samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 5:47:42 GMT
My DD (13 yo) was sent an invitation to a birthday party scavenger ghost hunt in downtown Denver beginning at the Denver Central Library, drop off at 4:30 today. The hunt involves walking about downtown Denver to the Capitol to Molly Brown House and other places over a 2 hour period, 2.5 miles walking distance. Would this be an appropriate avenue for a 13 yo birthday party? Several libraries, which I think this one, have been shut down for drug abuse found in the libraries. Also just saw on the news a protest rally happened at the Capitol. We declined the invite, but I can't comprehend why would you have a birthday party like this? Am I nuts? The invite, not addressed to me, but sent to my DD via text- dropoff at 4:30 and XXX's parents will be there. My DD didn't understand that the parents should have sent me an invite to discuss this.
Update: Found out that after kids were dropped off at the library, it was too cold for a scavenger hunt and went bowling instead. I guess I'll conclude that this was not a well thought out party.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 29, 2023 5:59:08 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent.
I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents.
You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all.
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Post by katlady on Jan 29, 2023 6:00:19 GMT
In general, if the party was at one location (house, restaurant) I don't know if I, as the parent, would expect to get the invite. At 13 years old, the invite would probably go directly to my child. However, this is an unusual party, and I would have expected some communication from the parent regarding route, number of adults present, when and where to pick up, etc. I am not familiar with the area, so I can't say anything about that.
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snyder
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Apr 26, 2017 6:14:47 GMT
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Post by snyder on Jan 29, 2023 6:05:22 GMT
Hell no! It gets dark shortly after 4:30 and I wouldn't walk around that area in complete daylight. The homeless damaged the capitol so bad they had to put a ugly temporary fence around it to keep them from continuing the defacing until they could get it fixed. I'm not sure if the fence is still up, but it was last summer. You are correct, lots of drugs around that area as well.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:07:18 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent. I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents. You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all. This is downtown Denver, not a suburb and night as it's dusk at 5:15. The invite did not say to tell your parents, let us know. Just drop your kid off at the Denver Central Library at 4:30, so my DD thought, yeah, I get to roam downtown Denver for scavenger hunt. This is hardcore downtown Denver, where the rally was tonight.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:11:41 GMT
In general, if the party was at one location (house, restaurant) I don't know if I, as the parent, would expect to get the invite. At 13 years old, the invite would probably go directly to my child. However, this is an unusual party, and I would have expected some communication from the parent regarding route, number of adults present, when and where to pick up, etc. I am not familiar with the area, so I can't say anything about that. The point was the location of the party, as it was walking around downtown Denver at night. Guess I should have left that part out of my original post.
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FurryP
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Jan 29, 2023 6:15:17 GMT
It seems like the party parents did not think this through very well. Even if there were more adults, this is not where I would want my kid to be, especially at night.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 29, 2023 6:15:24 GMT
I wouldn't have let me kid go today because of the protest even though I didn't expect it to get out of hand because of the cold.
Also, it is cold to be out for 2 hours after dark.
Ghost tours are tricky in Colorado. When it is warm, it is light out until 9. When it is dark early enough, it is cold. There's like two month where the light and the temperature go together.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:17:09 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent. I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents. You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all. My post was not about how the invite was sent but the content of the party. Walking around in downtown Denver in the dark in an area that is unsafe. Why would you put your 13 yo in that situation for a bd party? Just to fit in, or their life?
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:22:19 GMT
It seems like the party parents did not think this through very well. Even if there were more adults, this is not where I would want my kid to be, especially at night. They didn't invite the parents. That's also my point. Just drop your kid off at the Denver Central Library.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:25:13 GMT
I wouldn't have let me kid go today because of the protest even though I didn't expect it to get out of hand because of the cold. Also, it is cold to be out for 2 hours after dark. Ghost tours are tricky in Colorado. When it is warm, it is light out until 9. When it is dark early enough, it is cold. There's like two month where the light and the temperature go together. Have you done a ghost tour? It seems really fun. I get that maybe a ghost tour should be done during dark hours, but maybe not for an 8th grade bd party.
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used2scrap
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Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Jan 29, 2023 6:26:27 GMT
I’d have contacted the parents for much more info if my 8th grader had wanted to go, and maybe even offered to help chaperone. The days are getting longer and it’s still dusk here in the Springs until nearly 6 now. 🤷♀️ perhaps there’s a disconnect and they live in the downtown area so don’t quite understand others’ hesitation? It’s definitely a tough age transition from strict parent supervision/staying at parties to not, so tricky navigating for sure. Of course my 8th grader wouldn’t want to leave his X box on a cold Sat night let alone walk around for over 2 hours lol.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 29, 2023 6:26:43 GMT
I wouldn't have let me kid go today because of the protest even though I didn't expect it to get out of hand because of the cold. Also, it is cold to be out for 2 hours after dark. Ghost tours are tricky in Colorado. When it is warm, it is light out until 9. When it is dark early enough, it is cold. There's like two month where the light and the temperature go together. Have you done a ghost tour? It seems really fun. I get that maybe a ghost tour should be done during dark hours, but maybe not for an 8th grade bd party. I'm up in Fort collins, so a bit different. If it is a commercial ghost tour and not a scavenger hunt, they'd be with a guide and likely a group.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 6:35:01 GMT
I’d have contacted the parents for much more info if my 8th grader had wanted to go, and maybe even offered to help chaperone. The days are getting longer and it’s still dusk here in the Springs until nearly 6 now. 🤷♀️ perhaps there’s a disconnect and they live in the downtown area so don’t quite understand others’ hesitation? It’s definitely a tough age transition from strict parent supervision/staying at parties to not, so tricky navigating for sure. Of course my 8th grader wouldn’t want to leave his X box on a cold Sat night let alone walk around for over 2 hours lol. Totally dark at 5:30 and host lives near us. The parents did not contact me for this event. Have you ever walked the streets in downtown Denver? It's not suburbia.
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Jan 29, 2023 7:00:37 GMT
Is this an official tour group event? Or something the parent is putting together? Either way I wouldn’t want my 13 year old downtown in the evening. A group of 13 year olds don’t always make the best decisions so the only way I would be comfortable with it is if there were many chaperones and small groups.
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FurryP
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Post by FurryP on Jan 29, 2023 7:01:21 GMT
It seems like the party parents did not think this through very well. Even if there were more adults, this is not where I would want my kid to be, especially at night. They didn't invite the parents. That's also my point. Just drop your kid off at the Denver Central Library. Oh I know. But myshelly mentioned the possibility of sending an adult with the group. Either way, I don't know the area and went based on the info you posted. I agree with declining the invitation.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 7:23:40 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent. I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents. You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all. did you not realize this was an extraordinary invite that my child would walk in a downtown city in the dark in a suspect area? Guess that part of my post was diminished
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Post by peasapie on Jan 29, 2023 7:53:07 GMT
Not a good 8th grade party idea based on your description, and I would have nixed it as well. There were certain parties or dances my daughter wanted to attend that I said no to, and you get to make that call. Your daughter needs to accept that there will be things you deem unsafe and that no means no.
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samantha25
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Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 29, 2023 8:04:05 GMT
Not a good 8th grade party idea based on your description, and I would have nixed it as well. There were certain parties or dances my daughter wanted to attend that I said no to, and you get to make that call. Your daughter needs to accept that there will be things you deem unsafe and that no means no. she said ok with our decision, after much discussion. She watched movies with DH, Terminator, and said it was fun. I thought this party put our family in a pickle that was unexpected, especially after Covid,.
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Post by Zee on Jan 29, 2023 8:41:03 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent. I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents. You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all. did you not realize this was an extraordinary invite that my child would walk in a downtown city in the dark in a suspect area? Guess that part of my post was diminished I think you just wanted a PVM if you're not going to accept any other view. We don't automatically know that the ghost hunt or whatever it is is chock full of dangerous drug addicted homeless people, you could have started with that point and left it there instead of asking for comments/thoughts like it says in the thread title. Maybe the parents have a totally different view of the area, IDK. I've only been to Denver once.
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jan 29, 2023 13:36:48 GMT
I've never been to Denver. I do live outside NYC and would probably allow my 13 year old to go to a party like this after I talked to the parents about supervision and my concerns and if I liked what I heard.
Again though, if it was Hartford, CT (I live in CT) I probably wouldn't allow it: the city is kind of dead on weekends and at night when all the people who work in offices go home and I wouldn't even want to be the adult supervising them.
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Post by Linda on Jan 29, 2023 13:48:07 GMT
I've never been to Denver so can't judge whether the location is safe or not.
Once they reach middle school, I've found that social plans are very much made between the kids and not between the parents. Mine know/knew that I would want all the details (time, place, who was driving (if that was involved), cost, supervision) and that we would decide from there.
Not knowing the area -on the face of it, that sounds like a fun party activity if potentially a bit cold for comfort but I would assume kids in Colorado have winter clothes.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 29, 2023 14:58:23 GMT
If you knew the parents, you could have called and asked for more details so you could make an informed decision. With the information provided, I'd have declined as well.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jan 29, 2023 15:08:07 GMT
I don’t think I would be comfortable with the location as you describe it. But the invite going to the child at that age is not odd. My son went to a birthday party last night and the friend texted him about it. They went to an arcade in another town. My son asked me if he could go and described the time and place. I know the parent, though, and didn’t ask for any more details. But I easily could have if I wanted. Just like I assume OP could have. If there isn’t a contact in the original email, have the DD ask for it. In 8th grade they are able to have some responsibility in that way along with talking to their parents about their plans.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jan 29, 2023 15:17:49 GMT
Walking around in downtown Denver in the dark in an area that is unsafe. Why would you put your 13 yo in that situation for a bd party? Just to fit in, or their life? Not a good 8th grade party idea based on your description, and I would have nixed it as well. There were certain parties or dances my daughter wanted to attend that I said no to, and you get to make that call. Your daughter needs to accept that there will be things you deem unsafe and that no means no. I agree with peasapie. This would be an "our family, our rules" kind of decision for me.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 29, 2023 15:47:08 GMT
From that description, I’d be a hard no too. I wouldn’t want to put myself in that situation so there is no way I would let my kid be in that situation having so much less life experience. It doesn’t seem like a lot of thought went into the planning for this party. LOL, knowing my kid she wouldn’t even want to go if it meant walking around outside for 2+ hours in the cold and dark.
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pinklady
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Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Jan 29, 2023 15:52:12 GMT
I’ve been on a “ghost tour” and it was an outside tourist event I paid for. If this was the same thing, it’s an organized event with many people, mostly adults. I can’t imagine it being conducted in an unsafe area. And you could have googled the tour to get more info.
Frankly, I think you are being obnoxious about it and don’t really want discussion, just for everyone to tell you you are right.
You are nuts, the invite should NOT have been sent to you.
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caangel
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Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Jan 29, 2023 16:30:53 GMT
I’d have contacted the parents for much more info if my 8th grader had wanted to go, and maybe even offered to help chaperone. The days are getting longer and it’s still dusk here in the Springs until nearly 6 now. 🤷♀️ perhaps there’s a disconnect and they live in the downtown area so don’t quite understand others’ hesitation? It’s definitely a tough age transition from strict parent supervision/staying at parties to not, so tricky navigating for sure. Of course my 8th grader wouldn’t want to leave his X box on a cold Sat night let alone walk around for over 2 hours lol. Totally dark at 5:30 and host lives near us. The parents did not contact me for this event. Have you ever walked the streets in downtown Denver? It's not suburbia. When you contacted the parents what did they say? I have kids the same age. Invites go between the kids. It's been a weird transition. When parents aren't sure we contact each other, sometimes that means the kids have to get the parents info from their friend. I don't always know my kids friends and their parents at this age. But that doesn't prevent me from reaching out when I have a question (if my kid is invested enough to get contact info, if not that's their choice).
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Post by myshelly on Jan 29, 2023 16:35:57 GMT
I don’t think there’s anything weird at all about the way the invite was sent. I think it’s beyond weird to expect the invite to go to you instead of the person who is actually invited. I absolutely think this is about the time when kids start making/discussing plans amongst themselves instead of through parents. You could have asked questions to clarify. They could have been planning to send an adult with each group and then I don’t see an issue at all. did you not realize this was an extraordinary invite that my child would walk in a downtown city in the dark in a suspect area? Guess that part of my post was diminished Jesus, yes, big city, dark, very scary, I get it. What I am saying is you actually have no idea what the hosts’ plans for supervision and safety were. If there were going to be adults with each group, I don’t think it was a bad plan in and of itself. The party was probably planned before the rally, so that is unfortunate. You asked if this was a bad plan for a party and if the invite was inappropriate. I answered those questions.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jan 29, 2023 17:53:49 GMT
Again, I will never understand why people don't just call the parents and get a full explanation of what the plan for the party is instead of posting on a message board.
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