When good things happen to crummy people

I know it’s probably happened more often than this, but here goes the one I remember the most, because it truly hurt my husbands feelings at the time.

his good buddy from college and he stayed close. In fact this guy and his wife were in our wedding.   Maybe three years later, he called us and said, hey come up and visit, and bring _____ (thing hubby needed some work done on), we will work on it.  So we go visit for the weekend .

I overheard her saying to her husband that we “sent them over their budget” for food (we took them out to dinner) the first night we were there.   The next morning, they worked on their project…while she told me of how they gamed the system on their house, and several other not so great ways of “making it”. 

hubby and I decided to leave that day, instead of staying, because I was floored that they thought gaming systems was a good idea.   On our way to the car, his buddy said “umm, Pete, that’ll be $80 for my time we put into the project”.  My hubby practically threw the money at him.

she subsequently became some superintendent for a private school. He moved up thru his company pretty quick…I’m still bitter about it.  So much so, that I guess I forgot to let them know that my husband died (17 months ago), so I sent a note three weeks ago to them.   No reply. Go figure.

The person I know is a very unhappy person. She puts on a good act, but is always looking for something better. I try to remember that.

I try not to focus on other's and what good/bad happens to them...but I get you...it seems so unfair. The way I look at it, is they may seem to be getting what they want and things may seem to be going good for them...but in the end, it will most likely come back to them. You may not see it, you may not know how bad things are for them because they will never let the outside world see that.

Oh, this isn't a Trump-thread?
To me he seems to be the ultimate example of this.

But in my personal life I distance myself from those people whose core values differ too much from mine. I do have friends from all walks of life, but straight up criminals or people who pride themselves on cheating the system (and therefore the community), no thanks.

I honestly don't spend a single second thinking about whether others deserve or earned their happiness.

Maybe God keeps giving them a chance to mend their ways. That’s why the creeps live so long and the good die young and live on in heaven!

When my dh and his siblings would complain to their mom about other people having more or doing better etc... she would reply "they are not to be envied." And she was invariably right - there was always a flip side that was darker, uglier and unhappy.

I say that to myself (and said it to my kids) a lot - and it's so true; there's always that other side.

Plus, karma's a bitch.

I find it hard to believe their crumminess has not bit them in the ass at least once. You may not know about it but I’m willing to bet my next paycheck it has happened. You can only outrun your shit for so long before it catches up with you.

I’ve cut those people out of my life and don’t look back. 

In my younger days, I wasted far too many years.....caring about what everyone else thinks, worrying what everyone else has, what everyone else is doing, etc... It was not good for my wellbeing.

I don't begrudge anyone, because I can't be bothered to waste my time and energy on them. I prefer to devote my time and energy making sure I am content and happy.

These days my wellbeing, happiness and being content is my first priority. I don't think it's selfish, I think it's an important priority.
I have more than some, less than others.
I am content and happy with my current phase of life and what I have and where I am at. I don't care about what anyone else is doing or what they have. I don't care what others think about how I live my life.

One thing I have learned (better late, than never), that appearances can sometimes be deceiving.
Just because someone appears to have it "all" big house, fancy car, all the technology things, all the "toys", etc... Some, but not all, may be in all sorts of debt "to have it all".
Some may "have it all" and still be very unhappy and discontented in their heart and soul.
Some have it all and are happy, humble and grateful.
Some have very little and are happy, humble and grateful.

Life is too short, to waste time and energy worrying about what an asshole is doing. 

My mom told me from a young age that "Life is not fair." I think she was 100% right.

I think there are people who are rich, beautiful and very successful in life. They have beautiful kids who adore them and they take great vacations every year. They are also shallow and uncaring and would do just about anything to get ahead even if it is at someone else's expense.

I think I am a fairly nice person, but it might turn out that more bad things may happen to me over the course of a lifetime than will ever happen to those people who were born w/ the silver spoon in their mouths. That's just how life is and always will be, at least in this life.

Even if something bad does happen to those people they are never going to stop and think "Oh, I should have lived a good life like aunt kelly and this never would have happened to me." They are not thinking of me at all. I am letting them take up all kinds of space in my brain and they are not giving me a second thought.

When I start feeling sulky, I try to think of people who are less fortunate than me and how I should be thankful for what I have and concentrate more on trying to help others who are less fortunate. I know it sounds trite, but it works for me every time.

Sometimes we get the raw end of the stick even if we're good people and sometimes awful people get the best stuff, cause they are clever enough and conniving enough to get it. What matters is our attitude about it. I can choose to be happy about the good parts of my life or I can choose to dwell on the trauma and bad stuff. I choose happiness. Maybe that's how I win over the bad people!

Something I've come to realize is that life is really very random.  Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.  I used to think as part of my Buddhism studies that I must have been a really bad person in my former life/lives in order to suffer such things as I have suffered in this life.  But that's not what he was saying at all.  If I was a truly bad person, I would have been punished in the afterlife, not come back to relive again.  What this means in my mind is that it's what's on the inside that makes a difference and I had enough good karma to attempt life again. 

It's not all the random crap that life throws at me, it's how I react to it that counts.  This is what gets me closer to a pleasant afterlife.  This is what truly makes me feel good about the kind of human I am.  And this reaction concept also applies to bad people.  In my mind, bad people don't really have the skill set necessary to endure and rise above.  Otherwise they wouldn't have to resort to bad behavior to make good things happen for them.  

I get being bitter.  I've sat with that feeling many times.  But then I dust myself off and conclude that bad things are going to happen to them too.  And if they don't have the skill set, well then, it's going to make things far worse for them in the long run.  My mission is to make sure that I stay the course.  That I do so with a happy and grateful heart.  That I show kindness to everyone.  And all that means, deep, deep down, I feel really good about myself.   

I don't think I personally know anyone who has made a great life for themselves by being a shitty person. Also, the grass is always greener, and all that.

There are a few people I knew on high school that have done REALLY well for themselves, and if I had made the same choices or investments I could be there too. But I didn't (or, to be practical, couldn't), so I'm not, so it is what it is. I also see a lot of former classmates not doing quite so well. I really don't envy anyone for the life they have, mine is pretty good.