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Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2021 17:27:13 GMT
Hey all, just wanted to update you really quick. Sorry I haven't been participating, I'm still figuring my life out.
Anyway...
I officially filed for divorce and he was notified on Tuesday. He seemed shocked I would do it. It is what he wants and...well fuck him he can go.
The day I posted the last thread my doctor had put me on Lexapro. I think it had the opposite affect because as soon as I stopped taking it, I started to feel like me again.
Yes this is going to suck. He is doing his best to make me look like the bad guy. I am going to get every penny I am legally allowed to have and that upsets him. His words are "there's what's right and there's what's legal." Whatever the fuck that means.
Anyway after stopping the meds, I am doing better. I still have trouble sleeping and feel like I have been punched in the gut everytime I wake up, but then the day gets better.
I have a good support system both irl and here and joined a fb group for women going through divorce. My friends, family and colleagues are awesome and my students make my day daily.
I've binged watched the entire designated survivor series, caught up two seasons of The Rookie, the final season of Manifest and Prodigal Son, and finally watched the last 5 episodes of Hawaii 5-0. Will need to start something new now.
There's my update. I'm sure when she comes out in January it will be hard, but I'll figure something out. And our first court date is early in the morning one day she is here. No sleeping in for them. Maybe he will be moved out by then. They definitely won't be here.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,678
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Dec 11, 2021 17:32:03 GMT
Hey all, just wanted to update you really quick. Sorry I haven't been participating, I'm still figuring my life out. Anyway... I officially filed for divorce and he was notified on Tuesday. He seemed shocked I would do it. It is what he wants and...well fuck him he can go. The day I posted the last thread my doctor had put me on Lexapro. I think it had the opposite affect because as soon as I stopped taking it, I started to feel like me again. Yes this is going to suck. He is doing his best to make me look like the bad guy. I am going to get every penny I am legally allowed to have and that upsets him. His words are "there's what's right and there's what's legal." Whatever the fuck that means. Anyway after stopping the meds, I am doing better. I still have trouble sleeping and feel like I have been punched in the gut everytime I wake up, but then the day gets better. I have a good support system both irl and here and joined a fb group for women going through divorce. My friends, family and colleagues are awesome and my students make my day daily. I've binged watched the entire designated survivor series, caught up two seasons of The Rookie, the final season of Manifest and Prodigal Son, and finally watched the last 5 episodes of Hawaii 5-0. Will need to start something new now. There's my update. I'm sure when she comes out in January it will be hard, but I'll figure something out. And our first court date is early in the morning one day she is here. No sleeping in for them. Maybe he will be moved out by then. They definitely won't be here. continuing to send you my best. I'm sure it'll be hard when she comes out here - they'll have an initial honeymoon phase and then he's going to see that nothing has really changed for him - that she didn't solve his problems.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 1, 2024 2:50:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2021 17:33:11 GMT
Glad you're feeling more positive and getting things done for YOU. I haven't been there myself but I have no doubt that it is hard but I'm equally sure that you will get through this.
Is " she" moving there permanently in January or just visiting?
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 11, 2021 17:34:09 GMT
I am glad things are progressing and hopefully ahole will move out soon, I imagine having him in the house is a special kind of stress you don’t need. Let him try to make you the bad guy, anyone who matters will know he is a lying liar who lies. We are here for you, but I am so glad you have a strong support system and a job that uplifts you, students are such great medicine for your soul, even on the tough days.
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Post by papersilly on Dec 11, 2021 17:35:01 GMT
His words are "there's what's right and there's what's legal." Whatever the fuck that means. Regardless of what he means, I hope what is right AND what is legal will be on YOUR side.
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Post by destined2bmom on Dec 11, 2021 17:36:38 GMT
freecharlie Good for you! I am so proud of you for taking care of you and your children’s interests. I am keeping you and your children in my thoughts and prayers. And make sure you tell his parents the truth; so they know that you are not the one who has created this mess. He needs to take responsibility for his actions.
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Post by epeanymous on Dec 11, 2021 17:40:25 GMT
Best of luck as you navigate this process. Good for you for filing and for making sure you get what is yours.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2021 17:42:26 GMT
Glad you're feeling more positive and getting things done for YOU. I haven't been there myself but I have no doubt that it is hard but I'm equally sure that you will get through this. Is " she" moving there permanently in January or just visiting? just visiting
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Post by peace on Dec 11, 2021 17:48:44 GMT
you will get through this. Just keep doing what you're doing. One day (sometimes one moment) at a time.
And just come here and vent whenever necessary.
When the dust settles, he will be the loser. And he will have to live with that.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 11, 2021 17:49:05 GMT
Glad you're feeling more positive and getting things done for YOU. I haven't been there myself but I have no doubt that it is hard but I'm equally sure that you will get through this. Is " she" moving there permanently in January or just visiting? just visiting IN your house!?!?!?
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rgibson
Full Member
Posts: 467
Apr 26, 2021 22:49:21 GMT
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Post by rgibson on Dec 11, 2021 17:49:09 GMT
You sound strong in your update - that is always good when it comes to getting through the legal stuff!! I hope he moves out soon - I truly cannot imagine him trying to move his girlfriend into your home but these guys seem to have a weird sense of entitlement so I never put anything past them.
And of course you are the bad guy - you blew up his fairytale world of a wife and a girlfriend and a life of rainbows and unicorns. You will forever more be the bad guy in his eyes but in my experience, the vast majority of folks won't be fooled by his bullshit and woe is me tales.
Glad to hear you have such a great support network!!
And a tv show you might like - Rookie Blue.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 1, 2024 2:50:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2021 17:49:39 GMT
Glad you're feeling more positive and getting things done for YOU. I haven't been there myself but I have no doubt that it is hard but I'm equally sure that you will get through this. Is " she" moving there permanently in January or just visiting? just visiting Oh OK - I wonder how that will go then if their " liaison" has only been over the phone/online since HS I remember going to a school reunion a few years ago and meeting someone I thought was really lovely in HS and I had quite a crush on him but he turned out to be the bore of the whole evening 25 years later and his table manners were disgusting.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,580
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Dec 11, 2021 17:49:52 GMT
freecharlie I really like your update. You sound like you are working toward a better place mentally. Keep at it girl! Any chance he will be outta there before she comes to visit? (Does her DH know about your ex-ass?). Maybe lawyers can discuss the appropriateness of having HER at YOUR home with kids around. Can't hurt to bring it up, right? And what is legal is ABSOLUTELY what is RIGHT for YOU! Get everything you can. He's an ass.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2021 17:50:27 GMT
not if I can help it. I have her death threats against Mr, so I should be able to keep them away. They had this planned before I found out, she was coming for a couple of days just before ny bir
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2021 17:52:28 GMT
She had come out in October and I had no idea. They had sex in a camper trailer in the middle of a field that the guy rents it to store your camper...didn't even get a hotel room.
As far as I know her dh doesn't know yet
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Post by Zee on Dec 11, 2021 17:54:01 GMT
not if I can help it. I have her death threats against Mr, so I should be able to keep them away. They had this planned before I found out, she was coming for a couple of days just before ny bir Death threats? Say what?
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Post by littlemama on Dec 11, 2021 17:54:53 GMT
freecharlie I really like your update. You sound like you are working toward a better place mentally. Keep at it girl! Any chance he will be outta there before she comes to visit? (Does her DH know about your ex-ass?). Maybe lawyers can discuss the appropriateness of having HER at YOUR home with kids around. Can't hurt to bring it up, right? And what is legal is ABSOLUTELY what is RIGHT for YOU! Get everything you can. He's an ass. If I recall correctly, her kids are not children.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 1, 2024 2:50:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2021 17:59:42 GMT
She had come out in October and I had no idea. They had sex in a camper trailer in the middle of a field that the guy rents it to store your camper...didn't even get a hotel room. As far as I know her dh doesn't know yetCan you not send him a Christmas card Sure he'd appreciate the head up. Gosh they certainly know to be romantic don't they. They're acting like a couple of teenagers
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,890
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Dec 11, 2021 18:15:53 GMT
His awakening is only starting, the fact that he was shocked you filed for divorce only shows how deluded he is. Was he really expecting you to tolerate a girlfriend?
Take everything you entitled to and go live a better life.
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,359
Aug 9, 2014 23:13:22 GMT
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Post by DEX on Dec 11, 2021 18:19:12 GMT
Hey all, just wanted to update you really quick. Sorry I haven't been participating, I'm still figuring my life out. Anyway... I officially filed for divorce and he was notified on Tuesday. He seemed shocked I would do it. It is what he wants and...well fuck him he can go. The day I posted the last thread my doctor had put me on Lexapro. I think it had the opposite affect because as soon as I stopped taking it, I started to feel like me again. Yes this is going to suck. He is doing his best to make me look like the bad guy. I am going to get every penny I am legally allowed to have and that upsets him. His words are "there's what's right and there's what's legal." Whatever the fuck that means. Anyway after stopping the meds, I am doing better. I still have trouble sleeping and feel like I have been punched in the gut everytime I wake up, but then the day gets better. I have a good support system both irl and here and joined a fb group for women going through divorce. My friends, family and colleagues are awesome and my students make my day daily. I've binged watched the entire designated survivor series, caught up two seasons of The Rookie, the final season of Manifest and Prodigal Son, and finally watched the last 5 episodes of Hawaii 5-0. Will need to start something new now. There's my update. I'm sure when she comes out in January it will be hard, but I'll figure something out. And our first court date is early in the morning one day she is here. No sleeping in for them. Maybe he will be moved out by then. They definitely won't be here. continuing to send you my best. I'm sure it'll be hard when she comes out here - they'll have an initial honeymoon phase and then he's going to see that nothing has really changed for him - that she didn't solve his problems. i will echo this. Your story is nearly identical to mine. He did end up marrying her. From what I hear from my son, his father is miserable and is currently in treatment for alcohol abuse. Nothing changed for him. The euphoria ended and he was left with all the unresolved issues he had prior to his affair. It was certainly a challenge. It took me a very long time to recover. You are strong and can do this. Once you are on the other side you will be able to look back and realize how he did you a favor.
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Post by librarylady on Dec 11, 2021 18:21:18 GMT
I like the update and that you are taking action on YOUR behalf.
Please tell me that he is in the basement. If he has the nerve to bring her into the basement, call the police and have her removed. Check with your attorney on what you can to do make sure they don't try that--maybe it is the camper again for them.
I do think I'd call her husband and tell him where she is visiting and why, once she is in town again. (cause I'm like that)
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Post by cakediva on Dec 11, 2021 18:25:35 GMT
Hugs - hand his ass to him on a legal platter and get every penny you deserve.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 11, 2021 18:27:11 GMT
I am so glad to read your better update. Please try to get him out of the house before she shows up. Otherwise, talk to your lawyer about how to make sure he doesn’t bring her into your home. I can practically guarantee that you’re going to end up happier and more stable than he will be.
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Post by sabrinae on Dec 11, 2021 18:33:26 GMT
Hey all, just wanted to update you really quick. Sorry I haven't been participating, I'm still figuring my life out. Anyway... I officially filed for divorce and he was notified on Tuesday. He seemed shocked I would do it. It is what he wants and...well fuck him he can go. The day I posted the last thread my doctor had put me on Lexapro. I think it had the opposite affect because as soon as I stopped taking it, I started to feel like me again. Yes this is going to suck. He is doing his best to make me look like the bad guy. I am going to get every penny I am legally allowed to have and that upsets him. His words are "there's what's right and there's what's legal." Whatever the fuck that means. Anyway after stopping the meds, I am doing better. I still have trouble sleeping and feel like I have been punched in the gut everytime I wake up, but then the day gets better. I have a good support system both irl and here and joined a fb group for women going through divorce. My friends, family and colleagues are awesome and my students make my day daily. I've binged watched the entire designated survivor series, caught up two seasons of The Rookie, the final season of Manifest and Prodigal Son, and finally watched the last 5 episodes of Hawaii 5-0. Will need to start something new now. There's my update. I'm sure when she comes out in January it will be hard, but I'll figure something out. And our first court date is early in the morning one day she is here. No sleeping in for them. Maybe he will be moved out by then. They definitely won't be here. Ignore him to the best of your ability and go after every penny your legally entitled to including whatever you can get of his retirement. That’s the right thing to do for you and for your kids. He can deal with the consequences of his decisions. Anyone who actually matters will know he’s a liar and a cheater. Hang in there.
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 11, 2021 18:39:17 GMT
His awakening is only starting, the fact that he was shocked you filed for divorce only shows how deluded he is. Was he really expecting you to tolerate a girlfriend? Take everything you entitled to and go live a better life. Exactly. What the hell did he think that you were going to do? I suspect that this is not going to work out quite the way that they think that it will. I mean, she hasn’t even told her husband? Doesn’t sound like they have done much planning, whereas you are taking the steps to safeguard your future happiness.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2021 18:40:27 GMT
She had come out in October and I had no idea. They had sex in a camper trailer in the middle of a field that the guy rents it to store your camper...didn't even get a hotel room. As far as I know her dh doesn't know yetCan you not send him a Christmas card Sure he'd appreciate the head up. Gosh they certainly know to be romantic don't they. They're acting like a couple of teenagers Jr high shit, literally
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Dec 11, 2021 18:40:57 GMT
She had come out in October and I had no idea. They had sex in a camper trailer in the middle of a field that the guy rents it to store your camper...didn't even get a hotel room. Klassy. You should keep a running list of shit like this so when those inevitable doubts come in you can remember all the reasons you’re far better off without him. I admire your strength.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,580
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Dec 11, 2021 18:46:00 GMT
She had come out in October and I had no idea. They had sex in a camper trailer in the middle of a field that the guy rents it to store your camper...didn't even get a hotel room. As far as I know her dh doesn't know yet Ew! If you haven't already, please go get tested.
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Post by Merge on Dec 11, 2021 18:48:07 GMT
So sorry, but glad to hear you’re taking control of things to the extent you are able. I hope you take him to the cleaners and that you get the pleasure of seeing him miserable, alone, and still having to send you a chunk of his paycheck.
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Post by cannmom on Dec 11, 2021 19:13:03 GMT
I’m glad you are feeling better. Lexapro didn’t work for me either. I take Prozac and feel much better on it. It’s good that you have been enjoying some tv . We loved Ozark and Derry Girls. Ozark is dark, but Derry Girls is light and funny.
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