Let's hear it -- How old is too old for a baby

I asked Dad who is 81. He said there are a lot of positives for sure but nota slam dunk.

My grandparents from dad died when I was 3mos old and my mother’s parents lived very far away. Sister and I grew up mostly without them. My son grew up in a house with grandparents. The others lived far away. Also my son is biracial.

Al Pacino just had a baby at 87 and Robert Di Niro just had one at 79. So your age seems relatively young to be a new mom again! 😂

That said, no way in hell would I want a newborn (or any kid under the age of 18) again. Life is too much fun at the stage I’m in (young enough to go and old enough that my kids are on their own).

But if you have the desire and ability I say for for it!

I don't think age is a determining factor if you don't want it to be. I know lots of happy children being raised by grandparents. It comes down to if you and your DH feel the desire to raise another child. Only you two and your hearts know the answer to that. Best of luck!

IMO this is not a valid reason to have another child.  There is no guarantee the children would actually even like each other or get along.  I know way too many people (both family and friends) with estranged relationships with siblings.  Have a child because you want one, not to give an existing child a sibling.

But what are the odds that either of them are actually doing any childcare? Also it wasn't their bodies growing and birthing a whole human.
For me it would be a big fat no, every age has been a no to having children to me.

Also 51 and definitely not for me. But I couldn't have done it ten years ago either. But that was due to our dd having many health issues and years and years of being up at night many times. So I was past exhausted then and I'm speaking from that experience. However either way I think past 35 ish would have been too much for me. And dh would agree and probably go younger than that. But we are enjoying being this age and while still dealing with our dd and her issues, having more time to travel and do things etc.

If you feel you have the energy, means and backup support if something were to happen to one or both of you, then go for it.

Children are a lifetime commitment.

If there are any doubts that you can make that lifetime commitment, then the answer should probably be no. It’s not like you can back out on them later.

I had older parents - my dad was nearing 50 when my younger sister was born. I don't think either of us felt that we missed out by having older parents as children. That said - Dad passed in his his early 60s when we were still teens and we lost our remaining grandparent 18m later. But life isn't guaranteed to any of us and how often do we hear of younger parents dying from illness or car accidents etc... I'm grateful for the time I had with my dad and while I wish we could have had longer...I don't think it was bad decision for him to startover on the later side (I have a sister who is 20 yrs older than me).

I'm almost 53 and dealt with infertility for a long time. My kids are 31, 22, and 16. We stopped actively trying in my mid-40s but never prevented and I would have welcomed a pregnancy. I'm 11 days away from calling myself menopausal and at this point in life, I wouldn't be seeking out adoption opportunities but I think if one fell in my lap, I would have a hard time saying no and would probably end up a yes.

There are definite cons of older parent-hood but I think (esp. given the number of grand parents and even great grandparents who are raising children/teens) they aren't insurmontable. Make sure you have good insurance, a plan for retirement (don't college fund at that expense), and a good plan for guardianship in the event it's needed.

Good luck and prayers for discernment and for peace with the decision

I think I'm not qualified to give an opinion. I had my children when I was 24 and 26, so relatively young. My oldest is 23 and I'll be 48 in a couple of weeks. I have been through hell and back with my teens and young adults so the idea of having another child would be traumatic for me. But I think I have PTSD from the past 8 years and I know I could never do it again. I still have a 13 year old stepdaughter who hasn't been through these years yet and I know for a fact that if she goes through some traumas, I am most likely going to have to take a step back because I can't handle this again. However, I am also a bit confused and off balance by the sudden absence of this trauma too. The peace is unsettling for me, even though I don't seek to go back to it. I just don't think at all, though, I would have been able to withstand all of this in my 70s. So for me, I can't do it.

It has been my observation, though, seeing other family members become parents at much older ages that they have a completely different attitude than I do. They waited for their kids, they had years of fun beforehand, they seem to be in more stable marriages than I was and they tend to have more money = more resources to parent their kids than those of us who did it younger. My energy, stamina, and enthusiasm seems to be a trade off for these bonuses to having children later. I think if you are going to listen to any of us, it should probably be the people who did have children later in life because for us who did it early, we finally feel like we have come out the other side and most of us don't want to redo it again.

My grandma passed at 63 and she was the only one I knew. I would never say not to have a kid because of grandparents. My kids had one gma and she never watched them a minute of their lives. My dad didn't either. We never had family (aunts/uncles) watch our kids when they were growing up. There were other people who were involved with my kids. My kids are 27 and 29 and are around almost every weekend. One lives in another city. I think not having other people to watch or parent your kid really makes the immediate family form a strong bond. Of course that is just my experience, but I wouldn't base an adoption on that. 

Absolutely not a valid reason.

I understand where you’re coming from, but my caution to the OP is that I personally wouldn’t put a lot of weight on this. As a first generation American, my grandparents were overseas, and I can count on one hand how many times I saw them. Additionally many families have grandparents that are at least a plane flight away and don’t have their help in raising a family. It’s actually pretty common these days, especially among millennials who are having kids.