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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 13:37:10 GMT
ETA: This post is long. Knowing me you are probably not shocked. But if you just want to answer the header question and skip all my words, have at it. I am looking around me lately and I am wondering if we, as a society, have lost our balance and that has led us to feelings of exhaustion, extreme polarization, poor decision making, and exacerbated mental health issues. Stick with me here because I'm trying to connect the dots in my head and I think this could be a valuable discussion. And yes, I think this might get somewhat political because politics is a part of this discussion, but I'd encourage focus away from taking a side here (if we read the political threads, we probably already know your side) and arguing for the rightness or wrongness of a particular ideology and instead look at an overview of where the extremism is taking us. Hope that makes sense. If anyone could have picked a word of the year for the past 20 years, mine would have been balance. I know it is an offshoot of my bipolar that balance in my mood is something I am constantly sensitive to. Balance in mood feels like I can mitigate my thoughts and feelings in the average way without feeling like my mood, and therefore my actions, are no longer within my control. But until recently, I haven't taken the thought one step further (consciously, maybe unconsciously I have a bit) that balance is necessary in all aspects of our lives. I have thought a lot about my life over the last 25 years. When my kids were young, I can look back and see that balance in parenting came quite natural to me. But then in their teen years, I swung right into extreme circumstances. Now, the pendulum has swung completely the opposite direction and that also makes me feel a little bit sick. I wished for this peace many times in my life and when I say to people that I'm finding it unnerving, I get a lot of, "crochet and enjoy the peace" dismissive and that just doesn't feel right either. So, I've been hunting for purpose, the way, something that will make me feel fulfilled and I've hit upon the fact that I cannot find very many people publicly leading the way on some sort of midrange lifestyle. Everything out there seems extreme one end or the other. I give you a few observations: On Glennon Doyle's two most recent podcasts, the first she interviewed Dr. Devon Price, author of the book, Laziness Does Not Exist. You can imagine this conversation based on the book's title. Then there was a follow up where it focused on the busyness of her sister who is in the thick of mothering, marriage, work, etc. But basically, both episodes seemed to focus on the idea that American society is overworked to the point where we hit a wall and cannot even function and then we beat ourselves up over being "lazy." And I can see where many people fit into that extreme and have no respite and it is constant and will most likely forever be. On the flip side, there is a ton of literature I have read out there on the other extreme end that hobbies are dead having been replaced by endless phone scrolling. I mean there's a ton of evidence for this overuse being extremely detrimental to our well-being. There are some studies that have concluded that social media can be positive, i *if* we use it to interact back and forth. But has anyone noticed that even Facebook, which originally lended itself to online social interaction with far away people, Zuck has maintained his position when questioned over and over again that his intent is soley to improve personal connections, now has canned statements when you go to comment? I mean if you can't even be bothered to type "congratulations" on a graduation post, what level has this descended to? If this isn't an example of lazy, what is? I am watching people around me say they have no time to pursue anything fun and yet, I cannot figure out what they are doing with their time. I have had people ask me to make things for them and I have offered to show them how and they have responded they have no time, but then have 15 Facebook posts a day about what TV shows they are binge watching. Now, I know also have some friends with disabled children that are struggling and probably will forever struggle, truly having no space and time for themselves, or the people who work 60 hours a week at intense jobs to put roofs over their head and food in their mouths, but I also believe this is an extreme. But social media would have you believe that not a single person in this world has any measure of balance. A friend posted Jerry Seinfeld's comments on censorship in media, specifically comedy by network TV. I always question any accusation of censorship. I commented positing that if money could be made on offensive comedy, capitalism would reign. He disagreed with that premise and narrowed his comments specifically to network TV (many people on social media ranted on about the left being involved in censorship in general, but he did not) and then he made the comment that the majority would still continue to find comedy that was acceptable 30-40 years ago, still acceptable today. I just said that I find it dangerous to assume that I'm in the majority on anything and that he should maybe not try to extrapolate that his opinion was almost universally shared. And he said, maybe the world has passed me by and it has changed in a way I don't recognize and I haven't changed. And I thought about that, I thought about that a lot. I had just had a discussion with my sister about technology and one of the comments I came away saying was, *some* things really were better 30 years ago. But again, I think if you are reading newspapers, magazines, social media, it seems like we are caught between two extremes. There are the ones clamoring to make America great again, like they are harkening back to a time in the past that they are idealizing without an uncritical eye. And there are also the people who won't let their children ride around the block on their bike and can't imagine shutting down (work, home, whatever) the computer/text/phone/etc. to actually be offline for a while. There was a thread here recently about technology in classrooms and some of the responses really surprised me, especially from teachers. Jessica Grose of the NYT recently explored the issue of technology in the classroom and the actual data on it seems to show that it's being overused and education quality is suffering for it. It can be a great complimentary tool, but that there needs to be a balance in use. There's that word again. Men vs. women. The question of the week seems to be asking women if they would rather be alone in the forest with a bear or a man. And apparently people are more likely to pick the bear. But I don't have clue what algorithm I have stumbled upon, but damn it seems like a small contingent of men (I contend, open to debate) have dug deeper down into misogyny and are being extremely vocal about it and this is causing women to go similarly crazy on the anti-man side. As a happily married woman to an imperfect, but fair man, I'm just like what in the hell is tearing the younger generations apart in regard to men vs. women? And it seems like there a seesaw here, you are either completely for one side and completely opposed to the other or vice versa. No gray area. No one is going to be perfect, but if Twitter or Threads is any indicator, marriage is going to die a slow death because of men and women nitpicking each other to death instead of trying to learn and grow from loving one another. And that leads me to the most political argument I'm going to make. I subscribe to several publications and their articles come up in my Facebook feed. The comments on those articles (which many of them didn't even bother to read the article, which is another complaint I have) are extreme. You have to literally choose a side. We've seen it here in political threads too. It's like you're either for us or against us and maybe it is only those extremists talking but I don't believe most of these issues are anywhere near as black and white as people are making them seem. I feel overwhelmed by hate and extremism. As someone who rides center (a little left), it seems like we've lost our voice. But maybe our group is shrinking. I don't think so based on how the occasional comment comes up here that the bias is so extreme here of all places, that people don't feel like they have a voice in a community that has been together for many years. Anyway, I will say that this is probably more than you wanted to consider on a Wednesday morning. But one thing that really sticks with me through all these observations is that people are angry and exhausted. They aren't feeling well, mentally or physically. I know I'm not the only one who feels like they have lost touch with their balance (and I'm someone who has spent a lifetime considering it). So how does this make you feel? Are you as exhausted as me? Are you at the point where you want to give up everything and join a commune?  LOL! No, but seriously, I feel we are sick as a society, I feel sick myself. I'm considering some pretty extreme measures to right the ship but then I pause and think, isn't this just another extreme reaction to the extremes I'm trying to run from?
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Post by peano on May 1, 2024 16:16:50 GMT
I am too emotionally exhausted to focus on reading what I'm sure is a worthwhile post, but I'll answer just from the thread title.
Yes.
Too many screens, not enough nature, and intimate face-to-face connection with other people.
A society that focuses on production, not the well-being of its citizens.
Government focus/funding is misdirected from the areas where we as a society would benefit most: childcare and parental leave, public education, mental health, gun legislation.
A production-focused society where most people reap no rewards, because of the imbalance of power and wealth in our society.
A "health"/medical system that is driven by insurance companies rather than medical personnel.
Crap foods full of chemicals and pesticides fill our grocery stores.
And of course, underlying all this is a patriarchal system that devalues what would bring a more balanced, pleasant way of life.
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 16:49:20 GMT
I appreciate you posting peano. I agree with much of what you have said, but most of what you wrote reads like we have no control and I am specifically wondering if our reactions to things are extreme. In other words, can we recognize patriarchy without being bitter on the daily on Twitter. Can we just work by voting and within our circles to effect change? I believe people tend to extremes specifically because they feel powerless and are seeking to seize power back. In other words, it's driving the problem, making it worse. |
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,303 
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on May 1, 2024 16:59:18 GMT
My thoughts are scattered on this…
I am fascinated by the points you have brought up. As an historian (hobbyist not professional), I often explore recurring themes and actions in history and find that those who wax rhapsodic about the “good old days” often just see the positives, which in the context of our brains makes sense because no one wants a repeat of 2008 or the oil embargo of the 80s. But gosh darn it, wouldn’t it be great if our kids could play outside without getting kidnapped these days even though violent crime has been trending down. People see what they want to see, and that has always been. But what they want to see are the things that make them feel in control of their lives.
The issue of balance, striving to find the in-between in our personal and professional lives, in our dealings with our friends, family and neighbors, and in our own ability to grant ourselves grace, is difficult in my opinion because of the media, whether it be the news or social media. There are two veins of information that we are bombarded with daily but they converge. The media feeds us stories, largely negative ones. In response, our connections change their behaviors, and post about it long and hard on socials. They don’t let their kids play outside, sleep over at other people’s house or have cell phones before they are 16. They rage against high inflation and low wages. They search months for a job after being laid off for a year and then throw themselves into it working 60 hours a week in an attempt to not get laid off again. So we change our behaviors too. We do what others do because it is in our DNA to move with the pack. In caveman days, if you disagreed with your tribe, you were ousted.
Each one of these actions is the human brain’s attempt to create an illusion of control over things that we actually have little control over. The past, the “good old days,”is unchangeable, therefore the things that I did in the past that resulted in a good outcome should be repeated so I can once again have a positive experience that leads to feeling in control. When we step out of the box, step off the hamster wheel so to say, what is the first thing that happens? People question our decision, our sanity even. How can you step back from your career? Aren’t you worried about getting laid off? Don’t you want to be promoted/recognized as the best? You let your kids have a cell phone in middle school? Aren’t you worried they won’t do well in school/get sucked into p*rn/get nekkid snaps? We are grilled about the decisions we make that seem like the best choices for us and our families at the time we make them, but as soon as we make them public, they are scrutinized. Going against the grain means no longer keeping up with the Joneses, a phrase coined in the early 1900s that has a whole new meaning in this age of social media
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naby64
Drama Llama
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Post by naby64 on May 1, 2024 17:04:01 GMT
I am too emotionally exhausted to focus on reading what I'm sure is a worthwhile post, but I'll answer just from the thread title. Yes. Too many screens, not enough nature, and intimate face-to-face connection with other people. A society that focuses on production, not the well-being of its citizens. Government focus/funding is misdirected from the areas where we as a society would benefit most: childcare and parental leave, public education, mental health, gun legislation. A production-focused society where most people reap no rewards, because of the imbalance of power and wealth in our society. A "health"/medical system that is driven by insurance companies rather than medical personnel. Crap foods full of chemicals and pesticides fill our grocery stores. And of course, underlying all this is a patriarchal system that devalues what would bring a more balanced, pleasant way of life. I'm sorry, I am just going to quote you. It speaks what I don't have the energy to type. Are we doing this to ourselves, are we allowing it to be done to us? I know we all have pockets of peace. Where we get what we need but then I feel as I have stored up a supply it just gets sucked out of me when I head out "into the world". I am not a good "let it go" person. I read something, I scroll by and watch something. If it is something I want to fight for, it is hard for me to let go and know I can only do so much. Then I get angry because I can't do anything more. I want to be that better person. But being the boat that is getting beat by the ocean waves finally has the day it has to be docked. I am tired of trying to be the better person when no one around me is trying. The balance is truly gone. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 17:26:44 GMT
The issue of balance, striving to find the in-between in our personal and professional lives, in our dealings with our friends, family and neighbors, and in our own ability to grant ourselves grace, is difficult in my opinion because of the media, whether it be the news or social media. There are two veins of information that we are bombarded with daily but they converge. The media feeds us stories, largely negative ones. In response, our connections change their behaviors, and post about it long and hard on socials. Bravo! Standing ovation. I think this is the place I am right now. Like it's all gotta go. When we step out of the box, step off the hamster wheel so to say, what is the first thing that happens? People question our decision, our sanity even. How can you step back from your career? Aren’t you worried about getting laid off? Don’t you want to be promoted/recognized as the best? You let your kids have a cell phone in middle school? Aren’t you worried they won’t do well in school/get sucked into p*rn/get nekkid snaps? We are grilled about the decisions we make that seem like the best choices for us and our families at the time we make them, but as soon as we make them public, they are scrutinized. This is part of it too. Seems like everybody and their brother now has a platform to share their opinions. And extreme opinions are being thrust in our face. I mean how do you explain all that men vs women crap that is being thrown at me, a happily married Gen X woman? What's my stake in that game? I had surgery on my hand last week. Most of my fun activities have come to a standstill because of it. So I admit I've been more absorbed in the media lately than I ever am when I can pick up a crochet hook. And I'll just say, I feel like once my hand is back in commission, I need to detox. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 17:29:22 GMT
I want to be that better person. But being the boat that is getting beat by the ocean waves finally has the day it has to be docked. I am tired of trying to be the better person when no one around me is trying. The balance is truly gone. I hear your frustration, desperation, all of it. I feel it deeply. But I want better, for me, and for you, and for the kids, all of us. I post things like this after all this grossness is flying around my head because I am on the search for better. When I find something that works, I shout it from the rooftops. So I promise, I'll share with you, friend. |
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,429
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Post by huskergal on May 1, 2024 17:41:08 GMT
Go back to the time when women stayed home and men went to work. Women couldn't have their own credit card. Men could abuse their wives and women were asked: "What did you do to provoke him?"
I don't think there are any glory days or days when everything was great. Under Clinton, the country was economically thriving, but we had "don't ask, don't tell" for our policy regarding gay people in the military.
Reagan ignored AIDS. I was personally affected by the AIDS tragedy.
There are always new and different problems.
I agree that smartphones have definitely added to our current state of affairs. 24-7 access to social networking.
Covid definitely has added to it.
The tables are being turned on misogyny. My oldest daughter has zero interest in dating or getting married. She has male friends, but in general, she does not like men at all. My younger daughter cannot find a man worth dating. They have no career or long term goals. Most of them addicted to playing video games. She has no interest in a man who spends that much time on video games.
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Post by lbp on May 1, 2024 17:44:16 GMT
I am too emotionally exhausted to focus on reading what I'm sure is a worthwhile post, but I'll answer just from the thread title.
Yes.
Too many screens, not enough nature, and intimate face-to-face connection with other people.
A society that focuses on production, not the well-being of its citizens.
Government focus/funding is misdirected from the areas where we as a society would benefit most: childcare and parental leave, public education, mental health, gun legislation.
A production-focused society where most people reap no rewards, because of the imbalance of power and wealth in our society.
A "health"/medical system that is driven by insurance companies rather than medical personnel.
Crap foods full of chemicals and pesticides fill our grocery stores.
And of course, underlying all this is a patriarchal system that devalues what would bring a more balanced, pleasant way of life.
I could not agree with this more! Too much instant information, Too many keyboard warriors, too much political unrest, too much worshiping Tik-tok "celebrities who claim to know everything, too much keeping up with the Jones', just TOO MUCH!
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 17:52:51 GMT
Go back to the time when women stayed home and men went to work. Women couldn't have their own credit card. Men could abuse their wives and women were asked: "What did you do to provoke him?" I don't think there are any glory days or days when everything was great. Under Clinton, the country was economically thriving, but we had "don't ask, don't tell" for our policy regarding gay people in the military. Reagan ignored AIDS. I was personally affected by the AIDS tragedy. There are always new and different problems. I agree that smartphones have definitely added to our current state of affairs. 24-7 access to social networking. Covid definitely has added to it. The tables are being turned on misogyny. My oldest daughter has zero interest in dating or getting married. She has male friends, but in general, she does not like men at all. My younger daughter cannot find a man worth dating. They have no career or long term goals. Most of them addicted to playing video games. She has no interest in a man who spends that much time on video games. Who raised these boys? Why did our generation raise successful girls and not successful boys? And do we really want to turn the tables on misogyny? That certainly seems like from my look at social media a lot of women are after. Shouldn't our goal actually be living in harmony as mutually respectful and loving adults with successful marriages? Maybe you didn't mean that phrase the way it came across but turning the tables doesn't read to me like equality and mutual respect. And that's a lot of what I'm reading online from both genders. Again, not balance, but a fight for power. |
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Post by grammadee on May 1, 2024 18:36:09 GMT
I love that you continue to inspire us to think more deeply, jeremysgirl. I hope to restart Walk a Mile a Day this evening. Not sure I will be having any deep thoughts--will be walking around the field where my dgs will be practicing soccer--but I still have your voice in my head from when you started that last year. As to balance, I didn't take the time to read your op just yet, but I wanted to respond to the question you posed. I believe that the concept of balance comes from a priviledged lifestyle. When I was growing up on a small unmechanized family farm, we didn't have alot of time for sports or art or hobbies: we were too busy scrabbling out a living. All of us worked in some way to make sure the family had warmth and food. And I believe impoverished people still live that way all over the world. But we didn't split working and having fun into separate parts. I remember kids throwing potatoes at each other as we were planting and the adults chuckling. I remember hearing my brother whistling fun tunes as he drove the team of horses home with a load of hay, and the joking around of the guys on the threshing crew, the women laughing as they worked together canning vegetables. No one talked about balance, or worked to achieve it. As a family, we did everything at once and it was all shared. When the community got together, there would be pot luck meals, a pop up game of baseball for the adults, and the kids didn't wait for someone to organize us: we just ran off to play with the other kids. Fast forward to today, and most of the work we did by hand is now handled by machines, so we believe we SHOULD have more time for recreation. But it is funny how people have managed to make recreation something to force into a plan. Teams and leagues are set up. Practices, games and tournaments are scheduled. We end up running/driving from one appointment to the other. Who knew that having fun could be so exhausting? As kids, we were isolated, so no worries about "bad influences". We didn't have alot of choices. But today the number of choices are overwhelming. I think the over scheduling is a way to force some control over this. And to get to politics, I think that becoming locked into a specific political view is part of this as well. If we feel rudderless in a stormy sea, we will cling to the only log we can get our hands on. And once we have hold of it, we don't dare let go to grab--or even consider--another point of view. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 18:50:54 GMT
I hope to restart Walk a Mile a Day this evening. Not sure I will be having any deep thoughts--will be walking around the field where my dgs will be practicing soccer--but I still have your voice in my head from when you started that last year. Yes, I had meant to do the same thing. I was going to run after my hand is healed, but a good walk is definitely something I can do and will be worthwhile. I believe that the concept of balance comes from a priviledged lifestyle. I agree with you to a certain point. Either that or I just think a lot more people are privileged. People tend to go through seasons, IMO, when they are much more taxed than at other times, though. I do believe that. I also believe that some people are virtually on a merry-go-round of stress they can't escape. But we didn't split working and having fun into separate parts. This is a really beautiful way to grow up. But it is funny how people have managed to make recreation something to force into a plan. Teams and leagues are set up. Practices, games and tournaments are scheduled. We end up running/driving from one appointment to the other. Who knew that having fun could be so exhausting? I saw my friends do this with many of their kids and I mostly opted out. If social media is any indicator, this too, is the mark of privilege. If we feel rudderless in a stormy sea, we will cling to the only log we can get our hands on. And once we have hold of it, we don't dare let go to grab--or even consider--another point of view. I whole heartedly agree with this. And I think you nailed with metaphor what I was trying to isolate. This is the outcome. But I'm afraid we are all in a vortex with media/social media whipping up the sea much worse than it actually is. |
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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 1, 2024 19:35:44 GMT
I agree with a lot of what has been said and am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words.
I have really been struggling with social media lately. Namely, the comments sections. I can't seem to keep myself from reading them but they usually irritate me. There is so much misinformation, name calling, and mean spirited behavior that has gotten worse in the last few years. I used to notice comments primarily from one party but now it is both. The comment about being in a vortex with social media whipping up the sea worse than it actually is is pretty accurate, IMO.
Yesterday I listened to something (I think a YT video? I will see if I can find it again) where the speaker was talking about young males. I thought he was generalizing too much, as a mom to four boys who seem to me to be emotionally healthy and are/would be good relationship partners and productive members of society. Basically he said that it is too easy for them to withdraw from social interactions. You can talk to friends online rather than in person. You can watch porn instead of trying to date and dealing with rejection. You can make money online rather than in a job. And so on. He also talked about fewer people getting married due to this. I don't really see that in my own circle of acquaintances or family members. My oldest does want to get married and have kids, but at this point he says girls are too much drama and hasn't dated as far as I know.
I do see the above to be true for some people (male and female) but I don't know if it is as common as he made it out to be. I would like to see some research on this. I know that when I talk to kids through work many of them don't have much interaction with others outside of school and video games is often the only hobby they list (boys and girls). I have concerns about that. My own kids are primarily interested in sports. They do play video games some, but when playing online they play with their IRL friends, not strangers. They also get together with them regularly to ride bikes, shoot hoops, go to the batting cage, watch a game, etc. A friend recently asked people on FB if they have noticed that it is harder for kids to make friends IRL now. I said no for my own kids, but I could definitely see how it is for some kids. There have always been kids who had a hard time with friendships, though, so I don't know how it compares to times in the past.
As for adult balance...I don't know if it is really much different than in the past. Like grammadee said, in previous generations people didn't really think about that. They did what they needed to do to get things done and live their lives. They didn't think or talk about self care, balance, needing down time the way people do now (at least not from my knowledge--this is my first time being an adult lol). Maybe we think about it too much, then feel guilty that we aren't doing enough or doing it right? Social media also comes into play with this topic as well.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,429
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Post by huskergal on May 1, 2024 19:58:27 GMT
Go back to the time when women stayed home and men went to work. Women couldn't have their own credit card. Men could abuse their wives and women were asked: "What did you do to provoke him?" I don't think there are any glory days or days when everything was great. Under Clinton, the country was economically thriving, but we had "don't ask, don't tell" for our policy regarding gay people in the military. Reagan ignored AIDS. I was personally affected by the AIDS tragedy. There are always new and different problems. I agree that smartphones have definitely added to our current state of affairs. 24-7 access to social networking. Covid definitely has added to it. The tables are being turned on misogyny. My oldest daughter has zero interest in dating or getting married. She has male friends, but in general, she does not like men at all. My younger daughter cannot find a man worth dating. They have no career or long term goals. Most of them addicted to playing video games. She has no interest in a man who spends that much time on video games. Who raised these boys? Why did our generation raise successful girls and not successful boys? And do we really want to turn the tables on misogyny? That certainly seems like from my look at social media a lot of women are after. Shouldn't our goal actually be living in harmony as mutually respectful and loving adults with successful marriages? Maybe you didn't mean that phrase the way it came across but turning the tables doesn't read to me like equality and mutual respect. And that's a lot of what I'm reading online from both genders. Again, not balance, but a fight for power. I don't know why boys are not "successful". My oldest son is married and content to work an hourly wage job. He is one of the brightest people I know but has no interest in college. His wife is the same way. As long at they are happy, I don't care. My youngest son is going to be a mechanical engineer. He is very driven. He just has no interest in dating right now. He wants to make money. The mindset of the youth is changing. With that being said, there are several people who graduated with my children that are married with kids. I think people are being more discerning about who they want to marry. It isn't just about getting married any more and women can support themselves. |
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,236
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Post by pilcas on May 1, 2024 20:22:11 GMT
I think a balanced life is reachable when you have a more comfortable economic situation. Todays salaries, except in some categories, have not kept pace with the cost of living. If you take minimum wage and do the math you can see that there are a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, they are going to be frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious etc. Free time and relaxation, stimulation is important to well being but if a couple works all week, cares for the kids, the weekend is used for chores. Where does the fun family time come in? Is there money to have fun as a family? Then we see how much CEOs are making and the profits these companies are making and maybe now we are angry. I do think this was not so much an issue in the past as the gap between wages and the cost of living has kept growing and the middle class shrinking.
The man vs women issue, I think when women marry most of the time they take on the household chores as well as work responsibilities, there goes the balance as now there is little time for relaxation, self care. Again if you are affluent enough it won’t affect you as much. When I got engaged my mother insisted that I I hire her cleaning lady before I got married that it would save me a lot of arguments later on. I did and she was right. Having my apartment cleaned once a week freed me from playing catch up with chores on weekends and I weekends were much more relaxed and balanced. But I married in my mid thirties and we were both established in our careers.
I’m 60+ but I get angry when I hear these law makers down in Texas saying crazy things like Women’s pregnancies should be monitored to make sure they are not getting unnoticed abortions. I get angry when Women’s health is put at risk because some old man who never had to worry about getting pregnant comes up with these and other cruel punishments for women. I hear Cari Lake saying that those who carry should strap on their arms when the go to vote to safe guard our elections. All these things are bound to cause anxiety and anger in people. Watching both national and international news is extremely stressful. Can we really believe in the justice system anymore? Do you have the same faith in the Supreme Court as you did 20 yrs ago? Do some people get more privileges under the law than others? Maybe because it is so easy to get information These days we find out about things we wouldn’t have 20 yrs ago browsing through our local newspaper. All in all, there are many things going on that can affect our balance.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on May 1, 2024 20:46:34 GMT
I usually avoid all the threads that are marked "politics", but I really like the discussion threads that Jeremysgirl posts....so here I am .
I find life to be so much on the go, go, go. So much overscheduling. So many very full plates. All of that leads to un-balance. For some(but not all) there seems to be little downtime.
There also seems to be a technology un-balance. So much social media and electronics....and not enough one on one or group socialization.
Neighbors , friends, Family, etc...don't get together like the old days. Very little >> drive way, front porch, back yard, kitchen table sitting, etc..
In person conversations are few and far between. So much is done by text or other forms of messaging. Even meeting someone for lunch, dinner, a walk, a hang out, etc... is keeping an eye on the clock, people looking at phones, etc...
Everyone's amount of "life balance" is different. Some people thrive on go-go-go. Some(me) don't deal well with that.
I am very cognitive and aware of not having a full plate, and having balance in my life.
I don't deal well with a full plate or being busy and on the go constantly....it causes me to feel stressed and increases my anxiety level.
I need balance.
I need me time, quiet time, self care.........to balance all that is happening in the external world.
For me, "life balance" tends to ebb and flow. I always aim for a steady slow to medium, but occasionally busy or crazy busy happens(sometimes it can't be helped)....and that throws me off balance. When I get "off balance", I make it a priority to get my life balanced. I function better and am happier when my life has balance.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,596
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on May 1, 2024 21:17:46 GMT
So much to say here - thank you for the thought-provoking thread! I'm right there with you on believing most things are not black or white. I believe many things are shades of grey, and in fact many things are black AND white. Most everybody has done both good and bad. Thank you for making me feel less alone in that! Yes, things are very polarized these days. My oldest son is married and content to work an hourly wage job. He is one of the brightest people I know but has no interest in college. His wife is the same way. As long at they are happy, I don't care. THANK YOU! I love my jobs, I love my family, I love my home. None of them is anything to brag about on social media. I just feel deeply content in the big-picture areas of my life (though I complain plenty LOL). I do not need to aspire to bigger/better/more. Are there better toys I'd like and trips to take? Sure. It's not that I don't want to grow or aspire. It's that I want it to be okay to be happy where I am, like huskergal says her DS and DDIL are. Regarding marriage, I'm horrified by the commodification I hear about online - that a woman's $ value is in her looks, so she'd better get herself set up before the looks go south; a man's value is in his income and the lifestyle he can provide... What century are we in?! I'm a GenXer married to a boomer. He has been a true partner in parenting, homekeeping, and providing. We've had years where one of us did more in a certain area, then other years when those roles flipped. His manhood was not threatened by accompanying kids to playdates or doing laundry. Years ago, when I was lamenting my post-baby body, he said, "I love your stretch marks - they tell the story of our family." He has taught me how to be a better person by the way he treats me. My point is that he is NOT the only man on the planet like that. Our relationship has had its bumpy roads, but when we married, we were both "all in". Young people should be taught that such a thing as deep love with one person for a long time is possible (not saying it's the only path to happiness, just that it is something to hold out for if that's what you want). |
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Post by peano on May 1, 2024 22:02:31 GMT
I appreciate you posting peano . I agree with much of what you have said, but most of what you wrote reads like we have no control and I am specifically wondering if our reactions to things are extreme. In other words, can we recognize patriarchy without being bitter on the daily on Twitter. Can we just work by voting and within our circles to effect change? I believe people tend to extremes specifically because they feel powerless and are seeking to seize power back. In other words, it's driving the problem, making it worse. This society is sick because of its systems, and monolithic with patriarchy and the imbalance of power and income, and how those drive the other things I mentioned. I do think we have reached a critical juncture in society where people are feeling impotent and desperate, particularly those whose lives are most affected and are less equipped to cope psychologically. I feel we are entering a "Fall of the Roman Empire" state, which is demonstrated by the rise of authoritarian governments for one. People are feeling out of control of their own lives, and are looking for someone to impose structure and guidelines amid the chaos. We are losing the veneer of social norms (thanks DT)--the character development and social niceties that used to smooth our social interactions. As you say, many situations in our lives are out of our control, even during "normal" times. BUT, we can take control of our own lives, and implement as many healthy practices as we can. Voting is important too, but it may be we will have to see if we lose our democracy in November, and if not, then we will have to wait for the societal shift away from extremist behavior. Although unlike societal shifts in the past, everyone agreed on what "reality" is and I'm not sure how we bounce back from a large part of our population being untethered by real "reality". |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 1, 2024 22:48:24 GMT
I'll be back tomorrow. I need to power down for the day. I appreciate all the comments. Will address some of your great thoughts tomorrow.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 1, 2024 22:58:51 GMT
I'm tired of saying 'hi' and have people snarl at me. So I am less likely to say 'hi' to strangers, probably won't smile either. *** Read or not, but this is the new plan.. Donald Trump's campaign is "playing up" issues like crime to appeal to more male voters and turn the 2024 election into a "men vs. women" contest, an Axios reporter claimed Wednesday. Speaking to MSNBC, Axios co-founder Jim Vandehei said that with ballot initiatives for reproductive health in states around the country, Trump's campaign has given up attempting to appeal to female voters and opted for appearing more "manly" instead. That's when he revealed Trump's people, "In some ways ... boil this election down to men versus women. They believe they're going to lose a chunk of women who might have voted for them because of the abortion topic." www.rawstory.com/trump-campaign-men-vs-women/ |
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 8,552
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on May 1, 2024 23:27:44 GMT
Anyway, I will say that this is probably more than you wanted to consider on a Wednesday morning. But one thing that really sticks with me through all these observations is that people are angry and exhausted. They aren't feeling well, mentally or physically. I know I'm not the only one who feels like they have lost touch with their balance (and I'm someone who has spent a lifetime considering it). So how does this make you feel? Are you as exhausted as me? Are you at the point where you want to give up everything and join a commune? LOL! No, but seriously, I feel we are sick as a society, I feel sick myself. I'm considering some pretty extreme measures to right the ship but then I pause and think, isn't this just another extreme reaction to the extremes I'm trying to run from? I don't think we got here quickly and I think it will take an extreme reaction to straighten out this Titanic. Some days I really feel like we are just sinking. We have some lifeboats, but we know who always steals those and doesn't leave room for anyone else. Depending on your finances and health, you could be on that top level and *might* make it or you'll drown with the rats. Some people are choosing to go down with the ship and others are fighting like hell to survive. People above have touched on all the reasons: patriarchy, religion, politics, technology... I hope we can get back in the right direction, but I sometimes feel like one of the people treading water at the end. However, I'll never let go, Jack. |
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Post by AussieMeg on May 2, 2024 0:26:50 GMT
I would like to talk about the Man or Bear part of your post. My social media is flooded with Man or Bear posts at the moment. And yes, there are men out there who either dig deeper into their own misogyny, or they cry "Not all men", or exclaim "But women kill men too!" It's infuriating! I don't believe that women are anti-men, and that there is no grey area. I'm not anti-men, but I am angry. Women are fucking angry! Men keep murdering us! On the weekend there were mass rallies all over the country here in Australia, protesting violence against women. The rallies were sparked by the death of yet another woman in a gender-based killing. She was the 27th woman to be murdered by a man this year. Deaths of dozens of Australian women this year trigger mass protests across countryI cried tears of frustration and deep sorrow when I read this article in March: " Why can't we go for a fucking run?" It put into words exactly how I was feeling. And since that article was written, another nine or so women have been murdered in gender-based killings, including 5 women in a targeted mass stabbing a couple of weeks ago. So yeah. I am not anti-men, I love the men in my life. But I'm going to choose the bear. |
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,429
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Post by huskergal on May 2, 2024 0:28:55 GMT
So much to say here - thank you for the thought-provoking thread! I'm right there with you on believing most things are not black or white. I believe many things are shades of grey, and in fact many things are black AND white. Most everybody has done both good and bad. Thank you for making me feel less alone in that! Yes, things are very polarized these days. My oldest son is married and content to work an hourly wage job. He is one of the brightest people I know but has no interest in college. His wife is the same way. As long at they are happy, I don't care. THANK YOU! I love my jobs, I love my family, I love my home. None of them is anything to brag about on social media. I just feel deeply content in the big-picture areas of my life (though I complain plenty LOL). I do not need to aspire to bigger/better/more. Are there better toys I'd like and trips to take? Sure. It's not that I don't want to grow or aspire. It's that I want it to be okay to be happy where I am, like huskergal says her DS and DDIL are. Regarding marriage, I'm horrified by the commodification I hear about online - that a woman's $ value is in her looks, so she'd better get herself set up before the looks go south; a man's value is in his income and the lifestyle he can provide... What century are we in?! I'm a GenXer married to a boomer. He has been a true partner in parenting, homekeeping, and providing. We've had years where one of us did more in a certain area, then other years when those roles flipped. His manhood was not threatened by accompanying kids to playdates or doing laundry. Years ago, when I was lamenting my post-baby body, he said, "I love your stretch marks - they tell the story of our family." He has taught me how to be a better person by the way he treats me. My point is that he is NOT the only man on the planet like that. Our relationship has had its bumpy roads, but when we married, we were both "all in". Young people should be taught that such a thing as deep love with one person for a long time is possible (not saying it's the only path to happiness, just that it is something to hold out for if that's what you want). What a great husband! |
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Post by AussieMeg on May 2, 2024 0:30:16 GMT
Here is the article I linked above, in case the link doesn't work outside Australia. Yes, it's long!
Why can't we go for a fucking run?
Don’t go running at night, they warn us. It’s not safe.
So we go for a run in the morning, on a mild Sunday near our home. And we are murdered. Like Samantha Murphy.
Don’t go home with someone you don’t know, they say. It’s dangerous.
So we walk home alone. And we are murdered. Like Jill Meagher.
We are murdered on our way home from work. Like Anita Cobby and Prabha Kumar.
We are murdered at work, even when we work in schools. Like Lilie James and Stephanie Scott.
We are murdered while walking in parks. Like Eurydice Dixon and Courtney Herron and Masa Vukotic.
We are murdered in cars, alongside our children. Like Hannah Clarke.
We are murdered on beaches. Like Toyah Cordingley.
We are murdered in shopping centres in broad daylight while doing errands with our grandaughters. Like Vyleen White.
And in staggering, sickening numbers, we are murdered in our homes by men we know. Our husbands. Our partners. Our sons. Our fathers. Our brothers. Our boyfriends. Our workmates. By men we love or used to, men we’ve lived with or married or dated.
Why can’t I go for a f**king run?
This is what women are texting each other right now, with the news that a 22-year-old man has been charged with the murder of Samantha Murphy, who went for a run near her home in Ballarat five weeks ago and never came home.
Police say Samantha did not know the man but they allege he killed her. Just like so many men have killed so many of us before him and will continue to kill us, apparently until the end of time.
And if we are an Indigenous woman, we are eight times more likely to be murdered than if we are not Indigenous, most likely by an intimate partner.
What are we to make of all this? What can we do?
Not much. Because it doesn’t seem to matter much what we do or don’t do, what we wear or don’t wear, how much we drink or don’t drink where we go for a run or when. Men keep killing us.
So to our brothers, our fathers, our partners, our lovers, our friends, our sons and our workmates… here’s something we would like you to know.
We're angry. And we are so very, very tired.
We're tired of feeling scared and vulnerable. We're tired of the mental load we must carry in public and in private as we try to walk a path through this never-ending epidemic of violence against women.
We're tired of having to think about where we parked our car, how we'll get home, whether it's safe for us to walk in a public park or down a well-lit street.
We’re tired of having to endure abuse and assault from some men who claim to love us.
We're tired of having to be on high alert each time we get into a cab or open our front doors to a male tradie or go home with a guy we met at a bar or on a dating app.
We're tired of living with the constant level of vigilance required to avoid getting raped or murdered; a level of vigilance that seems to offer little protection because can we honestly not go for a run on a Sunday morning near our home?
We're tired of being told to be careful, be cautious, be aware of our surroundings. We do all that. We do it constantly. And still we are killed. In private spaces and public ones. At night and during the day. By strangers and by men we know.
We're tired of being told to carry our phones and make sure we let someone know where we’re going to be and not to drink too much or wear certain clothes or stay with an abusive man or walk in certain areas. We’ve heard all that. And still men are killing us.
Could someone tell the men to stop killing us? Why won't they stop killing us?
Because in how many ways must we modify our behaviour more than we already have, more than we already do? How much more frightened must we feel? How much more responsibility must we take for our own safety? How much more mental load must we carry as we simply try to get goddamn shit done and live our lives in a society that seems to do so pitifully little to protect women and girls from assault and murder?
Why is the loss of our lives so inconsequential? Where are the public forums to try and work out where the hell we're going wrong as a society and a community if so many men believe that women are theirs to abuse and rape and murder? Where is the push for legislation and the funding for education campaigns?
We're so, so tired. We’re tired of having to carry the incessant mental load of trying not to be murdered, a load men aren’t burdened with and is completely invisible to them. We’re staggering under its weight and it’s wickedly unjust that it is ours alone to reckon with. Every bloody day of our lives.
As we are encouraged to celebrate International Women's Day while reeling over the loss of yet another woman — and another and another and another — we share despairing texts and make promises to look out for one another, to add the safety of our sisters to our own mental load.
We are exhausted by the brutal war of violence waged against us by some men and we need all men to know the toll it takes on every woman. We need you to acknowledge the injustice and futility at play when it’s women who are essentially told to stay off the streets, and in the same breath reminded that statistically, our homes are far more dangerous.
Where exactly are we safe? Why can't we go for a f**king run?
We cannot be more vigilant. It's not possible. What we need now is the help of men. We need them to take up this cause as their own, to help us with the load. We need them to know how it feels to hear footsteps behind you or have your cab driver take a wrong turn and immediately wonder, "Is this it? Is it my turn now?"
If men could feel our fear, they could never live with it. Day in, day out.
They would refuse to.
We don't have the choice.
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Post by katlady on May 2, 2024 0:34:56 GMT
AussieMeg That is horrible! There have been about 9 women in NYC that have been sucker punch by a man in the last couple of months. It is not all one guy doing it. I even read a 9-year old girl was punched. So I understand why some would rather take their chances with a bear than a man. It is so sad.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,011
Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on May 2, 2024 1:08:43 GMT
I will try to get on tomorrow and post a more thought-out response, but tonight just wanted to say "Yes!" (agreeing with your post jeremysgirl) and agreeing with many of the other responses posted so far. (I edited documents all day and am out of words for the evening, LOL. I'll find some in the next day or two.) Can I just also say jeremysgirl, if you ever want to write a book, I want to be on your team! You have a way with words and deep thinking that strikes at the heart of things! Very thought-provoking topic... |
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,239
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Post by pantsonfire on May 2, 2024 2:10:37 GMT
I wanted to sit on this one today before I answered. As always, I love these posts jeremysgirl !! I am going to break it down by paragraph about what you wrote out. Yours will be bolded. But has anyone noticed that even Facebook, which originally lended itself to online social interaction with far away people, Zuck has maintained his position when questioned over and over again that his intent is soley to improve personal connections, now has canned statements when you go to comment? I mean if you can't even be bothered to type "congratulations" on a graduation post, what level has this descended to? If this isn't an example of lazy, what is? I am watching people around me say they have no time to pursue anything fun and yet, I cannot figure out what they are doing with their time. I have had people ask me to make things for them and I have offered to show them how and they have responded they have no time, but then have 15 Facebook posts a day about what TV shows they are binge watching. Now, I know also have some friends with disabled children that are struggling and probably will forever struggle, truly having no space and time for themselves, or the people who work 60 hours a week at intense jobs to put roofs over their head and food in their mouths, but I also believe this is an extreme. But social media would have you believe that not a single person in this world has any measure of balance. I had a conversation yesterday with a gentleman at the ER about nature and phones. He was in an ER wheelchair due to an injury and every time he came back from a test was asked to be facing the windows and door way. He never once got on his phone to scroll mindlessly or play a game. The only time he was on the phone was when his wife called. Anyways he overheard a conversation DD and I were having about the push to change the pain scale rating and then we got into how the ER is set up. That the chairs and beds either have no windows or are facing away from the outside world. That we are being kept in this space and unless you physically turn around and sit awkwardly in the chair, you face in. You have a TV and your phone. You see nothing of the outside world. That led to a discussion about being trapped by social media and organizations into the small box way of life. Almost everyone is glued, face down to their phones instead of looking outside, at the bigger picture of life. And that for sure has an impact on our lives. On how we view ourselves within that box (the box being the phone and what we limit our views to) and how we see other boxes (either good or bad). We don't look at the bigger picture. We arent watching cars drive by and dogs go for a walk or the cyclist or the birds and squirrels. We see what our phones want us to see based on algorithm. If you think about it some computer system is telling us what we need to see. Unless we continually are mindful to step outside that box and look for other boxes...thats it. And it has a very negative impact on humans. I want to add that I really feel FB has died a slow death. I hardly go there anymore. I like a photo here and there or a post and only comment when needed. It isnt lazy. It is just protecting myself from the wrath of crap that can be spewed from those who dont agree. As far as time/space for themselves... again, what I posted is what people have been trained to do. Mindless scrolling. They think it is relaxing. They think it is respite. How far from the truth that is. But if a person gets joy from binging a TV show, that is what they choose. Work and life is so overly controlled and everything is connected to the internet. You cant escape it. And too many are so tied to it, it is like their drug of choice. It gives them so many emotions. There are the ones clamoring to make America great again. Technology. I will say that those people who think it is still 1955 or say Make America Great Again, or forgot that we had crime in the 80s 90s etc are stuck in a time when technology wasnt always there. And that technology has has opened doors to the truth and justice and wrong doings and they dont like that. I will say that technology has done some good for us. People cant hide their shitty behavior anymore. People cant claim it didnt happen. Those people know that the youth can quickly gather and coordinate and that scares them. They are scared that their white, old school, racist ways are going to be stripped of them. And we have seen it happen. Police attack people who record shit they do because the truth will come out. Look at the crap posted by Ring users. If this is one area it has helped, I am glad it has. BUT on the flipside, you have those who then spew their hatred on line and make threats and mouth off and it hurts people. And you have the bad guys - J6ers - who used the internet to gather intel and spread the word. So it can back fire too. And then you have a new form of bullying. And stalkers. And crazy people posting weird crap. Men vs. women
The bear thing is about how men treat women. And on the flip side, when women of color were asked this question, they chose the bear because they didnt want a white man OR woman there. Its about the treatment of ones body, ones thoughts, ones ways, ones ideas, ones behaviors, ones way of dressing and talking, and how they look. White women can be just as nasty to women of color than men. There is a person I know who is very vocal about men and how bad they are and generalizes way too much. She dealt with harm with an X and I get that it has changed her. But now she just generalizes that all men and all military persons are like her X. And that seems to be an issue. You again get put into a box on your social media and all you see is women bad mouthing men or military personnel. ANd that is what you think this generation believes as a whole. But its just that small box who does. And they found their people to bitch and complain with. And share stories with. And make it seem like all men and all military are that way. While we are still fighting the patriarchy there has been a very positive shift with men realizing that it cant and shouldnt all be on the women. And men are more involved within their families and more open to therapy. It's like you're either for us or against us and maybe it is only those extremists talking but I don't believe most of these issues are anywhere near as black and white as people are making them seem. I feel overwhelmed by hate and extremism. As someone who rides center (a little left), it seems like we've lost our voice. But maybe our group is shrinking. I don't think so based on how the occasional comment comes up here that the bias is so extreme here of all places, that people don't feel like they have a voice in a community that has been together for many years. Again this is the box analogy. You are being filtered to see just that. On TT and FB and other social media it is very 1 sided. And people down the middle really dont participate for fear or being torn apart. But the algorithm sure makes it seem like it is very black and white, right or left. And it can skew your view. Your box. When you are on social media, you see the box you created or got filtered into. You dont see allllll the boxes. You dont see the cars and birds and people walking or dogs playing or butterflies fluttering by or planes in the sky. You see a box. One box. And unless you are mindful of that, and know how to alter the algorithm, you can get stuck in that box and then you get angry or upset or down and think what the hell is going on and be pushed into picking a side. And if you go against the box, well crap, there goes that right?! I dont believe the down the middle group is shrinking. We are just quiet. We are protecting our mental well being. We are just out living life. But one thing that really sticks with me through all these observations is that people are angry and exhausted. They aren't feeling well, mentally or physically. I know I'm not the only one who feels like they have lost touch with their balance (and I'm someone who has spent a lifetime considering it). So how does this make you feel? Are you as exhausted as me? Are you at the point where you want to give up everything and join a commune? LOL! No, but seriously, I feel we are sick as a society, I feel sick myself. I'm considering some pretty extreme measures to right the ship but then I pause and think, isn't this just another extreme reaction to the extremes I'm trying to run from? I have greatly stepped back. After seeing how the group I was part of in my city that was fighting the safety of schools, I realized that I wasnt like the other group members. I didnt want to keep track of there whereabouts of XYZ. I didnt care that they went to this event. I didnt care that they were planning to go here. I didnt memorize all the people they hung out with or what posts they liked or what money they donated to where. And I certainly didnt like being directed to go post nasties against the other side. They were forcing pick a side. And if you "two sided" an issue oh shit I would be put down. And if I didnt agree with a post or they way they handled a situation...again was made to feel bad. It showed me that while I care about the students in my community, it wasnt healthy and right for me to be involved like that. It was making me sick. I had trouble sleeping. My EDS was in over drive. U was super anxious. And the smallest thing was a big deal to them and it made me question my own thoughts into like am I not good enough? Am I not in this 100% because I dont think its a big deal? It was hectic. And chaotic. I have really backed off on social media. I hardly post on IG. I make sure to keep the algorithm for TT on cooking, dogs, nature. I unfollowed a ton of accounts and blocked others. I no longer engage with the group and have unfriended and blocked the members. I am no longer angry and mad. Gosh was the involvement making me so angry. At everything. And I was made to feel that way by the continual posts. SO many people are so angry it is making them ill. I would rather walk the dogs and scrapbook or cook/bake then be on line. And while I engage some on a few political posts, I really dont like to because again if I dont fit in the right box, I get hammered. I have enough self-awareness to know that I dont welcome that, I dont want it, and I just want peace. Things have calmed down now that the kids are older. While I still have to keep tabs on medical stuff, its not in the trenches anymore. I am not doing all the time. It is a welcome break and I am figuring out what I want to do with my extra time. I am looking at going to school for fun, for culinary, or to take local cooking and baking classes. And I will say...I have really thought about just exiting social media. FB, TT, IG, here. Dh gave up FB YEARS ago and isnt on any social media. While he doesnt have blinders on and is aware of what is going on in the world, he isnt scrolling and being bombarded with info. I feel like when people give up social media the fight thought is "oh you dont care about what is going on in the world" and "oh you dont care about us" and "oh you just want to be blind to it all" etc etc. And no...you dont need SM to know what is going on and be able to help and care. Its a way to keep you in that box. To keep you mindlessly "engaged." I dont know. But honestly sometimes I think the final piece of happiness will be getting off social media. And going out and seeing the boxes and engaging with humans in person. And just being. Not trying to fit the box or get approval from people I dont know or please others with my response. Or try and fit in and type that they want me to say instead of what I want to say. And those are my thoughts. Its a lot isnt it? This whole social media world. And peas just know that if I do decide to leave, I am okay, kids are doing okay. Lots of big changes for DD. And DH is doing well. And jeremysgirl I get your feelings of dismissiveness over the phrase you wrote out. It is almost gaslighting in a way. WHile another may chose that, it doesnt mean it is as simple as that. Be an ear to listen instead of just passing off basic advice that may not even make things better. Hugs to you |
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,239
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Post by pantsonfire on May 2, 2024 2:10:52 GMT
And I am sorry that was long. Guess I had a lot to say
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Post by gar on May 2, 2024 4:37:40 GMT
AussieMeg, that made tears roll down my cheeks... I've been reading about the recent murders there and, of course, the mass killing in the shopping centre. It's deeply, deeply distressing 
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Post by lesserknownpea on May 2, 2024 13:01:36 GMT
It’s the information. We as a people used to be exposed to a wide variety of information. We watched the news on TV. ( which was for the most part truthful ). We read paper newspapers. And magazines. Encyclopedias. Library books.
Most people were satisfied with just with the TV news, a newspaper subscription, and either their sports magazine , or a People. ( I remember when they first began publishing that BTW ). So the information was much more limited, and it was much more balanced.
Now, not only are people bombarded by nonstop info 24/7, but the infamous algorithms are doing their ever loving thing, which is figuring out which subjects and opinions engage us more, so they can feed us more of that.
So HOW could we be balanced as a society when we have devised for our commercial and entertainment purposes a system that makes sure the most important thing we receive—information—is utterly imbalanced?
We are like those people in a boat, who when someone says “whale!”, everybody rushes to that side of the boat causing it to capsize.
And I know a lot of people try to find ways to seek out opposing views on issues in order not to solely get info that is one sided. But I’m not convinced it’s all that possible to wade through the weeds of lies to even figure out what might actually be happening in the world. While I do trust certain reputable news sources, it’s when I’m hoping to get a well rounded “other side” view that I feel lost, not knowing who to trust.
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LOL! No, but seriously, I feel we are sick as a society, I feel sick myself. I'm considering some pretty extreme measures to right the ship but then I pause and think, isn't this just another extreme reaction to the extremes I'm trying to run from? 
