katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Apr 29, 2015 0:43:29 GMT
Been there… Done that… but you are strong, and you can do this!
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,504
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Apr 29, 2015 1:16:23 GMT
Hugs raindancer. Things WILL get better. Hang in.
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Post by scrappyoutlaw on Apr 29, 2015 1:17:48 GMT
I don't have all the distractions and I still find finals a struggle! I can't imagine! If I were in your shoes I would ask for an extension to take some of the pressure off of you.
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Post by Zee on Apr 29, 2015 1:19:40 GMT
I'm sorry for all you're going through,I hope things turn around soon!
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Apr 29, 2015 1:21:28 GMT
You've earned that pity party. ((Hugs))
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Post by jonda1974 on Apr 29, 2015 1:22:48 GMT
Not selfish at all. You are in my prayers, both you and your dh and family.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Apr 29, 2015 1:24:03 GMT
Contact your professors and ask about incompletes I bet you get at least one to agree, if not all, based on your husband's sudden illness.
When I had a baby three weeks early during finals week, our teachers gave both myself and my husband Incompletes.
When I had to go home three weeks before end of semester due to my mom' s cancer, all my profs gave me incompletes. This was all at the graduate level at two different universities.
Good luck to you.
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,421
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Apr 29, 2015 1:33:07 GMT
I'm so sorry - that is a huge load to deal with.
Hugs to you!!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,767
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Apr 29, 2015 1:43:38 GMT
Being a grown up sucks. I have declared it.
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Apr 29, 2015 2:22:36 GMT
You just described the end of last semester for me, except my husband had gigantic kidney stones and had to be kept heavily sedated on and off for a week. The pain was so bad that he was actually at risk for cardiac arrest.
I know the workload is enough to make you want to ugly-cry in the shower, even without any additional stress. But watching someone you love go through excruciating pain makes it impossible to focus on anything school-related.
I had to take an incomplete in one class and I should have done the same for another class. I got it done, but my final grade was affected considerably.
You and your husband are in my thoughts. Hang in there.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Apr 29, 2015 2:24:41 GMT
*hugs*
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Post by cajeanne on Apr 29, 2015 2:30:35 GMT
Tears are the safety valve when too much pressure is placed on the heart. Have a good cry, you certainly deserve to have one. Blessings to you and your DH.
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Post by gryroagain on Apr 29, 2015 2:36:01 GMT
I'm so sorry. I too have felt that way- it seems like whenever I get to my breaking point, something happens with dh or a family member and I have to be strong for it. When dh was deployed we lived in MS and hurricane Katrina hit, and I was in grad school. It was a nightmare. I got a 3 month extension- which I didn't actually need that much- but sometimes just asking for help and letting your professors (since you, like me, are an adult student) know the things going on in your life helps so much! They will work with you, and you really DON'T have to it ALL, on time, right now...there are only so many balls you can keep in the air at once. Let your professors know about your dhs health emergency, and take an extension. And as soon as you can, a "mental health day"!
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Apr 29, 2015 3:55:17 GMT
There are times when a good cry in the shower is the best medicine. My DD was in the hospital with appendicitis complications when a call came up to her room that DH was down in the ER with a Crohn's flare-up, I had been diagnosed with MS the week before and my sister was battling lung cancer. Sometimes life is all too much and overwhelming. Hugs to you. By Friday the class part will be behind you. Is there a relative or close friend to be there for you and your kids? Keep the Peas posted. My family and his are all here. They have been a great help to us today. We'll get through it. Thank you so much. I cannot even imagine what an awful week that was for you. Wow.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Apr 29, 2015 4:02:18 GMT
thank you everyone for all the kind words. The kids and I are home and going to bed. I'm going to try and sleep. My husband was resting comfortably when we left, and hopefully he can get some sleep too. Still in the wait and see camp, hoping to avoid surgery, but it's not looking promising right now. I am literally *done* with everything this Thursday and it's all group work, so I am just going to plow through it. I have a lot of great people in my program and they have been amazing today too. I have been let off the hook for the edits we have to make, and I just have to show up and present Thursday. I can do it. I just might drop on Friday.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Apr 29, 2015 4:19:23 GMT
That is a ton of stuff on your plate. Reward yourself with a relaxing day going whatever you like once finals are over, the light is at the end of the tunnel and you are almost there!
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Post by mom on Apr 29, 2015 6:03:06 GMT
thank you everyone for all the kind words. The kids and I are home and going to bed. I'm going to try and sleep. My husband was resting comfortably when we left, and hopefully he can get some sleep too. Still in the wait and see camp, hoping to avoid surgery, but it's not looking promising right now. I am literally *done* with everything this Thursday and it's all group work, so I am just going to plow through it. I have a lot of great people in my program and they have been amazing today too. I have been let off the hook for the edits we have to make, and I just have to show up and present Thursday. I can do it. I just might drop on Friday. You can do this! Go to bed tonight (take a sleeping pill if you must!) and get some rest. Life is so much harder to deal with when you are exhausted. Use your family and friends to pick up the slack. People want to help so tell them what to do - even if it is just 'can you make lunches for everyone'. Prayers for you and your husband! You will get through this and be stronger on the other side!
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,626
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Apr 29, 2015 6:17:05 GMT
Hugs. Hope things are better tomorrow. Take care.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 4:58:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 7:02:42 GMT
I read your posts and only skimmed the other answers, I know you're going to sleep and that does help. I also saw suggestions for the closet, shower and car. I agree with those are greta places to go when you're feeling overwhelmed and the need to let it out is too great to resist. I also saw someone mention lists and I know that when you have as much on your plate as you do, that lists help you let go of things for a bit without completely forgetting about them. List are like handing off your problems to someone else for a bit and that's very therapeutic. Sorry you're going through this, I'm sending good thoughts your way.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Apr 29, 2015 10:09:23 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going thru this. In addition to feeling overwhelmed, you may feel this hard time will never end! My DH husband went thru a very serious medical issue and was in and out of the hospital for 3 years. I was working full time and trying to hold it all together. All I could do was make it thru one HOUR at a time. Even one day at a time was too much to think about.
I had many times I had a good cry! It's ok and does help a little bit. Also consider asking your doctor if YOU can get a little something to help you deal with the stress. I felt ashamed to take anything myself for the anxiety and stress, but once I did, it really helped. You will find strength to make your way!
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Post by 3dcrafter on Apr 29, 2015 10:24:40 GMT
Sorry things are so stressful for you right now...sending a prayer and good thoughts your way.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 4:58:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 10:32:32 GMT
You are totally allowed to have a selfish moment and pity party. Hope you are able to take some time for yourself once this week is over.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 29, 2015 14:40:48 GMT
Hang in there, Pea friend. I'm glad you have an awesome team at school.
Now is the time to reach out to friends and family for some help. I bet there have been offers. Can someone take the kids to a movie Friday night? Ask 2 or 3 friends to bring simple meals.
I'll be praying for your DH.
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Post by uksue on Apr 29, 2015 14:51:57 GMT
I'm so sorry . I used to have colitis and had a few obstructions after my colectomy so I understated his pain - but I also know from having a spouse who was very ill with lupus that it's absolutely horrible to watch someone suffer. And keep the family going ( and school, in your case.)
Just do as people have been advising me the last couple of days- take things day by day ( or minute by minute) as necessary. You have my prayers and positive thoughts.
"This too shall pass" has become my mantra lately !!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 4:58:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 14:56:54 GMT
so sorry...I know how stressed my DD is with finals for her graduate degree...add all you have to do to the mix and that is a lot!
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 29, 2015 15:38:08 GMT
I hope you were able to have a good cry last night and get some sleep. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and school will be over and done before you know it. When I'm being pulled in 20 directions, it really helps to write everything down and plan my day to the minute and stick to it.
DH had surgery in a hospital 40 miles away and the hardest part was waiting for the kids to get out of school to see him instead of being there when he got out of surgery. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 29, 2015 16:52:10 GMT
I know how tough graduate school is. Combine it with health problems and kids that need you and it can be overwhelming. Cry if you need to cry. It's ok to feel bad for a little bit before you pick yourself up and carry on. Hugs to you.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 29, 2015 17:59:32 GMT
The caretaker/spouse does have it worse in many instances. The stress and fatigue that caregivers have, due to picking up the slack is overwhelming. My dh never complains, but I know it takes a toll and I encourage him to share his feelings and get upset if he can. You have every right to feel as you do. We patients get all the sympathy, but we just lie there while you do the work aside from your own work(school). Feel free to cry w/your dh. You can hold his hand and share your feelings. It might help you feel closer to eachother, as well. Communication is the most important thing in this situation. Always being honest and always being a team is essential. Cry if you need to cry. Take that hot bath or shower tonight and let your feelings come up.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Apr 29, 2015 20:39:24 GMT
I'm sorry! I hope you get a minute to let it all out soon.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Apr 29, 2015 21:17:04 GMT
Today has been absolutely disasterous. I can't even begin. does anyone know who can actually help me at a hospital? I need to talk about costs and also the completely horrific lack of communication between teams here. I feel so defeated.
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