Rude or not?

I'll also say to actually address the OP - I would never expect my husband to let me know when he's heading home other than dinner planning and don't track him - BUT if there is an unusual situation where I'm concerned - in our situation bad weather - I've asked him to text me when he's headed home and would be annoyed if he forgot.

I really think the real issue here is you were concerned with his safety and he's blowing off your concern as he doesn't want to admit that he's not safe driving at night. All the rest of this of locked doors and showers is just noise imo