Updated with new article NYT: Gen Z has regrets

This is such a valid point.  

I enjoy the internet and my time online. That said, I grew up in the 60s and spent lots of time outdoors building forts and getting skinned knees, so I have no idea what it will be like for kids like my grandkids who grew up with their faces in a phone.  I do recall my son and his friends were obsessed with video games and I was worried about that. 

One concern I have about taking action is that, in my recollection, when I tried to raise my son without the toy guns all his friends had, he became fascinated with them and turned everything (his finger, Legos, sticks) into pretend guns.  Finally I let him have a gun and the fascination went away almost immediately.  Not sure if doing the same with the internet will make it seem more fascinating.  

Interesting discussion!

Ironically, I received a news alert in my email that Instagram is trying to implement new settings that will automatically make millions of teen accounts private and restrict what kinds of content they can view on the app. CNN Breaking News.

Hope this link works: link

My daughter in her 30’s recently said the same thing!

Y - I think this is absolutely not just a children problem.  The negative impacts are on anyone with access.  I do think that there is goodness to be had from all of it.  I really mean that.  The baby center message board I was on when I had my kids was a literal life line to me at times.  I love this message board and the OG one.  I am thankful for those connections.  I LOVE during December Daily seeing all of the inspiration on the blog and on instagram. I would miss that.  AND, AND, I think the algorithm is out of control.  I do miss the early days of instagram when I just saw posts from the people I followed and it was mostly art, photography and craft community.  Both my kids are Gen Z and agree things are out of control, but also they very ways their generation communicate - group texts, group-mes, DMing inside of apps, its part of the fabric of life.  I think the dopamine hits tied into the current way the social apps work is a big problem - for me included.  

How to change things...I think the companies owning and running the apps need to be regulated in the ways that the algorithm feeds info to people.  I do think schools limiting access during the day is a good thing - my kids were at a private school and they did this and I am thankful. Both are in college now and I think they learned how to focus on school work in HS because of that.  I do think societal norms influence us.  And I do think I probably need to reign in my own use.  Its just so easy to get lost on your phone and before you know it, an hour is gone.

Baby Boomer here who has regrets for spending too much time on social media in the past 20 years.   I look at the size of my stashe(s) - a good bit of which was enabled by social media - and now realize how much more I could have created/made in the time wasted on social media.   It's not 100% bad - there are family and friends I've reconnected with that would not have happened without social media - but I do have regrets.

One thing I notice about the GenZ around me is they are actively spending less time on social media.  The number of them taking up needlepoint, knitting, quilting to avoid screen time seems to be growing.  Even Mahjong groups are growing in that age group.  The owner of a local needlepoint store said that she hears many of them say they don't want their babies and young children to see them using screens as much, as part of their efforts to give the children less screen time.  

I spend time on social media because it is toxic, full of ads, and mostly spam. I read comments on a NY Times article and half the responses are spam. So much junk.

OMG my mom (she's 70) texting me and the kids at 1 am, during school, while we're driving...  Check out this video I found!  Ugh.  

I quit volunteering for my elementary PTA because someone (the now president) refused to use email and would do everything via text, and group chat.  Email I can deal with when I want, the text was like "must drop everything and answer NOW."  My phone is now so much quieter.    

At the moment there aren’t enough   to express how I feel about technology.  i bought a new car last week and I am so done with trying to figure out to turn off the beep for one feature, how to set it to beep for another. The salesman spent almost a hour going over it all but my brain shut down after 20 minutes.  Just to add insult to injury the owners manual is worthless, you need to go on the internet to get a complete manual.  Technology, bah humbug!

My face when I saw kindergarteners with cell phones was completely out of my control.

Now, we decided to get my 3 kids a phone that doubles as our landline. My children also range in age from HS Freshman to upper elementary, too. It's a balancing act and I absolutely hate it. Then again, my son will go out to play with friends and will be told so-and-so can't play outside because "there's mud". /boggle Our HOA decided this past spring that the neighborhood kids playing inside the unused basketball court was cause for concern and basically came up with a long list of rules telling them they can't play in there. So, the number of spaces for children has decreased significantly as well (which I know we've discussed before).

My other thing about "no phones in school" is that all last week our district (and surrounding) had all these rumors flying about threats at the schools. This, again, catches on like wildfire because of SM, but then there's the real chance there is a threat, and I am 100% on board for my child to have access to their phone in that instance. I am also 100% against them using them in class. I know that cannot be easy for teachers either.

Our district is implementing a "no phones" policy for Elementary and Middle school, but HS can use "at teacher's discretion". It's going over like a lead balloon.

   We agree on something! 

Call me old but my refrigerator doesn't need to talk to me and definitely does not need a TV on the door, my washing machine doesn't need to text me when it's done with a load, I don't need Alexa to turn on the damn lights.  I'm so sick of having to download an app for everything.  It would be wonderful if we could get back to the "base model" on something.

Now back to the topic of the OP.  The internet is a great thing when used wisely.  That being said, a lot of the social media/technology impacts on kids starts with the parents.  How many just drop an iPad in their kids lap at a restaurant table? How many allow scrolling of phones at the dinner table?  How many NEVER just have a conversation with their kids? How many just hand over an iPhone with zero supervision, even thru high school?

While some of it is societal and the ever changing evolution of technology, most of the problems stem from the lack of decent parenting.

Flame away.

Both linked articles below are graphic, caution advised,

It was the technology in a car used by a murderer that helped convict him. I was quite taken back by all the info the car was sending back to the manufacturer. But, at least, it caught a killer.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-51466273

There is a court case currently ongoing in France that highlights the absolute horror of the internet, bringing together people who are intent on their own desires without regard for others. The main suspect is 71, he used the internet to help cause harm. The story speaks for itself, my point in bringing it here is that it's not just gen z we should be worried about.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2kdd3n7yqo

There have always been murders, rapes, abuse etc. The internet really helps those involved to connect as never before, it's hugely concerning.

This is before we mention misinformation, scaremongering, gossip etc.

I like lots of things about the internet, especially what it adds to my crafting hobbies, medical info, sport, comedy etc but damn, the negatives are big.

If it is your DD on the phone, she is setting a poor example for her DD.

I live in an older neighborhood that has become very popular with young families. One of my frequent complaints is that I see these young moms pushing strollers daily...with their heads their phones just scrolling away. Makes me want to open the door and scream PUT THE D@MN PHONE DOWN! I don't though as I am civilized.  

With their heads in the phone they are not fully aware of any dangers on their walk (stray dogs, crazy drivers, etc).  But they are also missing out on precious time to interact with their children.   Talking to them helps them to build their language skills and knowledge - even when they are tiny babies.  Phone addiction is real.   

I'm not anti-technology but I am selective - I was a late adopter of the cell phone (late 2015 when my son went to boot camp so I wouldn't miss a potential call) and while I do have and use my iphone - it's not the newest and greatest, it's an 11 that replaced a 6. My kids did NOT get cell phones until much later than their peers and not the newest and greatest either - they did get younger as the 'need' for tech increased. DS32 was 16 for his first phone, DD24 was 13 and DD17 was also. They received them primarily for our convenience - they were spending more time away from us with friends, Girl Scouts, school activities, and needed to call for rides and the like.

We enforced the no social media until 13 rule and only allowed FB at that time with the proviso that they friend us and ONLY friend people they knew in real life. DD24 ended up with Twitter in late high school because teachers used it to communicate (!) but that was all she used it for and she still really doesn't use it. DD17 recently picked up Discord because her friend group communicates that way. But other than that, no social media as under 18s and truthfully none of the 3 use much more than FB chat and the occasional Discord group. We limited screen time (TV, video games, computer) when they were small but trusted them to make good choices as they got older and for the most part - they did. They knew we would and did step in if we saw a problem though. I definitely use social media much more than my kids do - here and Facebook only though.

I don't want or have Alexa, smart appliances, Siri, Ring doorbells etc... nor do my kids. But we've also cultivated a lifestyle where that's not needed. I do appreciate tech and social media - it allows me to stay in touch with my kids once they leave home. When I was 16 and went overseas for 3 weeks alone - my parents got one (very expensive, very short) phone call that I arrived safely and a couple of postcards. When DD24 went to Europe on a school trip, I got sent photos daily. When DS32 was in Japan for 3.5 years - we kept in touch on FB chat (with NO expectation of instant replies - he would text during his day and I would text during mine). He's deployed again now and he's been able to phone on FB Chat a couple of times. Love that!

I am seeing a lot of pushback from my kids and their peers - they want actual books, DVDs, CDs not ebooks and streaming. They prefer to meet up with friends in person - but the lack of places to do that and for my girls, the lack of a driver's license, makes online socialising easier. And TBH, I'm on the same bench except all my friends live on the computer