I registered my twins for kindergarten today. The principal said they leave the decision about putting twins in the same or different classes up to the parents. Of course, dh and I are split on the issue . What was your experience with this? They are currently in the same pre-k class (since it's only half-day) and I've emailed their teacher to find out what she thinks too.
Different. Our twins have very different personalities and abilities, and We wanted them to be identified as individuals, not as "the twins". Now in middle school they have some of the same teachers, but in elementary we preferred them to have their own classes and not be compared to each other.
mama2three Ancient Ancestor of Pea March 2003 6,215 posts PeaNut Number: 75924
I have b/g twins. They were together in Kindergarten (it was half day back then) and have been separated since then. There are 3 other sets of twins in their grade, one other was always separated and two were always together. I think there are pros and cons to each - but having 2 different 5th grade teacher's interpretation of the same homework and/or project was a bit challenging at times. I know one of the moms kept her twins together just to get a handle on the homework!
Now in middle school, they are on the same team and have a different class schedule but with the same teachers - which is nice as they are separated but the same homework due at the same time.
A close friend of mine has twin girls (now 19). They've been to school with my son since preschool, all the way through high school graduation. Anyway, she split them up beginning in the second year of preschool (prior to that year there was only one class per age), and they were never together again until chance had them in the same class once or twice in high school. One of the girls was always the leader, always telling the other girl what to do and how to do it. lol. My friend wanted them split up so the one girl could get out from her bossy sister's influence and blossom a bit on her own.
Post by finally~a~mama on Mar 18, 2015 18:27:53 GMT
My nieces are twins and were in separate classes. One of the girls would kind of hang back and let the other answer for her, etc. (even though she knew the answer) so it allowed them to grow and be independent of one another.
finally~a~mama StuckOnPeas PeaNut 438,682 September 2009 Posts: 2,989
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When my boys were 3 I talked to my cousin who taught Kindergarten. She told me that in her opinion together or separate was fine, but she did not advise changing schools and separating them in the same year. Based on this we separated them in preschool - which was half day and then moved them to the public school for Kindergarten - also half day - in separate classes. They did great with this. When first grade came around and they were in full day, and still in separate classes was when they went through a difficult transition. It was a lot of hours for them to be apart.
My twin boys are in high school now and I never separated them, even through middle school. I think a lot of the decision has to do with the personalities of the twins. My boys were never clingy with each other and were so different personality-wise that they developed different interests. They went to a K-8 school so I can't say they had different friends because they were basically friends with everyone, but there were different kids that each of them hung out with more than others. In their grade alone there were 4 sets of twins: 2 sets were always together, 1 set was always separated, and 1 set was separated some years and not others. My boys enjoyed being together and I certainly liked only having to keep track of what was going on in one class.
I think the automatic separation of twins in school is disappearing because the research doesn't support that it is necessary and/or beneficial, and that oftentimes neither the parents nor the children want this. I would say if the twins have behavior issue when they are together, or if one twin dominates and bosses the other twin, then I would support separating them. Otherwise, my twins are proof that they can be in the same classroom and both thrive and develop their own interests.
Before the start of high school I was talking to my boys about how this would be the first year they would be really separated, but it turns out they still have 3 classes together because they are both in the honors program and that's how their schedules worked out.
I have g/g twins that we kept together for kindergarten. Their teacher recommended to split them up because they were co-dependent. One twin was used to speaking for her sister and at times it was an issue. Separating them has actually been a good thing. The more introverted twin has come out of her shell, and they have made their own friends and have gone after their own interests as opposed to feeling "tied" together.
I separated mine in a half-day pre-k program as a test run before full day kindy. They did great while separated, so we kept them separate.
I did a lot of research on this issue before my girls started school, and I absolutely believe it should be the parents' decision based upon the specific needs of the twins. You really have to evaluate their relationship to determine what's best for them.
Thanks for all the input. They are b/g twins. So, socially speaking, they tend to identify with same gender kids. They are in the same classroom, but gravitate toward different kids. At home, they do tend to fight a lot. So dh thinks they need time away from each other. And I agree with that, to a point. I just don't think they need a whole school day away from each other.
We haven't had any issues with one being the stronger or leader one. They're both pretty outspoken .
Pre-k is at a different school than where they'll go to kindergarten. So they're not at all familiar with the school, routines, etc.
I do like the idea of them not being identified as 'the twins', but I also would enjoy the convenience of dealing with one teacher, same field trips, same homework, etc. I've got two other kids in addition to them, so it would be nice to have less to sort out in the evenings!
I have b/g twins who are now 14 and in 8th grade. They are both academically sound students. No competition there. She loves science and math. He loves history and math. But, they both make excellent grades. Both are in gifted classes for different reasons. Preschool, K and 1st grade, they were together. 2nd grade they were separate but on same team so homework was same. 3rd grade back together because of that new math! Ugh! Separated since then. Now, in middle school they have some of the same teachers and even had one class together in 6th grade. It never posed any problems for us since they are both independent.
Next year when they start 9th grade, they each have elected to go to different high schools! I'm a bundle of nerves!
PeaNut 276,078 September 2006 Posts: 1,534 Layouts: 7 Loc: Stuck in the middle with you...
My boys were together in Pre-K and K. The school wanted to separate them for first grade, and I fought it - and won! The "norm" was separate so they wouldn't become dependent. My issue was not the boys themselves - very independent, but the two first grade teachers were night and day. A set of twins in my older son's grade were separated, and I saw the nightmare mom had - one teacher was "old school" - desks in line, homework every night, and much more structured environment. The other teacher was very relaxed, sat in groups, did team/group work all the time, and rarely had homework. I didn't want my two to learn to read in two so different environments. Another set in the same grade (a good friend of mine and my boys were bff with hers) also fought, and won. So mine were in were one class, hers in the other. By agreement all the way around, they were separated in 2nd grade - one of mine with one of hers. That was helpful because any insecurity the boys felt by being separated was reinforced by the BFF being there. Worked out well until middle school.
Because the town/school was so small, there was only one section/level of classes - math/English/Science - so my boys were back together all.day.long. And by that age, very competitive/argumentative. I wanted them separated - but the school couldn't do anything. Gotta love it!
Do what you think is best for yours - they will get over any "trauma" about being separated, and they will survive if there is some competition between them.
Will someone let me know when America is great again? Thanks!
Depending on the size of the school, you may be surprised at how often they would see each other during the day, even if they're in separate classrooms. At my school, the kindergarten classes mix for lunch and recess every day, and there are other mixed actvities, as well.
If too much time apart is your greatest concern, ask the school how often the classes share activities.
My sisters are twins. They were together for kindergarten (private), then in separate classes after that. The one exception was 5th grade when we had moved to a new town. They chose to be together that year - and absolutely hated it! They never were together after that.
While it may be more convenient for you, it's more important to do what is best for them - which I am sure you will.
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I have girl/girl twins and I kept them together through 3rd grade. they were on different planets...many couldn't tell they were siblings. I had an older child and the thought of another teacher to deal with, and field trips, etc. it was too much. it was easier to keep together and as one said..there is no research to support one view or another. it is a decision for every year based on the children and the circumstances. they were put in all classes together in 7th grade and were miserable. I fought and fought about that with the school..
they were never dependent and operated in their own universes. they still do..at 25. they are not close.
I don't have twins, but a friend of mine has triplets (2 fraternal girls and a boy) that are in DD's grade. She kept them together all through elementary school, mostly to make things easier on herself. Same homework each night, same tests to study for, etc. Once they got to middle school, she let the school decide where they should go, and I don't believe they wound up in too many classes together (although they're all straight A students). They're now freshmen in high school, and the mom's had no second thoughts about what she did early on.
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we went different after speaking with a lot of different teachers.... my girlies looked a lot alike at that age and I was told by every teacher that it is hard not to confuse/compare in the same class. They had been in the same class up through preschool.
I generally requested that they be on the same team/group of teachers but opposite times and that worked out very well over the years.
As a teacher I say separate them. Harder for you, better for them.
It will allow them to be seen for who they each are. It will give them the opportunity to be individuals. It will give them the chance to make friends independently.
Our kinder teachers will also tell you that twins will often step in for the other. For instance, of one is struggling with math, the other will try to do it for them so they don't struggle. Very sweet, just not helping in the long run.
We had no choice for K (private all-day class with only 10 students), but separated the boys after that. (They're now in 7th grade.)
The district here uses the team teaching concept through 8th grade. So, while the kids haven't been in the same class since K, they have been on the same team almost every year. I like it because their homework always matches up so they can work together, remind each other of assignments due, etc.
The year they were on different teams was a drag. Spelling lists, worksheets, and projects were a week or two off, so the boys couldn't help each other study spelling words or anything, and it seemed assignments and projects lasted forever. It sounds lazy to want them doing the same thing at the same time, but it helps them as well as making life easier for all of us. If one has a permission slip, I know to ask the other one where his is and that sort of thing.
That said, if we didn't have team teaching, I'd likely separate the boys unless they wanted to be together (and they probably would).
I'm gonna ask you to be on your BEST bullshit this year. We have a society to rearrange and a wannabe dictator to oust. Polish up your safety goggles and stock up on potatoes. We've got to survive and I'll be damned if I'm doing it without eye protection, tasty carbs, and my trusty band of sidekicks. Report. For. Duty.
My identical triplets girls stayed together through 2nd grade then split after that. Then we homeschooled beginning in 8th grade. They are now sophomores in college. I will say the only frustrating part was in combined classes like music, PE, etc., some of the teachers did not get to know them. The PE teacher for instance just called them all by their last name because he never wanted to learn their differences even though he saw them at different hours during the school day. To this day, they still remember that he called them "Cross" and never by their first names. They hated that. I am not sure what my sister has done with her B/G twins. I think they are still in the same class in 5th grade.
Patter....that reminds me of the MS PE Coach who actually didn't realize she had both of my girls (in separate classes) as twins until she saw them together with me at Open House! Her brain had just processed them as the same student! But it wasn't because she didn't want to get to know each of them. That stinks for your daughters! DDs aunt decided one time to introduce them (at around age 17-18) as "this is my twin niece NAME and this is the other one"...no name just "the other one". That DD still thinks that stunk!
Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Mar 19, 2015 1:30:24 GMT
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day, when I was in elementary school, they supposedly had a particular way of determining which kids went to which teachers. I think they sort of tried to equally distribute various skill levels across 5 classrooms per grade. So I think I would perhaps ask administration, "Well, if they were not twins, would you put them in the same or different classes... and why?"
May we think of freedom not as the right to do as we please but as the opportunity to do what is right. --Peter Marshall
My identical triplets girls stayed together through 2nd grade then split after that. Then we homeschooled beginning in 8th grade. They are now sophomores in college. I will say the only frustrating part was in combined classes like music, PE, etc., some of the teachers did not get to know them. The PE teacher for instance just called them all by their last name because he never wanted to learn their differences even though he saw them at different hours during the school day. To this day, they still remember that he called them "Cross" and never by their first names. They hated that.
I will say that it's very difficult to get to really know kids in 50 minutes once a week, and exceptionally difficult to learn to tell identicals apart when you never see them together and/or see them infrequently.
I try really hard with our identical twins but I have 850 names to remember, and it's hard enough with the ones who don't look exactly alike. I have a set of fifth grade girls that I am finally able to tell apart this year after five years of having them in class, only because one has put on a little weight. With the identicals in 4th and 3rd I have no idea which one I'm addressing unless I look at the seating chart. I assure you it's not for lack of interest in them as individuals.
I had two sets of identical twins one year when I taught pre-school. I could tell one set apart from behind (one's head was a little wider) and the other set because one always wore tennis shoes and the other one boots.
At my school one year I had a twin who really wanted a certain teacher for the next school year. When we separated the students into classes I made sure she got that particular teacher. The other twin was devastated when she didn't get that teacher. SO two years later when that teacher went to fourth grade, the girls' mom requested that they both be with her. That teacher said it was horrible and the mom agreed.
They aren't identical. Both are extremely smart. One is more outgoing than the other and they were very competitive. Glad it wasn't me!
We kept our b/g twins together K-2. It was the right choice for our kids - before they started school, the principal wanted them separated, I requested they be together, and they were put together, and after they got to know our kids, teachers agreed that having them in the same class was right for them.
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