A Thread About Menopause

I'm going to write a book about it all. It's something no one ever talked about when I was growing up. They still don't.

I only have hot flashes and mood swings to go by, since I had a hysterectomy at 39.

I've been mulling over my book idea since finishing reading On All Fours. Or maybe it's just All Fours.
Anyway, I have a lot to say about it and the topic seems wide open. I want to write The Judy Blume menopause book.

Are You There God, It's Me Kelly
Which fits since almost everyone with this name was born in the 60s/70s and we could all use this.

Mine was relatively easy. At 33 I had a partial hysterectomy, leaving ovaries. Which was probably unnecessary, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. My last baby was 9 lbs 15 oz. Normal birth. So I did need bladder work in addition.

Started menopause at 51, doctor said I was right on time. Hot flashes were my only complaint. I took no hormones or meds. It lasted about 2 years. Symptoms getting better second year.

My oldest dd is 52 and started. She’s had no hysterectomy. She said she couldn’t handle it and is taking some sort of hormone therapy that she says is working. Heaven help us when her sister goes through this.

I talk about it at work. Some of my co-workers are younger than me and I want them to hear about it. I want to share what I learned. I wish older women before me felt safe enough to share. But they were gaslit by doctors and were told to suck it up. I do not want the younger generation to feel that way.

My periods have been irregular for the past year. The hot flashes were awful. I felt awful. At my annual checkup my doctor said "you don't have to suffer" and prescribed HRT for me. She ran bloodwork and said I was in menopause, even though I was experiencing an occasional period. So I started HRT and OMG I felt so much better! But it has made my periods even more irregular. I went back to the doctor because I was worried and she said it's not unusual to experience light spotting in the first 6 months of starting HRT. Well just like she said, the spotting has finally stopped.

So remember that you don't have to suffer. Talk to your doctor. Remember you aren't crazy. This is a normal part of life and no one should shame you for it. Hang in there!

Wanted to add that today my 38 year old co-worker confided in me that she was worried she might be perimenopausal. She came to me because I'm always open about my experiences. So the more we talk about it openly, the more it helps other women!

Well obviously those with no complaints won't complain or write a book.

But those of us who have struggled mightily might feel better knowing how many women just don't say anything about it because they don't want to be seen as dried up withered crones. It's a real thing.

I do remember freezing, putting on my warm fleece pj bottoms - putting on my warm fleece pj top. Immediately burning up, taking off my warm fleece pj top - taking off my warm fleece pg bottoms. One continuous movement.

I'm a couple of years past my last period, and I didn't have a terrible time with wacky cycles before.

But, good gravy, the hot flashes. Multiple times a day. Every day. I'm ready for this to end.

The perimenopause and menopause experience make us all wonder if we're normal. And how long it will last. I don't have hot flashes - just night sweats occasionally. My friend who recently realized she has entered the octagon perimenopause told me her mother is still getting hot flashes well into her 60s. All we can tell you, OP, is that we don't know how long it will last. For some women it's like a dud firework. It gets lit and sizzles a bit as it burns down and then no big boom. It just kind of dies out. For other women it's a roller coaster that lasts years and years. I can't complain much since I started HRT. I do have some weird symptoms but I had a hysterectomy at 38 so no period to help me gauge anything. 

jeremysgirl that's great that your mental health is in such a great place.

Talk to your doctor about HRT, sometimes called BHRT or MHT - bioidentical hormone therapy or menopause hormone therapy. If you have a uterus you have to go on progesterone, but there are advantages to being on it even if you don't have a uterus. Progesterone is given as a capsule. You want progesterone not progestine, which is common in things like. Estrogen can be given as a patch or a cream, it can also be given vaginally. You can be on both vaginal and systemic estrogen.

Perimenopause is 5-10 years before menopause. The average age of menopause is 51. But can be 45-55. So you can have perimenopause symptoms as young as 35. Menopauseis the 1 day 365 days after your last period. Post menopause is the rest of your life. So with your symptoms you definitely are in perimenopause. All that can definitely be lumped into the term menopause.

It's so sad it's not talked about and we don't even understand all these symptoms, phases, treatments. Finally there seems to be talk starting about it.

I've done so much reading on this the past couple years.

I get no mental health symptoms from estrogen. It doesn’t help hot flashes but it fixed the other discomfort I was experiencing. Things in the lady parts are loving the hormones. I hated the pill and it made me suicidal but estrogen is just awesome.

I had hot flashes for a few years, then my periods became erratic. And then, they just...stopped. The exact date the world shut down for Covid was the last period I had.

Mine was pretty uneventful. I'm 50 now. My last kid was born at 42- I was racing the clock- my mom was into post-menopause at 43! My periods spaced out more and more over a few years starting at 44, the didn't get worse, just seemed to fade into the sunset. My last period was June something 2022, I was 48. My whole life I've had anxiety. As my hormones dwindled, I had less and less. I attributed it to therapy that I did in 2022 but I'm thinking it was my hormones leaving my body. ZERO regrets on that one!

Now, the hot flashes and night sweats can go straight to hell and never come back! Those are legit my only complaint. I was waking up regularly with night sweats so I was put on clonidine. I did that for a few years (46ish to 48ish) and it quit working so I tried to just ride it out. It wasn't fun but I sucked it up for 2 years not wanting to go on HRT due to my mom's breast cancer (which she recovered from but still...). Right after my 50th birthday, my GYN and I had a chat and she told me to try upping my soy and start on evening primrose oil. Soy added to my anxiety so that was a no go. The evening primrose oil minimally helped. I tried both for 2 months and told her I needed something else. She suggested amberen or estroven. I started estroven the beginning of September this year, it's ok. I have less hot flashes during the day and seem to only have night sweats when I first get in bed (going from cold to warm) and when I wake up in the morning. I think I wake up right as it's happening most of the time. I'll finish out this round of estroven and talk to my gyn again about maybe doing HRT. There are good benefits of it so it's not really an issue for me like it was. I for sure still get times when I get toasty and need to remove a layer but I'm not dripping in sweat like I was. At night, I throw off the blankets and cool off and then snuggle back in and go back to sleep. (I'm having a heat surge right now actually- LOL)