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Post by sleepingbooty on Dec 14, 2021 17:11:42 GMT
Oh wow, freecharlie, just caught up on your pending divorce story. I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Your soon-to-be ex-husband is peak patriarchy right now. He decides to cheat and get a mistress, he decides to end your marriage, he decides when to tell the kids, and now he thinks he gets to decide when to move ahead with the proceedings? No fuckin' way. Serve his self-serving arse. Pronto. It's not a gift to you or an expense you need to consider: it's literally investing in your own best interest and future. Move ahead and use every weapon in the legal toolbox at your disposal. Hang in there! You're going to get through this and you're going to do it so impeccably you'll come out the winner in the end.
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Post by cat2007 on Dec 14, 2021 18:03:47 GMT
Here in NYS anyone can serve the papers. I did it for a friend of mine. Easy-peasy and it saved her some money.
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Post by flanz on Dec 14, 2021 18:15:01 GMT
Omg, he won't sign the waiver of service and now I'm going to have to pay to have his ass served. He doesn't have a lawyer yet. He is meeting with one on Friday. I think he's just going to hire the first one he meets with? I think he might be holding out until then, but if I wait to have him served it will be after Christmas Should I serve him asap or wait to see if he pulls his head out of his ass and just signs??? DO IT NOW!
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Post by flanz on Dec 14, 2021 18:15:51 GMT
Wrap the paperwork up in a pretty box... tie with a nice big bow... then... have him served at the hospital in front of all his colleagues!!! Asshole!!! One last Christmas present from you... and then he will always remember how he fucked up your family's Christmas spirit!!!! LOVING THIS IDEA!
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Post by flanz on Dec 14, 2021 18:19:40 GMT
I hesitate to ask this, as it’s likely you’ve already been asked. How does your attorney feel about you both living in the same home now, and for the foreseeable future? I cannot imagine that it is healthy in any way. My ex and I lived in the same home for 9, actually closer to 10 months after I asked for the split. It was awful, and tense, and I really feel for you being in a similar situation. I finally just moved into a cheap, awful furnished rental. But, it was far better than continuing to be in the same house, Anyhow…sending lots of good thoughts to you tonight… right now my attorney is fine with it. Right now he comes home and pretty much goes down stairs with his beer and stays there. When he is off and upstairs and I'm not home, im not a fan of him being near my stuff, but at least not near me. Last weekend when he was off, he left for both days early and came home in the evening and then went downstairs with his beer. I'm hoping that is the norm. It does such. I hate when he is near. I hate that I still love husband 1.0, but I'm getting stronger. Hopefully by the time the divorce is final, I'll be super strong. I'm going to continue to lean on all of you for a lot. Sounds like you don't have your stuff behind a locked door yet... Please consider doing that, like yesterday. I'm another one rooting you on from afar! You can do this!
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,846
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Dec 14, 2021 18:55:04 GMT
I have no experience and no advice to share but just wanted you to know that I'm pulling for you and I support you all the way! I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but you are so much stronger than you know and one day you will realize that you are in control of your life. Not him. Hang in there!!
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 14, 2021 21:40:03 GMT
Yea! I'm glad things are looking up. I've had side effects with some depression meds too and I'm glad you figured it out.
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Post by gryroagain on Dec 14, 2021 22:21:14 GMT
Absolutely the best thing you can do is show him he is NOT driving this train. He lost that responsibility and you need to take care of you.
He will be aghast, ask why you can’t be friends, etc. Fuck him.
You got this.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 14, 2021 22:53:21 GMT
Woke up in the middle of the night, nit like I'd been punched in the gut, but instead I was just irritated.
Lots of ups and downs, but I'll make it.
I asked my attorney to have him served. She was checking to see if they could do it tomorrow or Thursday (then he's off until next week)
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Post by mom on Dec 15, 2021 23:57:52 GMT
Woke up in the middle of the night, nit like I'd been punched in the gut, but instead I was just irritated. Lots of ups and downs, but I'll make it. I asked my attorney to have him served. She was checking to see if they could do it tomorrow or Thursday (then he's off until next week) Yes, you will make it. And one day you won't even recall how hard it was. You'll just know you made it through it. One foot in front of the other.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 16, 2021 2:32:59 GMT
Woke up in the middle of the night, nit like I'd been punched in the gut, but instead I was just irritated. Lots of ups and downs, but I'll make it. I asked my attorney to have him served. She was checking to see if they could do it tomorrow or Thursday (then he's off until next week) Yes, you will make it. And one day you won't even recall how hard it was. You'll just know you made it through it. One foot in front of the other. I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but my brother was a financial planner before he got cancer. I'm enlisting his help. His wife, my SIL, is an attorney. She works for the state, but she still understands the law.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 16, 2021 2:37:12 GMT
Yes, you will make it. And one day you won't even recall how hard it was. You'll just know you made it through it. One foot in front of the other. I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but my brother was a financial planner before he got cancer. I'm enlisting his help. His wife, my SIL, is an attorney. She works for the state, but she still understands the law. I did giggle at your post! That’s the spirit!
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Post by mom on Dec 16, 2021 2:54:24 GMT
Yes, you will make it. And one day you won't even recall how hard it was. You'll just know you made it through it. One foot in front of the other. I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but my brother was a financial planner before he got cancer. I'm enlisting his help. His wife, my SIL, is an attorney. She works for the state, but she still understands the law. Yes! Use every resource available to you! Those who love you will want to help!
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Post by amp on Dec 16, 2021 2:55:21 GMT
Yes, you will make it. And one day you won't even recall how hard it was. You'll just know you made it through it. One foot in front of the other. I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but my brother was a financial planner before he got cancer. I'm enlisting his help. His wife, my SIL, is an attorney. She works for the state, but she still understands the law. You got this!! Never forget this feeling.
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