None
Full Member
Posts: 453
Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Oct 2, 2022 21:58:56 GMT
** update** I decided not to pursue this. I have enough complications in my life that I don't need to go looking for more. Thanks everyone for your stories and suggestions**
There are so many, which DNA test would you suggest? Especially to see if you have mystery relatives in the world. Thank you.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Oct 2, 2022 22:14:29 GMT
If you have any privacy concerns, none of them.
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Post by rahnee on Oct 2, 2022 22:50:54 GMT
Definitely Ancestry. It has the biggest database.
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None
Full Member
Posts: 453
Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Oct 2, 2022 23:03:20 GMT
If you have any privacy concerns, none of them. can you give an example please? I appreciate it. |
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Post by Zee on Oct 2, 2022 23:04:56 GMT
If you have any privacy concerns, none of them. can you give an example please? I appreciate it. Mystery Relatives, for one. No thanks |
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903 
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Post by tracylynn on Oct 2, 2022 23:09:52 GMT
If you have any privacy concerns, none of them. can you give an example please? I appreciate it. Once you do it, your DNA is in the system and you've given the owner of the company you use broad consent to use the results. They may say they won't sell it (Ancestary has said so in the past) but read all the fine print because you are giving them certain rights. I'm not a conspiracy theory person at all. I feel like there is plenty of me out there in the world (I use Alexa in my home, have carried a cell phone for 20+ years and have gone through TSA and Global Entry background checks). But unless absolutely necessary, I can't see myself giving up my DNA. |
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None
Full Member
Posts: 453
Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Oct 2, 2022 23:13:00 GMT
My bio father walked out on my mom when i was 1. She had to divorce him through the news papers. Sometimes i wonder if i have siblings.
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Post by pjaye on Oct 2, 2022 23:19:35 GMT
Definitely Ancestry. It has the biggest database. Only in America. They were several other companies that started doing this before Ancestry & have bigger databases outside the USA. If you are serious about finding relatives somewhere in the world then you need to put your DNA into several different databases. Also upload to GEDmatch one you've got some results. |
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903
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Post by tracylynn on Oct 2, 2022 23:21:58 GMT
My bio father walked out on my mom when i was 1. She had to divorce him through the news papers. Sometimes i wonder if i have siblings. If you think there's a chance and you really want to know, do it. I would just read about each of them. It's interesting to note that Ancestry was purchased in 2020 by Blackstone - which is an investment capital company. |
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Post by ladyinpink1969 on Oct 3, 2022 5:07:23 GMT
Ancestry and then 23&me. Once you receive your results, if you’d like help to figure out who you dad is, I’m willing to help. I am by no means an expert, I just think genealogy is fun.
Vicky
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Post by rahnee on Oct 3, 2022 11:34:08 GMT
Definitely Ancestry. It has the biggest database. Only in America. They were several other companies that started doing this before Ancestry & have bigger databases outside the USA. If you are serious about finding relatives somewhere in the world then you need to put your DNA into several different databases. Also upload to GEDmatch one you've got some results. Ancestry DNA has a database of 20+ million. The next closest is 23andme with 12million+. Gedmatch has approx. 1.4 million. You can upload your Ancestry results to Gedmatch , Familytreedna and MyHeritage etc. you can’t upload any other tests to Ancestry. If you were doing a second test 23andme is the one to go for. But Ancestry is definitely going to give you the most bang for your buck. |
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None
Full Member
Posts: 453
Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Oct 3, 2022 12:36:00 GMT
Thanks everyone.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Oct 3, 2022 13:59:57 GMT
If you have any privacy concerns, none of them. can you give an example please? I appreciate it. is old (2018) but outlines some of the concerns. |
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Post by quinlove on Oct 3, 2022 14:46:37 GMT
My bio father walked out on my mom when i was 1. She had to divorce him through the news papers. Sometimes i wonder if i have siblings. I was adopted as an infant. Through Ancestry, I found out a lot of bio information very easily. I also signed up for a free trial of Newspapers once I got my results. There was a lot of articles/ pictures that I could see in the old Newspapers. Good luck. |
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Post by papersilly on Oct 3, 2022 17:33:19 GMT
i was talking to DH's cousin-in-law. he said he never wanted to do a DNA test because he was afraid who would come out of the woodwork. he said "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know". fast forward a few years and he finds out he has a kid from a one-night stand 40+ years ago. kid found him on FB. guess he needs that DNA test now.
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Post by Zee on Oct 3, 2022 18:40:59 GMT
i was talking to DH's cousin-in-law. he said he never wanted to do a DNA test because he was afraid who would come out of the woodwork. he said "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know". fast forward a few years and he finds out he has a kid from a one-night stand 40+ years ago. kid found him on FB. guess he needs that DNA test now. The last thing I want is some 40 year old half sibling trying to find me on Facebook. And now that my aunt and cousin did theirs, it would be a lot easier. Ugghh |
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Post by chlerbie on Oct 3, 2022 18:53:30 GMT
Blackstone recently acquired Ancestry. I'd avoid them.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,826
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Post by Rhondito on Oct 3, 2022 18:59:35 GMT
If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do it.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 3, 2022 19:06:47 GMT
I did 23 and me but didn’t make my info searchable so no one could find me.
But through some cousins - we did find out we had another cousin out there. She searched us and contacted us on Facebook.
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Post by Zee on Oct 3, 2022 19:08:56 GMT
I did 23 and me but didn’t make my info searchable so no one could find me. But through some cousins - we did find out we had another cousin out there. She searched us and contacted us on Facebook. See, it pisses me off that I no longer have privacy because of my relatives. I know I could just ignore, but that's not the point. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 3, 2022 19:25:05 GMT
I did 23 and me but didn’t make my info searchable so no one could find me. But through some cousins - we did find out we had another cousin out there. She searched us and contacted us on Facebook. See, it pisses me off that I no longer have privacy because of my relatives. I know I could just ignore, but that's not the point. I’m not sure but I think she found me only because I have some cousins listed on Facebook. She hired a genealogy expert to try to find her relatives and did a ton of research. |
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Post by malibou on Oct 3, 2022 19:29:32 GMT
My mil did Ancestry, why we aren't sure, and through a genealogy expert one of the children from when Dh was a sperm donor in college found him. Thankfully it's the only one so far. She said she had a really hard time finding him and promised not to put it out there that she had.
She and Dh occasionally email each other, she and Ds have A LOT in common.
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Post by Zee on Oct 3, 2022 20:21:20 GMT
See, it pisses me off that I no longer have privacy because of my relatives. I know I could just ignore, but that's not the point. I’m not sure but I think she found me only because I have some cousins listed on Facebook. She hired a genealogy expert to try to find her relatives and did a ton of research. All one would have to do is find my cousins on Ancestry and then find me. Unusual last name, easy to narrow it down. Like I said I could ignore them but with google nowadays it's very easy to find someone with an unusual name. I could take myself off FB but it's really nice to keep in touch with relatives and friends across the country. Oh well...maybe the mystery sibling will never go looking |
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 3, 2022 20:41:22 GMT
Different people use different companies, so if you are intent on finding relatives, I would probably do both Ancestry and 23andMe and then upload to GEDmatch.
Just be prepared that you may find more than you are looking for. I am one of many people who learned this way that my father was not my biological father.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Oct 3, 2022 20:51:26 GMT
If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do it. This. Totally this. ETA - I feel the same way about those #$!& family trees on Ancestry, etc. I’ve been borderline harassed by distant so called relatives because of trees that have exposed my name, married name, spouses name, child’s name and birthdates. |
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Post by pmm on Oct 3, 2022 21:28:15 GMT
I was told when I was 10 or 11 that the man I called dad was not my biological father. I have never had contact with my bio dad or his family, although they were all very aware that I was born and being raised in the area.
I have my bio dad's first and last name and have thought about finding him. Especially now that my mom is gone. I often wonder if I would have a connection with him and any siblings.
I lack a connection to my dad and my brother and have felt that I missed out on having a family.
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Post by melanell on Oct 4, 2022 11:42:21 GMT
I’m not sure but I think she found me only because I have some cousins listed on Facebook. She hired a genealogy expert to try to find her relatives and did a ton of research. All one would have to do is find my cousins on Ancestry and then find me. Unusual last name, easy to narrow it down. Like I said I could ignore them but with google nowadays it's very easy to find someone with an unusual name. I could take myself off FB but it's really nice to keep in touch with relatives and friends across the country. Oh well...maybe the mystery sibling will never go looking Yes, and relatives can also find other relatives even without using DNA testing of any type and without using Ancestry itself as well. Now, of course that's a different story when there is/are adoption(s) involved. But I've had cousins reach out to me with no DNA tests involved, and while I don't go reaching out to strangers myself very often, I've certainly found many, many living relatives through my genealogy work. And while Facebook is one source of info, newspapers are another very big source. I don't think people stop to think how much of their lives can wind up recorded in some fashion in the printed news. Some people are more careful about that kind of thing, now, opting out of providing certain types of traditional announcements to papers, or at least giving out less information. But even when my kids were born there were still papers out there that would print the births announcements including the name of the child; and one can still obtain genealogical info from current obituaries, engagement & anniversary announcements, local interest stories, etc. |
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Post by melanell on Oct 4, 2022 11:47:18 GMT
To answer the OP, I agree that if you are looking for possible relatives, especially in the US, then Ancestry is likely your best bet. I've worked with people who have had both Ancestry and 23 & Me tests done, and while the 23 & Me tests are interesting in terms of the additional info they include, they are far less helpful to me in helping people who are looking to work on their family trees. Now, if you want to go joining any region-specific groups on Facebook, many will ask for GEDmatch info, but as stated above, you can upload your results from Ancestry or 23 & Me to that.  |
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Post by FrozenPea on Oct 4, 2022 15:08:35 GMT
This is a great Facebook group to join. Blaine T. Bettinger is one of the admins and has written several books on DNA and teaches as well. It is a very friendly group. m.facebook.com/groups/237902130006828/ |
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Oct 4, 2022 17:12:27 GMT
I'll concur on Ancestry for the US. Its just the most well-known and most well-used. The caveat I would add is that you can't send messages and use their genealogy hints unless you pay fees, and they are, IMO, rather high if you are just curious. When I was doing research more casually, I would pay for 6 months and then take a break for a while. As a side note, you can allow a member to manage your results if you have a family member who uses it a lot already.
My folks were really concerned about privacy, but since I have already tested, at least 50% of their DNA is already out there - any skeletons in their closet would probably have be discovered through me, my uncles and aunt, and cousins who have tested.
For finding someone, they could come up as a match, but a more likely scenario is that you will have matches that you can't align with a known side of the family that you can use to narrow down the person you are trying to find. I only personally knew my first 8 matches, and I have I have over 7,000 4th cousin and closer matches, and over 85,000 5th and lower. However, the 8 were enough to categorize most other people to the right grandparent(s) tree, and I know enough now that I could go back another generation if I wanted to get more specific. If I was trying to solve a mystery, I could build from the right grandparent to narrow down the options.
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