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Post by mikklynn on Mar 12, 2023 14:53:40 GMT
How frustrating. The goof news it happened there where maybe they can address how he can do better in the future. Hugs, mama.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 12, 2023 18:37:08 GMT
He's not expelled, but he will be disciplined. This is tough love and he's been thriving, so far. This is one step backward, but w/this program he'll take 2 steps fwd, soon enough. He's not perfect, but he's on his way to a better lifestyle. Trust the program.
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Mar 13, 2023 2:14:06 GMT
Thank you everyone for your support! No calls last night that he was melting down . . . common after a huge mistake when we had him at home. Suicide ideation, trips to stabilization center, banging his head against the wall, hitting hard things, you name it. I called to let them know I have medication to help calm him. They did not request it to be brought out, we are only 15 minutes away. seaexplore --he is still in OYCP as he tested negative on his UA for marijuana, so he is on Discipline 3, which I'm not sure what that means. Bridget in MD--it was most likely a charger for an iPad, or other device, not a vape pen peabay --Thank you for the lyrics, God is my strength and power. I am a daughter of the King, but He doesn't always promise that things will be easy.
scrapmaven --You are right, he is not perfect. Thank you for the kind words--trust the program. |
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Post by candleangie on Mar 13, 2023 7:32:47 GMT
In some ways it might be GOOD that he had a goof up while he’s there. No one is perfect and he WILL make mistakes after he leaves that place, just like we all do. It’s important to learn that he can make a mistake and get to other side of it in one piece.
(((Hugs))) I know it doesn’t make it easier to go through but he’s made a decent sized mistake, he’s not melting down, and he’s still working the program. There’s a LOT of silver linings in this cloud.
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Post by Merge on Mar 13, 2023 12:12:01 GMT
In some ways it might be GOOD that he had a goof up while he’s there. No one is perfect and he WILL make mistakes after he leaves that place, just like we all do. It’s important to learn that he can make a mistake and get to other side of it in one piece. (((Hugs))) I know it doesn’t make it easier to go through but he’s made a decent sized mistake, he’s not melting down, and he’s still working the program. There’s a LOT of silver linings in this cloud. This was my thought as well. Learning to recover from mistakes - accept the consequences and keep on going - is a huge and important step. Best wishes to you and your son, OP. |
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Mar 17, 2023 3:37:59 GMT
I received the letters he wrote the night of the incident. The usual "I should die", "I hate me", "no one will ever trust me" full on FASD melt-down emotionally. So hard to read! I called back the night of the incident and gave them a heads up . . . never got a call back. Part of my cadet's claim is he did the right thing and "snitched" on someone who was doing graffiti on the walls, so they tried to get him back by claiming he had the vape cartridge. This may or may not be true. All I know is my heart is aching for him.
He came home on first break just crushing it! We were so proud of him. Now it may be another case of him taking the blame because in his FASD brain that is the easiest quickest way to get things over with. He's done this at school before. Of course we never know the truth!
On the flip side, since I didn't have calls back within the 72 hours of my Saturday calls, I called again yesterday. Still nothing today. So I email and talked to the person in charge of medications, and she went right down and talked with his Platoon Leader. I got a call within the hour. My cadet was in the room, and I go to speak to him. He said things were better, asked if I had gotten the "vent" letter which I hadn't until this evening. But to top it off he is sick with a virus, running 101 temp and ran the mile run yesterday, now will be in sick bay for at least the next 24 hours.
It doesn't matter where he is, once kids figure out he lacks social understanding and executive functioning they will target him.
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Post by SallyPA on Mar 17, 2023 14:34:16 GMT
Thinking of you and your cadet . Hope he is feeling better and able to see the incident with some clarity now and push through. We all make mistakes, no matter our age or abilities!
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Post by quietgirl on Mar 17, 2023 22:03:09 GMT
Oh I'm sorry. I hope he feels better from the virus soon. Plus that he can process what happened so he doesn't slide back any. I hope his platoon leader can sorta look out for him.
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Apr 16, 2023 3:03:13 GMT
Visitation Day was yesterday! Wahoo! He's made it 14 weeks, and seems to be thriving. Visitation Day allowed us to tour the facility, meet with his case manager who talked about her role and the mentors role, meet with all of his teachers, and then meet with his Platoon Leader. He is doing well in school, and is using most of his personal time in the evenings to get his homework done. All of his teachers were complementary. His Platoon Leader as well, with the caveat that he is easily manipulated. Hence the event right after his first break. We have not been receiving much mail at all, and short letters if he did write after the incident. Seeing him for the rest of the day was great! We came home so he could see his dogs (living 15 minutes away has it's perks!) then he, DS23, and DH moved some very heavy tools from the In-law's basement into our small trailer. DS23 went to pick up the pizza order, and we enjoyed a meal with everyone. His second food request was Boba Tea, so DH and I took him downtown and splurged. Yum! He really wanted to go on a bike ride and tried twice, but all his inner tubes are trashed and patched. He spent as much time riding as he did repairing tire tubes. We thought about K1, but he wanted to just chill with us and his brother. His request for dinner? Norwegian pancakes and bacon. Then back to the facility we went. DH did not go with me when I took him back after break, so he did not see the whole check-in procedure. The cadets remove all clothing but t-shirt, skivvies, gym shorts, and socks then stand with their hands behind their head. My guess is that they do this every time they go off campus. Staff checked their uniform and person for contraband. DH felt so vindicated, as we have done this hundreds of times with DS and his addiction issues. Now DS knows it is to keep him safe at OYCP too!
He is so stoked to graduate, he has 6 more weeks until Memorial Day break, then back for 2 more weeks and graduation on June 14th. By that time we will be relocated to our new home in MN. We get to start the moving process on May 5th when we close on the home in MN.
For reference, this is my young man, my Cadet. He is sporting 6 ribbons, and will get two more on the 19th the next day they award ribbons. In his squad only one other cadet had 6 ribbons, many only had 3 or 4. So proud that he is responding well to being clean and sober, knowing that he will do better in life if he does so. This is NOT a treatment program, but works as such because of the regimented structure, and helps the Cadets rewire their brains based on the 8 principles the adhere to a the program. |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,409 
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Post by cycworker on Apr 16, 2023 3:12:28 GMT
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Post by grammadee on Apr 16, 2023 3:17:53 GMT
Congratulations to him for his hard work and progress. Will the program also follow up with him after he graduates, easing him back into civilian life? Or is there a program he can move into in MN when you are there? What with the program ending and the move, there will be alot of change for him to deal with. ((((HUGS)))) to you all.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Apr 16, 2023 3:18:42 GMT
He looks proud. Pleasing you and himself!!
May he continue to do well on his road to the future!
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Post by malibou on Apr 16, 2023 10:21:23 GMT
What a handsome young man. I'm thrilled to hear he is doing so well. I wish him all the success now and after he graduates.
Good wishes for you too on your upcoming move.
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Post by christine58 on Apr 16, 2023 10:53:14 GMT
angel97701. He looks so proud of himself! What are the plans after he graduates ?
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Post by lucyg on Apr 16, 2023 14:33:37 GMT
I’m so happy to see this. Love your post and photo!
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,247
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Post by pantsonfire on Apr 16, 2023 15:16:00 GMT
Happy man who you can tell is very proud of himself! And it is nice to read a good update with positivity from you too!!
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Post by cat2007 on Apr 16, 2023 15:48:50 GMT
Good for him!
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Post by quietgirl on Apr 16, 2023 16:00:44 GMT
Great news! What a terrific update. Very handsome, too.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,158
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Post by teddyw on Apr 16, 2023 16:13:54 GMT
Another good update. So happy for your family and him.
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Post by mom on Apr 16, 2023 16:59:16 GMT
Thats a great update!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 16, 2023 17:14:38 GMT
It would seem this program has been a very good fit for him. So glad to hear he's thriving in it.
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Post by elaine on Apr 16, 2023 18:58:43 GMT
I am so happy to hear this! Thank you for the updates and for sharing the picture. ❤️
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Post by Linda on Apr 16, 2023 20:03:55 GMT
so glad he's doing well. I hope he'll have good support after graduation and the move to keep the progress going
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Post by LilyRose on Apr 16, 2023 20:07:12 GMT
Thank you for the update—I’ve been wondering how things were going. Great update!
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Post by tampascrapper on Apr 16, 2023 21:56:25 GMT
So happy to read your latest update!
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Post by gizzy on Apr 16, 2023 22:05:58 GMT
He looks happy and proud of his accomplishments, as he should. I'm glad to hear he's thriving.
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angel97701
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jun 26, 2014 2:04:25 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Apr 16, 2023 23:26:27 GMT
Wow, thanks for all the encouragement everyone! He technically has one more year of high school. We are moving out of the area so he can have a fresh start, new friends, new HS, new sport teammates. He won't be pigeon holed into what he was before and be manipulated by the same druggie kids. He will have most of his core credits done on his modified (non-standard SpEd) diploma. We hope he will embrace a variety of electives and play all three seasons of sports; soccer, wrestling, and lacrosse. He can go back to his summer job he had at the lake cabin last year, as our new home is 2.7 miles south of our (for sale) cabin. With his FASD diagnosis, we will be working with local programs for job training and transition into living on his own or into a group living situation.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,561
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Post by RosieKat on Apr 17, 2023 2:18:50 GMT
Definitely a great update! It sounds like the clear structure and rules work well for him. He's so lucky to have parents like you who understand as best you can and who try to give him what he needs for success.
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Post by librarylady on Apr 17, 2023 2:34:14 GMT
Glad to hear things are going in a positive manner for him. I wish him success and wish you/his parents many nights of sleep that are free of worry.
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Post by lemondrop on Apr 17, 2023 2:44:40 GMT
So good to hear that things are going well  |
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