Hospice / Medicare

I am so sorry. Hugs...you are right...it's very wrong.

I'm sorry you're losing your mom. We don't have hospice care in our area outside the home so I'm not familiar with the ins and outs of their services/costs. Every time we've dealt with Hospice (my dad, FIL and sister) there has been no charge.

I am so sorry....so very unfair! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am sorry for your mother's prognosis and your frustration right now.

However, I'm not sure what you were expecting from the hospice facility. That your mother could be there the last two months because she cannot live alone? In my experience, that's not how it works. When my mother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer (she was given 6-12 months, but didn't quite hit 6 months), the hospice people told us that they simply provide palliative care for people for whom death is imminent. They told us that we would know when it was time to call them (they were right), and if we were lucky, there would be a bed available when we called. And she had private insurance to foot the bill.

It was the same when my mom went on hospice.  She lived in a retirement home (independent living) at the time.  There was a nurse who worked privately for some of the tenants so we hired her to help my mom during the day.  She was in and out throughout the day to help her get ready for the day, give her a bath, organized and gave her meds, helped her get ready for bed and that sort of thing.  Then there was another lady who did things like clean her apartment and walk her dog.  A hospice nurse would come once or twice a week to take vitals, check on her status and whatever.  

One day the hospice nurse called me to tell me that it was time to move my mom in with me.  Timing was great because we were already planning on moving her in with me the very next day.  The hospice nurse would come to my home a few times a week and then there were a few other visits for baths...I can't remember the exact number of days and amount of time.  There was a hospice pastor who was wonderful and developed a relationship with my mom.  

Anyway, to get to my point...the hospice recommended a woman to take care of my mom when I was at work.  We only paid her $10 an hour.  She was at my home 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  She did everything for my mom.  She would run to the store if my mom requested something.  She brought her coffee every morning.  She bathed her (my mom wouldn't let the hospice people bathe her), cleaned our house, cooked for her...we were very happy with her.  

Talk to the hospice people and see if they have names of people.  Kimberly doesn't work for the hospice but they have worked with her before.  My dad's wife just came home from the hospital and this week Kimberly is over there taking care of her and also my dad.  I can't say enough good about her.  My mom's last day was spent with Kimberly holding her hand.

When my mom first started to actively pass, Kimberly had just left my home about ten minutes earlier.  We called her and she, hospice nurse and hospice pastor were all by my mom's side within ten minutes.  Kimberly held my mom's hand while the pastor was at her head singing her favorite songs to her.  Hospice nurse just stood in the room and I was sitting at my mom's legs, not realizing that she was about to leave us.  I am thinking why isn't Debbie doing anything?  Now I know it's because my mom had a DNR and was dying.  I feel very good at the level of care my mom had in her final weeks and moments.

The other good thing about hospice is that they brought over a hospital bed, oxygen supplies, other medical care supplies and meds.  When my mom needed different pain meds, Debbie would make a all and they would send a courier over with what she needed within a very short amount of time, even late at night.  It was comforting to have my mom at home and not in a hospital.  She was able to be with her dog and in a familiar place...

I am so sorry about your mom.  My mom almost had lung cancer that had spread to her brain, bones and liver. 

A family friend who lives in my house is on hospice. He has been for quit awhile. We have a CNA who comes 3 days a week for an hour. She washes him and stuff like that. A hospice nurse once every other week or so. A hospice doctor visits our house about once a month. I don't think we have hospice houses or facilities around here. If our friend needs 24 hour care we will have to move him to a nursing home that Medicare will pay for. Hospice will still visit him the same amount if that happens.

In our area, hospice comess to the home. Check to see if she qualifies for any other home based services since she will be home bound.
Is she eligible for any VA services? If your dad was a veteran, she may be.

I am so sorry you are on this journey. i will pray for you all.

I work as a volunteer for a non-profit hospice. It has a small IPU (in patient unit) but we service a large area over many counties. Most patients are in the IPU for less than a week, either end of life or respite care. Our hospice provides in home help from nurses, CNA and volunteers. To qualify for Medicare patients, we have to have a certain percent of volunteer hours vs staff hours so we have lots of volunteers who help patients with everything from quiet company, to running errands.

Medicare is complicated but this link may shed some light on options

www.medicare.gov/Pubs/pdf/02154.pdf

Good luck with finding some good options for your mom, they are out there.

I'm so sorry; this is just horrible.

If you hire a caregiver privately, not through an agency, you can get someone for way less than $30 and hour. You do want to have a connection with a hospice agency, though, to help with medications, especially near the end. It is truly awful how difficult it is to get care for the elderly, ill and dying. Unless you can afford thousands per month, all the other options are bad.

That's heartbreaking. Hospice was such a blessing for me with my grandma. Big hugs. I wish the elderly weren't such a forgotten population in our society. Big hugs!

I'm so sorry that it is time for you to say goodbye to your Mom. It feels so hopeless and overwhelming just reading your post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you are able to work something out somehow. ((hugs))

My step dad was in a nursing home in hospice care. You may have to call around to find one with a hospice bed available, but the social worker at the hospital should be able to guide you. If your mother qualifies for Medicaid, you will want to get that going right away, otherwise the bill will need to be paid from her assets.