The final straw - long and depressing UPDATE - THANK YOU ALL

So sorry... but don't waste all of your life experiences on this person. You are more than that. Focus on those that are positive.... hugs

I’m so sorry. His behavior was outrageous.

I'm so sorry.

I agree with everyone, these are HIS issues and has nothing to do with you who seems a lovely person. When you run across him at your volunteer position, be polite but very distant. He sounds a bit unstable, or at least not someone you can trust with your feelings.

HIs behavior is no way to treat anyone, but certainly out of line toward you considering your relationship to this point. Simply not acceptable. Be very leery if he reaches out to you again. He's showing you who he is.

Meantime, I am sorry you are hurting so. Take some time to lick your wounds, but as peabay said, this will pass. You are worth more than the way he treated you.

❤️❤️❤️

I’m so sorry. As they say “When people show you who they are - believe them”. Be kind to yourself. The day will come when you will no longer feel sadness for what you lost and you will be proud of yourself for being a survivor after moving through the heartache and pain.

I've got nothing but hugs for you.
People being awful and cruel tends to leave me dumbfounded. I hurt for you. ((hugs))

I'm so confused for you, with you! What a strange and horrible thing for him to do. As the others have said, this isn't you, it's him. Hugs from afar. x

I’m so sorry this jerk acted like an ass. As an adult, this should not have been handled like a high school breakup. He should have used his big boy words and handled himself like a grown up. I’m sorry you’ve suffered these losses and I can imagine it’s been hard. I hope after some time you will feel better and you are absolutely allowed to grieve no matter how badly he handled it.

I'm sorry that you're hurting so much lesley you deserve better than that. The least he could have done was to explain why. I know it's a phrase that is over used but to be honest you're better off without him.
Are you still scheduled together when manning the helpline? If you are, maybe it might be better to ask to be re-scheduled. It would save being uncomfortable in his presence.

“How do you deal with it when yet one more loss threatens to overwhelm you? Apart from my kids, in one way or another I’ve lost everyone who was ever important to me. Dear friends, my close family, my (ex)husband, my precious pup. I’ve handled each loss stoically and pragmatically, but now I feel completely unhinged. I can’t stop sobbing…”

Your friend threw a bomb and exploded your relationship. He’s screwed up and it was terribly cruel. He’ll likely switch schedules (you can!) or apologize profusely or both because of his shame. It’s a terribly sad and unexpected loss with those empty spaces that used to be filled.

You clearly know your grief goes deeper than him - you wrote it. His actions sent a tap root into heartbreaking losses that your stoicism and pragmatism have scabbed over, but they’re there. As my therapist used to say many years ago, “There’s where the work is.”

I had been talking about something and out of the blue he said, “I don’t think you’re over grieving for your dog.” I remember thinking, “Huh?!” and letting out a burst of laughter since it was unexpected and unrelated, and then burst into sobs The past is in our present, right?

I sense you’ll get through this more quickly than you think, through writing, counseling, reading, whatever you choose and need. You’re already self aware and understand connections. So please don’t deny yourself any help that you deserve to heal and grow and have your best, beautiful life.

ETA apologies for any wrong assumptions; your post moved me.

I understand and I'm really glad you're taking a break. As much as the need to help others you need to concentrate on yourself at the moment. In the meantime I'm sending you a gentle((( hug))) You will move forward, it just takes a little bit of time after such a kick in the gut like you've had. Take care

Aww Lesley, so many lovely comments here and I agree with them all. So sorry you’ve had this experience. What a jerk. Hoping you feel better soon and are able to count your blessings that you found out who is now and not later.