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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 10, 2014 19:40:15 GMT
Such a broigus over a chair. Your mil sounds a bit unstable. That she favors your dh's other siblings tells a story, too. Keep the chair, don't mention it and she'll either forget all about it or she'll mention it and try and guilt trip your dh every single time he calls her. She manipulates him. Just cause she's mommy doesn't mean she's lovable. Keep the chair and if she nags dh he can simply stop calling.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Dec 10, 2014 19:41:48 GMT
Your DH bought the house with whatever they left in it. He gave them many chances. It is HIS chair. End of story.
It seems like someone is jealous of your creativity. Take that part as a compliment.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253 
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Post by mallie on Dec 10, 2014 19:44:55 GMT
Honestly, in that situation, I would like to think I would tell her to stuff it and keep the chair. But in all actuality, I would most likely give it to her just because she's a petty bitch and I don't want to respond in kind. $600 plus a room full of furniture to coordinate with the chair is hardly petty. |
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Post by 2peaornot2pea on Dec 10, 2014 19:49:49 GMT
That woman sounds like a complete bitch. Tell her she can have the chair if she pays you storage fees for the 20 years your husband kept it stored in the attic, plus the money you spent redoing the chair and purchasing the coordinating pieces.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 10, 2014 20:02:12 GMT
If she doesn't pay the $600.00, I would remove that fabric from the chair. You will need it to cover a replacement chair after all.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Dec 10, 2014 20:21:04 GMT
I think I would give her the chair only because otherwise every time I looked at the chair, it would make me mad. It would be like reliving the angry and hurt over and over. But out of sight, out of mind. My peace of mind is worth more than the chair. I would too. In fact I'd pay to ship it to her so I didn't have to look at it and be reminded of what a b*tch she is any longer than necessary. I don't like negativity in my life and would keep my distance from her. Like someone else said, I'm sure any warm feelings your DH had for that chair are now soured anyway. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 15:26:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 20:21:19 GMT
I wouldn't give her the chair. If she brings it up again, I'd tell her she gave up her opportunity to have the chair a long time ago. You're so sorry she forgot that she told you to get rid of it, but it's too late now. The chair is now part of your house and it's staying there.
I wouldn't be proactive about it and send it to her. And I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for her to pay you for it. It's highly likely that she will never do anything about it. She just wanted to complain.
Don't allow her to spoil something that is meaningful and special to both you and your husband. That specialness and meaning is not negated because she's being a jerk.
Keep YOUR chair and enjoy how beautiful it is. Revel in the fact that it's only because of your talent that your chair and your room are so nice and make you happy.
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Post by peanuttle on Dec 10, 2014 20:26:39 GMT
Thank you all, I feel validated for my feelings towards the situation. I have such a hard time with my in-laws, everything we do, it's never enough. I have posted here before about them. They come into town and don't tell us, they basically ignore our kids, favor the other siblings and grandchildren, etc. I play nice for the sake of DH and my kids, but I am so over it. Everything we do is wrong or another strike against us. You would think we were horrible people.
It is ultimately DH's decision and I am sure he will charge them less than what we put into it and will ship it to them and pay the fees. I can only state my feelings, but it is his parents. His dad called him last week to talk to him and about it and said "mom really wants that chair, I will pay whatever you paid." I think the only reason she wants it is because it is in my house and she doesn't want us to have anything of hers. She really is an awful person. Thank God she lives across the country!
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Dec 10, 2014 20:30:01 GMT
Thank you all, I feel validated for my feelings towards the situation. I have such a hard time with my in-laws, everything we do, it's never enough. I have posted here before about them. They come into town and don't tell us, they basically ignore our kids, favor the other siblings and grandchildren, etc. I play nice for the sake of DH and my kids, but I am so over it. Everything we do is wrong or another strike against us. You would think we were horrible people. It is ultimately DH's decision and I am sure he will charge them less than what we put into it and will ship it to them and pay the fees. I can only state my feelings, but it is his parents. His dad called him last week to talk to him and about it and said "mom really wants that chair, I will pay whatever you paid." I think the only reason she wants it is because it is in my house and she doesn't want us to have anything of hers. She really is an awful person. Thank God she lives across the country! Tell you DH this: In a situation where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, choose the best option for you. You'll get heat either way, but you could at least also have the chair.  |
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Post by mikewozowski on Dec 10, 2014 20:36:57 GMT
can you find another one?
and does anyone else really want to see said chair? i do!
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Post by peanuttle on Dec 10, 2014 20:37:01 GMT
I agree MizIndependent, but at this point, like someone mentioned, it pisses me off every time I have to look at the chair now. I think DH will feel the same way.
She has already tainted things. I think DH is hurt by the whole thing (though he would never admit it) and that is what really irks me.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,446
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Post by amom23 on Dec 10, 2014 20:41:12 GMT
Thank you all, I feel validated for my feelings towards the situation. I have such a hard time with my in-laws, everything we do, it's never enough. I have posted here before about them. They come into town and don't tell us, they basically ignore our kids, favor the other siblings and grandchildren, etc. I play nice for the sake of DH and my kids, but I am so over it. Everything we do is wrong or another strike against us. You would think we were horrible people. It is ultimately DH's decision and I am sure he will charge them less than what we put into it and will ship it to them and pay the fees. I can only state my feelings, but it is his parents. His dad called him last week to talk to him and about it and said "mom really wants that chair, I will pay whatever you paid." I think the only reason she wants it is because it is in my house and she doesn't want us to have anything of hers. She really is an awful person. Thank God she lives across the country!
My opinion is just because you share DNA doesn't make you family. Your inlaws sound toxic and personally I don't let toxic people into my life. I'm really sad for your DH and his inability to make a stand against his parents. It's got to hard to be his wife and watch it all unfold though. I sure hope your DH decides to keep the chair.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 10, 2014 20:43:29 GMT
Well, I hope you seriously will consider carefully removing the outer upholstery fabric before turning the chair over to her.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,109
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Dec 10, 2014 20:43:33 GMT
Oh hell to the no. What a cow. Include "storage" costs for the last 20 years on to the chair. Good grief. I'd probably tell her how much to pay and she wouldn't end up paying so I'd keep the chair. On the off chance she *did* try and pay, I'd say I changed my mind (you know - like SHE did!) and now you are going to keep it.
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Post by krazykatlady on Dec 10, 2014 20:49:21 GMT
Please let your husband read this thread before making a decision
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Post by winogirl on Dec 10, 2014 20:50:32 GMT
I think I would give her the chair only because otherwise every time I looked at the chair, it would make me mad. It would be like reliving the angry and hurt over and over. But out of sight, out of mind. My peace of mind is worth more than the chair. I would too. In fact I'd pay to ship it to her so I didn't have to look at it and be reminded of what a b*tch she is any longer than necessary. I don't like negativity in my life and would keep my distance from her. Like someone else said, I'm sure any warm feelings your DH had for that chair are now soured anyway. Now I'd feel the opposite. Every time I looked at the space formerly occupied by the chair, I'd be reminded how I caved in to that bitch and get pissed. She said she didn't want it and it's been 20 freakin years! No way would I let her have that chair. She relinquished her ownership of that chair a long time ago. I'd tell her to eff off and be done with her. |
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Dec 10, 2014 20:56:43 GMT
I wouldn't let her taint MY feelings about the chair. Every time I sat in it I'd be like "bitch, I got your fucking chair. Ha. fucking. ha."
Then I'd let the dog sleep in it. lol.
If dad is willing to pay, I'd *make* *them* *pay*.
$600, plus shipping, plus a replacement chair. Fuck you, we're now in the $1200-$1500 range.
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Dec 10, 2014 20:59:11 GMT
I'd tell your FIL that you want the $600 refurbishing costs plus 20 years of storage fees.
Actually, I'd just say "no you can't have it. If it was that important to you it would not have been in my house all these years. No. Period".
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Dec 10, 2014 21:00:21 GMT
I'm another that it wouldn't taint my feelings at all about the chair. I would feel more remorse having been manipulated and caving in. Keep the chair and when you sit in it think how you didn't let their toxic shit get to you.
And if your husband does give in and sends the chair, do it only after you've collected what is due you -- what you paid for fixing the chair and what it would cost to get a replacement.
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Post by deshacrafts on Dec 10, 2014 21:03:21 GMT
The ONLY reason she wants the chair is because you made it beautiful. I wouldn't give them the chair. They have had 20 years to retrieve the chair. From what you have said, I wouldn't be surprised that if you give it to her it ends up in SIL's house.
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Post by miss_lizzie on Dec 10, 2014 21:05:45 GMT
I'd want to keep the chair too, and I'd talk to my DH about what giving the chair back would mean. Would his mom's behavior toward you and him change for the better? It sounds doubtful. It would be just one more instance of her getting her way and trampling your feelings. It doesn't sound like you have a good relationship anyway, so giving her the chair isn't likely to change anything.
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Post by elaine on Dec 10, 2014 21:09:53 GMT
I'd tell your FIL that you want the $600 refurbishing costs plus 20 years of storage fees. Actually, I'd just say "no you can't have it. If it was that important to you it would not have been in my house all these years. No. Period".  Do not give or sell her that chair. You decorated around it. She has absolutely no right to it. |
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Post by not2peased on Dec 10, 2014 21:10:51 GMT
wow, she sounds really rotten
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,183
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Post by samantha25 on Dec 10, 2014 21:21:34 GMT
It's a chair. Why would MIL make such a fuss over A CHAIR?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 15:26:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 21:31:56 GMT
It's a chair. Why would MIL make such a fuss over A CHAIR? Because she is a bitch! I've changed my initial opinion. Don't give her the chair. She doesn't deserve it. Tell your DH that giving into her now won't change anything. It sucks having a toxic parent, but if you give up the chair, chances are it will end up at one of his siblings' home. You've given her plenty of chances, and if she really wanted it, she would have made arrangements long ago. She didn't, so don't give in now. Possession is 9/10ths of the law!!!!! Man, I am really pissed off for you guys now! Arrgh! I want to throw something! LOL! Let me at her! PS: I wanna see a picture of the chair too! |
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Post by jonda1974 on Dec 10, 2014 21:33:06 GMT
I wouldn't give it to them. If I did, I would remove the fabric and offer to return it to them in the condition they left it in.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 15:26:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 21:35:59 GMT
I'd donate it to a thrift store before I gave it to her.
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Post by penny on Dec 10, 2014 21:39:23 GMT
This is just something for them (the mom), to create drama over... As soon as she gets the chair the complaining will only change to how they had to pay for their own chair, or how you guys won't store one little chair for them, or how horrible the fabric/refinishing you had done is... She won't be happy either way... Give her the chair and no one's happy, so keep the chair and at least you and your dh will be happy...
Besides all that - 20 years?! Let it go old lady! It's in the family, being cared for, and loved... Let it go...lol
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conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Dec 10, 2014 21:42:17 GMT
You think about how you feel every time you look at that chair. How is she going to feel when it's finally in her home after all those years of yanking her son's chain? Pretty smug I bet. At this point, she's doing this to show you and her son she can call the shots and make you all jump. I think you both need to stand united, confront the obvious and not give in to her demands. What are you afraid of? Could she possibly treat you worse? Or possibly she'll get so mad she'll give you a few years of (silver lining) silent treatment. Because it seems no matter what, she's going to give you grief about this or something else no matter what you do. Keep your home and marriage intact and tell that tyrant NO.
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Post by peanuttle on Dec 10, 2014 21:49:53 GMT
You all have my cracking up! Thanks for the laughs! Believe me, I blew up on DH when he told me. I am not much of a cusser, but good god, I went off. I think he was scared for awhile. She is a total bitch and I really think it's because we now have the chair in our house and are enjoying it. That and I really think she is a rotten, crazy person.
I don't think we can find a replacement. Honestly, it's not my favorite piece, but DH loves it. I will have to snap a picture of it when I get home and see if I can figure out how to upload it.
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My original pea date was November 1999 and my number was 1803
