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Post by cmpeter on Sept 21, 2024 16:59:57 GMT
Any tips?
My soon to be daughter in law’s mom and the aunt who raised her have both passed away. She’s asked me to go wedding dress shopping with her. We have an appointment tomorrow at a salon in Seattle. Any tips? Dh and I eloped, so I have zero experience in this area.
I have told her that I want to buy her dress (she was talking about getting an old prom dress altered)…and we’ve discussed budget. They are planning an outdoor wedding in September 2025.
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Post by nightnurse on Sept 21, 2024 17:14:46 GMT
My advice is for her to have a style in mind but be flexible, sometimes what you think you wanted doesn’t look as good on. Don’t try on anything out of budget. Have plenty of time for the appointment. Eat before you go. She should wear the appropriate undergarments and style of shoe to get a full approximation. It’s supposed to be fun! When I’m the helper, I wait for a cue from the try on-er before sharing my opinion. If I hate a dress, I will say that, always blaming the dress and never saying things like “oh that doesn’t look on you” (not that I think you’d do that!) it’s ok to not find a dress the first time. Most are non refundable so be confident in the choice before putting down a deposit.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 21, 2024 17:37:11 GMT
Good advice above.
Has she looked at any dresses online? For any hints of what she likes?
What is her normal style? Is she casual in dress or very structured. Jeans v serious office attire? Is she looking for fairy tale type or comfortable?
Have a great time together.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 21, 2024 17:49:56 GMT
Ask if she has a particular style in mind. Ask if she is open to trying other styles. Have her show you pictures of what she has in mind.
And focus on the dress when offering critiques. Follow her lead. If she clearly loves a dress, dont spoil that for her
I would also ask her how honest she wants you to be with her.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 21, 2024 18:00:17 GMT
Yay congratulations! I would visit at least three local boutiques- how fun. Do you have your dress picked out yet??  |
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Post by flanz on Sept 21, 2024 18:34:57 GMT
Aw, how fun. I think it says a lot about your relationship with her that she invited you to share in this experience with her!
I love the advice you're received so far.
If she wants to go simple and low budget, our DD had a lovely, above the knee dress tailored for her via Etsy. The seamstress was in Australia or New Zealand. She spent around $250 and the dress was so perfectly "her" and perfect for their small wedding in a redwood grove in California.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 21, 2024 19:01:16 GMT
She’s edgy in an Avril Lavigne style. It sounds like she wants a black dress.
She’s done quite a bit of online research and picked this particular shop because they have a number of the dresses she saw online that she can try on.
I haven’t even thought about what I want to wear. I’ll need to get her thoughts on colors and styles.
Great tips. I’ve got dh on tap to make us all breakfast tomorrow. They live in Portland and are coming tonight.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 21, 2024 19:02:22 GMT
Smile and nod.
Let her be the guide and you are there to say "how beautiful!"
And, if the salesperson is particularly helpful, it's the current trend to tip them. (I'm sorry if this opens up a can of worms, but I'm not lying.)
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Post by gar on Sept 21, 2024 20:12:33 GMT
Smile and nod. Let her be the guide and you are there to say "how beautiful!" I found it helpful to be guided in my reaction by how she smiled (or otherwise) as she stepped out of the dressing room in the gown. Does she love it or is she unsure? If she adores it then don’t say anything negative- you can be a little vague or unspecific if necessary 😊 Encourage her to be open to trying things she might not think she likes initially - it can be eye opening when they actually put them on 😊 Have fun! |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 21, 2024 20:20:45 GMT
Smile and nod. Let her be the guide and you are there to say "how beautiful!" I found it helpful to be guided in my reaction by how she smiled (or otherwise) as she stepped out of the dressing room in the gown. Does she love it or is she unsure? If she adores it then don’t say anything negative- you can be a little vague or unspecific if necessary 😊 Encourage her to be open to trying things she might not think she likes initially - it can be eye opening when they actually put them on 😊 Have fun! my first question to my dd#1 every time she walked out was "what do you think?" And I will say that I knew right away with my dress and we knew as soon as she walked out of the room she had found "the one." There was just a different look on her face. |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 21, 2024 20:23:20 GMT
I have all boys but I have gotten to go wedding dress shopping for others twice - my husband’s niece (her mom wouldn’t go because she was marrying another woman) and one of my daughters-in-law (we did the whole limo ride, winery, say yes to the dress day!).
I agree to take your cue from HER reaction to each dress. Support her vision, not yours. And if you are fortunate enough to get an experienced salesperson at the bridal salon, their guidance can be invaluable. Often what the bride thought she wanted is different from what they encourage her to try and their choice can end up looking fabulous.
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 21, 2024 20:39:46 GMT
I don't have any advice other than what has already been said (take cues from her, encourage trying on different styles, etc.), I just wanted to add how awesome that she asked you to go with her.  |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 21, 2024 20:42:41 GMT
I have all boys but I have gotten to go wedding dress shopping for others twice - my husband’s niece (her mom wouldn’t go because she was marrying another woman) and one of my daughters-in-law (we did the whole limo ride, winery, say yes to the dress day!). I agree to take your cue from HER reaction to each dress. Support her vision, not yours. And if you are fortunate enough to get an experienced salesperson at the bridal salon, their guidance can be invaluable. Often what the bride thought she wanted is different from what they encourage her to try and their choice can end up looking fabulous. totally agree. My dd thought she wanted a different color than white and a very non-traditional silhouette - and ended up with white in a somewhat non traditional dress, but not really. You just never know! |
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Post by VanC on Sept 21, 2024 21:40:24 GMT
Tell her not to be afraid to add whatever she needs to personalize the whole day to them.
My little Brother and Sister in Law got married last year in August and it was the most fun I've had in years and it was so "them". I don't think Bruce has worn long pants since my DH's funeral in January 2007 so bets were made on what he'd wear. All the guys were in Black Bermuda shorts with Black & a solid colour Bowling shirts He had Red and black sneakers on. Tears were pouring down his face when he came down the aisle to the Airplane song from the Wedding Singer "I want to Grow Old with You."
The Flower girl was the old lady who had been his Landlord for 20 years during his Bachelor days with her walker covered in flowers
Bethany didn't wear a big veil but her sleeveless white gown had a lacey bodice and was ballet length dress with a full petticoat with little red bows and red high heels, she changed into Keds with lace ties for the dancing.
There was a whole skit with the Rings that involved TP stuck to the shoes and in the back of the ushers shorts with a lunch box chain handcuffed inside there was a selection of gaudy costume and ring pops before the real ones
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 22, 2024 2:39:09 GMT
Thank you so much guys. Really appreciate the tip about tips...will bring some extra cash for sure.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Sept 22, 2024 4:10:50 GMT
Take pictures |
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,156 
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Post by camcas on Sept 22, 2024 10:56:52 GMT
I was invited to go with my now DIL as her parents live overseas
I used my iPad to include her mum
It was wonderful.
I really found I could tell by her body language and the look on her face if she liked the dress and felt comfortable in it .
Of course she really looked fabulous in everything
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,778
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Post by anniebeth24 on Sept 22, 2024 12:55:50 GMT
Enjoy the experience!
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Post by Hayjaker on Sept 22, 2024 15:24:07 GMT
Also, given the very most important people in her life (mom and aunt) are not there EXPECT TEARS.
I would expect she will be happy, but sad also. Dress shopping with your mom is a special thing and with her loss, the emotions may be big and confusing.
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Post by librarylady on Sept 22, 2024 16:44:35 GMT
My niece included me when she and her mom (my sister) came to Dallas and made the bridal gown stores. It was a fun day.
FF to when my DS was getting married. His fiance' came to Dallas and wanted to shop, so she and I went to several stores and she tried on gowns. Her parents did not have a wedding, just were married in whatever the Canadian word for Justice of Peace office might be. This was almost a year before the wedding. Eventually she purchased a gown over the internet that someone was selling. It looked great and was much more economical than a new dress.
I think trying on several styles gave her an idea of what she wanted.
It was a learning experience for me. In my family everyone had a wedding of some sort and I was surprised to learn that in her family no one had weddings, they just went and got married.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 23, 2024 0:44:04 GMT
We had an absolutely lovely time and she came away saying "yes" to the dress. :-)
The shop was TINY. One wall of dresses. And one person there to help us. But, they had about a dozen in black and others in white that could be ordered in black.
She first tried on the one she thought would be her favorite. Then tried on a few others that were black. The sales lady suggested she try one that they had in white, but also came in black. That ended up being her favorite and we made a purchase! She was just giddy with joy.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 23, 2024 0:47:04 GMT
  So...imagine the white dress in black. :-) They found a lovely wedding venue while here too. www.evergreenmeadowsvenue.com/It's going to be so much fun helping them plan and it will be hard to wait a year for the wedding! |
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Post by flanz on Sept 23, 2024 0:54:19 GMT
Such a wonderful update! I'm guessing it's pretty rare to find "the" dress on a first outing! And a venue at the same time? Wow!
Both are beautiful. I am very happy for all of you!
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Post by mom on Sept 23, 2024 0:58:15 GMT
I love that you went with her and offered to buy her dress! What a lovely gift to her! I think the dress she picked is beautiful and very edgy!
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Post by ntsf on Sept 23, 2024 1:05:48 GMT
I went wedding dress shopping with my now daughter in law.. it was fun and I was honored to help out ...course I supplied the transportation!!
she found a choice in hour and was very happy. her mom was across the country and her mom kept giving her grief for not marrying in the church. I got her a custom headpiece.. made with artificial flowers that had been used by 4 generations in my family. went to a milliner..
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 23, 2024 1:22:09 GMT
She is going to be missing her mom and aunt like crazy this day. Acknowledge it sometime before you go or on that day. Tell her how much her mom/aunt would have loved the dress she picked. One of the worst things about losing my mom so young is that very few people I know now ever acknowledge she existed. She was everything to me.
Make it a fun day. Be honest and open with what you think after you can tell how she feels about a dress. Also tell her she looks absolutely lovely with whatever she picks. It is her day.
I love that she is asking you to go with her. Such a big day for her.
I got to go dress shopping with one daughter-in-law and she had five of us there. Everyone was on the same page with what we said. I think it made her more confident. The other DIL went with her mom while I got to go with my son to pick out a rock. Literally a rock. They got married in Garden of the Gods on a big rock. It was so fun to do that as well.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 23, 2024 1:36:51 GMT
Beautiful dress! Beautiful bride to be!!
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hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,600
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Post by hutchfan on Sept 23, 2024 3:03:16 GMT
Lovely dress! She will be stunning on their big day!🖤
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Post by gar on Sept 23, 2024 7:52:24 GMT
That’s quite a result in one day!and she looks fabulous 😊
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Sept 23, 2024 9:18:27 GMT
She sure has the figure for that dress and it is beautiful.
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