Let's hear it -- How old is too old for a baby

I mean... I'm 50 and while I think I'm a pretty young 50, no way would I want to go through the sleep deprivation of the newborn/infant years again.

I have a good friend whose last of three boys finally got married.  They were alone in the house for the first time in many years.  She retired from her job and her husband took a different, less dangerous and demanding job.  They planned lots of travel together.  

Then something happened with their oldest son and they ended up taking in their grandson to raise.  At first it was temporary, but it has turned into a permanent situation for them.  It isn’t something they planned on or thought they could handle, but they are doing a fantastic job of it.  Unless you have an illness, I think you can rise to the demands put on you.  9general you, not you specifically)

I think you would be fine if you chose to take on another baby.  My friends are 10 years older than you are and they are managing just fine.  She says it is entirely different than how it was the first time around but she wouldn’t change it if she could.

If you want to, do it! Age is just a number. I know unhealthy 50 year olds who can’t keep up with kids and 80 year olds who can run circles around me. Your children will love you no matter your age. I also feel like there’s something to be said for still being in the “kid” phase. My daughter is 18, I feel out of the kid phase and wouldn’t want to start over but when she was six I would have welcomed a second child.

Doesn't matter what we think, it matters how you feel. I had my kids very young and that was perfect for me, but so many people wouldn't have done it as young as I was. I see a lot of people having kids later in life, not for me, but they're loving their lives. Only thing that matters here is how you and your dh feel about it.

Well, I had my first at 37 and 2nd at 42. I'm 49 right now and no way in the world would I want to be pregnant again at this age. I don't think I could do the newborn years again and still be working. It would sap my energy so much.

BUT you have a 6 year old and you're doing it. If you feel like you're up for a newborn, go for it. Kids need loving parents. I think that "having" kids at an older age helps to keep people moving and feeling younger.

This is one of those situations where the answer depends on how thought out and implemented the "plan for the worst" actually is. My Mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer at age 60 and died a year later. It was hard enough, as is, let alone with a small child in the mix. If the plan is "hope for the best, and whatever happens, happens," I lean toward no. If the plan includes agreed upon chain of temporary and permanent custody arrangements, and a well of support to draw from, then you guys are better judges of your own day-to-day situation.

There are so many pros and cons, it would be impossible to tell someone I don’t even know what to do. A child finding a loving home with people who what him couldn’t be a bad. It is you and your husband’s decision and no other person’s opinion matters in the least.

Much happiness, whatever you decide.

 I am in the same boat. I love that I can do what I want, when I want.

If it’s something you’ve already talked to your spouse and thought about and you both feel like you’re up to the challenge, go for it. I had my only at 43 and it really did push the boundaries of my energy having a newborn at that age. I’m not sure I could have done it again at 51, but that’s me.

One a related note, how would your kid feel about it? I came from a big family (8 kids) and totally wished I could have been an only child most of the time, LOL. My kid is an only and is perfectly happy with things the way they are, but I never wanted more than one anyway.

ETA: One other thing. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow regardless of age, so I don’t really think that age is a huge factor if you and your DH both feel like you can do it.

Only you can decide how you want your older years to look. What are the contingencies if you and/or your dh are unable to care for the child? Will you be able to continue working until both children are out of the house? How will retirement look for you?
These are all questions you should consider, but only you can decide.

I think giving your child a sibling is one of the best things you can do, especially if you’re older parents.

It's such an individual decision. You are the only one who can decide if it's right for you.

I do like the admonition that you ought to have a clear plan for what would happen to the children if anything happened to you -- but that's true for any child really. My husband and I are both 61. We are named as the legal guardians for two of our grandchildren. Taking over raising a 3 y/o and a 1 y/o would be enormous for us, but we are all in agreement that it would one hundred percent be the right thing for the kids if anything happened to my son and daughter-in-law.

Do you WANT to take on another child?

If you do - then I’d say that the next step is to make sure you have both a solid plan for what your wills would say about who gets custody of said child, and how you will leave funds for said guardian to raise your children to adulthood and provide a helping hand beyond. Make sure you have a strong network of friends and social support in case you or your DH needs significant medical care before said child is 16-17 and can get themselves where they need to go. You’ll need someone to help out with the day to day of raising children during medical treatments.

Good on you for considering it!

If my son were 6 and knowing how bereft he is as an only child now DO IT! Now I am too old at 54 should it happen to me. I think absolutely do it.