Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544 
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Post by Just T on Apr 24, 2024 2:21:33 GMT
I need to vent, but I unfortunately need to be vague. UGH and UGH and UGH Today I discovered one of the most disturbing things I have discovered yet about my stbx. I am blown away yet again by how horrible he can treat me. In June, it will be 40 years since we have been together. Our first date was my 21st birthday. In June, I will be 61. HOW have I spent 40 years of my life with someone who I clearly did not really know. What the hell is wrong with me to have been soooo blind??  I don't know how to move past how horrible he is and what he has done to me. I don't feel like I can give details right now. But OMG. |
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Post by quietgirl on Apr 24, 2024 2:23:58 GMT
I am really, really sorry. I wish I could say something wise, something smart and comforting. You have been thru a lot, and you're a good person. I have to believe he ll get his. I know he will. Take care
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Apr 24, 2024 2:46:13 GMT
Just T you have gotten this far, you WILL make it to the end and have peace!! Do not allow him to take your hope and self. You are a good person, you have the support of your kids and you job. No matter what he does, you WILL be ok!!!
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,466
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Post by edie3 on Apr 24, 2024 3:40:02 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 24, 2024 3:46:24 GMT
Sorry you are having a rough day.
Wishing you peace, healing and comfort. Hugs.
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Post by ILoveToScrapPea on Apr 24, 2024 3:50:23 GMT
I’m so sorry 😞
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Post by mom on Apr 24, 2024 4:05:14 GMT
Girl, whatever issues your ex has have nothing to do with you. They aren't you fault, and you are not responsible for him. I am so sorry he's hurt you yet again. But you will get through this and make it out to the other side. I promise. We are here for you.
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Post by Lexica on Apr 24, 2024 4:07:10 GMT
I think in many cases the changes in people can happen just slowly enough so that we don’t notice. And they are rarely ever up front about what is going on. And as a trusting wife, you don’t really have reason to doubt because they are so very good at hiding things. Whatever it is, you will move on from it.
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Post by ntsf on Apr 24, 2024 4:45:54 GMT
just hugs...
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,732
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Apr 24, 2024 6:18:17 GMT
Vent away. Just hugs from me too.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Apr 24, 2024 6:59:02 GMT
I know something about finding out the person you thought you could trust could instead destroy your life. And you did not see it.
it says everything about them, and the only thing it says about you is that you are a good, decent , trusting person.
Write down this new info, how you feel about it, (use all the words you need to, no one else will see this), and put the paper in an envelope or box. Anytime something concerning him is disturbing your peace, repeat this process. It does help, you can train your brain to leave it in the envelope.
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Post by gar on Apr 24, 2024 7:03:53 GMT
That must be tough, I'm very sorry |
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Post by mommaho on Apr 24, 2024 9:07:14 GMT
Hugs - the best part about your vent is 'stbx'. You don't ever think that the person who said they loved you could change, or just the real person is finally showing their colors but it does happen. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 24, 2024 10:47:03 GMT
I am so sorry. Hugs
It is not you that has something wrong, it is him. How he treats you reflects on him not you.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,544
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Post by anniebeth24 on Apr 24, 2024 12:19:24 GMT
So sorry. I hope it comforts you somehow that we're all with you.
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Post by kristi521 on Apr 24, 2024 12:24:37 GMT
The fact that you did not see him for who he truly is was because he was good at hiding it. He was someone you should have been able to trust and you did because you loved him AND more importantly, he hid his true colors from you. As others have said, that is completely on him. Big hugs, hold your head high, you've got this!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 24, 2024 12:40:54 GMT
I’m so sorry you have to deal with all that. Hang in there girl, you’ve got this and you’ll get through it.
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Post by Tearisci on Apr 24, 2024 12:43:45 GMT
I'm so sorry that this is dragging on for you and you're finding out more and more.
When I went through my divorce, I just kept thinking, how can someone I was with for 20 years treat me so badly? This was the person I was supposed to spend my life with and now I'm not sure who they are. Divorce is just awful and I hope for your sake, you can get past it and find some peace. it does come but 6 years later, I still have those thoughts.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Apr 24, 2024 13:35:48 GMT
I really hope you can shed this snake in June!!!! Thinking of you, and walking by you through this whole awful time! Keep your head up, I just hope the judge really sees how dispicable he is!
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,739
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Apr 24, 2024 14:37:02 GMT
It sucks. Sorry you are going through this. But through this you will get and be better for it. Hugs
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Apr 24, 2024 14:38:46 GMT
Thank you all sooooo much. I wish I could give more details, but I don't feel like I can until this is all over. Every time I think I can't possibly despise him more, it turns out I can. One of the things I found out yesterday is that in 2022, he bought a gun. No big deal, except we have never EVER owned guns, and he has always hated guns. Why does he now own a gun? I wish so much I could afford to move out until this is over, but I can't. Not even close. |
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Apr 24, 2024 14:48:41 GMT
I so hope the light at the end of the tunnel is coming soon. So sorry for all you are going through.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,521
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Post by jayfab on Apr 24, 2024 14:50:07 GMT
(((hugs))) I'm sorry.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Apr 24, 2024 17:05:53 GMT
A few weeks ago, on another really bad day, I ordered this bracelet from an Etsy shop. It had a cord bracelet that really wasn't my style, but I like the phrase. It's been sitting on my desk, and today, I cut the cords off and made my own bracelet. I love it, and if ever I need that particular mantra, it is today.   |
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 24, 2024 17:08:47 GMT
GIANT hugs, Just T. I can't wait until you are finally divorced. He is going to lose his kids over his behavior. I can see that. |
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Post by lurker on Apr 24, 2024 17:30:37 GMT
I am so sorry he is not the man you thought you knew.
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Post by Lexica on Apr 24, 2024 18:08:59 GMT
Ok, maybe I watch too many true crime shows, but his suddenly buying a gun is concerning to me. Are you concerned for your safety at all? You are both in the same house right now, correct?
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Post by quinlove on Apr 24, 2024 18:20:25 GMT
Girl, whatever issues your ex has have nothing to do with you. They aren't you fault, and you are not responsible for him. I am so sorry he's hurt you yet again. But you will get through this and make it out to the other side. I promise. We are here for you. Mom is so correct. What he does, reflects on him. Not you. I know it’s hard to deal with it, over and over. Trust me, I know. Please try to flip your thinking on this. He is the one doing it. He’s the bad one. He can’t break your armor. You are stronger than you think you are. We are always here for you, 24 / 7. ❤️ |
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 24, 2024 18:30:00 GMT
I'm so sorry.. no words of wisdom.. just hang in there! You can always vent to the Peas.
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Post by disneypal on Apr 24, 2024 18:33:20 GMT
I am sorry - I can’t imagine what it’s like to know your husband, who you loved with all your heart, is someone you truly didn’t know.
((HUGS))
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Formerly babyfeverpea 
