Obituary and estranged siblings

I am sorry for your loss.

I don’t think this is worth angst-ing over too much. Obviously your mom didn’t care or couldn’t decide. Choose your course and then stop worrying about it.

Here is one simple option that includes them (sort of), but doesn’t get too personal. “She is survived by her daughter XXX, son XXX, and several siblings.”

I would list them by name and nothing more.

They are still siblings and for me there is still a grief process that will happen even if they were estranged. 

Sorry for the loss of your mother.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I would simply say survived by 1 sister and 2 brothers, or whatever that looks like.

So sorry for your loss....

When my Dad passed he hadn't spoken to his brother for years (over the death of their lying, alcoholic sister) so we didn't even mention siblings in the obituary, or "predeceased by his parents" type stuff.

This is a very typical obituary around here. Part of it is driven by the high cost of placing an obituary in the paper or online. The “free” obituary states the name and the funeral home and little else. Longer obits cost a lot and many people skip the details except for viewing and funeral plans.

Yes, for geneaolgy purposes obituaries are very, very helpful.

you can just say she is survived by her siblings, John (Linda) Smith and Susan (Robert) Jones.

Dont need to say beloved, treasured, adored or any of that. Just present the facts.

When my grandma died, the estranged daughter (my aunt) was the one that wrote the obit. So my father and his 3 brothers weren't listed in the obit. It was a crappy thing to do.

Just list them, no adjectives. I'm also a genealogy person and obits are so helpful for that.

Her siblings were her family (so more like facts and not warm fuzzies in this case). I'd include them as a basic fact and nothing more.

Include them. Say nothing other than their names.

It will be helpful to later generations with genealogy, if nothing else. Family disagreements will long be forgotten.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. You are not obligated to mention them, but if you do just mention that she was survived by several siblings as mentioned above by lucyg. Don't fuss over this. You're grieving and your feelings are more important than your mother's jerky sibs.

Focus on your feelings and let others support you right now.

Sorry for your loss. I agree on including them for genealogy purposes.
Artbabe, I have seen two different obituaries worded differently for the same person in the newspaper.
It has been our experience that you get a better rate with the obituary by going through the funeral home than by contacting the newspaper directly.
Someone above mentioned the longer obituary. In the newspaper it might say survived by siblings. In the online funeral home obituary it might list their names.

It is rare that I see siblings listed but by name and spouse's first name in parenthesis.
Include them for genealogical purposes, please.

As an aside, my aunt spent three paragraphs describing my grandmother's care at a retirement home. She could've listed the grandchildren and great grandchildren in less space. Ticks off the family historian me. She also got her mother's mother's name incorrect. I'm still sassy about it.

If your Mom had a strong opinion about them not being listed, she had the chance to say it when you specifically asked her.

Either list she is survived by several siblings or just list their names at the end.

I’m sorry about the loss of your Mom.

I’m a big believer in taking the high road with things and extending grace when I can…with one exception. My Mom specifically said she did not her brother listed in her obituary. Her other 3 siblings did not list him in their obituary either. We honored her wish. This was the brother (my uncle) who subsequently illegally disinterred 6 relatives and my brother and I spent 4 years and $15,000 in attorney fees fighting this and WON.

That gives you a sense of what an a$$ and narcissist he is. He’s 91 years old and still alive. This man is one person I extend no grace to whatsoever. I will explain this sin to the Lord when my time comes.

I have no additional suggestions to offer about the obituary, other than what has already been mentioned. I just wanted to pass on my condolences to you, on the loss of your mum. Hugs xx