|
Post by iamkristinl16 on Dec 17, 2021 0:27:52 GMT
I always think it is interesting when people describe Dutch people as being liberal. I grew up in an area that was primarily filled with people with Dutch heritage and they are definitely not liberal. I wonder at what point in history Dutch people became liberal? Or is it that the ones that came here came because they weren’t liberal? Although I guess I don’t consider allowing teens to have sex in your home openly to be “liberal”. I presume that the people you’re talking about came here a very long time ago to escape religious persecution and that the Netherlands became liberal later after those people left. I grew up going there all the time because my grandparents live there and I can tell you that I remember going to the beach in 1983 and every single woman on this beach grandmother included was topless ! They have coffee shop where you can order cannabis ,prostitution is legal and euthanasia was legalize probably more than 30 years ago when I say that a liberal they are extremely liberal. Yes, I believe they came in the 1800's. I don't know how it is now, but when I was in High School there were still no stores or restaurants open on Sundays, if someone was mowing their lawn or doing other work on a Sunday it was not uncommon for others to chastise them for it. There also were no bars in town or anywhere to buy alcohol. Dating or marrying outside of the Christian Reformed faith was frowned upon. At the time, a majority of kids that I knew had family that lived there for generations, not many "outsiders". However, I do think that has changed with an influx of immigrant workers.
|
|
|
Post by Crack-a-lackin on Dec 17, 2021 0:41:43 GMT
It’s very interesting reading this thread. USA has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies yet one of the poorest overall sex ed in schools coverage. Although rates are dropping they are still high in comparison to other developed countries. From what I read today, the state with the highest rates is one of the most religious and has no sex ed in schools. Hmmm…. Good quality sex education at an early ages doesn’t lead to promiscuity or early sex, quite the opposite. You’re right, but you’re making a logical statement about the same states who don’t believe in science and mask wearing. They just are unwilling to accept that teaching quality sex education is the answer to reducing teen pregnancy.
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Dec 17, 2021 0:48:56 GMT
Hadn't gotten around to responding to this one yet. We said no to sleepovers while the girls were in high school. Only one of them was sleeping with her boyfriend at that time, and TBH, we didn't like him and didn't want to encourage the relationship, so sleeping over was not allowed. That said, we knew they were having sex. She and I have a very open relationship about these things, and she told me right away when it was time for birth control. We got her an implant and I also provided condoms. I don't have any moral scruples about sex before marriage, nor do I agree that sex is only for long term commitments. I just think everything should be consensual and responsible. If/when either of them brings home a guy with whom they are sleeping, I don't foresee forbidding them to share a bed. If for no other reason that we don't really have a guest room.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Dec 17, 2021 8:31:30 GMT
I’ll just chime in and say I really don’t agree that a person should only have sex with someone they are spending the rest of their life with. Gosh that would leave out a lot of fun sex. In fairness, I'm not sure I even agree with myself. I am just saying, I was raised to believe that yes, it was fun - but that wasn't meant to be primarily about. It's meant to be an expression of love. And the 'fun' part is just a nice fringe benefit.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Dec 17, 2021 8:35:58 GMT
I know the argument is they are going to do it anyway but we decided as parents we won’t be the ones to give them a key to a little love nest we pay the mortgage on. Sexual activity has emotional consequences and regrets can have long lasting mental health issues, even. Convenience can lead to more impulsive decisions or move up the timeline to intimacy. Sure they may do it anyway but our kids would have been confused if we weren’t standing our ground on it. That’s just how we did it. Everyone has to make their own choices as parents. Well said.
|
|
|
Post by gar on Dec 17, 2021 8:45:24 GMT
It's meant to be an expression of love. I have loved people I didn't want to, or didn't end up, spending the rest of my life with.
|
|
stittsygirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,600
Location: In the leaves and rain.
Jun 25, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
|
Post by stittsygirl on Dec 17, 2021 8:59:32 GMT
At the risk of being judged by the Peas, let me just say that some of the best sex I've had was with a FWB, with whom I had no intention of spending my life. 🤷♀️ Yeah, the idea of only ever having sex with one person seems unrealistic to me. Suppose you don’t meet ‘the one’ until you’re 28? 30? Why should young women not have an enjoyable sex life before marriage if they want one? Thank you. Not having a broader sexual experience before I was married has been a regret in my life, and has caused some issues for both me and my DH in our 27-year marriage.
|
|
|
Post by chances on Dec 17, 2021 9:36:34 GMT
For those who allow sex in their home for high school students, have you ever conflicted with the other parents? What would/ did you say if they asked that sex not be allowed while their child was at your home?
|
|
|
Post by gar on Dec 17, 2021 9:46:32 GMT
For those who allow sex in their home for high school students, have you ever conflicted with the other parents? What would/ did you say if they asked that sex not be allowed while their child was at your home? Personally we didn’t encounter that but I think that had been the case then I would have said no to the sleepover.
|
|