Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581 
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 15:46:00 GMT
Long story, but a couple of months ago, I came home from work one day to discover my DH (D most definitely does NOT stand for DEAR!) had literally "stolen" my desk out of my home office. A huge a$$ desk, L shaped, with a couple of large drawers and a cabinet, plus I huge hutch on top that had two more cabinets, plus two shelves that I had bins full of stuff on. He didn't take it out of the house, but upstairs to HIS new home office, that he created when he out of the blue quit his job to start his own business. (That's a whole 'nother story!). Anyway...he took every single thing out of my desk and dumped it into tubs and laundry baskets and just left it all sitting in the middle of the room. It has been a freaking disaster in there ever since. Even though the room is on the main floor of our house and I have had to look at the mess every single day since the beginning of October, I just couldn't bring myself to start sorting out. I had NO idea what I was going to do with any of it, and I kept putting it off. I have only opened a bin if there was something in there I need. I decided today was the day I was going to start going through it all. I am off work until January 3, and I thought I could spend 30 or so minutes in there each day and get it taken care of. Well...once I got started, I was on a roll. A lot of the stuff should probably have been thrown away a long time ago, but, a lot of it is things that I could keep and find a spot for, or just pitch. The ugly side of me has even thrown away stuff that is his, or that he could use now in his office, but I will never use. So I threw all that away too, thinking F it. He can buy that shit himself if he needs it. Things like mailing labels, computer paper, etc. I probably threw away half of what has been sitting all over the room, maybe more than that, and wow, did it feel great! I even threw away a bunch of old magazines without looking through them to see if there is anything worth tearing out. LOL That is quite an accomplishment for me!  And bonus...my son did a moving job a month or so ago, and the people gave him a desk they no longer wanted, and he was going to take it to Goodwill, but I talked him into giving it to me. It's a cute little antique desk that will look great in that room. It's been sitting in the garage, but now he can put it in there. I should be out finishing my Christmas shopping, but this felt better than getting my shopping finished.   I do still have some piles of stuff to put away, but not much compared to all that was in those tubs. |
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Dec 22, 2021 15:48:32 GMT
He did what?  |
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Dec 22, 2021 15:49:28 GMT
While you're cleaning...  |
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 15:53:33 GMT
While you're cleaning... Oh, I definitely want to do THAT too, for other reasons. LOL I was sort of envisioning myself getting rid of him while I was dumping things into the trash in the garage. LOL (Only sort of laughing) |
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 15:55:18 GMT
He did what? Yep, he did. That morning when I left for work, he told me he was going to try to find a desk that day. Silly me, I thought that meant he was going to go buy one. I was so shocked and furious when I got home that night to find my stuff everywhere. It's a wonder I'm still alive because I thought I was going to have a stroke. |
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Dec 22, 2021 15:58:46 GMT
He did what? Yep, he did. That morning when I left for work, he told me he was going to try to find a desk that day. Silly me, I thought that meant he was going to go buy one. I was so shocked and furious when I got home that night to find my stuff everywhere. It's a wonder I'm still alive because I thought I was going to have a stroke. You're a better woman than I am. It would have been an episode of Snapped over here. Murder town.  |
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Dec 22, 2021 16:00:38 GMT
WTF? I think I would have hired movers to put MY desk back where it belonged and put a lock on the door. And his items wouldn’t have been put in bins or laundry baskets. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe he did that. Seriously, my mouth literally dropped open when I read it. That is not in any way acceptable.
So glad you’re culling through your items and getting a new-to-you desk that you’re excited about!
|
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 16:01:10 GMT
Yep, he did. That morning when I left for work, he told me he was going to try to find a desk that day. Silly me, I thought that meant he was going to go buy one. I was so shocked and furious when I got home that night to find my stuff everywhere. It's a wonder I'm still alive because I thought I was going to have a stroke. You're a better woman than I am. It would have been an episode of Snapped over here. Murder town. Believe, me, I was close to that point. This was the rotten cherry on top of the shit cupcake that I've been dealing with already. The only thing that calmed me down was texting a friend who I knew would calm me down. LOL That, and thinking that I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison. I watch enough shows on Oxygen Channel to know that women who kill their husbands always get caught! I am old, and way too big of a sissy to spend my life in prison. |
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 22, 2021 16:02:45 GMT
Yay for what you have accomplished!!!
He is lucky he is able to still walk!
|
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 16:03:04 GMT
WTF? I think I would have hired movers to put MY desk back where it belonged and put a lock on the door. And his items wouldn’t have been put in bins or laundry baskets. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe he did that. Seriously, my mouth literally dropped open when I read it. That is not in any way acceptable. So glad you’re culling through your items and getting a new-to-you desk that you’re excited about! HAHA I almost made my son do just that. LOL I couldn't lock the door though because it is an open concept house. I would have had to put up a wall between that room and the kitchen and that room and the dining room. LOL The real shitty thing is that when he got home a couple of hours later, I had calmed down, but I let him know how pissed I was, and he said, "I bought the desk, I can do whatever I want with it." |
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Dec 22, 2021 16:06:53 GMT
Well, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of...him... but glad you got your project done! I hope you gift yourself generously this holiday with peace, relaxation, and whatever the fuck you want, because girl, you deserve it.
|
|
sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
|
Post by sassyangel on Dec 22, 2021 16:09:51 GMT
WTF? I think I would have hired movers to put MY desk back where it belonged and put a lock on the door. And his items wouldn’t have been put in bins or laundry baskets. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe he did that. Seriously, my mouth literally dropped open when I read it. That is not in any way acceptable. So glad you’re culling through your items and getting a new-to-you desk that you’re excited about! HAHA I almost made my son do just that. LOL I couldn't lock the door though because it is an open concept house. I would have had to put up a wall between that room and the kitchen and that room and the dining room. LOL The real shitty thing is that when he got home a couple of hours later, I had calmed down, but I let him know how pissed I was, and he said, "I bought the desk, I can do whatever I want with it." 😨 I’m just going to borrow a leaf out of Sock’s repertoire.  |
|
Violette Vixen
Full Member
Jenn
Posts: 292
Location: The Poconos, PA
Nov 27, 2019 19:11:25 GMT
|
Post by Violette Vixen on Dec 22, 2021 16:14:35 GMT
So what was his response when you said WTH?? Inquiring minds...
ETA: I see his response, HELL NO!!
|
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,666
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Dec 22, 2021 16:27:23 GMT
I'm just flabbergasted!! If my DH did something like that and said that, we would be in marriage counseling the next day.
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,899
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Dec 22, 2021 16:33:36 GMT
Ohh hell noooo... when he said that he would've tasted my knuckles.. theres no way i wouldn't have punched him in the face...
I just can not believe he said that!!!! Insanity
I dont know but id be getting my ducks in a row.. im sooo sorry but that is horrible
|
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 22, 2021 16:38:20 GMT
oh HELL naw!  I’d be Pea livid. But I’m glad you were able to work your way through it and create some organization out of the chaos. I will say I shuddered in abject horror at the thought of throwing away perfectly good mailing labels! 😱😱😱 I would have printed all of them up with MY NAME ONLY to use as cute return address labels, donated them to a nonprofit organization or found some other good use for them but I wouldn’t have given them back to him. As an aside, standard 1”x2-5/8” mailing labels are the perfect size to print cute clip art on and wrap around a Hershey’s Nugget. You can rubber stamp designs on them too, if you’re so inclined. Just saying! |
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,899
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Dec 22, 2021 16:38:41 GMT
Also SockMonkey that guy is creepyyyy!!! And Im sorry Just T...i dont know if youve posted about ur jackass... if you have, i missed it.. i hope the holidays are ok for you... |
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 16:42:40 GMT
I'm just flabbergasted!! If my DH did something like that and said that, we would be in marriage counseling the next day. Oh, we are way beyond that point. |
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 16:43:36 GMT
Also SockMonkey that guy is creepyyyy!!! And Im sorry Just T...i dont know if youve posted about ur jackass... if you have, i missed it.. i hope the holidays are ok for you... No, I haven't posted about it. It's too much, and I am not really ready for that yet. Holidays are ok...because I am doing my best to make it so. |
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,581
|
Post by Just T on Dec 22, 2021 16:44:29 GMT
I dont know but id be getting my ducks in a row.. im sooo sorry but that is horrible Oh, I definitely AM getting my ducks in a row. |
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,666
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Dec 22, 2021 16:48:32 GMT
Just reread your post. He quit his job with out disgusting it with you? These are some pretty big red flags.
Eta: just read your post on this and I'm sorry.
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,899
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Dec 22, 2021 16:59:51 GMT
(((((JUST T)))))
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 3:32:45 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2021 17:08:58 GMT
That's sucky of him!! I'm sorry!! My divorce STILL stings if I think about it! I was supposed to get the house (MY house that was in MY name), and specific contents that I put in the Separation Agreement. Barely anything held true and I had no energy or $$ to hire lawyers and bring him to court. Would have been difficult because he was an attorney in good standing--not too many attorneys would take the case anyway!
So, he let the mortgage get to foreclosure (I had no idea--he handled all of the $$---BIG mistake!!!!!). When I found out, I did a Shortsale and at least saved my name a bit! Idiot! He stopped paying the mortgage on the exact day we signed the Separation Agreement!! Talk about petty!!!!!!!!
I imagined that I'd stay in that house forever. I loved it. Loved the area. Loved the furniture *I* bought that should have lasted forever. I was left with almost nothing. I took my Kitchen Aid mixer (while he was out of the house! Dragged it with me on a train!!!), and a few other things. One of my sisters went in and quickly took bins of things she thought I'd want. Not even sure where my baby scrapbooks are, baby pics, family videos and so much more.
It STINKS that some people can't work through a divorce in a civil way! They make it into The War of the Roses, and it's so unnecessary. So sorry you're going through this. The day I walked out was the day I felt real relief. I wish that for you!
|
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 22, 2021 17:20:35 GMT
I don't really know what to say to this one. It's not a joking matter for me, but rather a serious act (actually series of acts) that show complete disregard for you as a partner. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Dec 22, 2021 17:32:01 GMT
I don't really know what to say to this one. It's not a joking matter for me, but rather a serious act (actually series of acts) that show complete disregard for you as a partner. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Me too. I try not to judge people’s relationships because what works for some clearly doesn’t work for others. I know people in open marriages who seem perfectly happy and are caring and loving spouses to each other, I know families where the woman stays home and does housework all day like Donna .Reed and is seriously very happy about it. Every relationship is different and I try to understand that, but what you are describing is very upsetting to me and I am sorry you are in that situation. The blatant and horrid disregard and disrespect is just appalling to me, so I am just going to offer you gentle hugs. |
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Dec 22, 2021 17:38:53 GMT
wow. the brass ones on him! but a purge feels good, doesn't it? enjoy your new desk and office.
|
|
sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
|
Post by sassyangel on Dec 22, 2021 17:47:09 GMT
I'm just flabbergasted!! If my DH did something like that and said that, we would be in marriage counseling the next day. Oh, we are way beyond that point. I’m sorry justt, that’s sucky.  I prescribe progressively throwing more things (maybe some more of his? As therapy, of course) out. |
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 22, 2021 17:51:23 GMT
You've hinted here and there that you've been going through some stuff lately in your marriage but boy, this just sounds like a disrespectful nightmare. I'm so sorry. I've been through a divorce and I know it's not pretty. I'm sending you my prayers. I promise you when all is said and done, you will feel better. It will get easier.
|
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Dec 22, 2021 17:51:38 GMT
I truly am sorry that you are living with someone who disrespects you so very much.
I send good karma for your future.
|
|
|
|
Post by CardBoxer on Dec 22, 2021 17:59:16 GMT
I am in awe of your rotten lemons to lemonade approach to the inexcusable, and hope you know how awesome you are for doing that.
|
|
I do still have some piles of stuff to put away, but not much compared to all that was in those tubs. 
