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Post by brynn on Aug 3, 2022 4:55:47 GMT
Wishing for a positive outcome for you.
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Post by mom on Aug 3, 2022 5:49:06 GMT
We have your back! If stooping to his level gets you more $$$ and stuff, please stoop. There is nothing to be gained by taking the high road if it means that he gets to screw you over even more than he already has. Yes!! Go so low you are limboing to the floor if you have to. You did not create this mess and you deserve what is rightfully yours. We support you!
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 3, 2022 11:46:31 GMT
I am sorry. As a person who has handled a lot of trials, it always feels really scary in advance (including for the lawyers -- we mostly settle things!), but what I find is that the trial usually happens because one party (your stbx) is being impossible, and the person being impossible is genuinely surprised to find, at trial, that things go poorly for them! Best of luck. I hope this is how is works for you, freecharlie . Repeat after scrapmaven: His ass is grass and you are the lawnmower! OMG, I love that.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Aug 3, 2022 13:04:25 GMT
good luck! sending positive vibes your way!
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naby64
Drama Llama
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Posts: 6,010
Jun 25, 2014 21:44:13 GMT
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Post by naby64 on Aug 3, 2022 13:58:14 GMT
I am sorry. As a person who has handled a lot of trials, it always feels really scary in advance (including for the lawyers -- we mostly settle things!), but what I find is that the trial usually happens because one party (your stbx) is being impossible, and the person being impossible is genuinely surprised to find, at trial, that things go poorly for them! Best of luck. I hope this is how is works for you, freecharlie . Repeat after scrapmaven : His ass is grass and you are the lawnmower! OMG, I love that. Or go true Beth Dutton: I am the tornado and you are the trailer park! Other than that, just hugs to you!
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,962
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Aug 3, 2022 14:16:30 GMT
Sending positive thoughts your way! You’ve gotten good advice here! Use it to your advantage!
Good luck!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 3, 2022 15:26:30 GMT
Forgive me I am mixing you up with someone else, but aren’t you the one with the cheating spouse who just spent a bunch of cash on a new car? And aren’t you in a community property state? How does he think he won’t have to pay child support? Don’t you have kids under 18? I think going to court might financially be the best thing for you. I hope he gets taken to the cleaners and you get more then you are hoping for. Eff him and eff taking the high road. That boat sailed when he refused mediation. I I am terrible about updating my spreadsheet ![:tongue:](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) , I hope I don’t have you mixed up with someone else. mine was cheating, but didn't buy a car. Once court is over I'll tell you guys all the crap he's done. I am sure there is a lot that you just can't talk about now. I hope your day in court comes soon and then his dick falls off. I hope his side piece gets everything she deserves also.
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Post by tentoes on Aug 3, 2022 15:35:26 GMT
Thinking of you, and hope it goes well for you.
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Post by piebaker on Aug 3, 2022 17:22:48 GMT
Sending thoughts of strength for you and hoping for a positive outcome. Keep your anger up and trust your attorney.
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Post by lurker on Aug 3, 2022 17:41:11 GMT
He's still being a dick? Show him what a strong, confident woman you are. You got this.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 3, 2022 17:49:00 GMT
He's still being a dick? Show him what a strong, confident woman you are. You got this. he's turned into a bigger dick (who knew that was possible). I, on the other hand, have been amicable, taken care of the house,pets, and kids and definitely gotten stronger (literally and figuratively) and more confident
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Post by librarylady on Aug 3, 2022 18:06:36 GMT
I know of 2 cases in my circle and in each case the cheating spouse would not agree to mediation. I think it must be the guilty person's thought that she (both are a female) would not be able to manipulate the mediator so decided to just not agree to mediation. One case is settled and it went against that woman. Second case is still pending.
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Aug 3, 2022 18:43:39 GMT
Prayers, good thoughts, and fingers crossed for you. Even if everything doesn’t go your way, you are still the winner in the eyes of your sons and all the Peas!
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,183
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Aug 3, 2022 18:56:15 GMT
You are being you and his refusal to mediate reflects poorly as all have stated!!!!! BE THE LAWNMOWER!!!
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Post by kkrenn on Aug 3, 2022 19:02:55 GMT
Hugs and positive ass kicking vibes!
Be the lawnmower!
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,921
Location: Sacramento, Ca
Aug 29, 2014 3:09:48 GMT
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Post by gramma on Aug 3, 2022 19:09:40 GMT
I hope once this is done he gets what he deserves. He's worked hard for it - he's earned it. Let's just hope the judge gives it to him. Oh - and don't be shocked if you do not get a final verdict on trial day. The judge may need some time to "consider" just what he's got coming.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
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Posts: 8,324
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Aug 3, 2022 19:23:42 GMT
Repeat after me: YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND I'M THE LAWNMOWER!
Love this!
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Post by birukitty on Aug 3, 2022 19:33:33 GMT
Wishing the best for you during your upcoming trial-no worries, you've got this! We are here for you. So many of us have been there, done that (including me). Listen to our wise words. Now is not the time to play nice. Now is the time to fight! Now is the time to make sure your lawyer knows everything! Every little detail that she needs. Listen to your lawyer's advice. You are a very strong, powerful woman. You are almost there. Just a couple more days and this horrible time will be over. Freedom is ahead for you and let me tell you it is glorious!
And let me just repeat that wonderful phrase: He is the grass and you are the lawnmower!
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Post by Really Red on Aug 3, 2022 22:17:21 GMT
The first thing my elderly (and apparently deceptively mean in court) lawyer told me was the 85% of his fees come from 15% of his cases and those are the cases resolved in court. A good lawyer should tell their client that. I am sorry that your almost X is doing that to you. The stress is unreal.
The good thing is, though, is that most judges see through this behavior. This is their job day in and day out and they know and understand who the "bad guy" is.
Looking back, it is clear to me that I had PTSD from my ex. I had no idea how unhappy I really was until we were divorced and he was (alas temporarily) out of my life. SO SO SO happy. There is not a day - not one single day 13 years later - that I am not thrilled to pieces driving into my driveway and his car is not there. I feel so peaceful.
I hope you find that peace on Friday.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Aug 4, 2022 0:00:56 GMT
Good luck! Rooting hard for you to get everything you deserve...and for him to get what he deserves, too, haha!
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Post by peanutterbutter on Aug 4, 2022 0:33:06 GMT
Good luck, I hope you have a wise judge who ensures you get everything you need.
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Post by librarylady on Aug 4, 2022 1:42:53 GMT
Let us know the date for the court, when it is settled, and we can all send extra karma and prayer for you that day.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,646
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Aug 4, 2022 3:43:06 GMT
Good luck! Sending positive vibes. He sounds like a huge dick. I bet things go your way!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 3, 2024 19:37:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2022 16:52:21 GMT
You’ve got this! I agree with the others…this is no time for the high road. Look where that’s gotten you so far.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 3, 2024 19:37:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2022 16:53:29 GMT
Honestly I want to not have to sell the house. I'd take the equity in the house and leave his 401k alone and he be about $20-$30,000 ahead (well before the marker started to tank) and then split everything else plus maintenance and child support. He doesn't want to pay either cs or maintenance, wantd to sell the house and split the equity (which won't be much after we pay off the solar loan and the realtor... he thinks it will be a lot more than it will be) and keep all his assets. I’m sure he’d love to keep all his assets. Fucker
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,043
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Aug 4, 2022 17:10:10 GMT
I am sorry ex is being a pain. Best of luck to you. I hope things turn out better than you think.
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