|
|
Post by Sandie on Dec 10, 2014 21:50:13 GMT
I am quite sure she didn't want the chair because she knew its previous condition. Now that the work is done, of course she wants it. I would maybe talk to your DH about something first...it is probably a very large possibility she will take that chair and it will wind up in the home of one of your DH's more favored siblings. How will he feel then? We went through something similar with DH's family and that is exactly what happened with us. It hurt DH very much.  |
|
|
|
Post by Dictionary on Dec 10, 2014 22:06:35 GMT
I think you have every right to forget to send the chair, let her pursue getting it to her house if she wants it. If she expects you to pack it up and ship it I wouldn't..I would say Oh sorry haven't gotten around to it if she even brings it up..My guess is she will just forget about it until the next time she sees it in your house which doesn't sound like anytime soon
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,097
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Dec 10, 2014 22:11:20 GMT
She is acting like a four year old in tantrum. Say no and move forward.
|
|
Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,956 
Location: North Idaho
|
Post by Nink on Dec 10, 2014 22:17:32 GMT
No way in hell would she be getting the chair. Not after I decorated my house around it. If they had sold the house to a stranger that chair would've been long gone and no way to get back. Consider this the same thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Dec 10, 2014 22:18:47 GMT
I am quite sure she didn't want the chair because she knew its previous condition. Now that the work is done, of course she wants it. I would maybe talk to your DH about something first...it is probably a very large possibility she will take that chair and it will wind up in the home of one of your DH's more favored siblings. How will he feel then? We went through something similar with DH's family and that is exactly what happened with us. It hurt DH very much. I actually think that it probably has very little to do with chair, but, like your dh's family, it is all about power. Some people get their jollies by wielding their power to make family members acquiesce to their unreasonable demands and also to hurt people. I'm guessing the MIL in the OP's case, and maybe in yours, is all about power over and control of those around her. As adults, it is up to us to finally realize that it only works when we play along and let them manipulate and hurt us. The OP's husband can tell his mom that he'll do her the favor of leaving her the chair in his will, but that it is his until then and refuse to discuss it anymore with her. |
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Dec 10, 2014 22:32:38 GMT
I think I would spend my free time buying cheap random chairs at yard sales and sending them to her.
"Oh that's not the chair you wanted?"
"Oh dear, that isn't the chair you wanted, either?"
|
|
gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,330
|
Post by gina on Dec 10, 2014 22:39:12 GMT
Pigs would FLY before I gave my inlaws that chair. Jerks.
|
|
|
|
Post by mirabelleswalker on Dec 10, 2014 22:40:34 GMT
No way I'd give back the chair.
|
|
scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,449
|
Post by scrapnnana on Dec 10, 2014 22:53:27 GMT
Get the $600 from her before you turn over the chair to her. And while you are at it, tell her she doesn't get the chair back till your DH gets his childhood train set back from his BIL.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Dec 10, 2014 23:08:09 GMT
Some of the best righteous indignation EVER on this thread!  |
|
Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
|
Post by Nicole in TX on Dec 10, 2014 23:13:36 GMT
I would tell them you sold it. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 15:21:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 23:19:50 GMT
I would tell them you sold it. Oooooh! I like this! Or tell them that one of the ladies from church came by and sat on it and it broke! You tried to repair it but alas...it was unfixable! |
|
|
|
Post by farmdpea on Dec 10, 2014 23:33:42 GMT
I was going to suggest a nearby Pea stop by and "steal" the chair so that it couldn't be given to your monster in law.  |
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Dec 10, 2014 23:41:56 GMT
Get the $600 from her before you turn over the chair to her. And while you are at it, tell her she doesn't get the chair back till your DH gets his childhood train set back from his BIL. OOOH do it!!! This is a great way to handle it.. |
|
|
|
Post by beachbum on Dec 10, 2014 23:58:08 GMT
I might give it back to her, but it would be in the same shape it was when she had it. Take the pretty upholstery fabric off, you can use it on another chair or cover an ottoman or make pillows (or a voodoo doll???  ) Want your chair, here it is. |
|
|
|
Post by 1lear on Dec 11, 2014 0:01:23 GMT
NO WAY would I give her the chair! I also wouldn't go out of my way to see or communicate with her in the future.
|
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2014 0:09:32 GMT
Screw a check, I'd want cash.
|
|
|
|
Post by bingcherry on Dec 11, 2014 0:14:49 GMT
Do you really want her to win again? I wouldn't allow anyone to treat me that way, family or otherwise. She treats you that way because you allow it. No way in He*l would I be giving that chair back. She had her damn chance.
|
|
|
|
Post by stampinchick on Dec 11, 2014 0:23:59 GMT
If your husband decides to give it to her I would make sure to sit on it and pee first.
|
|
blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,012
|
Post by blue tulip on Dec 11, 2014 0:24:45 GMT
i'll give you $20 if you don't give her the chair. no bullshit, I really want you to keep it that bad lol. (can you tell I have someone like her in my life I'd love to tell off? let me live vicariously thru you!)  |
|
brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
|
Post by brandy327 on Dec 11, 2014 0:37:08 GMT
Don't give her the chair! She had 20 years go go get it. She didn't. She can get over herself.  |
|
LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
|
Post by LeaP on Dec 11, 2014 1:16:55 GMT
 The Peas are in agreement, keep the chair! |
|
|
|
Post by stampnscrap1128 on Dec 11, 2014 1:19:26 GMT
This is the childish, immature side of me: if you give her the chair, be sure to sew a bunch of raw chicken inside the cushion. As it spoils, it will stink so bad. LOL
But the adult side of me says do charge at least $600. If she wants it that bad, she'll pay it.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,276
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Dec 11, 2014 2:30:55 GMT
I hope that you and DH reconsider giving her that chair. It won't keep the peace, it won't make her like you any better, and it sure won't raise you on the popularity list of siblings. All it will signal is that you blinked - so she will know she can continue to treat you/DH like crap. So why should you have to go to the cost and inconvenience of replacing that chair? It means something to your DH. Tell her she will be the first to know if you ever decide to get rid of it. Of course, that should be the day hell freezes over! PLEASE read this quote again - and have your husband read it too! You will change nothing for the better if you give her the chair - because it isn't about the chair; it's about power and control. The message you will send to her and everyone else is that you will do anything to appease her. Do you have children? Is this what you want them to learn about how to let other people treat you? When does your husband quit trying to please her? Newsflash - it ain't going to happen! All she will see is that she can control him and get him to do what she wants. And, I'd bet money if you gave it to her right now, it won't ever get to her house and your husband will have given up something he values in a futile effort to please someone who will never respect him. |
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Dec 11, 2014 2:49:35 GMT
PLEASE DON'T GIVE HER THE CHAIR!!!! i'll give you $20 if you don't give her the chair. no bullshit, I really want you to keep it that bad lol. (can you tell I have someone like her in my life I'd love to tell off? let me live vicariously thru you!) And I'll chuck in another $20 for you to keep it. |
|
|
|
Post by Lexica on Dec 11, 2014 2:55:00 GMT
I have a strong feeling that if your MIL were to regain the chair, you would never hear the end of her bitching about how much you made her pay for it. I would gamble that she would start family rumors that you falsely exaggerated the cost of the chair renovation. She would turn you guys into money-grubbing monsters. She may even reduce any inheritance your husband would have gotten by the chair amount. She sounds as if she cannot be satisfied.
I also wonder if perhaps your SIL also saw the chair and expressed a desire for it. As other peas mentioned, she may get it back just to give it to another family member. And I don't think it would stop with the chair. She would probably request the curtains and pillows you had made to complement the chair since you wouldn't need them any longer.
Not only did your MIL have 20 years in which to ask for the chair, she never used it during your husband's childhood either. So why does it suddenly have this amazing appeal? What changed? Why you updated it and want it, that's what changed. And either she really likes your taste or she just doesn't want her son to be happy.
I hope your husband decides to keep the chair. He is more than entitled to it. He stored it for all those years. He even moved it to your new home. He is the only one to want to actually use this chair,. And the chair belongs to him both legally and morally. I hope you to strongly encourage him to keep it and just move on. He can then be the bad son over the chair instead of being the bad son over charging her for the chair. Because no matter how this is resolved, he's going to be the bad son in her eyes, which is such a shame.
|
|
azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
|
Post by azredhead on Dec 11, 2014 2:55:08 GMT
Yup I'll chip in $20 for you to keep that chair too. She sounds mean and manipulative. She saw he did a great thing. It's really crappy to decide she wants it now.We can start a pea fund ha ha! DON'T GIVE HER THE CHAIR! |
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Dec 11, 2014 3:09:59 GMT
I'll chip in $10 (Xmas time and all)
|
|
ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,083
Location: Valley of the Sun
|
Post by ComplicatedLady on Dec 11, 2014 3:12:39 GMT
This thread is useless without pictures! Keep the chair. It's just a game and if she wins, all that means is there's another round. She'll find something else to play a game about only this time, you maybe blindsided. At least now you know. I also like myshelly's idea of sending her random chairs! That'd be hilarious! |
|
nyandnc
Junior Member
North Carolina
Posts: 67
|
Post by nyandnc on Dec 11, 2014 3:32:33 GMT
If she continues to insist on getting the chair back I would tell her that the fabric is part of your decorating scheme and you will have to find someone who can carefully remove it so you can use it to cover a replacement chair and that she will be getting her chair with the original fabric. I would also tell her the approximate cost of shipping the chair and the phone number of the shippers so she can make her own arrangements with them. I would then just keep enjoying the chair and wait to hear from her again. I am sure that she wants the new and improved chair and not the original fabric.
|
|
Time to get off the internet!
) Want your chair, here it is.
