Chinagirl828
Drama Llama
Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 6,640
Member is Online
Jun 28, 2014 6:28:53 GMT
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Post by Chinagirl828 on Apr 12, 2022 21:58:35 GMT
Well, the fur stole is in the bag still. I can't say there weren't a few tears shed, and not positive it will stay in the bag, but at least it's a start. I found a lamp in the bottom of a pile of blankets, so got rid of that too, and a few shirts that come down too far in the neckline for me. So, that's a start! I'll add another vote for it doesn't seem like it's quite the right time to let it go, and that's ok. When my grandparents first passed away I kept lots of things they owned, as time has passed I've come to realise some of the things I kept are not as important to me, so I've slowly been getting rid of them. I'd hate to see you in a situation like my grandmother, who sold her mother's Queen Anne lounge suite, and spent years regretting it. If your sister wants it, then that sounds like a good way to let it go, but otherwise I think it's ok to hang onto it a bit longer.
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Post by tentoes on Apr 12, 2022 23:34:01 GMT
Thanks ladies for your reassurance that it's ok to keep the stole "until later." I will ask my sister if she wants it before I get rid of it. It was traumatic to actually put it in the donation bag, but I left it there--and I seem to be over it now. My mom has been gone for MANY years (over 40). My reluctance is probably because of all the "rest" of the upheaval I've lived through this past three years after losing my sweet husband. If I actually wore the thing at all over the years it would probably be a different thing, but I "think" I'm ok now. It was "just the thought" of getting rid of it that put me over the top for a bit!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 13, 2022 10:00:51 GMT
tentoes If getting rid of your mom's fur made you cry, I think you should take it out and keep it. Purging and downsizing does not mean we can't keep things that are meaningful to us, even if they are not useful. I agree.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 15, 2022 11:41:46 GMT
My BIL is currently staying with another brother while undergoing chemo. I mentioned here before that he has hoarder tendencies. I believe he trusts me, as I work hard to respect his boundaries.
He is letting me finish getting rid of odds and ends in the dressers from his late mother, move his clothes into the dressers on main floor, and get rid of all late MIL's medical supplies! That is major.
A vent - his sisters donated late MIL's clothes, but did an incomplete job. There are still a few things in the closet and dressers. Ugh, why? Why would they not do it all? It's nothing special or sentimental, just a coat and old underwear!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 15, 2022 12:13:54 GMT
I finally got my instant pot out of the box over two years after buying it. Well, actually a friend staying with me got it out to prove to me what it could do! Lol. It’s been used three times since so I decided to find a spot for it.
I also picked up an air fryer from someone downsizing to try and see if I liked it well enough to get one. It’s been used twice and my husband loved the steak house fries I made in it.
I hate a cluttered counter though. My coffee pot and tea kettle get counter space as they are daily use. My kitchenaid mixer also stays out because I love it and use it frequently enough to justify it. These had to be tucked away though.
I ended up emptying the linen closet in the closest bathroom (a full bath off my husband’s office that we really treat as a powder room). I purged and reorganized to free up one easily accessible shelf. So these two appliances are tucked away but I can pull them out easily. A win!
Oh, and I too have a fur from my aunt that I’ve never worn but keep for sentimental reasons. I’m okay with that.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 17, 2022 21:59:51 GMT
Happy Easter to my fellow organizers and declutterers! It looks like several of you have been doing a lot of work! Yesterday I was putting away the new boxes for DH's new iPad and cover, when he asked if we really needed to keep Apple boxes any longer. I had done a purge of these boxes during Covid, but they have accumulated once again. So I went through and got rid of all Apple boxes in the cabinet. The new boxes stayed - for now - but will be tossed once we have passed the return period in a couple of weeks. In the past I kept them because I found it helped with selling things. Now we no longer sell, but trade-in when we upgrade so there is no reason to keep them. Now I just have a clear shoebox filled with extra cables and chargers, 2 bluetooth keyboards left from trade-ins, and 3 new in box Apple watch bands for DH. The keyboards stay because I am unbelievably hard on them. Usually it's related to spilling coffee or water on them. The watchbands are because they don't take those back on trade-ins, and he wears a different band that I gifted him a couple of years ago. He's not ready to part with them. They fit in the shoebox, so that is fine with me. A total of 17 boxes went into recycling. I also pulled an old time machine and Mac Mini (that crashed) to recycle through Apple. Labels have been printed and they will be gone in the next couple of days.
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Post by ntsf on Apr 17, 2022 22:29:10 GMT
since I am at my dad's condo getting rid of stuff after his death. everyone has been through and "claimed" certain things. I am hoping to store 4 boxes at my mother in laws, to take back home in august when I am up in this town again. and then packing away, and maybe storing a box or two at my friends' -- we will see.
getting furniture moved with the lugg app (some goes to the dump, some goes to my sister's place). it is chaos, but got rid of a load of stuff one brother wanted..off to his daughter's house.
I will be more motivated when I get home to get rid of stuff!! my daughter is up from new zealand and says she will look through everything she left behind when she moved 10 yrs ago.. it will either go home with her to NZ or disappeared!! so there is progress.
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Post by Linda on Apr 19, 2022 17:04:54 GMT
really small successes this week - finished two books -one will be mailed to the older kids (we're all doing the same reading challenge this year and it's one of books) and the other is in the donation box. DH threw away four identical small calenders from 1990. I tossed a broken bird feeder but I replaced it with a new one so no net change.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Apr 20, 2022 2:55:58 GMT
Purged a bag of older undies that I never really liked and a bag of old files we don’t need. The papers will get shredded at a shredding event next Saturday along with the last of my late FILs papers.
Pulled out a couple of old scrapbook albums that I never used snd don’t like. Little by little going through things.
My current goal is a bag a week of stuff leaving the house.
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Post by ntsf on Apr 20, 2022 3:40:48 GMT
at my dad's condo, took 60 lbs to shredding (then came home and found more to go), just took out 14 brown bags of recycling, and 7 bags of garbage. took stuff to goodwill, went through all dressers, all file cabinets, all misc furniture.. packed up a few more boxes.
have to tackle storage closet tomorrow.. too much today. I have three more days to work on it here. taking another load of stuff to keep to my mother in laws friday..took 5 boxes there yesterday. I am coming back to town in the summer. this all makes me a tired person.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,403
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Apr 20, 2022 6:33:48 GMT
I finally got a big load dropped off at Goodwill. I have another smaller load yet to be donated hopefully sometime soon. When college age DS comes home next month I plan to have him go through his bedroom and see what can get tossed/donated.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 20, 2022 12:11:14 GMT
I mentioned my BIL gave me permission to empty his mom's dressers and move his clothes up from the LL for him.
OMG. He definitely has hoarder tendencies. I filled a huge rolling recycling can with cardboard and plastic just from his bedroom.
His sisters told everyone they donated all my late MIL's clothes. Not. They left 4 pair of pants, a shirt, and a robe in the closet. Weird. They left half the stuff in the dressers. I donated 2 bags of clothing, relocated things that don't belong in a bedroom to the office and another closet. I also filled the huge trash can full of more expired food and miscellaneous stuff I can't donate.
It made me want to do even more purging in my own home!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 21, 2022 9:00:44 GMT
I haven't been actively decluttering, exactly, lately, but I find myself very aware of all that's around me, and what is coming into the house.
I find that a lot comes in, or comes to, my house without my "permission." Things like restaurant flyers and political ads being stuck in my railing. Junk mail. Even endless school worksheets.
And I toss/recycle them as they come, but I'm annoyed by the fact that they are just one more thing I have to touch and handle.
And then there's....
I'm startled by the fact that at least half my life is over. It's making me think hard about paving a path of least resistance for my kids, so when I do pass, they don't have an extra burden of cleanup from my stuff.
I've also still been working on my compost pile, which if for nothing else, is making me happy that I'm keeping just a little more out of the landfill.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 21, 2022 16:08:27 GMT
I find that a lot comes in, or comes to, my house without my "permission." Things like restaurant flyers and political ads being stuck in my railing. Junk mail. . It's daily with the mail and once a week with one of those "free" newspapers they toss in my yard. I resent the effort it takes for me to dispose of these things. I am very good about going through the mail as soon as it comes and sorting. It either goes straight into the trash, the shred basket or to my desk for attention/filing. 90% of it is trash/shredding. I'm startled by the fact that at least half my life is over. It's making me think hard about paving a path of least resistance for my kids, so when I do pass, they don't have an extra burden of cleanup from my stuff. This seems to be a theme with my friends. I just turned 65 last month and it is always in the back of my mind now. Additionally, all 4 parents have passed and we had to deal with sorting/disposing of their belongings. We are making a concerted effort to minimize that burden for DD (an only), but still have a long way to go. DH agreed to WFH yesterday to wait for the brick mason while I was in a sewing workshop. Mason never showed but he managed to do some serious decluttering and organizing in his office. Extra monitor was put back in the closet, credenza top cleared off and 3 brown grocery sacks full of old magazines put in the recycling bin. At least his day wasn't a total waste! I added a few more things from the defunct eBay pile (I no longer sell online) to the donation bag. Trying to sort that room out a little at a time. I've just been through a month or so of a full schedule, but that is slowing down now thankfully. Now I'll have more time to devote to my projects and decluttering.
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Post by Linda on Apr 21, 2022 16:27:55 GMT
I haven't been actively decluttering, exactly, lately, but I find myself very aware of all that's around me, and what is coming into the house. Yes - like you and **GypsyGirl** - I'm really good at tossing the junk mail and dealing with the rest right off but DH tends to either pile it up to look at later or open it and pile it up to deal with later (which is mostly tossing or shredding). I've gotten in the habit of gathering it up into my hands and asking - is it ok to toss/shread this but I really wish he would either deal with it himself or leave the piles in his space not on our dining room table (that we eat at twice a day) I'm startled by the fact that at least half my life is over. It's making me think hard about paving a path of least resistance for my kids, so when I do pass, they don't have an extra burden of cleanup from my stuff. yes- I'm only 12 years younger than my dad was when he passed (same for dh and his dad) and only 32 years younger than my mum was when she passed (and dh is 30 years younger than his mum was). It's sobering - especially with the memories of cleaning out my mum's house still fresh. I've also still been working on my compost pile, I also started a compost bin
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,403
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Apr 21, 2022 16:40:12 GMT
DH just helped me load up the crap in the garage for the dump. It was great to get that pile gone too. I have a lot of old school papers and art projects that didn't make it into the school scrapbooks that I really should go through. My guess is most of it will be tossed. The kids could care less about that big bin.
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Post by tentoes on Apr 21, 2022 18:06:29 GMT
I just turned 65 last month Yeah, I'm 10 years older than that!! I did downsize a LOT when I moved to my son's home, but every time I look at something now, I think "DO I REALLY NEED THAT??" and in reality, all I REALLY need is my dog, my finished scrapbooks and enough clothes to get by on--I still have way too many clothes. (2 closets full), 2 chest of drawers full, plus a couple of boxes of stuff in the barn.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 21, 2022 18:41:52 GMT
I'm in the midst of a massive purge of old photographs and made a separate thread for it as organizing photos has been a much-discussed topic here through the years. Right now it's a bit of chaos... but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
I told a friend today that I've wanted to do this for a long time. The key was pulling it all out and getting past the point of no return. There's no turning back now! Lol. The stuff is everywhere! It's time to just get it all done.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 21, 2022 19:14:22 GMT
I told a friend today that I've wanted to do this for a long time. The key was pulling it all out and getting past the point of no return. There's no turning back now! Lol. The stuff is everywhere! It's time to just get it all done. I pulled all of mine out, but never really got started. As a result when the holidays came much of it got put away. Next attempt I'll try to get to the 'point of no return'!
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 23, 2022 11:35:27 GMT
Does anyone else have trouble with extended family questioning your purging? I am able to ignore them, but OMG, stop questioning me!
My mom is sure I am throwing everything away. With her mild dementia, she is hyper focused on what things cost and is sure I am tossing valuable items. I keep telling her I donate everything of value, which I do.
My sister questioned my returning DH's wheelchair and shower seat to the physical therapists. Couldn't my BIL use them? NO! They were on loan to DH. BIL can get his own, if and when he needs them.
My brother wanted to know if I checked with all the in-laws before I trash the old dining room set. It's old and in terrible shape! Trust me, they do not want it.
Rant over...
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 23, 2022 12:13:13 GMT
mikklynn No one questioning me but myself, thankfully. But it's hard when I come across things that mom bought with the intention of "Someday I'll set the table with this nice stuff," but someday didn't come. And then I feel guilt if I don't use it because it's not something I bother with, but know it had value to her. Ugh.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,403
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Apr 23, 2022 12:27:48 GMT
Does anyone else have trouble with extended family questioning your purging? I am able to ignore them, but OMG, stop questioning me! My mom is sure I am throwing everything away. With her mild dementia, she is hyper focused on what things cost and is sure I am tossing valuable items. I keep telling her I donate everything of value, which I do. My sister questioned my returning DH's wheelchair and shower seat to the physical therapists. Couldn't my BIL use them? NO! They were on loan to DH. BIL can get his own, if and when he needs them. My brother wanted to know if I checked with all the in-laws before I trash the old dining room set. It's old and in terrible shape! Trust me, they do not want it. Rant over... Nope I don't get questioned. Again I don't announce what I am tossing either. My kids have only know a mom who purges LOL so this is their normal. Maybe you need to stop telling your family what you are purging?
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Post by Linda on Apr 23, 2022 12:32:15 GMT
Does anyone else have trouble with extended family questioning your purging? I am able to ignore them, but OMG, stop questioning me! My mom is sure I am throwing everything away. With her mild dementia, she is hyper focused on what things cost and is sure I am tossing valuable items. I keep telling her I donate everything of value, which I do. My sister questioned my returning DH's wheelchair and shower seat to the physical therapists. Couldn't my BIL use them? NO! They were on loan to DH. BIL can get his own, if and when he needs them. My brother wanted to know if I checked with all the in-laws before I trash the old dining room set. It's old and in terrible shape! Trust me, they do not want it. Rant over... only DH - he's very sentimental and also is sure he can fix stuff that he has neither time nor skill to fix.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 23, 2022 14:33:46 GMT
And then I feel guilt if I don't use it because it's not something I bother with, but know it had value to her. Ugh. This falls under the same thought that was mentioned on Spongemom Scrappants 's photo thread: You don't need to be the keeper of other people's memories. Those were your mom's wishes and dreams. You have your own and do not have to hang onto her dreams/wishes if you don't want to. Does anyone else have trouble with extended family questioning your purging? I am able to ignore them, but OMG, stop questioning me! The best way to stop that is quit sharing what you are purging. Are they just asking for this stuff on their own (something some of my family would do)? Just say no and continue on. There is just something about 'free' stuff that some people love. They will ask for/take anything and everything - as long as it is FREE! Never mind the condition or need for it. The other thing I find
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Post by Linda on Apr 23, 2022 15:12:18 GMT
I have a thread on the GS board but as it's also decluttering, I'm sharing here as well. I had four partially finished albums with photos my mum had sent me over the years - most layouts were from my very earliest days of scrapping. I ended up consolidating into one album, pulling out a bunch of layouts to toss. Feeling a bit lighter about all that now.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Apr 23, 2022 17:24:26 GMT
I haven't been actively decluttering, exactly, lately, but I find myself very aware of all that's around me, and what is coming into the house. I find that a lot comes in, or comes to, my house without my "permission." Things like restaurant flyers and political ads being stuck in my railing. Junk mail. Even endless school worksheets. And I toss/recycle them as they come, but I'm annoyed by the fact that they are just one more thing I have to touch and handle. And then there's.... I'm startled by the fact that at least half my life is over. It's making me think hard about paving a path of least resistance for my kids, so when I do pass, they don't have an extra burden of cleanup from my stuff. I've also still been working on my compost pile, which if for nothing else, is making me happy that I'm keeping just a little more out of the landfill. I’m only 55 but having just dealt with my FILs stuff last year I am feeling the need to purge. He had most stuff in a storage unit we could walk away from - my husband had told him for years he wasn’t going to go through it but he kept stuff in one then added his parents stuff to it. His apartment was crazy boxes to the ceiling and it was nuts. My husband also helped clean out his maternal grandparents house that was a hoarding situation and a big house. Lots of stuff can’t here. My FIL left a ton of debts and tons of paperwork we at least won’t be leaving that for our DS unless something horrible happens like a long illness. I’m feeling like I want to purge my stuff as we have a lot of stuff. We moved into a larger house snd it’s now stuffed to the gills. I sure if something were to happen to me my husband wouldn’t touch much but if both of us go my son would be stuck with it. He is autistic and doesn’t do change well snd I worry about that. I want to streamline what we have. I also assume at one point we will downsize and would rather spread out the purging vs a frantic one later. It’s going to take years to go through this stuff. I remember how bad it was moving into this house almost 8 years ago after living in our last house 18 years. We purged a lot but we have more than squired what we purged. We like our stuff but honestly should purge about 30%. It would still mean purging when we downsize but it would be nice to live in a decluttering house. My husband says he wants to until I try and declutter stuff lol. How do people deal with spouses that don’t want to get rid of stuff. We have some HD DVDs (version that failed vs blu ray) they haven’t been watched in more than 10 years but he won’t let them go we do still have the machine but it’s not hooked up. A few decorative pieces I have tried to purge the same thing - not family heirlooms or anything just old decore I bought or was gifted 20+ years ago. I’m tired of dusting around them lol. I’m am just working around these to other items but it’s frustrating sometimes.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,403
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Apr 23, 2022 18:24:11 GMT
I haven't been actively decluttering, exactly, lately, but I find myself very aware of all that's around me, and what is coming into the house. I find that a lot comes in, or comes to, my house without my "permission." Things like restaurant flyers and political ads being stuck in my railing. Junk mail. Even endless school worksheets. And I toss/recycle them as they come, but I'm annoyed by the fact that they are just one more thing I have to touch and handle. And then there's.... I'm startled by the fact that at least half my life is over. It's making me think hard about paving a path of least resistance for my kids, so when I do pass, they don't have an extra burden of cleanup from my stuff. I've also still been working on my compost pile, which if for nothing else, is making me happy that I'm keeping just a little more out of the landfill. I’m only 55 but having just dealt with my FILs stuff last year I am feeling the need to purge. He had most stuff in a storage unit we could walk away from - my husband had told him for years he wasn’t going to go through it but he kept stuff in one then added his parents stuff to it. His apartment was crazy boxes to the ceiling and it was nuts. My husband also helped clean out his maternal grandparents house that was a hoarding situation and a big house. Lots of stuff can’t here. My FIL left a ton of debts and tons of paperwork we at least won’t be leaving that for our DS unless something horrible happens like a long illness. I’m feeling like I want to purge my stuff as we have a lot of stuff. We moved into a larger house snd it’s now stuffed to the gills. I sure if something were to happen to me my husband wouldn’t touch much but if both of us go my son would be stuck with it. He is autistic and doesn’t do change well snd I worry about that. I want to streamline what we have. I also assume at one point we will downsize and would rather spread out the purging vs a frantic one later. It’s going to take years to go through this stuff. I remember how bad it was moving into this house almost 8 years ago after living in our last house 18 years. We purged a lot but we have more than squired what we purged. We like our stuff but honestly should purge about 30%. It would still mean purging when we downsize but it would be nice to live in a decluttering house. My husband says he wants to until I try and declutter stuff lol. How do people deal with spouses that don’t want to get rid of stuff. We have some HD DVDs (version that failed vs blu ray) they haven’t been watched in more than 10 years but he won’t let them go we do still have the machine but it’s not hooked up. A few decorative pieces I have tried to purge the same thing - not family heirlooms or anything just old decore I bought or was gifted 20+ years ago. I’m tired of dusting around them lol. I’m am just working around these to other items but it’s frustrating sometimes. I'm surprised your DH isn't more on board with decluttering after having to help clean out other family members homes? I guess I'm lucking that my DH likes a clutter free home. He doesn't really care what I toss unless it's his office, bedroom closet or the garage. Then he wants to have input. Thankfully he is fairly good about keeping those spaces clean.
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Post by Linda on Apr 23, 2022 18:57:08 GMT
How do people deal with spouses that don’t want to get rid of stuff. We have some HD DVDs (version that failed vs blu ray) they haven’t been watched in more than 10 years but he won’t let them go we do still have the machine but it’s not hooked up. A few decorative pieces I have tried to purge the same thing - not family heirlooms or anything just old decore I bought or was gifted 20+ years ago. I’m tired of dusting around them lol. I’m am just working around these to other items but it’s frustrating sometimes. I declutter MY stuff and 'house' stuff that is primarily used by me (ie kitchen/dining room - I'm the cook here). Stuff that's more 'ours'- I check with him first - sometimes he's okay letting it go, sometimes (ok oftentimes) he's not. I don't declutter his stuff without permission. We moved just over a year ago - I purged while packing, he didn't. My stuff was easy to unpack and put away - he was still packing after we had moved into the new house (local move)...and in fact there are STILL some things over at the old house. He HAS been purging while unpacking - not a lot but some. He's justified keeping a lot of stuff because he had plans for it once we had the space - he has the space now and he's realising that he has more plans than time/space and that some stuff hasn't aged well or stored well. It's a slow process... we moved some boxes that hadn't been unpacked from the previous move (in 2008) so I'll take what progress I can. I also talk through MY process out loud more - I don't think he ever really learnt some of the decluttering skills. So I'll look at something in the store and decide out loud that I don't need to buy it because I have sufficient already (or my storage for it is already full) or that I'll see if I have space for it and then come back if I decide i still want it. I'll mention that now I bought a new ____, I'm going to toss/pass along/donate the old ____. I'll talk about how I go through my desk drawer every month and file/toss/deal with...and so on.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Apr 23, 2022 19:09:31 GMT
Kitchen stuff snd my stuff I don’t mention to DH but decorative stuff I will snd I won’t touch his stuff. It’s not a lot of stuff but stuff I would prefer to go. He also has several boxes of rags. I would love to purge at least one box from the garage but he had claimed them so … I guess if everything else was purged I would push more. I have gone through a couple coat closets today and purged and reorganized them. They still need work but look so much better. So at least one large black bag is leaving. I plan to go through our towels and purge a couple of sets to the local animal shelter, a neighbor is collecting them tomorrow. I found a blanket I thought I already purged so that’s the start of that pile. This has been a good week getting stuff out of the house. .
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 23, 2022 19:12:34 GMT
How do people deal with spouses that don’t want to get rid of stuff. We have some HD DVDs (version that failed vs blu ray) they haven’t been watched in more than 10 years but he won’t let them go we do still have the machine but it’s not hooked up. A few decorative pieces I have tried to purge the same thing - not family heirlooms or anything just old decore I bought or was gifted 20+ years ago. I’m tired of dusting around them lol. I’m am just working around these to other items but it’s frustrating sometimes. You just declutter and purge around them and their stuff. It can get annoying as heck sometimes, but my experience is the more you nag the less they are inclined to go along. For DH, the switch finally flipped after the last of our parents passed and we had to go through things. Too much ended up here as well. He just finally realized that the stuff is just that, and once it is gone the memories will still be there. Since your DH has been through this with his grandparents and parents, I wonder if he himself doesn't have hoarder tendencies as that was the family he grew up in and learned those traits. In that case, baby steps. I do have one suggestion for the decorative items you want to purge. Remove those items and seal them in a storage box. Tell him you are just storing them away to have a bit of change in decor. Add a date somewhere on the box, then revisit the box 6-12 months down the road. If the items haven't been retrieved or even missed, point that out to him and let them go. Another thing I did was take all the things he didn't want to let go of and put them in his office and let him deal with it.
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