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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 12, 2014 21:54:48 GMT
Yes I try to spend an equal amount on gifts. But I also try to have roughly the same number of gifts for each child under the tree. As DD's gifts are usually more expensive, she ends up getting more little things wrapped up under the tree. Just say I bought her a bikini, I would probably wrap the top and bottom separately. Mind you, the kids probably don't even notice so I probably shouldn't bother.
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 12, 2014 21:57:47 GMT
I spend roughly the same amount, but my kids always get the same number of gifts. We open gifts one at a time and it would be pretty obvious if one kid got more than the other. My kids are teens now, but really don't care about the cost of the gifts. They just want great presents. I I try more to match up gifts--something they really want, a book, something to wear, etc.
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valleyview
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Post by valleyview on Dec 12, 2014 22:09:50 GMT
We have always tried to be pretty equal in giving.
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 12, 2014 22:12:59 GMT
Not usually because there's a 9 year age gap (13 & 4) so ODS usually had more money spent on him and fewer gifts to open plus his gifts are usually smaller. I feel badly because his little pile is so much smaller but it is what it is. He understands. This year it will likely be a little closer in cost because I got some really good deals on ODS' stuff, I'll try to make the quantity close-ish by creative wrapping
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Post by kmcginn on Dec 12, 2014 22:17:12 GMT
Mine are grown and married. I still have to make sure they each get the same number of gifts. It usually works out to be about the same price money-wise, but they count, so I have to make sure they all have the same number to open.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Dec 12, 2014 22:28:23 GMT
I do not make a special effort to gift our children the same amount of gifts, or to spend the same amount of money. It probably usually works out fairly closely, they each receive their one 'most wanted' gift each year and then some other things. Usually the most wanted gift is pricier, but sometimes not. If it happens not to be, I don't try to specifically buy to 'equalize' things out. Same for the number of gifts under the tree. I also don't have a problem with taking one to lunch or dinner, if they happen to be out with me, without feeling I have to bring food home for the other to make it 'fair'. And if I buy something for one when I am out, because they need it or it's on sale, etc. I don't feel as though I have to bring something for the other as well.
It's not a game I ever wanted to start to play.
I think the bigger picture is more important. If one child was always having more money spent on them, always getting to go places and do things, at the expense of the other, that would be one thing. But I have never stressed over trying to keep everything 'fair' and 'equal' all the time. And they've never seemed to keep track or express discontent. This is how I raised my girls. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 12, 2014 22:28:38 GMT
Mine are grown and married. I still have to make sure they each get the same number of gifts. It usually works out to be about the same price money-wise, but they count, so I have to make sure they all have the same number to open. I would be very disappointed in my kids if they counted and even more so if they actually said something while they were comparing. I can’t even imagine me and my siblings doing that and we still spend Christmas together at our mom’s house. She would be horrified if she thought we did that! |
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 12, 2014 22:35:19 GMT
I don't keep track, because it all evens out. One year, one kid got an iPad. The next year, the other kid got a tv. What I do try to do, us wrap the same number of presents. The kids wouldn't complain if it was uneven or anything. It's just something I do. We open one present at a time, taking turns between the two kids.
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freebird
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Posts: 6,927 
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Post by freebird on Dec 12, 2014 22:36:26 GMT
No, but I do try to make sure they are done unwrapping in about the same amount of time. I hate for one to have 12 things to open and the other will have 3, even if I spent the same amount on each. I might double up on like gifts or take some of the extras and put them in the stocking if they are small, or even buy a couple lower items for the short person. Right now my oldest's looks like not much but the 2 tiny gifts under the tree were $40 and there's a $300 rifle in my closet!!
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kelly8875
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 12, 2014 22:47:16 GMT
We try to make sure things are kind of even. But if it doesn't happen that way, it's not a huge deal. The kids don't keep track, because they know it's more about what getting what they want...meaning as long as they're happy with their wish list and what comes from it, it's okay to them.
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Post by myboysnme on Dec 12, 2014 22:52:12 GMT
I don't spend the same amount, but I try to have the same amount of gifts. At least one of the gifts is more expensive, so depending on that item's cost, the other gifts may be much much less expensive.
For example, this year one son is getting an XBox One and game, so his other gifts are things like a hat, a shirt, a wallet. Other son is getting more mid priced gifts, since he doesn't have a big ticket item like that.
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Nanner
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Post by Nanner on Dec 12, 2014 22:57:15 GMT
Yes, I spend around the same on each of my kids.
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Grom Pea
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Post by Grom Pea on Dec 12, 2014 23:13:09 GMT
I haven't had this issue yet but my parents always give me the cash value that my sister's present exceeded mine, eg one year I asked for a tote bag and she wanted an $800 camera. She got her camera but I was given cash. I think for my kids if I don't get equal gifts I could always put the extra money into my kids account.
This is in contrast to dh parents who always favor one sister, paying for her to go to their time share and even buying tickets for her friend. They have never paid for dh. I'm unsure if they've paid for his other sister but I presume not. That seems uncool to me, but they're also really not the greatest people all the time so there you go.
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Kerri W
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Post by Kerri W on Dec 12, 2014 23:20:52 GMT
When they were little I tried to have roughly the same number of gifts and didn't worry about the cost.
My kids are 9, 16, 23 and 23. At this point we spend less on the 23 yos because they are adults who buy what they want and have a SO that also buys for them. (In our particular circumstance, the two oldest also sometimes get gifts from their bio-dad's family which when it happens really throws a wrench in things. The younger two have never said anything but I always brace myself for the fact that they get two Christmas celebrations and to little kids that seems unfair). The younger two are still in the "Santa phase" so I feel like Christmas is still a BIG deal to them.
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Deleted
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Sept 21, 2024 2:40:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 23:23:47 GMT
I try my best to keep the same number of gifts for each of our 4 kids. I also try to keep it comparable in price, but don't calculate exact figures.
I still remember the year, my sister got a shiny, expensive new camera and I got something super cheap and lame (don't recall exactly what it was). I will NEVER do that to my kids.
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Post by Linda on Dec 13, 2014 3:55:08 GMT
No. Life is never fair. sometimes you get more than you deserve sometimes less. When people are giving you gifts, your job is to be grateful. It's not your place to worry about what your brother is getting comparatively speaking. Without overthinking it I'm sure this is the message my family has always given. There are 7 yrs difference between my oldest and second and 10 yrs between my middle child and my youngest. So I'm sure it would also be a pain to try to balance numbers with that age and gift style difference. yes- this exactly. We have a 8.5 year gap and then a 6.5 year gap. Everyone has always been happy with what they've been given and not compared the number/cost of their presents. I think my older ones are well aware that the little one may have more gifts but theirs may well have cost more. I don't stress about it. My mum does though - they all get the same budget and she'll buy a bunch of little junky things to even out the numbers and she'll tell me to remind _____that they also got the magazine subscription and ....she's all stressed about it and I'm like, they really don't care, they got presents, they're happy |
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Post by ntsf on Dec 13, 2014 4:04:05 GMT
no--we give more according to need and not equal. esp since our young adult children..one lives at home, we pay rent for another, and another just took a big loan from us to move overseas. and our niece and nephew...one makes $15 an hour and her brother just got a new job for $70,000...
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Deleted
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Sept 21, 2024 2:40:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 5:01:59 GMT
I don't think anyone willingly hurts their kids on Christmas morning.
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cycworker
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Posts: 4,387
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Post by cycworker on Dec 13, 2014 5:10:15 GMT
I think my mom and dad kept it pretty even amount-wise. Some years I'd have more actual packages under the tree, because I wanted clothes and my brother wanted electronic stuff. I'm 11 years older. We never tended to notice any disparities. The only year when there was some upset was the year my mom bought me my mom went overboard in buying me bras and underwear and I failed to hide my disappointment. I was having a bad Christmas anyway, disappointed about other things, and for me, to get such an imbalance of practical, boring, no thought required gifts vs gifts that are fun & show some thought and effort was the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back.
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Post by Jennifer C on Dec 13, 2014 5:53:30 GMT
I do not make a special effort to gift our children the same amount of gifts, or to spend the same amount of money. It probably usually works out fairly closely, they each receive their one 'most wanted' gift each year and then some other things. Usually the most wanted gift is pricier, but sometimes not. If it happens not to be, I don't try to specifically buy to 'equalize' things out. Same for the number of gifts under the tree. I also don't have a problem with taking one to lunch or dinner, if they happen to be out with me, without feeling I have to bring food home for the other to make it 'fair'. And if I buy something for one when I am out, because they need it or it's on sale, etc. I don't feel as though I have to bring something for the other as well.
It's not a game I ever wanted to start to play.
I think the bigger picture is more important. If one child was always having more money spent on them, always getting to go places and do things, at the expense of the other, that would be one thing. But I have never stressed over trying to keep everything 'fair' and 'equal' all the time. And they've never seemed to keep track or express discontent. This is how I raised my girls. I have tried to raise my kids this way and I'm hoping as they are getting older that it stays this way. Jennifer |
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Dec 13, 2014 15:14:12 GMT
This is how I raised my girls. I have tried to raise my kids this way and I'm hoping as they are getting older that it stays this way. Jennifer My girls are 41 and 39 and they're still that way. Neither cares what I buy the other one and neither feels neglected. I love that they're both so selfless. |
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Dec 13, 2014 15:18:00 GMT
I have always spent the same amount of money on my son's, and I spend the same amount on their partners as well.
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Post by alittleintrepid on Dec 13, 2014 16:28:48 GMT
I don't think anyone willingly hurts their kids on Christmas morning. That would be a whole different thread! My kids both get spoiled but we don't count the number of presents or the cost (in comparison to the other child). I'm pretty sure that my daughter is not tracking how much video games cost and my son has not been watching the flyers for sales on Monster High dolls so how would they know? |
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 13, 2014 16:46:11 GMT
I'm having this problem this year with my grandsons. One is almost 10 and his little brother is almost 3. I got the 10 year old a $300 gift, but that is all he is getting since it was on his wish list and at 10 he understands the impact of a $300 gift.....I have only spent $200 on his little brother on 1 gift for him. I feel like I need to spend another $100 on him to be equal because I know the difference even though the 3 year old doesn't. Then if I do buy an additional $100 on gifts for the 3 yo, I will feel bad that the 10 year old won't have anything else to open. I have for to know what gift for a 3 year old costs $200? |
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Deleted
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Sept 21, 2024 2:40:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 17:02:54 GMT
I try to with my two oldest. They are close in age and they do notice. My youngest does not like opening presents, he rarely plays with toys and is entertained by very simple things. I think I've spent less than $50.00 on him and that's okay.  |
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NoWomanNoCry
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Dec 13, 2014 17:07:45 GMT
I'm having this problem this year with my grandsons. One is almost 10 and his little brother is almost 3. I got the 10 year old a $300 gift, but that is all he is getting since it was on his wish list and at 10 he understands the impact of a $300 gift.....I have only spent $200 on his little brother on 1 gift for him. I feel like I need to spend another $100 on him to be equal because I know the difference even though the 3 year old doesn't. Then if I do buy an additional $100 on gifts for the 3 yo, I will feel bad that the 10 year old won't have anything else to open. I have for to know what gift for a 3 year old costs $200? Not Patti but a girl on my fb got her 3yr old a iPad and iPhone for Christmas among a ton of other things. Yeah...all around the same time she couldn't give me the money she owes me. I'm not suppose to be bitter though lol  |
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Deleted
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Sept 21, 2024 2:40:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 18:01:54 GMT
Definitely try to spend around the same amount.
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Post by scraphollie27 on Dec 13, 2014 18:46:29 GMT
I don't keep track of the amount but I do make sure they have an equal number of gifts and stocking stuffers. If they notice a disparity in cost, they are gracious and well-mannered enough to keep it to themselves because they are getting what they asked for despite the cost.
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Post by evnimom on Dec 13, 2014 21:24:08 GMT
My kids are 4 years apart. I try to keep their gifts to about the same amount of money and quantity but I don't keep track. This year, one is getting a lap top so I'll be getting small inexpensive gifts for him to open. Sadly, a couple of his gifts will be underwear (but they are cute underwear) and socks. I know the kids don't keep track of it themselves and don't feel any favoritism but that's the point.
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Post by maryland on Dec 13, 2014 22:14:15 GMT
My teen girls are like your boys. I can't buy them much for $200. The one takes ballet, and pointe shoes cost $90 every other month (and that's stretching it). My 11 yr. old I can get mre for, but she wants north face this year and they are $90!
I am impressed that you can get a lot on your daughters list for $200!
We spend the same amount on our three kids, but don't get them the same number of gifts. They know how much their stuff costs, so one year they may get 2 gifts, one year it may be 5.
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