Petty and judgmental vent: serial marrier in family

I can sympathize with you - that would be hard for me too. Especially when they are nice people you like!

Does hubby #3 know about #1 and #2?

I have a cousin that is on marriage #5. She always shocks us with another guy. 

She's always been very outgoing and gorgeous. The problem is that she is very hard to live with because it's always HER first. She's very demanding,

She marries very nice guys, 3 are still in the family because their kids are still very involved in our family. 1 child, 3 step children.

Jennifer

My sister has a SIL like that who has been married I think five times. None of her four kids have the same dad. She is currently remarried to the guy she was married to the third time. 🤪 I guess I can’t decide who is nuttier, her or him.

Rather than another husband perhaps she needs therapy to find out why this keeps happening?

I actually couldn't care less about a serial marrier except if they keep having kids. I draw the line bringing kids into that type of life.

Other than being polite when forced to be in the same room with someone like that I wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Not someone that I would have any interest in being associated with and I certainly wouldn't acknowledge the next marriage with gifts or attending the wedding.

I guess I come from a family of serial marriages. All 4 of my siblings and both of my parents have all been married 3 times. 😆😜

I am married to my 2nd boyfriend.

I find this extremely petty and judgy. I was married 3 times by the time I was 24.
1) Long story best summed up by high school/first boyfriend that my parents liked better than me. If you weren’t there, you wouldn’t understand and too much (and too specific) to put on a public forum. Married and divorced by 19 yo. Took a couple years to pay off his debt.
2) Second husband, we were both military. I got sent overseas for 18 months. He cheated. I divorced him. Family: Oh, you were gone for a year and just looking for a reason to bolt.
3) Third- long story. He’s truly the narcissist, gas lighting, greedy, hurtful man that a lot of people seem to think their ex’s are. I stayed married for. 8 years. “FoR THe KiDS.” Someone has to raise his kids, and mine while he is GI Joe great American Hero. Beloved military leader, inspiration and all around GrEaT dAD. The ONLY people who see him as he truly is are his kids, my kids, his dead son, his estranged since we divorced other son. His wife who is putting up with the crap I did for so many years (my kids are mind blown, how similar- my daughter and his oldest son remember and daughter sees it with current wife/kids.) It was hard to pull the plug, also, because of judgy ass people and I actually sort of cared about their opinions. It breaks my heart that my daughter had to bear the brunt of being his mark after we divorced and he couldn’t get his pats on the back from me. My son has grown up seeing his hero steal every dream he’s ever had, and sees his dad for who he is. My family still thinks he’s the greatest guy ever and I’m just jaded lol

Bottom line, YOU love her ex’s. You can f*ck em, ignore them, worship them, feel sorry for them. But you don’t KNOW them and it’s none of your business.

I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man, it’s been 5 years and I love him dearly. I don’t know if I’ll ever marry him after my previous marriages. And even though it’s been 15 years since my last divorce, I know tongues will wag. Because people like you seem to think you have some say in who other people are married to. No one who would put their energy into talking crap about me has their life together in the slightest, probably why they like the ability to get out of their own mind space. Anyway. Get to know him, or don’t, go to wedding or don’t. Withhold celebrating and encouraging their happiness, because God knows there are only so many positive vibes we can put out in the world and you wouldn’t want to run out! We can only care about so many people you know. You know it’s petty and judgy. So stop. Keep your nose in your own relationship.

ETA: you’re so invested in her #2 and liked him so very much that you don’t even know they were divorced and there was a new guy? Clearly he wasn’t that invested in you, or the rest of the family. GTFOH.

Getting engaged is fun and exciting. Being and staying married can be hard work.

Lexica …..

Btw- between my third divorce in 2008 and the beginning of my current 5 year relationship, I was proposed to twice by the men I dated in that 10 year span. Current man and I live together etc, have talked marriage, but I think I’m just too hypersensitive due to my last husband… 15 years ago..

Why is everyone assuming this woman is damaged or that she is with saints? What is the OP even basing her judgement of this woman on? Or the evaluation of her ex’s?? Clearly she barely knows them, certainly has no idea what goes on behind those closed doors

I’m certainly difficult. I require a man that takes care of himself, supports himself. Is respectful to my children, above all. Honest, fun, we have stuff in common, support one another’s outside interests (that 100% don’t include 3rd wheels in the relationship.)

I’m difficult. I won’t tolerate anger issues, passive aggressive behavior, put down humor, whining or manipulating behavior, lying, withholding of information (for reference- my ex husband married his current wife, his 4th, her first) and didn’t even tell her about one of his children. When it came back to bite him in the ass, ex wife insisted he help with the “troubled teen” he told her the son wasn’t his. He didn’t know what was going on. Wife #4, who up til then wouldn’t even speak to me, called ME to ask what the truth was. As I mentioned in my previous post- he’s a gaslighting liar who lied (oooooooh but he’s a great father who is a wonderful man according to MY parents.) My kids are furious that he did that. BTW, they were both raised knowing that young man was their brother… imagine how it truly feels to them to have seen that from their father??

As a quality woman, unwilling to tolerate these behaviors any more, more than willing to call penalty of ending relationships immediately when these red flags pop up, it’s easy to weed out the fuck boys. Quality men don’t play around either. So the fact that she’s been proposed to “so many times” isn’t at all surprising. Really sexist post.

We never know what goes on behind closed doors so I’m not one to judge.

I’m a bit confused over the “we love #2” yet you didn’t know that they had split. The relationship cant have been that close if neither your or your dh didn’t have any contact with him in this time?

I have a very good friend who has been married three times (although not in such a short time frame - her first was in the late 90s). I wouldn't call her a serial marrier, nor be judgemental about her. She is an amazing person though, and it sounds like your DH's niece is not. 

The ones I know, aren't necessarily serial marriers, they are people who don't like to be alone. 

Within days, weeks or months of relationship or marriage ending, they are on the prowl for someone, anyone....just so they aren't alone.
A couple of them, as soon as the word divorce was mentioned, they signed up for dating websites, so they would have someone in reserves...the moment they were free.....and alone.

Barely a break at all, until they were dating, onto the next relationship, getting married again.