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Post by KikiPea on Jul 5, 2014 19:55:25 GMT
is it standard practice for a bride to buy an expensive gown (Usually ridiculously so)and bridesmaids to pay for a dress they will also never wear again while the groom/groomsmen only rent something that is fairly inexpensive and something they could possibly wear again?
After watching yet another wedding dress show, my DH popped in and asked that question. I did not have a good answer. Any ideas why that is the tradition?
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,893 
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Post by CeeScraps on Jul 5, 2014 19:57:05 GMT
Great question! One of the last weddings I was in we got our dresses from a mall store. The dresses are short so we actually could wear them again.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 5, 2014 19:59:49 GMT
My guess is sentimentality. Brides spend hours picking out their dresses to find the one style that matches their ideal, so that dress really means something to the bride. All tuxedos look alike. Same reason why all the groom has to do is remember the rings and show up at the church.  |
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 5, 2014 20:05:16 GMT
Yea, usually guys can get away with just renting a tux. Men's tux stores usually offer group discounts too, to encourage them to all rent together. The men definitely get the better end of the deal!
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Post by ~summer~ on Jul 5, 2014 20:14:07 GMT
I would think it is mainly because most tuxes look pretty much the same.
wedding dresses on the other hand are often very unique and the bride is pretty particular about them. It is more symbolic of the wedding I think. And most women care more about the dress than men care about the tux. I also wouldn't personally want to rent a dress. Some men do buy their tuxedo.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,538
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 5, 2014 20:34:53 GMT
Heck, after watching some of those "Say Yes to the Dress" shows, I think some women care more about choosing the dress than the husband!
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Deleted
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Oct 5, 2024 11:32:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2014 20:38:27 GMT
The latest trend I have seen is the bride/ bridesmaids being really dressed up and formal (SYTTD type of wedding dresses, not off the rack) and the Groom not even renting a tux or wearing a tie....sport coat and khakis, maybe.....I think if your bride dressed up so should you....tuxes aren't that expensive to rent! just seems like a lack or respect...
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Post by scrapbookbobbie on Jul 5, 2014 20:46:06 GMT
My daughter just got married 2 weeks ago. They chose to have their groomsman buy suit pants and a vest. My son-in-law had the same suit pants and vest, he also had the suit jacket. The all looked very handsome. They decided it made more sense to have something they could use later.
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Post by tidegirl on Jul 5, 2014 21:09:39 GMT
Renting a tux may not be AS expensive as buying a dress, but they are not that cheap anymore. My son's tux for the prom rented for about $165. This was a teeny step up from the bottom of the line tux. It included pants, shirt, , tie, vest, jacket and shoes. The extra he got was a matching pocket square in a matching color.
I think the suit look is a great option for weddings.
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Post by vpohlman on Jul 5, 2014 22:28:31 GMT
My son is in a wedding in a month and his tux rental is twice what the bridesmaids dresses are! And they get to keep their dresses and shoes. Shoes were paid for by the bride's mom so they are like a free gift! They also get matching necklaces to keep. DS rents the tux and shoes for one night for $137.00, which isn't too bad, but the girls are out $69.00 for their dress which can easily be worn again! Bummer for the guys!
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 5, 2014 22:30:47 GMT
My son is in a wedding in a month and his tux rental is twice what the bridesmaids dresses are! And they get to keep their dresses and shoes. Shoes were paid for by the bride's mom so they are like a free gift! They also get matching necklaces to keep. DS rents the tux and shoes for one night for $137.00, which isn't too bad, but the girls are out $69.00 for their dress which can easily be worn again! Bummer for the guys!
That's pretty awesome that's all the bridesmaid dresses cost! I had to spend more than that for a first communion dress for DD! |
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Post by donna on Jul 5, 2014 22:40:02 GMT
My son was in a wedding a few months ago. The groom asked the groomsmen if they all had black suits and white shirts. They all did, so the groom's family bought the groomsmen ties and suspenders to wear. They all looked so nice! My son is pretty broke right now, so it was nice to not have to put up a lot of money to be in this wedding.
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Post by omarakbt on Jul 5, 2014 22:45:08 GMT
My DD got married in December. They had a lovely venue at an automobile museum. Our DD's dress was relatively simple, cost around $500. The BM's dresses were short lace over satin and could definitely be worn again ( something my DD wanted for her BM's) SIL choose to buy a new suit rather than wear a tux. His GM also wore blue suits of their choice.
One of DD's friends, the BM had a color and they selected the dress that best suited them in that color. The men did wear Tuxes for that wedding
It's getting more and more that the BM have choices, not necessarily dresses they can never wear again, colors in choices and styles that suit them
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Post by betsy on Jul 5, 2014 22:54:38 GMT
Because it's all about brides and the groom and other men involved kind of take a back seat to the bride's spotlight, so to speak. It's tradition that the bride be the center of attention. Men's dress clothing, traditionally, are made of more conservative colors, overall, than women's formal dresses.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Jul 5, 2014 23:37:27 GMT
I rented my wedding dress. I wasn't going to pay a lot of money for a dress I was only going to wear once and had no interest in keeping in my closet the rest of my life. The place I rented from had 100's of styles to choose from. DH on the other hand bought his mess dress for the wedding. His clothes cost more than mine.
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Post by KikiPea on Jul 5, 2014 23:53:31 GMT
tuxes aren't that expensive to rent! just seems like a lack or respect... I don't see this as an issue at all. Tuxes vs. suits is the bride's decision/idea, not the groom's, so I don't see where it has anything to do with being respectful. I understand what you all are saying, I just wonder where the idea started that the bride's dress had to be the most special thing about the wedding and why they have come to cost SO much. I think you can have an exceptionally beautiful, meaningful dress without spending thousands of dollars. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 6, 2014 0:50:56 GMT
Because fashion is notoriously unfair to women.
Think of high heel shoes.
Pantyhose?
Pretty much most of what is deemed pretty, fashionable, etc...... is uncomfortable.
Men's clothes? Comfortable. And if one article is uncomfortable, there is always a comfortable alternative.
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Post by zeutdog86 on Jul 6, 2014 1:28:43 GMT
The dresses for my bridesmaids and flower girls were rented. They were in style for the time (27 years ago!). Worked well for us too since everybody was coming from out of state. They didn't rent wedding dresses though. I got my off the clearance rack not because I was being cheap but because "it was the gown"! It is true that you know when it is your dress. My dd just got married in Dec and I got mine out as she asked to see it. I still love it to this day.  It didn't fit her, I think I was a size 4. She is a 6 and couldn't get it zipped.  My dd2 tried it on as well and it came to her mid-calf!! The dress is tea-length for a shortie!!  Now that we know it will not fit them, I'm going to donate it. www.today.com/parents/somebody-cares-donated-wedding-dresses-become-angel-gowns-babies-who-2D79476642 |
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Post by Butterfly Momma on Jul 6, 2014 2:52:58 GMT
My DH also purchased a new suit to wear for our wedding, which he still owns and wears occasionally, and we will celebrate 9 years of marriage tomorrow. We didn't have any attendants, so no discrepancies in money spent there, and my dress cost about $800. Money well spent, I feel, when I look back at my wedding pictures and still think it was fabulous  |
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 6, 2014 3:01:39 GMT
Because brides are cruel, evil people.
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Post by ptamom on Jul 6, 2014 3:04:07 GMT
Because the dresses are altered to fit the wearer. My DH walked in to the Tux shop, and rented two tuxes, one for him and one for his best man. Boom. Done.
My MOH and I had multiple fittings, and my bustle set up was custom sewn on my dress.
Still, my dress was pretty inexpensive. My DH's tux rental was about 2/3 the price of my dress (before alterations). And he had to give it back afterward.
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Deleted
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Oct 5, 2024 11:32:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2014 5:02:40 GMT
There's also the generation to generation factor. Men don't usually do the whole passing the tux on to the son thing.
In 1991, when we got married, Dh already owned a tux because our college choir required it. All the groomsmen were (fortunately) also in the choir. We had cumberbuns and bow ties made from the same fabric as the bridesmaids dresses.
If we were doing it today, I would ask them to wear black pants and white shirts and I would purchase regular ties in a variety of related but not matching fabrics/color group.
Same for the bridesmaids. I would say choose a dress you love in ___ color.
Oh the things that change about you from age 19 to age 42.
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eastcoastpea
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Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 10:17:49 GMT
I think there are two reasons:
1. Mens clothing sizes are more standard. Usually, slacks in a 32x32 are just that and don't usually vary by brand or fabric.
2. Many men wouldn't put up with outrageous prices when they consider pants to just be pants and don't attach any sentiment to them.
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grinningcat
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Jul 7, 2014 11:28:46 GMT
Because women regularly get screwed in the wedding process. Everything is overpriced, the dresses are just too frou frouy and impractical and if you're in the wedding party you get doubly screwed by having to waste thousands of dollars on wedding shit and you have to wear some arbitrary dress that will never be able to be worn anywhere else for any other occasion. The more I deal with the wedding industry, I've come to the realisation that it's a big f***ing racket. Particularly if you're a woman.
I am of the opinion that if the bride and groom want the wedding party to wear something specific for the wedding that they should ante up and pay for it. Cut the budget somewhere else and give the wedding party a break.
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Post by kmk1112 on Jul 7, 2014 14:59:39 GMT
I've started to wonder why bridesmaids all wear matching dresses at all. I love the look of the girls all in one color, but in whatever style works for them, or the same dress in different colors. I'm not sure what I'd do if I was doing my wedding over today, and luckily have at least 10 years before DD gets married, so I'm sure it will all change again before then.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by loco coco on Jul 7, 2014 15:01:59 GMT
Never thought of that... he makes a good point! I let my bridesmaid pick a dress they could wear again and most of them have b/c I see it on FB |
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Post by deshacrafts on Jul 7, 2014 15:58:55 GMT
I don't know the answer to your question, but when I got married 32 years ago, that's how it was done. Although I think the price of wedding dresses has gotten way out of control. I think I paid $250 for my dress and veil at a Bridal shop. My daughter got married a couple of years ago and her dress was $450, but with all the stuff that went with it (veil, slip, shoes, etc) we spent about $800. I forget how much we paid for the tux rentals, I think it was around $120.00.
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It didn't fit her, I think I was a size 4. She is a 6 and couldn't get it zipped. 
My dd2 tried it on as well and it came to her mid-calf!! The dress is tea-length for a shortie!! 
