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Post by busy on May 19, 2022 23:11:05 GMT
BFF came home from work today to discover that the concrete path from their driveway, through the gate into their backyard, up the stairs to the small porch at their back door had been pressure washed. She and DH had been at work and their daughter at school, so she checked their security cameras to see who did it.
It was their neighbor. Who they know enough to recognize on the sidewalk and say hi to, but they don't even know each other's names and have never been in each other's homes. He certainly did not have permission to open their gate and enter their backyard. They don't think he's, like, casing the house to break in - he's lived in the neighborhood for a very long time and is on the older side (probably at least 70). But it's trespassing! It's so effin' weird.
WWYD?
ETA: a little more context because I'm frankly kind of shocked how many people think it's just neighborly lol
It's a 6 foot privacy fence/gate. He can't even see their path or porch to know if it needed to be pressure washed (it didn't - I was just there two weeks ago and it looked totally fine), so it wasn't a case of he was pressure washing something adjoining and just kept going. He didn't do their driveway, which is what adjoins the path. Plus, they have dogs (which he must know, since BFF is usually walking them when she sees him) and they could have been in the yard.
I don't know what I'd do in their shoes, but I sure as heck wouldn't thank him.
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Post by 950nancy on May 19, 2022 23:13:46 GMT
I'd assume he thought he was helping out. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but I would try to get to know him.
I've had so many great neighbors that I tend to think most neighbors are good people. Is it weird? Yes.
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Post by myshelly on May 19, 2022 23:14:42 GMT
I’d put locks on the gates.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 19, 2022 23:17:35 GMT
When we closed escrow we came to the house and both lawns were mowed and bushes were trimmed. To this day, my neighbors trim our bushes. We've tried to help, but they insist. OTOH, dh does all of their tech support. We knew that the old owners hadn't done this. After we got to know our neighbors we realized that he did this for us in order to keep the neighborhood nice. No one had taken care of this house, ever. Normally, I would be annoyed that someone was invading our space, but knowing my neighbor he's just a good soul who has done a lot of stuff like that for us. He takes care of the things that dh doesn't have time to do outside and it's always appreciated. DH had an oblique injury and our neighbor would come around every week and mow our lawn.
IMHO-your friends have suffered an invasion of privacy, but if the neighbor is just a super nice guy maybe cut him some slack and gently ask him to let you know before he enters your yard.
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Post by realm on May 19, 2022 23:18:20 GMT
I'd think he was being nice and did my walkway when he was doing his own. I'd go over and thank him.
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Post by NanaKate on May 19, 2022 23:20:39 GMT
I'd think he was being nice and did my walkway when he was doing his own. I'd go over and thank him. This for sure and if it really bothered my I’d put a lock on my gate. Simple solution. |
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,543 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on May 19, 2022 23:20:40 GMT
I’m assuming he didn’t cause any damage to their property?
I think I’d be inclined to try to appreciate it for what it likely is - simply something nice done by a neighbor who has time to help others. We need more of that.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 19, 2022 23:21:47 GMT
Next time I saw him on street I would ask him about it and ask him not to do it again - mainly bc we are in drought and I’m not a fan of pressure washing. But I wouldn’t seek him out or make a big deal about it.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,456
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on May 19, 2022 23:22:39 GMT
I would assume that he was doing his own yard and thought he'd be neighborly and do theirs too. I would put a lock on the gate.
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Post by mollycoddle on May 19, 2022 23:25:13 GMT
I'd think he was being nice and did my walkway when he was doing his own. I'd go over and thank him. It sounds like he thought that he was being helpful. |
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,068
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Post by teddyw on May 19, 2022 23:27:01 GMT
You know how some people think it’s so satisfying to see the results? Maybe he was caught up in that. Maybe he thought they don’t have time to do it or don’t own a power washer so he wanted to be nice. 🤷♀️
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Post by Megan on May 19, 2022 23:39:18 GMT
There's too much negativity in this world.
I assume he had good intentions and I'd thank him, maybe even drop off a bakery item.
Our society is becoming too closed off to each other and I think we should be nicer to people. I hate toxic positivity so please don't take this as that ... it's just sometimes people are just being nice and we don't need to overthink it. Yeah, he opened a gate - he would have known if you had a dog that could escape so I just don't see the harm.
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Post by librarylady on May 19, 2022 23:47:07 GMT
DH might do something like that--however he would never enter the yard, but might do the walkway and driveway if he was out power washing. (He is 83 and likes to be helpful) I've had to remind him that people want to say OK, not just do some deed that he believes is a good deed.
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Post by librarylady on May 19, 2022 23:48:22 GMT
We had to put a lock on our gate --we looked up from the breakfast table and the woman from 2 houses down had
strangers in the yard giving them a tour of what we had in our flower beds etc.
That woman did not know boundaries!
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Post by monklady123 on May 19, 2022 23:48:25 GMT
Well, my neighbor just mowed our front lawn unasked so I would have said he was being nice. But with your added information it does seem a bit odd.
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Post by MichyM on May 20, 2022 0:16:35 GMT
I'm in the "that's awfully kind of him" camp. However, since it bothers her, she really should just go talk with him to let him know. Nicely of course. ETA: I should add, I was the pressure washer person at our house. It didn't bother my ex enough to do anything about. <---- his "out" about a lot of things  Our front door path ran on the north side of the garage, so it would get a greenish tint over the winter. Darned PNW weather. So, my view of it comes from the perspective of one less thing for me to do. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 20, 2022 0:22:22 GMT
I really think it depends where you live, and what the general community attitude is towards touching another neighbor's property, for any reason.
Where I live, you do not go in your neighbor's yard uninvited.
I would definitely get a lock for my yard gate.
And probably tell the neighbor to please not enter my property uninvited again because it sets off my security alarm (whether I really had one or not).
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Post by peasapie on May 20, 2022 0:26:13 GMT
I am confused. Does she think this old dude has some ulterior motive for doing a nice deed for her? What a world we live in.
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Post by Skellinton on May 20, 2022 0:26:45 GMT
I think going in the back yard crosses the line. Especially since pets could have been there.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 20, 2022 0:28:09 GMT
We have very kind, sweet, and well meaning next door neighbors and I’d be really weirded out if they helped themselves to my backyard while I wasn’t home. We have locks on both of our exterior gates. I wouldn’t cause a big stink with the neighbor but I’d definitely buy locks and a no trespassing sign.
ETA : I recently had to trim back some bushes in our front yard and they were growing over into our next door neighbors property line. I knocked on the door and asked if it was ok if I was in their yard before I started. I wouldn’t just take it upon myself to traipse all over someone else’s property even if I was doing a good deed.
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Post by greendragonlady on May 20, 2022 0:31:07 GMT
We had to put a lock on our gate --we looked up from the breakfast table and the woman from 2 houses down had strangers in the yard giving them a tour of what we had in our flower beds etc. That woman did not know boundaries!  |
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Post by busy on May 20, 2022 0:43:44 GMT
I am confused. Does she think this old dude has some ulterior motive for doing a nice deed for her? What a world we live in. She doesn't think there's some ulterior motive, perhaps possibly being a snoop, but she's also not comfortable with him just letting himself into their yard without permission. Two Peas, where people get righteously indignant if someone parks on the public street in front of their house, and won't answer an unexpected doorbell, but are a-ok with people entering their fenced yard without asking. 🤷♀️🤣 |
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,379
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on May 20, 2022 0:46:35 GMT
When I got behind on the lawn mowing last spring, our retired neighbor mowed the strip of grass in my yard closest to his house (on the other side of his flowerbed) for some reason. Not my whole lawn, just one strip.
Retired neighbor men (I have them on three sides) are really weird about landscaping...
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
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Post by scrapngranny on May 20, 2022 0:59:31 GMT
I’d be damn thankful that is my worst problem.
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Post by mellyw on May 20, 2022 1:32:47 GMT
I’d be weirded out if a neighbor came into my fenced back yard and power sprayed. I’m very, very private and anyone entering my property uninvited isn’t going to get a thank you from me
My front sidewalk, I would extend a thank you, but that’s basically public property
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basketdiva
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Post by basketdiva on May 20, 2022 1:34:47 GMT
Nothing wrong with being neighborly- my husband and another neighbor bring trash cans up from the street to neighbors drive. We all help with snow removal. But never do any us trespass into another neighbor’s yard
I would thank a neighbor that power washed my driveway though.
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Post by katlady on May 20, 2022 1:40:08 GMT
We have a lock on our gate, so he would have to break that to get into our backyard. I wouldn’t like it that he came into my gated backyard, but I would still tell him thank you. Sounds like he was just trying to be helpful.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 20, 2022 1:46:20 GMT
Two Peas, where people get righteously indignant if someone parks on the public street in front of their house, and won't answer an unexpected doorbell, but are a-ok with people entering their fenced yard without asking. 🤷♀️🤣 Hahahaha true!! If I came home to find that my neighbour had cleaned my driveway, I would firstly probably be insulted that they felt the need to do it haha. Then I would assume that they were maybe doing their own and thought they'd be helpful and do mine. BUT I don't have a front fence or gate. If someone had to open a gate (which after your updated OP we now know is a 6' privacy fence/gate) to come onto my property, I would not be comfortable with that at all. |
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Post by bc2ca on May 20, 2022 1:47:37 GMT
BFF came home from work today to discover that the concrete path from their driveway, through the gate into their backyard, up the stairs to the small porch at their back door had been pressure washed. Going through the gate is not okay. We and all our neighbors will pull trash cans off the curb/sidewalk into the driveway, pick up stray fliers and put packages out of sight, but going through a gate is a big no unless you are invited in. librarylady, your post reminded me of a friend's parents who used to have people come picnic on their lawn. |
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:22:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2022 1:49:25 GMT
That's a bit too far into my property for me to tolerate.
If I was on good terms with said neighbor, I'd thank him but ask him to please either not do it again or check with us first. And get a lock or a latch that's harder to work/reach.
At our previous house, we were on good terms with the older man next door. One winter, our snowblower didn't work. He cleared our sidewalks without asking. We returned the favor when he and his wife were down with covid. He had gotten a new edging tool and was eager to use it. He edged his other next door neighbors sidewalk (it needed it and she was not able to do it) but he asked us if we would like it if he did ours. DH gave him permission. It's better to ask.
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Our front door path ran on the north side of the garage, so it would get a greenish tint over the winter. Darned PNW weather. So, my view of it comes from the perspective of one less thing for me to do.
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