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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 14, 2015 18:27:07 GMT
I'd offer them a Kleenix, and read the situation from there... Exactly... I might pat her on the back a bit and read it from there.. just depending on situation.
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uksue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,527
Location: London
Jun 25, 2014 22:33:20 GMT
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Post by uksue on Feb 14, 2015 20:13:06 GMT
I have and would quietly ask if they needed anything and immediately left her alone if that's what she wanted. I have been able to fetch a cup of tea or bottle of water on request of someone I have approached in this situation, but as many have stated here, most people say they are fine thank you and I leave it at that.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Feb 14, 2015 20:24:35 GMT
If someone was boarding the plane that scared I would expect them to approach the flight crew about it, not expect some strange fellow flight member to take initiative. It wouldn't even occur to me that she'd be so scared that she wasn't being proactive about it that I would have to take her initiative and make sure she's okay. If not doing anything makes me a bitch... so be it. I think you have a very rigid view of life-one that comes from not experiencing a lot, to be honest-and I'm not basing that on this one post-rather, years of posts by you.I also think you miss out on a lot by having those rigid views but I suspect you don't really care about missing out-controlling your environment to a high degree seems to be a priority for you. I've held hands with complete strangers before-once an old rabbi on a train who had never traveled by train before-he was nervous and wasn't sure what to do with his luggage, etc. I helped him out and we held hands for about 30 seconds-it was a lovely moment. another time I held hands with a woman who was terrified to fly-again, a lovely moment in time with a complete stranger. I treasure these experiences and think of them quite fondly You are more than welcome to your opinion about me but I will tell you that you are incredibly misguided in your interpretation of my life and the amount of life experience I have. Your anecdotes are lovely, I'm sure they made you quite happy and I am glad they fulfilled you in some way. But just because I believe that it is shameful to lose face and cry in public does not make me the person you think I am. I answered the way I did because of that whole adage "do unto other as they would do unto you". I would not want to be disturbed in a moment of great weakness, thus I would never consider disturbing someone else in their moment of weakness. Obviously you have missed where others in this thread feel the same way... and yet, others feel as you do. This is not a black and white issue, it has to do with the comfort level of the people involved. You continue to do you as you do, I will continue to do as do even though you think I am missing out on life. I guarantee that I am not.
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Post by gar on Feb 14, 2015 20:24:55 GMT
It is clear that there is no right or wrong answer to this. I will continue to extend a bit of kindness and compassion when I can. I wouldn't hound the person if they made it clear that they didn't want any help, kindness or assistance. But I don't think that it is a stupid question to ask if they are ok. Even if you are crying, you can still be 'okay' in the grand scheme of things. When I was traveling to a critical medical issue with a family member, I was terrified, and crying a bit in the airport. A nice lady asked me if I was ok. I said, "Yes, just upset, but I will be fine." Because, really, I was "ok" but just having a rough time of it. How is one to know if the crying person is one who would or would not appreciate a kind word? Like others, I would rather err on the side of compassion than wonder if just even a kind word could have comforted a person. That's where I am too.
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lesmcf
Full Member
Posts: 221
Jul 10, 2014 0:50:47 GMT
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Post by lesmcf on Feb 14, 2015 22:27:29 GMT
I am forever grateful for the kind man you asked me if I was OK when I was crying quietly on a plane. He sat and listened to me talk about my best friend who was dying and I knew I would never see again. He was a godsend.
When I see people in distress I at least offer a tissue and if they need more I stay. I do that because of the wonderful man who helped me so much all those years ago.
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Feb 14, 2015 23:41:21 GMT
I try to approach people in a way that lets them know I'm concerned, but also gives them an out if they don't want to be engaged. Just bringing a cup of tea over and saying, "I couldn't help but notice you're upset and I promise I'm not going to bother you any further, but I just wanted to make sure there's nothing I can do to help in some way."
There have been more times than I can count that I was able to do something for them. Taking a later flight and giving them my seat on an overbooked flight, bringing them as a guest into the lounge for a shower, giving a tired, overwhelmed mother a hand with her small children...all things I was happy to do and would never have had the opportunity to do so had I not approached them.
As long as you go into it mindful and respectful of the fact that not everyone will want to go into their story, I think showing a little concern for someone in distress is a nice thing to do. I've honestly never had a person ask to be left alone or say they don't want to at least have me keep them company, although I'm prepared for that being the case.
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Post by pas2 on Feb 15, 2015 0:19:58 GMT
We actually ran into a young couple in an airport on their way home from their honeymoon, the young bride was in tears. Of course they were drawing stares from everyone, curious as to why she was so upset. I don't recall how we were related their story but it turned out that while on their honeymoon their lodgings were broken into, the groom tied up and ended up watching the bride being raped by the crooks unable to help her. The crooks then robbed the couple and fled. What a devestating start to a marriage. The outpouring of love and reassurance that things would be ok from the other passengers was amazing. To this day I wonder if this couple was able to stay together.
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