The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,347
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Aug 11, 2022 18:09:14 GMT
My sister has her xh in the phone as Critter Teeth
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Post by librarylady on Aug 11, 2022 18:46:31 GMT
I'd just leave his name. Your kids will see it and though they are older and can draw their own conclusions about what a douchebag he is, I still wouldn't want to call their dad names that they could see/hear. This, even though I really, really had a name to offer up.
I don't imagine you will need to call him often. (eye roll)
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Post by littlemama on Aug 11, 2022 19:02:24 GMT
X
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 11, 2022 19:10:19 GMT
Another agreeing with busy. Their was a time in my life ( the worst throes of menopause), when I passive aggressively labeled people I had issues with. After awhile it got confusing for me, as I’d forget what current label they were under. I also didn’t want that to show to the wrong person. And I got some counseling and began to realize I was a big part of the problem and needed to communicate with people or just let the relationship go. I know your experience here is quite different from mine, but if even one instance of your kids’ seeing something childish or hostile that’s one instance too many.
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Post by busy on Aug 11, 2022 19:38:12 GMT
but if even one instance of your kids’ seeing something childish or hostile that’s one instance too many. I have to disagree with this. We're all human and raising our kids to believe that adults somehow never have messy feelings, make bad choices, etc isn't realistic. Screwing up and modeling how to fix/manage our messes is important learning for kids IMO. There will probably be a time when freecharlie calls her xH something or otherwise makes a comment about him in front of her kids that she wishes she could take back. That's just real life. How she handles those times is what really matters, not the "failing" itself. But, I do think something that's ongoing like a derogatory name on his contact entry isn't the way to go.
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Post by mayceesgranny on Aug 11, 2022 21:47:39 GMT
My first instinct was something nasty, but after reading other posts I changed my mind. IMHO it's best to just put his first and last name in your phone like he's just some random man. It remains accurate, but reduces his influence to that of just some insignificant guy.
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Post by PolarGreen12 on Aug 11, 2022 21:50:39 GMT
Douche Canoe
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Gem Girl
Pearl Clutcher
......
Posts: 2,682
Jun 29, 2014 19:29:52 GMT
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Post by Gem Girl on Aug 11, 2022 21:53:39 GMT
Sigh Him Again
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Post by littlemama on Aug 11, 2022 23:03:02 GMT
I would just use 'X' or his name.
As for the "children", if I recall correctly your children are late teens/young adults and fully aware of what your X has been doing. If it would make you feel better to call him asshole or douche canoe, feel free if you feel ok with doing that.
Or hell, ask your kids! They might surprise you with their suggestions.
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