cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,409 
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Post by cycworker on Dec 20, 2014 21:38:36 GMT
 I'm pretty sure there's a way to approach this without threatening divorce...which would be very much the same type of behavior his mother is exhibiting. I must have missed the original post from cycworker That's just utterly ridiculous. There's no way in hell I would give my husband an ultimatum of divorce over a CHAIR because I recovered it to fit the rest of my decor. Like I said many, many pages ago - if it's at all possible, I let my husband deal with the crazy in his family and do not take it personally. I expect him to do the same. Every antic from a crazy family member is not a hill to die on. There are a few material possessions that are sentimental and meaningful enough that you would have to pry them out of my cold dead hands - I did not get the sense from the OP that the chair fit in that category. This began as a chair that was sentimental to her husband - let him decide if he still wants it after all the drama. I think one of the strengths in our marriage, is that we both try 99% of the time to make life easier for the other - and when it's important, and one of us makes it clear that it's a BFD - we both know that it must really be a big deal. It isn`t about the chair, per se. It`s about the fact that his willingness to hand it over to his mother is yet another example of him putting her (Mom) ahead of his wife. I do like Dali Mama`s suggestion. |
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,566
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Post by MerryMom on Dec 23, 2014 17:03:30 GMT
Update ? ? ?
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
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Post by scrappington on Dec 23, 2014 17:35:23 GMT
I get how he doesn't want that fight. and it doesn't matter what the husband does someone will not be happy with him.
Its not that he's not choosing his wife, he is choosing the easier battle.
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Post by alittleintrepid on Dec 23, 2014 17:56:08 GMT
I think I would spend my free time buying cheap random chairs at yard sales and sending them to her. "Oh that's not the chair you wanted?" "Oh dear, that isn't the chair you wanted, either?" How much fun would that be. Broken lawn chairs, a Barbie-sized chair, a blow up chair, some stinky dogs' soiled bean-bag chair....... |
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Post by songbird on Dec 23, 2014 18:08:20 GMT
I'm not too far from NC. Which city in NC? lol
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Post by lucyg on Dec 23, 2014 23:01:39 GMT
I can't believe this thread is still going. That is all.  |
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doglover
Full Member
Posts: 237
Jun 27, 2014 14:50:33 GMT
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Post by doglover on Dec 23, 2014 23:13:13 GMT
I haven't read all 9 pages, but has anyone suggested giving her back the chair without the fabric? If the fabric matches your decorating, can you take that off and give her back the bones of the chair for her to do with as she will?
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Post by anonrefugee on Dec 23, 2014 23:14:56 GMT
I think I would spend my free time buying cheap random chairs at yard sales and sending them to her. "Oh that's not the chair you wanted?" "Oh dear, that isn't the chair you wanted, either?" How much fun would that be. Broken lawn chairs, a Barbie-sized chair, a blow up chair, some stinky dogs' soiled bean-bag chair....... Imagine a chair version of the pizza delivery or magazine subscription prank. 1-2 odd chairs showing up on the woman's porch each week. As a lover of flea markets I'd have so much fun... |
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Post by alittleintrepid on Dec 23, 2014 23:19:50 GMT
How much fun would that be. Broken lawn chairs, a Barbie-sized chair, a blow up chair, some stinky dogs' soiled bean-bag chair....... Imagine a chair version of the pizza delivery or magazine subscription prank. 1-2 odd chairs showing up on the woman's porch each week. As a lover of flea markets I'd have so much fun... It would be seriously funny! I think we need to harness the power of the peas! |
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Dec 24, 2014 23:08:10 GMT
Having just read through this post I would just have to say that MIL doesn't want the chair I would bet that it is going to be in someone else's lounge room. Maybe a sibling, a cousin but why would MIL want it back at her age other to give it to someone else?
You are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't, but I would not return the chair to her under any circumstances.
You have had possession of it for many many years and it is not as though you have buried it in the garage rotting away.
Good luck with this. I hope your DH enjoys the chair for many years to come.
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Post by jonda1974 on Dec 29, 2014 21:41:07 GMT
Did rotten MIL go home yet, and if so, did the chair go with her?
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Post by *leslie* on Dec 30, 2014 2:36:59 GMT
Wow, I just read through this thread and now I want to know what happened.
Something similar happened when I was a little girl. My uncle and aunt gave my parents an old bed. My mom spent hours sanding, painting and then painting hand drawn designs on it. I used it for a year or so and then my aunt called my mom one day and asked for it back. She needed for my cousin who was ready to leave her crib for a big bed, (and of course she'd seen how my mom had transformed it.) When my dad found out, he was so angry, he took the bed completely apart and threw it in the back of his truck, drove over to their house and threw it on their lawn. He knocked on the door and they wouldn't answer.
That night I got a brand new canopy bed, lol.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 30, 2014 3:03:28 GMT
Wow, I just read through this thread and now I want to know what happened. Something similar happened when I was a little girl. My uncle and aunt gave my parents an old bed. My mom spent hours sanding, painting and then painting hand drawn designs on it. I used it for a year or so and then my aunt called my mom one day and asked for it back. She needed for my cousin who was ready to leave her crib for a big bed, (and of course she'd seen how my mom had transformed it.) When my dad found out, he was so angry, he took the bed completely apart and threw it in the back of his truck, drove over to their house and threw it on their lawn. He knocked on the door and they wouldn't answer. That night I got a brand new canopy bed, lol. I can't believe people asking for shit back. |
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Dec 30, 2014 3:36:55 GMT
Wow, I just read through this thread and now I want to know what happened. Something similar happened when I was a little girl. My uncle and aunt gave my parents an old bed. My mom spent hours sanding, painting and then painting hand drawn designs on it. I used it for a year or so and then my aunt called my mom one day and asked for it back. She needed for my cousin who was ready to leave her crib for a big bed, (and of course she'd seen how my mom had transformed it.) When my dad found out, he was so angry, he took the bed completely apart and threw it in the back of his truck, drove over to their house and threw it on their lawn. He knocked on the door and they wouldn't answer. That night I got a brand new canopy bed, lol. Your aunt and uncle got off easy. I would have painted it a hideous color and *then* taken it apart, driven it to their house, and dumped the pieces on the lawn. |
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Dec 30, 2014 5:31:37 GMT
Wow, I just read through this thread and now I want to know what happened. Something similar happened when I was a little girl. My uncle and aunt gave my parents an old bed. My mom spent hours sanding, painting and then painting hand drawn designs on it. I used it for a year or so and then my aunt called my mom one day and asked for it back. She needed for my cousin who was ready to leave her crib for a big bed, (and of course she'd seen how my mom had transformed it.) When my dad found out, he was so angry, he took the bed completely apart and threw it in the back of his truck, drove over to their house and threw it on their lawn. He knocked on the door and they wouldn't answer. That night I got a brand new canopy bed, lol. Wow, that is quite a story. Unbelievable. What was the follow-up? What happened between your parents and aunt/uncle after this? |
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Post by ametallichick on Dec 30, 2014 9:13:52 GMT
Don't give her the chair! She had 20 years go go get it. She didn't. She can get over herself. I completely agree with this! |
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Dec 30, 2014 13:23:01 GMT
Wow, I just read through this thread and now I want to know what happened. Something similar happened when I was a little girl. My uncle and aunt gave my parents an old bed. My mom spent hours sanding, painting and then painting hand drawn designs on it. I used it for a year or so and then my aunt called my mom one day and asked for it back. She needed for my cousin who was ready to leave her crib for a big bed, (and of course she'd seen how my mom had transformed it.) When my dad found out, he was so angry, he took the bed completely apart and threw it in the back of his truck, drove over to their house and threw it on their lawn. He knocked on the door and they wouldn't answer. That night I got a brand new canopy bed, lol. Your aunt and uncle got off easy. I would have painted it a hideous color and *then* taken it apart, driven it to their house, and dumped the pieces on the lawn. Yep, that thing would have so been covered with drawings of penises. |
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Dec 30, 2014 14:16:05 GMT
Yep, that thing would have so been covered with drawings of penises. Hahahahahaha! |
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Dec 30, 2014 15:12:03 GMT
We need an update!
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Dec 30, 2014 15:34:49 GMT
I agree, I came in here for an update, lol. Like someone else said "she had 20 years to get the chair". |
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Post by scrapcat on Dec 30, 2014 16:58:24 GMT
You really need to read the whole thread.   I was initially on the side of just giving her back the chair, but I am now in the camp of never, not in any way, doing so. But it looks like the OP's DH trumps us all. He is a keeper. Too bad his mom doesn't realize it. I have 3 kids, and I would never show favoritism over one and not the others. And they know it. My heart hurts for your DH. Just realized I was quoted and misunderstood. I was stating in defense of the OP, when I said "your family" I was speaking to the MIL. I think the 'older' generation does get a little more tied to things bcz perhaps they grew up with a more depression child state. As for OP's updates, I feel for you and DH. I would not hand it over, if she wants it she needs to arrange to get it, she probably won't? Family can be so effed up sometimes, it's sad. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 20:30:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2014 17:22:45 GMT
scrapcat Gotcha. Yeah, I wasn't sure if you meant the OP or the MIL. Glad to see you meant the MIL. As for updates, I've got a feeling that the chair is gone. Not only that, no money was given to the OP's DH, and it's now a sore point so she doesn't feel like updating. I know it's just a stupid chair, but it's the whole principle of the thing. Makes me sad and a little bit mad.
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Post by scrapApea on Dec 31, 2014 18:03:59 GMT
Was there and update on this?
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 31, 2014 18:06:14 GMT
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,727
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Dec 31, 2014 18:18:22 GMT
I fear this thread will live on in infamy in those annual "whatever happened with..." posts.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 20:30:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2014 18:29:54 GMT
I saw a chair almost like it at pier one for $500
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 31, 2014 18:31:56 GMT
Would LOVE an update. OP, don't worry if you had to give MIL the chair, with no reimbursement for being reupholstered. We are ALL on your side. We just need to know what happened. |
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Post by peanuttle on Dec 31, 2014 19:42:45 GMT
Sorry for the delay in updating! I have not been on the computer much and had no update until two days ago.
DH delivered the chair to his mom at SIL's house on Monday after I went to work. He did not get money. FIL asked how much and DH said he would send him the total. We will see how this turns out.
Needless to say, I am not happy in the least.
I know DH doesn't want to deal with his mom, but can't help by feel like he's rolling over. I think he is just over it and tired of the drama, which would surly continue if he put up a fight. He is not ready to cut ties with the entire family and I think that's where this would lead. I have to respect his decision. I am not sure what I would do if it were my mom, although that's hard to imagine because she would never pull a shenanigan like this.
I have started chair shopping a bit and saw the one at Pier 1, however the color options don't match our decor. I can see it will be difficult and very expensive to replace. I have found several I like at Lay z boy, but with custom fabric were talking $1200+.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 31, 2014 19:47:11 GMT
Thanks for the update. I can't believe he even delivered it.
Glad you two are standing together on this as I would be pissed beyond belief.
I hope the chair gets infested with bed bugs or breaks on them or doesn't go at all with their decor and somebody tells them that often.
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Post by anonrefugee on Dec 31, 2014 20:01:53 GMT
You and your DH are the winners here. Maybe relationship will get better, maybe not, but you can say you tried everything and hold your head high. But as your fellow Refugee Pea I can go low...I'm hoping for bedbugs or broken legs in another piece of MIL furniture. That way she can't blame it on you |
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I'm pretty sure there's a way to approach this without threatening divorce...which would be very much the same type of behavior his mother is exhibiting. 
