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Post by Bridget in MD on May 4, 2024 17:39:42 GMT
I keep hearing references to this debate on social media, so I finally did a google search on where it is coming from. Here's a couple (free) articles that explains the debate: www.forbes.com/sites/conormurray/2024/05/03/man-or-bear-many-women-say-theyd-rather-be-stuck-in-the-woods-with-a-bear-in-latest-viral-tiktok-debate/?sh=504b88c61a10www.usatoday.com/story/tech/news/2024/04/30/man-bear-tiktok-debate-explainer/73519921007/And this is the TT that started it all: https://www.tiktok.com/@screenshothq/video/7356208240008498465 From Forbes: "In the latest viral debate taking over TikTok, users are asking women whether they’d rather be trapped in the woods with a man or a bear, and many are choosing the bear, stating that a man may pose more potential danger than the wild animal—and the trend is sparking conversations about violence against women." Taking it face value, I think my answer would be man.... but looking at what this topic means theoretically to so many women, I honestly do not know. I wonder if I had more negative experiences with men, or wasn't as naive, I would pick something different. This is a fascinating topic to me, because also it is stemming the conversation that men are getting all butthurt over this question. This TT from DadChats explains why (I think) this question has struck a chord: It is not really about man vs bear, but rather, when women are faced with a terrible choice, they pick the bear, and men just cannot understand why they would rather die than live the life they are left to live... https://www.tiktok.com/@dadchats/video/7365147542880881962 Just wondering if anyone else has seen this debate... |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 4, 2024 17:52:46 GMT
We are also taught how to protect ourselves from bears, often successfully.
No one teaches us how to protect ourselves from seemingly good men turned rogue!!!
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,308 
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Post by pantsonfire on May 4, 2024 18:04:15 GMT
Other. A bear can maul you to death. A man can rape you. Neither are good. To me, they are one in the same.
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Post by epeanymous on May 4, 2024 18:09:55 GMT
This is why I don’t go in the woods.
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Post by cakediva on May 4, 2024 20:10:14 GMT
The men that are all butt hurt and complaining about how stupid women are? They are taking this question way too literally.
It isn't about the bear.
It is about men not listening to women - case in point - they'd rather go on about how the bear would maul them, how the bear won't change their tires, and and and - and are not hearing that "people will believe I was attacked by a bear" "people won't ask what I was wearing when I was attacked" "the bear will only kill me" and all the things.....
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Post by librarylady on May 4, 2024 20:13:24 GMT
Depends on the man who would be with me.
I shall have to vote Oprah.
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Post by hop2 on May 4, 2024 20:37:17 GMT
Bears all the way. I’ve come across them before with no harm and I’ll take my chances again with a bear. Statistically - bears.
At least they won’t bearsplain to me how I’m being stupid.
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Gem Girl
Pearl Clutcher
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Posts: 2,686
Jun 29, 2014 19:29:52 GMT
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Post by Gem Girl on May 4, 2024 21:15:59 GMT
Other. A bear can maul you to death. A man can rape you. Neither are good. To me, they are one in the same. A man can rape you, then kill you. I'll choose the bear, as I don't believe animals seek to do evil, while some humans do. The bear would probably prefer not to interact with me at all, and will go about his business when he sees I'm just backing off and going about mine (obviously, if it's a mama guarding cubs or a starving bear, that changes the calculation). Men with evil intent are fine with indulging it on an innocent. |
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Post by melanell on May 4, 2024 22:11:34 GMT
A bear is also very unlikely to purposely seek you out once it becomes aware that you are in the woods with it.
So if you see it, avoid it, and get some space from it, you won't be sitting there wondering if it's out looking for you and for what reason.
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Post by lisae on May 4, 2024 22:18:07 GMT
Picking a man assumes that the majority of men want to rape and kill you which I do not believe. I do believe that if a bear is hungry and you are food, you are dead. You can also outrun and outsmart a man. You can not outrun a bear and no amount of other techniques designed to work with a bear will work if the bear wants you.
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Post by Zee on May 4, 2024 22:38:38 GMT
I'll take my chances with the man, thanks. Most men aren't rapists or murderers. Bears are terrifying and i hope I never see a grizzly or a polar bear in person ever.
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Post by 950nancy on May 4, 2024 22:44:59 GMT
Other. A bear can maul you to death. A man can rape you. Neither are good. To me, they are one and the same. We live in bear country and see bears in the suburbs often. They are generally aloof, avoid humans and are curious from afar. This also goes for momma bears with cubs. We have black bears here and they are in general not to be feared. I have met many, many men, but can say that the percent of good bears I have encountered outweighs the percent of good men I have encountered. Either are a potential danger, sure, but I still vote bear. Now if the bear is a grizzly, I'll change my answer. |
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,243
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Post by Gennifer on May 4, 2024 22:58:36 GMT
As someone who lives in bear country and frequently has had a bear in my yard…
Bear. Without a doubt.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 4, 2024 23:02:31 GMT
Depends on the man who would be with me. That's the whole point. Not all men will rape and/or kill you. But you don't know whether the man you're trapped in the woods with is one of the men who will. |
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Post by myshelly on May 4, 2024 23:05:14 GMT
Depends on the man who would be with me. I shall have to vote Oprah. You’re missing the whole point. |
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Post by alsomsknit on May 4, 2024 23:33:30 GMT
The response of the men who refuse to believe bear are the real answer are the same men we expect to respect a “no.” I think it’s best to avoid them.
So, yeah, I choose the bear.
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,832
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Post by gottapeanow on May 5, 2024 0:07:29 GMT
I have a few thoughts.
1. This TikTok made me cry.
https://www.tiktok.com/@ryan_dwire/video/7364561023795252522
2. I follow a lot of public pages where this was intensely discussed. The reaction from many men was very telling and predictable, in this order.
defensive
angry
name-calling
Which just made the point.
Thankfully, some men were very supportive.
3. I know of a talented and gorgeous 30-yr.-old woman who was just unalived in the woods on Sat., April 27. She has just filed for divorce. Her former husband said she unalived herself. (She did not.) My dear friends knew her personally, so this hits very close to home. She was not unalived by a bear.
The details surrounding this story are truly mind-boggling. This will probably be on Dateline or Netflix. Search hashtag JusticeForMica for more info.
Lisa
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Post by Embri on May 5, 2024 0:11:50 GMT
Grizzly or polar bear, I'd pick the man.
Any other kind? The bear.
Bears don't want to be around humans, they don't purposely stalk or hunt people, they just want our tasty food and garbage or to defend their young. If they hear you coming, they'll GTFO. But I agree a man's response to this thought puzzle is very, very telling of their character.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,621
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on May 5, 2024 0:51:52 GMT
Depends on the man who would be with me. I shall have to vote Oprah. If you met a stranger in the woods or a bear, who would you be more scared of? The man is not your DH, dad, son etc. |
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milocat
Drama Llama
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Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on May 5, 2024 0:53:01 GMT
Other. A bear can maul you to death. A man can rape you. Neither are good. To me, they are one in the same. Someone in the article said the worst a bear can do is kill you. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 5, 2024 4:18:21 GMT
In spite of the fact that I’m married to a great guy, I’m still picking the bear. I’ve had way too many situations IRL where I’ve felt like I had to watch my back because some rando creep was following me, watching me, catcalling, etc. Just last week some creeper followed some kids who were walking down the road into a store the next town over from our cabin, targeted a little girl in the group, waited until she was in an aisle alone and asked her if she would touch him if he exposed himself. 😳 Thankfully she had the wherewithal to scream and run away to find the other kids she was with. It’s insane how much of this BS we as women and girls have to deal with.
ETA: The bear won’t ever have evil intentions. It’s a bear operating on instinct. Yeah, it might kill you but you know up front it could be dangerous. With the man, you just never know. They can present themselves neatly and appear totally harmless so you’re completely caught off guard when they’re not. They can come from nice families, live in nice areas, drive a nice car and still be a completely evil creeper.
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Post by lesserknownpea on May 5, 2024 9:50:39 GMT
dillonmichaelwhite One of my favorite IG accounts, a lawyer I follow for his usually humorous takes on family and life, has made THREE videos on this issue, and they are so good they give me chills.
As a SA and DV survivor, bear all the way.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,036
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Post by Sarah*H on May 5, 2024 12:49:57 GMT
I asked my husband this question about our daughter (he was at the time not aware of the online discussion) and he looked at me in horror and said "um, neither?"
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,036
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Post by Sarah*H on May 5, 2024 12:50:52 GMT
I asked my husband this question about our daughter (he was at the time not aware of the online discussion) and he looked at me in horror and said "um, neither?"
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,791
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 5, 2024 16:31:16 GMT
I'm picking the bear every single time.
The men getting butt hurt about this....why I'm picking the bear every single time.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,711
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on May 5, 2024 17:02:05 GMT
At least people would believe me if i reported being attacked by a bear, they would likely attempt to find and punish the bear, and the bear is only going to kill me. None if that happened when I was raped at 14, the church and police told me if he had that much trouble getting my jeans off they must have been too tight.
Even the Bible thinks I'm better off with a mama bear missing her cubs.
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Post by withapea on May 5, 2024 18:14:03 GMT
I was raped by the golden all American boy and no one would ever think that HE could be a rapist. I choose bear. If a bear kills me, that’s the worst, it’s natural and would probably be quick. There are too many types of men who would do harm. Not to mention that some men will act “out of character” if presented the opportunity. Yeah, “not all men” but too many of them. I married a wonderful man and he’s not outraged or offended by the bear/ man thing. He gets it. He understands patriarchy is detrimental to everyone.
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Gem Girl
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 29, 2014 19:29:52 GMT
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Post by Gem Girl on May 5, 2024 19:53:15 GMT
Picking a man assumes that the majority of men want to rape and kill you which I do not believe. I do not believe that, either; therefore, my choice is not based on that assumption. It is based on the potential for the man to be more likely to do so than the the bear.  |
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Gem Girl
Pearl Clutcher
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Posts: 2,686
Jun 29, 2014 19:29:52 GMT
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Post by Gem Girl on May 5, 2024 19:58:56 GMT
@stephdrebel I'm so sorry. Sending gentle hugs to 14-year-old you.
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 8,566
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on May 5, 2024 20:08:29 GMT
SA at a young age, harassed multiple times, happily married: I’m choosing a bear.
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