luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
Jul 22, 2017 4:59:41 GMT
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Post by luckyjune on May 20, 2022 1:50:43 GMT
I'd take him a damn pie and strike up a friendship. Lordy, power washing in the PNW is a green and slimy chore. He would have saved me a bunch of work.
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Post by malibou on May 20, 2022 2:02:35 GMT
It's trespassing and not okay regardless of what his intentions may have been. I would certainly address it with him in a no uncertain terms sort of way.
I'm gobsmacked by the number of people thinking this is no big deal. What if it had been teenager? Someone in their 30s? A "well meaning" neighbor they didn't recognize? Holy cats, what if he picked up a dog poo back there and threw it in their trash? That would normally cause ballistics amongst the peas. But trespassing and doing yard work is okey dokey. 😵😖😲
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on May 20, 2022 2:10:16 GMT
I’d be uncomfortable, but I agree that he thought he was being nice.
On another note, if they could immediately tell it had been pressure washed, it must have needed it, right? Otherwise there wouldn’t be a discernible difference.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,068
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on May 20, 2022 2:13:18 GMT
Going into a 6 ft gated yard is not OK now that you added this. The driveway one time i could overlook.
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Post by busy on May 20, 2022 2:17:57 GMT
I’d be uncomfortable, but I agree that he thought he was being nice. On another note, if they could immediately tell it had been pressure washed, it must have needed it, right? Otherwise there wouldn’t be a discernible difference. Eh, I told that poorly. She didn’t realize it was pressure washed at first - but the path and porch were wet and it hadn’t rained. She was concerned there was a leak or something and checked the cameras. That’s when she saw the neighbor pressure washing.
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Post by Zee on May 20, 2022 2:19:20 GMT
I'd think he was being nice and did my walkway when he was doing his own. I'd go over and thank him. This for sure and if it really bothered my I’d put a lock on my gate. Simple solution. This. My neighbor used to mow our back yard because he just loved to mow. Never occurred to me to get upset.
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Post by Laurie on May 20, 2022 2:42:24 GMT
It would bother me that they came in to my fenced in yard. However, not enough for me to do anything about it.
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Post by elaine on May 20, 2022 2:59:12 GMT
If it were me, I would thank them. In our cul de sac we often pressure wash each other’s walks and mow each other’s lawns, etc.
But, apparently WWYD isn’t really asking what I would do, but seeking validation for what the OP & her friend would do.
If the OP and her friend are bothered, that is fine and an understandable viewpoint. And if that was all that was expressed that would be fine.
I will admit to being slightly annoyed at the “WWYD” in the title - with the question it asks - and then the follow-up push-back and criticism when not everyone answers the WWYD with what the OP thinks they should be thinking & doing. I mean, in that case, why ask? 🤷♀️
If you just want validation, then post “PVM”, not “WWYD”. That is perfectly acceptable. And less frustrating for those who answer.
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Post by busy on May 20, 2022 3:06:00 GMT
If it were me, I would thank them. In our cul de sac we often pressure wash each other’s walks and mow each other’s lawns, etc. But, apparently WWYD isn’t really asking what I would do, but seeking validation for what the OP & her friend would do. If the OP and her friend are bothered, that is fine and an understandable viewpoint. And if that was all that was expressed that would be fine. I will admit to being slightly annoyed at the “WWYD” in the title - with the question it asks - and then the follow-up push-back and criticism when not everyone answers the WWYD with what the OP thinks they should be thinking & doing. I mean, in that case, why ask? 🤷♀️ If you just want validation, then post “PVM”, not “WWYD”. That is perfectly acceptable. And less frustrating for those who answer. I was genuinely interested in what people would do, but I also expected very different responses based on years and years here and how people generally respond to things about private property violations. I'm usually way more laid back than most peas on those things, so was literally shocked that so many think it's no big deal when it bothered me. Elaine, surely after all these years, you think you have a feel for how a lot of threads will go here, right? Are you never surprised? And think maybe you didn't explain it well or give enough context because the peas are going in a very different direction than you expected? I don't know what I would do in my BFF's situation, and she hasn't decided what, if anything, she's going to do. So it was truly a WWYD not a PVM 🤷♀️
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,692
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on May 20, 2022 3:23:24 GMT
I would just assume that he was having fun using the power washer and got carried away. I love the heck out of power washing. I can't really imagine not knowing my neighbors well enough to know their names or if they would mind if I power washed for them though. I've never lived in a place where the neighbors didn't walk in my house with a slight knock and a 'are you naked' after a few months. I got a text today from the neighbor 2 doors down that she took my dogs to walk and was tanning nekkid on my porch so if dh was coming home to tell him to holler or close his eyes (he's working out of town)
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Post by MissBianca on May 20, 2022 3:37:26 GMT
We have new neighbors but they haven’t moved in yet. The grass is so tall it’s gone to seed and I want to mow it for them so bad so they don’t have to deal with the mess and trying to get settled but I’m not doing that until we talk to them first.
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Post by mellyw on May 20, 2022 3:55:51 GMT
We have new neighbors but they haven’t moved in yet. The grass is so tall it’s gone to seed and I want to mow it for them so bad so they don’t have to deal with the mess and trying to get settled but I’m not doing that until we talk to them first. We were lucky enough to move right when Covid shut everything down. So we had to move ourselves, which took much longer than the original plan. We got to our new house one day (we were working at the old one still to get it ready to sell) and found a note on the front door asking if they could mow our lawn, it had just gone over to seed in parts. But most importantly, they left their name, phone number and address and explained they understood the craziness of moving during Covid. We went to their house, thanked them profusely and let them know the lawnmower was now at the house and we’d be mowing it right after we talked to them. I had absolutely no problem with that, and truly appreciated the offer
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Post by MissBianca on May 20, 2022 4:10:50 GMT
We have new neighbors but they haven’t moved in yet. The grass is so tall it’s gone to seed and I want to mow it for them so bad so they don’t have to deal with the mess and trying to get settled but I’m not doing that until we talk to them first. We were lucky enough to move right when Covid shut everything down. So we had to move ourselves, which took much longer than the original plan. We got to our new house one day (we were working at the old one still to get it ready to sell) and found a note on the front door asking if they could mow our lawn, it had just gone over to seed in parts. But most importantly, they left their name, phone number and address and explained they understood the craziness of moving during Covid. We went to their house, thanked them profusely and let them know the lawnmower was now at the house and we’d be mowing it right after we talked to them. I had absolutely no problem with that, and truly appreciated the offer That’s a really good idea, maybe I’ll stick a note on the door this weekend if we don’t see them in person. The other half of the story of course is the old neighbors were just terrible. Their kids thought both houses on either side were theirs for the using. We have 4 people who drive a lot plus deliveries several times a week and I’ve almost hit their kids (toddlers included) because they were in our driveway. We have a blind curve and they played in the trees next to it. They were never supervised. I’m sure the old neighbors told the new family we are awful. I just didn’t want to be liable if someone got hurt, y’a know.
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Post by gar on May 20, 2022 7:32:09 GMT
was tanning nekkid on my porch Why on earth was she on your porch?
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 20, 2022 11:42:21 GMT
I’d say thank you and put a lock on, if it was that important to me. It’s weird, but not enough to go to war over. No one has fences in my area so I don’t really understand the violation, I guess.
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Why
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,168
Jun 26, 2014 4:03:09 GMT
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Post by Why on May 20, 2022 12:06:22 GMT
If I found it was necessary I would try to find a kind way to ask him not to open the gate. I will add that many of us "older" folks just don't "get" all of the whole privacy/boundaries thing so we don't always think of stuff that way. We just didn't grow up or live with those ideas. Neighborhood kids played in other yards, people parked randomly on the street and even scolded the neighborhood kids sometimes. I think we might have drawn the line at nekkid porching though Now I said many not all older folks because I know there are some that had different experiences but it is something to think about. I doubt he meant any harm and would be embarrassed to find he had upset anyone. I actually dislike the term folks" but it seemed to fit here. lol
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:36:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2022 12:34:23 GMT
As he is a long standing neighbour I think he was doing it to be kind/helpful. I would just thank him and if it really worried your BFF then she could gently use the excuse that the dogs might be out at some point and for him not to do it again for safety. Has your friend thought that he might be lonely and this is his ( "odd" maybe to a lot of people) way of trying get to know them better.
Comparing what he has done to any Tom Dick or Harry entering someone's yard is a bit of a stretch IMO.
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 20, 2022 12:43:55 GMT
We have a really good relationship with all of our neighbors. We do all sorts of nice things for one another. Mowing lawns, snowblowing, fixing cars, hanging drywall. All sorts of helpful things. But I can't imagine any of them coming into my backyard to do a good deed unless they asked first. But then again, we all have dogs and you just never know if a dog is out and not feeling friendly.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,408
Member is Online
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on May 20, 2022 12:44:10 GMT
I grew up in a small town and still live in a small town. People help each other out so my 1st thought wouldn't be negative towards my neighbor. If I didn't know him I'd definitely go thank him and try to get to know him better. There are likely lots of scenarios at play in this situation as to why the neighbor did what he did.
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,427
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
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Post by tanya2 on May 20, 2022 12:44:41 GMT
front walkway or sidewalk, yes just being neighbourly. But to go into a fenced backyard & wash a private space - that's a bit odd. Not sure what I'd do about it though. Probably just talk to him to find out why he did it
When I was first married I was out shovelling snow & thought I'd be nice & shovel our elderly neighbours driveway & walkway. She came to the door & bitched me out for being on her property. Last time that ever happened!
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on May 20, 2022 12:51:24 GMT
For those of you who say that you need to address this with the neighbor...why create animosity with a neighbor when there isn't a need to? It's easy to say what you would do but if you have to live next to someone who really doesn't like you, it isn't a comfortable position to be in. If you are really that concerned, put a lock on the gate, thank the neighbor and move on with your life.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on May 20, 2022 12:52:15 GMT
It really wouldn’t bother me in the least. But I also don’t care if someone’s dog walks on my lawn or their kids run through, or lots of other things that upset people. I also think a friendly conversation could be had and maybe there’s something she doesn’t know about the situation. I just wouldn’t be super quick to be upset or even think it’s weird.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 20, 2022 13:03:39 GMT
I would thank him and if it really bothered me I’d mention going forward please don’t open the gate as the dogs could be out there. If it really bothered me, I’d put a lock on the gate. I wouldn’t get worked up about it.
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Post by auntkelly on May 20, 2022 13:06:47 GMT
I’d just assume he’s a nice retired man who has too much time on his hands and wanted to be helpful. If it bothered me that he came through the fence, I’d put a lock on it. I would thank him for power washing my yard, because I do know how important it is for older people to feel useful, and I really would be glad that my walkway had been cleaned.
I would be happy to have an older neighbor like that because, while they can sometimes be a pain, they are going to keep an eye on my house while I’m gone during the day. They’ll notice and give me a call if my dog gets out during the day or if water is running out my garage because the water heater is leaking.
I don’t think my position is inconsistent w/ anything I’ve ever said on here before.
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Post by Really Red on May 20, 2022 13:31:01 GMT
I would weep with joy if my neighbor did that. But I know all my neighbors and love them. I do think it's a little odd he went in the back yard, but I guess I don't see the big deal.
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Post by Really Red on May 20, 2022 13:33:28 GMT
It's trespassing and not okay regardless of what his intentions may have been. I would certainly address it with him in a no uncertain terms sort of way. I'm gobsmacked by the number of people thinking this is no big deal. What if it had been teenager? Someone in their 30s? A "well meaning" neighbor they didn't recognize? Holy cats, what if he picked up a dog poo back there and threw it in their trash? That would normally cause ballistics amongst the peas. But trespassing and doing yard work is okey dokey. 😵😖😲 But it wasn't, was it? If he did all of those things, then there'd be something to talk about. Instead, he cleaned a path. And heck yes, anyone coming into my yard and doing yard work is A-OK with me! FWIW, I couldn't figure out how my back patio was staying so clean when I have woods right behind my house. I finally found out my neighbor was cleaning it weekly for me. I almost cried I was so grateful.
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Post by disneypal on May 20, 2022 13:38:53 GMT
Even reading your "ETA" info, I don't think the neighbor meant harm...sounds like he received a new pressure washer and was having fun with it and decided to continue pressure washing at the neighbors. Honestly, when I saw him next, I would say "I see your pressured washed for us"- she doesn't have to thank him...just acknowledge that she knows he did it.
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paigepea
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on May 20, 2022 13:41:31 GMT
Front yard - being nice
Back yard - weird.
I’d probably lock the gate from now on and let it go. I’d probably say thank you for doing the front yard if the situation arose where they could easily thank him. I’d ignore the back thing and use a lock so I didn’t have to approach him with this uncomfortable situation when I didn’t know his intentions. But I avoid conflict…
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Post by ~summer~ on May 20, 2022 13:59:09 GMT
I’m confused by everyone saying put a lock on the gate. What kind of lock is this? Assuming you go in and out of gate all the time isn’t a lock a total pain? And you would put a lock just bc a 70yo man trespassed once?
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 20, 2022 14:19:53 GMT
We have a really good relationship with all of our neighbors. We do all sorts of nice things for one another. Mowing lawns, snowblowing, fixing cars, hanging drywall. All sorts of helpful things. But I can't imagine any of them coming into my backyard to do a good deed unless they asked first. But then again, we all have dogs and you just never know if a dog is out and not feeling friendly. This is our situation too. At our old house our yard was fenced in with chain link fencing and two gates. We have always had dogs, and that house had a doggie door so they could come and go in and out at will when the weather was good so there could have been a dog outside at any given time on any given day. For that reason I wouldn’t be okay with someone coming into my enclosed, fenced back yard, as some of our dogs have been very protective and/or not very nice to strangers. At one point, a utility worker came into our yard through the side gate (which was always latched and almost never used) to access a utility pole at the back of our yard. The fool left the gate unlatched when he left and our dog got out. After searching the neighborhood for the dog all night and being worried sick, we finally located him at the pound and got him back, but what a nightmare and unnecessary expense. After that experience, we put a padlock on the gates and complained loudly to the utility company regarding their worker’s negligence.
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