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Post by librarylady on Nov 11, 2024 19:37:37 GMT
I always try to spend about the same amount on each child and their spouse. Grandchildren get same amounts spent on them. Here is where the problem comes in.... If I find an item on sale, do I figure the normal price or the on sale price?
One DIL almost uses a calculator to make sure she got what the amount the other got.
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Post by Linda on Nov 11, 2024 19:41:12 GMT
I don't stress about it - we buy what we think they would like and some years, someone gets something more expensive than someone else and that's okay (because all of my kids have had their turn at being the someone).
For your DIL? Honestly that screams gift card or cheque.
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Post by Lurkingpea on Nov 11, 2024 19:42:46 GMT
Lord, that is extremely tacky of anyone to be worried about that so obviously that you can tell. I also try to keep it even for my children and grandchildren but don't stress about it too terribly much. I do the actual MRSP, meaning NOT the sale price.
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lindas
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Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Nov 11, 2024 20:02:48 GMT
Easiest way to solve that problem is to give everyone a gift card for your set amount. Exception to that being the young children. No shopping, no worrying if you got the right size or color or style. No returns need to be done and nothing goes on the donate pile.
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christinec68
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Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Nov 11, 2024 20:05:13 GMT
We keep the dollar amount the same but we don't make ourselves crazy over it.
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Post by aprilfay21 on Nov 11, 2024 20:07:24 GMT
We buy what they want/need/would like, and try to keep numbers similar, especially for the smaller ones, but sometimes we may spend double on one kid what we spent on the others because that's just the gifts they wanted.
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Gennifer
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Post by Gennifer on Nov 11, 2024 20:09:57 GMT
I use an app to keep track of things, and I use the amount we actually paid.
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Post by Laurie on Nov 11, 2024 20:11:09 GMT
I calculate using the sale price.
My parents do the same. They prefer online shopping and request we send our lists with links. When I send them the list for the girls (adult children and spouses get cash) I send it as a spreadsheet and have a column with discount codes. One year my sister said something about the amount of gifts my youngest had and I let her know that I gave mom and dad discount codes to enter at checkout.
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Post by Neisey on Nov 11, 2024 20:21:03 GMT
I try to keep both DDs equal in total spent and number of gifts under the tree. Youngest DD23, hasn’t been home for Christmas in a number of years (Covid travel restrictions while in university, then she was traveling, then she moved across country) so she gets sent a stocking, gives me a few ideas to get delivered and then I top up to total with $$ or GCs.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Nov 11, 2024 20:26:04 GMT
I feel for you. When younger, my mom was always like this - everything was always "to the penny" even.
To answer your question, use the retail price, not the sale price.
Honestly, as we got older (sister and I) - it makes no difference to me. If my sister is at a point in her life that she needs a $300 door and I just need a $50 pullover - that works!
In the future, it might swing the other way, but more likely - I don't need a thing so don't spend money buying something just to buy something - help when we need it or just don't worry about it.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 11, 2024 20:30:59 GMT
We always did similar "theme" ie one kid got ice skates and other skis - winter sports equipment. Although we keep it in the same ballpark - don't stress about it otherwise, certainly not enough to differentiate between sales or not. I don't waste energy on petty people, so DIL can get over herself. If you're gifting her a thrifted sweater and giving other dil an iphone, that's of a different scenario.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 11, 2024 20:35:21 GMT
I keep a tally for each kid and make sure they get a GC to somewhere. That is where I make up the difference. I only buy for 5 people, so it is pretty easy for me.
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Post by voltagain on Nov 11, 2024 20:38:27 GMT
I always try to spend about the same amount on each child and their spouse. Grandchildren get same amounts spent on them. Here is where the problem comes in.... If I find an item on sale, do I figure the normal price or the on sale price? One DIL almost uses a calculator to make sure she got what the amount the other got. Personally, I go with the normal retail price. Just make sure you remove all sale stickers.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Nov 11, 2024 20:43:13 GMT
I don't stress about it. I spend THOUSANDS more on my DD's sport than I do on my DS's sports each year. I get gifts and they receive them. If they bitch about it "not being fair" that will be considered next time I need to write a check for the kids activity (my DD will be the one bitching most likely). Life isn't always about the "fair" amount spent.
That said- go with normal retail price.
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Post by heckofagal on Nov 11, 2024 20:43:27 GMT
I just have 2 DDs. I keep a spreadsheet of what I have bought/plan to buy and each girl has a column. I make sure I have the same # of gifts that cost approximately the same. It's not an exact science.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 11, 2024 20:45:44 GMT
I would use the approximate full retail price. It's no one else's business what you paid (sale price).
I would not do "even amount" of gifts. I would do equal amount of money spent.
Personally, I would rather have one or two gift cards to my favorite store or one or two items that I really want.....instead of 4, 5, 8, 10 items because everyone else got 4, 5, 8, 10 items and it has to be "item amount fair". In my opinion......one item valued at $100, is the same as 4, 5, 8, 10 items totaling $100. But not everyone views it that way though. I would rather have one thing that I want, rather than 4, 5, 8, 10 items that I won't use and end up donating, tossing or giving away.
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Post by nightnurse on Nov 11, 2024 20:51:38 GMT
If my sister got a car every year and I got socks, I’d notice. But otherwise, no. I’d someone cares enough about me to buy a gift, I just say thank you. As for my nieces and nephews, when rhey were too little to understand, they’d get the same number of gifts without regard to making sure the cost was equal. Now that they are older, they just want money so obviously they get the same. We have a small gift giving group so it’s just the core family and we aren’t competitive or comparing. I did stop doing gift exchanges with my husband’s family because several years in a row they forgot my daughter’s Christmas gift, or it was on back order, or they wrapped it up with someone else’s name on it so she had nothing to open while her cousins did. That’s hard for a kid. The last straw was that she got told she was going on a whale watch in the summer as her Xmas present then when summer rolled around, the only weekend that worked for everyone else was her dance recital weekend.
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Post by chaosisapony on Nov 11, 2024 20:53:13 GMT
I don't stress over this much but there are no kids in my family anymore so maybe that's why. I generally get each person the same number of gifts so that it's not uneven when packages are being opened. If there are some small things I'll group them together in one box or bag to keep the package count similar to someone else that might have gotten bigger/more expensive items.
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huskergal
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Post by huskergal on Nov 11, 2024 20:54:28 GMT
I just try to even out gifts, not monetary value. If something was on sale, I am not going to give that person more gifts.
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on Nov 11, 2024 20:56:20 GMT
I don't stress over it keeping the amounts the same. I do make sure that my kids have the same number of presents to open though. Not that they will count them. I'm not even sure why I do it then. Lol.
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Post by lisae on Nov 11, 2024 21:34:38 GMT
If it is something that is frequently on sale, I would use the sale price. For example, I buy clothes at Talbots. If I received a sweater, I would assume the giver bought it at least 30% off, maybe 40%. I would certainly hope they did anyway!
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Post by melanell on Nov 11, 2024 21:39:36 GMT
I always try to spend about the same amount on each child and their spouse. Grandchildren get same amounts spent on them. Here is where the problem comes in.... If I find an item on sale, do I figure the normal price or the on sale price? One DIL almost uses a calculator to make sure she got what the amount the other got. I'd go by the normal price unless it's one of those places where things are on sale 98% of the time and the "regular" price is a farce.
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pilcas
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Post by pilcas on Nov 11, 2024 22:29:00 GMT
I would go by the regular price.
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Post by littlemama on Nov 11, 2024 22:41:25 GMT
I would try to have an equal amount of gifts at approximately the same total value.
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Nov 11, 2024 22:45:35 GMT
I keep number of presents the same. I also try to keep total amount spent on each as close as I can. I’m another that thinks it probably doesn’t matter to my son and daughter-in-law. I also buy for my brother’s grandchildren and the four girls all get the same thing and the two boys get the same thing. I try to keep the $ close.
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Post by grammadee on Nov 12, 2024 2:59:28 GMT
I count sale price. I don’t spend exactly the same on each, but I have a limit I don’t go over. If I can find the perfect gift on sale that fits into my budget, I get it. As Linda says, it’s not the same person every year. If anyone is counting, they have not told me.
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Post by Linda on Nov 12, 2024 3:08:53 GMT
If anyone is counting, they have not told me my kids have specifically told me that they don't care - they get gifts they're happy with and they aren't concerned with exsactly how many/how much $. They also don't necessarily spend the same on the gifts they buy us or their siblings. This might stem back to DD24's first Christmas when DS33 was 10 and we talked to him about the fact that baby toys were less expensive and bigger (physically) than his toys and that her gift pile might look bigger than his but that Santa as well as mum and dad would try to get the gifts that they thought he would enjoy. And we had the same conversation with DD24 when she was 6.5 and DD18 was a baby.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 12, 2024 3:44:13 GMT
I don't stress about it. I spend THOUSANDS more on my DD's sport than I do on my DS's sports each year. I get gifts and they receive them. If they bitch about it "not being fair" that will be considered next time I need to write a check for the kids activity (my DD will be the one bitching most likely). Life isn't always about the "fair" amount spent. That said- go with normal retail price. I kind of feel this way too. we do three gifts each, pre-covid I even tried to do one experience gift, one gift with a screen (for DS) and one splurge gift. As things have changed and they've gotten a bit older that got put by the wayside, but I still do try and get them each 3. With DD in college we've spent thousands more on her this year than DS, (just getting her set up in the dorm and recently helping with the deposit for her first apartment). I had gift cards that I was able to use toward a very expensive gift for DS (PS5) and I've had to tell myself that we've spent way more than what I did on the console for her this year.
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Nov 12, 2024 4:11:11 GMT
Never been an issue with my kids. I've always tried to keep it in the same ballpark with dollar amount but honestly I think I (kind of) cared more than they did, always trying to be the fair mom.
Not that I recall them saying so but I would think when younger, it's be the number of gifts rather than the cost that they'd notice. Especially since we take turns opening.
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milocat
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Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Nov 12, 2024 5:54:48 GMT
My mom always stresses over making it even between the grandkids, I have 2 and my sister has 2. I always did the illusion of even, I don't even keep track of what I've spent. My kids have said they don't care and wouldn't know unless it was super obvious that one person got something elaborate and someone got almost nothing, which doesn't happen.
Maybe you should make it easy for DIL to do the math and give her a big fat ZERO if she can't appreciate what she gets.
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