Body positivity, has it jumped the shark?

I agree that if someone posts openly about a topic then they are basically asking for comments, or likes/dislikes/etc.  They want interaction.  Which is why half the time or more I don't even believe what people post because I can't help but wonder if they are just posting what they know will get people going.

But I see a difference between someone posting a pic of their picnic and someone judging their food choices and someone posting specifically with some sort of lifestyle/fitness/health/diet/etc. in mind.

I was thinking more along the lines of the picnic--where someone is simply posting about an activity and someone else jumps on them about the food. 

I've had to unfollow a few dieticians/body positivity people on socials, because while the whole "love the body you are in" is great in theory - what if I don't?

Some of these people were making me feel guilty that I want to lose 50 pounds. I should probably lose 60-70 pounds. But I'd be thrilled with 50.

I don't love the body I'm in, I'm not comfortable in my own skin. But somehow I seem to lack the motivation to get off my ass and do something about it.

I have started though - I found out my cholesterol is high, so I've been to a dietician. She was really easy to chat with, and was not all "low fat here's the food pyramid" but more "lower carb, real foods, less processed, less sugar" kind of thing. So I've been one step at a time. Eliminating the processed stuff and aiming for more veggies/fibre in my day.

My irritation is with other people, that feel the need to comment on another persons choice of food(s), what someone else is eating or what someone else won't eat.

Specifically in regards to my repetitive eating.
I am extremely okay with my choices of food, and often I eat the same exact thing.
I have food issues. Texture (how it feels) and visual(how it looks). Some of it is psychological.
From the day I was born, I have been picky and only like certain foods. 
I can go days, weeks, months and be quite content and happy eating the exact same meal.
I order the exact same thing, every time.... at certain restaurants.
If I want to.....I have and will try something new. 

Other people (some but not all) have an issue and problem with this.
They try to shame me, guilt trip me, criticize me, make a scene about it, ridicule me about ir it, make fun of me about it, etc...  I have heard the comment "would it kill you to try something new?", "would it kill you to try a bite?", "you don't know what you're missing"....thousands of time throughout my life.
I HATE that some people try to "fix me" and  try to coerce or force (by putting me on the spot, making a scene, purposely embarrassing me......in front of others) into tasting something or trying one bite....it's NEVER going to happen, I will NOT be forced to try anything.

In a million years, I will never understand why my not eating something, why my not trying a bite of something, why my eating the same exact thing over and over and over, etc.....bothers some (but not all) people so much.

I am of the belief of.... I eat what I want to eat and other people eat what they want to eat......and everybody is happy.

I never ever expect anyone to cater to me and my food  and ways of eating.
I do like to know the name of a restaurant, before accepting an invite....so I can look up the menu. If there's nothing on the menu that I like or will eat....I politely decline the invite.

Shaming, making fun, coercing someone else about food.....is unacceptable.

I think because people can see someone’s weight, they feel confident in judging their health. I hate the you-can’t-be-obese-and-be-healthy comments. They aren’t really true. Extra weight causes stress on joints? Sure. So does running but we never tell runners they aren’t healthy. Extra weight taxes the heart? Sometimes. But so does being too skinny, malnourished, smoking…..you cannot judge a person’s health status by their weight. I have plenty of obese patients with perfect cholesterol and A1C, and plenty of skinny ones whose labs are awful. I’m not sure why we like to judge, maybe to feel superior? I don’t know. But we can’t judge and we shouldn’t. Not our business. As for food choices, there aren’t any good foods or bad foods. There are more and less nutrient rich foods. I heard about the “anti nutrient” thing recently and people who don’t eat vegetables because of these anti nutrients and I just rolled my eyes. If someone is given dietary restrictions by a doctor or nutritionist, that’s between them and their doc. And I don’t want o hear anyone say anything about how they could never eat my lunch because they are too healthy. My sister in law limits how much fruit her kids can eat. Do I think that’s extreme? Yep. But it’s none of my business.

Now if your “brand” is fitness or nutrition you’re posting on social people, people are allowed to comment. That’s what those people are looking for-engagement. If a friend loses weight and I know they’d like a compliment they get it. A stranger doesn’t get appearance compliments unless it’s something they actively did, like their hair style or clothing choices. No one really wants to hear why I think anyway!

I agree with the first part - way too many people feel entitled to say, “I’m sharing this because I’m concerned about your health” in the absence of any actual individual health data, when what they really mean is, “I think you’re too fat and feel this is an acceptable way for me to say it.”

And it’s not.

The other issue I have with people giving diet advice online is that ten different people will say you’re doing ten different things wrong. You can post your meal plan and daily calories/exercise and say you’re not losing. One person will say that you need to be doing fasting, another will say to reduce carbs, another will say you need to be WFPB, another one will say to cut your daily calories from 1200 to 800, and another will say eat a caveman diet. And none of this advice may be right for you, but people will swear up and down that you must not really care about losing weight/being healthy if you don’t do what they say.

Diet culture counts on this. If diets worked, we wouldn’t have people claiming thirteen different things about how to lose weight. And of course their advice rarely includes important things like reducing stress and getting enough sleep, because they can’t monetize those things.

If you have health issues, please consult a doctor about how to treat or reverse them. No fitness model on IG cares about your actual health. They’re only about appearance, and a lot of that is determined by genetics anyway.

I haven't ever heard of this. Thank you for sharing this information. I am going to read more about it.
There are a couple other peas who are similar to me eating wise. I can't recall the names, but I hope they see your post as well.

It really isn’t about how you look. I would definitely say that how you present yourself to the world definitely matters! How you present yourself tells others how you want to be treated, what you expect to have others perceive you as being in personality, abilities, attitudes, outlook, etc. Your looks and your self presentation are two entirely, noncomparable things! If you really believe there is no difference, YOU need to do some self re-evaluating!

I'm 65 and I put myself on my first diet when I was in the second grade. Even that early I got a lot of body shaming from my parents. My mother had her own weight issues which trickled down to me. So this, plus the early 60s icons like Twiggy and other attitudes in the media at that time have colored my views on how I look at my and others' bodies. Years of doing hard work on my food, weight and eating disorder issues and I'm still here. Old attitudes apparently die hard.

Lots of judge-y thoughts go through my head when I see overweight people, which is my eating disorder talking, but I never comment about anyone's appearance or weight loss. But it's not all judge-y thoughts. I remember what it felt like, how exhausting it was to walk around with all that excess weight, how hurtful people could be, and I feel empathy, but I also think that people are kidding themselves that everything is A-OK. I think it's really more of a big F/U to a world that is so cruel to overweight people.

I've been on the end of compliments, which are excruciating because I can't stand having attention on me. And the idea that I'm physically smaller, but still the same person and people treat me differently used to enrage me. I've been on the other end of bullying and because I've been morbidly obese, it's allowed me to compare my treatment looking like that vs being a "normal" weight. Being morbidly obese is like being invisible, yet glaringly visible at the same time.

I've lost 100 pounds at least 4 times throughout my life. I currently am 25 pounds up from my lowest "healthy" adult weight, which was in college. I've maintained this weight +/- 10 pounds for years. I've damaged my body with my extreme eating in my younger years, and now I'm having to face the consequences. Things like sugar and popcorn give me heart palpitations, other substances like wheat and wheat products make my joints hurt. I've gotten to the point where I'd rather feel good than eat fast food and processed food. I've mentioned several times over the years that I put myself on a quite restricted "clean" diet for 5 years, which was difficult, but totally reset my relationship to food, and the need to take responsibility for my own health. I still occasionally dive into a pint of ice cream, but most of the time, I eat whole, non-processed foods because it's worth it to feel good. When I think of all the time I spent years ago, non-functional, with food hangovers from sugary products and fast food makes me sad.

Even if you recognise how hard it is for someone to lose weight, many people don't want you to comment on their bodies at all. I HATE it when someone makes a comment on my weight for so many reasons, even if they think I look good. If someone in person says they've lost weight and are looking for comments, then they are inviting them, otherwise nope. 

And you don't know the reason either - I lost weight after a life altering medical event and even people who knew about it made comments about my weight loss! Some even said "what's your secret?"   

I love that there are "body positivity" people, because as a person who has been told her entire life "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips" and other lovely comments, some of the things I've seen/read have helped me not be such a toxic person to my children. Or at least I hope so. I think everything has the absolute power to turn toxic, but that seems to be the way things are.

We went to a water park yesterday and the number of people who were "letting it all hang out" would've elicited comments from my parents, but all I could think was "wow, good for them for being comfortable and enjoying this day". Even in recent years, I have seen a difference in people at our local pool that feel comfortable enough to wear a swimsuit and not cover up.

We don't know people's medical history or what they're going through, as has been mentioned. Even medical doctors aren't all well versed on nutrition. It's all based on some archaic weight charts that don't track anything other than pounds. My Dad has smoked for over 50 years, retired over a year ago, and lost his mother this past December. His doctor commented he'd lost ~10lbs this year and to "keep up the good work". Well... I'd rather have a few extra pounds than a pack a day smoking habit. I'd rather have my Mom alive than lose 10 lbs. None of that is factored in.. but the scale went in the other direction, so yay?

Our obsession with weight is the problem.