Body positivity, has it jumped the shark?

I am going to answer the first part now, about body positivity. Then the second part about diet/food.

I am back and forth about the body positivity movement.

Or one, everyone should feel good about themselves. Only your opinion of you matters. Enjoy that dress? Wear it!

With that though I think we allowed morbid obese persons to then go well I like who I am and continue down a path of self destruction.

Nothing about being over weight is good, as you mentioned.

Extra weight is bad on your bones.

Your organs.

Your muscles and tissues.

Your mental health.

You are at more risk for specific diseases.

You take away years from your life.

In some cases basic, simple surgeries are now high risk.

You spend more on clothing.

You typically have less energy.

We as a society have gotten away from seeing our bodies are a temple and trying out best to make sure we take care of it.

Business and convenience foods as well as sitting all day staring at screens and access to poor food choices has done a number on us as a society. Other countries do not have the issue of obesity like we do.

Look at all the fillers in food.

I am fully aware there are medical conditions that caused one to gain weight or make it extremely hard to loose.

And if we had the body positivity then why are people using weight loss meds? At such a high rate too.

Being thin isn't the answer either. A family member was a runner and vegan. They had early onset heart disease, really bad cholesterol issues, and other health problems. Looking at them you would never know because they are thin and muscular.

Fueling your body with appropriate nutrition is. Proper sleep. Proper movement to the ability you have.

Does a chocolate chip cookie satisfy a craving? Yes. But when you change your mind set to a different sweet, that can be a positive thing because you are filling your body with nutrients not fillers.

I think we need to move to proper nutrition ads, education, etc.

I want to add...

It shouldn't be about how you look and present yourself to the world.

It should be about the health and well being of your body.

In 1986 I started a diet which resulted in me losing 100 pounds in just over a year. I went to therapy to deal with my feelings about being told how great I looked. It still bothers me when people say that to someone who has lost weight. I think we, as a society, need to stop telling people how they look.

I often wonder if it is our aura that they see? Like we look good because we feel good?

I have noticed that about myself.

When I am moving and eating right, I do look good because I have a glow about me.

Just a thought.

And that is why I dont keep cookies in the house! 😂😂

You always start the most thought-provoking discussions, jeremysgirl.
I have so many thoughts on this topic, that are really all over the place. I definitely have body issues with myself. I was super skinny my entire life. As in so skinny that as a teen and even young adult, people were constantly commenting on my weight, which I HATED. People would say things to me all the time like "Eat a sandwich!" or even ask me if I was anorexic. (I wasn't. Guess I just had a really high metabolism) When I was in high school, my best friends boyfriend called me double back because I was as flat on the front as I was on the back. I ran track and my nickname was Bird because some mean girl yelled out that I looked like a bird when I was doing hurdles.
Those things really had an impact on my self esteem as a young person. I hated being skinny and felt like I looked terrible.
Then, I had kids. LOL I lost weight with each pregnancy except my last child, but my body was shaped differently, and I loved it. For the first time I didn't feel like a scrawny, skinny ugly person. After my last baby, I never really lost all the weight and for the first time in my life, I started gaining weight. (I had her when I was 35)

I liked the way I looked, but the older I got, the more weight I gained, and it was most noticeable in my stomach. Then, stupid people (Dad, looking at YOU!!) started making comments about me putting on weight. Once at a family reunion, in front of a bunch of people, he poked his finger in my stomach and said, "What is THAT??" He also once asked my daughter, who was 17 at the time, why she had put on so much weight.

It sucked.

In 2017 after some blood work showed my blood sugar being on the high side, I sort of panicked because diabetes runs in my dad's family. I went on a mission to eat healthy and lose some weight, and it worked. I was in my 50s, and it took me 8 months to lose 25 pounds. I loved the way I looked and swore there was NO way in hell I was going to gain that weight back.

I didn't until 2020 when the pandemic hit. I slowly developed some bad habits and started gaining weight back. Then, a year later, started discovering all the crap about my husband and his double life and I've gained even more weight. I am not right back where I started in 2017, and it makes me soooooo angry. I am more active now, I hike and walk more than I ever have so I feel healthier than I did back then, but I would love to take that weight back off.

I get so irritated sometimes with what I see on social media. People who are overweight and share their less than healthy meals are downright bullied. Especially if they are feeding the unhealthy things to their children. Others who feed them and their families the exact same food but are not overweight--I see comments like "you are such a good mom!" and other things like that.

I do follow some nutritionists on sm (at least they say they are. LOL) and I have gotten some good tips, but so often, I listen and watch them, and I think it is so complicated, and I don't have the motivation to keep up with it all. I do like to eat healthy, love all veggies, etc. But there is so much conflicting information out there that it is hard to really know what to do.

Sorry, I told you this would be all over the place! I do think there is a place for body positivity and trying to feel good about yourself no matter your weight or what you look like. I never ever comment on someone's weight, even if they have had a big loss, because I am hyper aware of how comments about weight can affect a person.

While you can be overweight and still be healthy, you cannot be obese and healthy. The wear and tear on your body will do damage over time. And I say this as someone who needs to lose weight. If someone in my life was constantly saying they feel sick, I would gently encourage them to change their diet. But I would never shame someone or make them feel bad about themselves.

I did a sugar/processed foods detox for 10 days last year. Those first few days I felt horrible! I was craving food so bad and felt sick. But by day 5, I was feeling amazing! All the joint pain was gone. The fatigue was gone. I had more energy. There is no doubt that the crap we eat in America is killing us. I have slowly slid back to old habits and I feel like crap again. I need to do another detox and get back to healthy eating.

Well, let me see how I answer this after consuming a McDouble and order of fries from Mickey D's. But hey, I had a diet coke, so balance right?

I have dealt with stuff like this my entire life. My grandmother was so vainly skinny. We know now she had an eating disorder. She was very cruel to my mother and brother who were overweight. Me, on the other hand, got to have the "favored" title because I was leggy and skinny. Along comes my DD, skinny all her life. So much focus was made on her body style. My mother would compare her and her cousin, who was on the plumper side. 

I am now an older mother of 3 and dealing with the stress of life for the last 10-15 years has now left me overweight. Per society and any doctor's chart. I am blessed beyond measure with my rheumatologist that just tells me to keep moving and to not focus on a number. I focus on the number though, because I know my health would be better. Most likely would be able to drop one med for high BP. I also take a cholesterol med but pretty sure that is hereditary(thanks dad).

We know now my DD had/has disordered eating. So I say nothing to her about her weight or body shape. I do think if someone posts on SM, then someone is going to push back on a food choice, body look. There will always be someone that will say something. Either out of malicious intent or ignorance. I know there are certain foods I shouldn't eat. When I am eating clean and doing the right things, I feel better. If I happen to be visiting my mom and we go out to eat or we are shopping and she asks if I want to get such and such I just say no. "oh yeah, you're eating all that weird stuff". That gets tiresome. It makes me think back to your thread about Jeremy supporting you due to your mom's non-caring of your choices. 

I think the superiority of food comes up every now and then with me. I find myself telling someone in my immediate family "no, I don't eat that. I make that at home now so I know what is in it." Could be to anyone on anything. Then I turn around and stuff my mouth with that lemon cake slice from WM that tastes just like Starbucks. I am my own worst enemy. I don't buy organic for most things. I don't find it necessary. I do follow someone on IG and she talks about shopping for her family and being so happy to find the market that has all organic, clean yada yada. Yeah, I do roll my eyes sometimes at that. 

I think a lot of this comes from I know what makes me feel better after I have spent 2-3 weeks eating trash due to caring for my DH. With that the bone numbing tiredness that came with all that. I didn't have the energy to buy the good stuff. Eat the good stuff. At this point, I am just tired when I get home and don't want to cook. Not even an egg or a slice of toast. It's a vicious vicious circle. 

Well, that is enough rambling. Hope I was able to answer some of your thoughts. 

That is very enlightening for me.  It would never occur to that I shouldn't compliment someone who had voluntarily lost weight.  I would think they would want to be recognized for the accomplishment.  I will be more mindful.  I am at an age though when I see someone has lost a lot of weight, I'm probably more worried than anything.  

I lost 28 lbs in about 7 months during my last summer/senior year of high school. Some people commented but most did not and I was disappointed when someone seemed not to notice.  I was really too thin but fortunately I gained some weight back in college. I looked and felt weight-wise the best of my life that first year out of college. Then I got married and gained a few pounds.  I kept that weight for most of the next 3 decades.  Losing a lot of weight in a short amount of time was risky.  I could have easily developed an eating disorder. However, for me it led to some good habits such as drinking water as my primary beverage. That was definitely not the norm in the 1980's.  

It isn't just weight we have to worry about with our eating choices.  You can be thin and have high cholesterol or any number of other problems that can be helped or harmed by diet.  It's tempting to think - well, I'll just take a pill for whatever problem we have - but that often leads to more problems.

Never heard any cardiologist say no fish or chicken, unless it's fried. I think they're (your husband's friends and family) just more taken aback than anything. And I would definitely not be living that way, I'll take my chances thanks. One can't live forever.

This is what I do. I don’t think that it’s my place to comment-especially negatively-about food choices that others make. Of course I have opinions, but again, I assume that most people know when they are eating something unhealthy. I would probably say something like “That looks great” about cantaloupe, which I love.

If I am shopping with a friend and they ask my opinion, I will give it. But I tend to say that I don’t think that it’s flattering and leave it at that.

It never occurred to me not to compliment someone for losing weight. I like people to notice when I lose a few pounds. I will remember not to do that any more.