raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095 
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Post by raindancer on Apr 28, 2015 22:14:40 GMT
I'm in the middle of finals for my graduate degree. The work load is far heavier than undergrad was, and the projects are really big. I'm just completely overwhelmed by school.
Last night my dh became very ill, he has crohn's disease and we wound up in the ER at 6 am. I didn't sleep last night. And the projects are still coming due Thursday. We live 40 miles from the hospital, and my kids are older (11 and 13), but still need me. Plus they are just really worried.
I'm just completely exhausted and all I really want to do is have a good cry. And there just isn't any time for it, or anyplace to go and cry.
I know if I could just completely lose it and get it out I would feel so much better. I feel on the brink of tears and have all day. Keeping it together is the order of the day, for my dh and my kids, but damn. It's hard.
Thanks for listening. I just needed to be selfish for a moment.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 8:18:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 22:17:11 GMT
I'm sorry! That's a lot to deal with.
I'm sure you could have an extension, even if until Monday so you can finish up your projects.
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Post by jenjie on Apr 28, 2015 22:17:10 GMT
I understand. It's very overwhelming. {{{{ hugs}}}} and prayers for you and dh.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 28, 2015 22:17:16 GMT
Oh my that's a lot to have on your plate all at once.
{{{hug}}}
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Post by anxiousmom on Apr 28, 2015 22:20:01 GMT
Nothing wrong with taking an extra long shower and boohooing away from the prying ears of the rest of the family. It's a lot of work to go to school and have other obligations. Sometimes it gets overwhelming...take a few minutes to let it all out and then baby steps to get it all back on track, control what you can and let the rest go.  |
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Post by stargazer on Apr 28, 2015 22:26:07 GMT
Sympathy & positive thoughts coming your way. This too shall pass. Hope dh is better soon & your projects go well. So much admiration for you for going back to school, let alone dealing with everything else.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Apr 28, 2015 22:29:38 GMT
My GI once told me my disease was much harder on my DH and kids than it was on me and I totally believe it is. Please be kind to yourself and know that you have the support of the peas! Hugs to you and while your DH has my sympathy and prayers, so do you and your kids!
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Post by Really Red on Apr 28, 2015 22:30:02 GMT
 I find making lists is so helpful. It feels as if I'm putting my worries on the list and then I don't have to worry, just check the list. Once you write the list, you can ask your kids to do choose some of the chores to do this week just to help you out. Tell them they can think of something special they'd like to do once your classes are done. Set aside time for each thing in your life. You have today and tomorrow. It's not a lot, so you're going to really have to work it. If you have a parent/sibling/family member to call, do it. If you are working outside the home, take the days off. You can do it!!! |
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Post by KikiPea on Apr 28, 2015 22:31:37 GMT
I'm sorry, raindancer. Hugs to you, your DH and your family! |
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Post by anonrefugee on Apr 28, 2015 22:38:43 GMT
Take above advice, and take at least two selfish moments, that's a lot at once.
Sit in your closet or car, if you must, but,find a minute to breathe.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,017
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Post by mimima on Apr 28, 2015 22:41:47 GMT
Hugs. I'm so sorry. That does sound overwhelming, it is ok to have a pity party.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Apr 28, 2015 22:48:01 GMT
I'm sorry! That's a lot to deal with. I'm sure you could have an extension, even if until Monday so you can finish up your projects. Unfortunately they are both presentations that are scheduled with groups. My professors both said I could duck out after mine though, and for that I'm grateful. Both classes are once a week and last 3 hours. So it's a little rough. |
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Apr 28, 2015 22:49:28 GMT
Nothing wrong with taking an extra long shower and boohooing away from the prying ears of the rest of the family. It's a lot of work to go to school and have other obligations. Sometimes it gets overwhelming...take a few minutes to let it all out and then baby steps to get it all back on track, control what you can and let the rest go. This will be for sure happening tonight. I'm going to turn on the shower and the fan and close both doors and just have a good cry. |
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Apr 28, 2015 22:50:10 GMT
I understand. It's very overwhelming. {{{{ hugs}}}} and prayers for you and dh. OH Jenjie, I know you do. I think of you often. |
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Post by Chips on Apr 28, 2015 22:53:30 GMT
I'd love to join your pity party and I'll bring drinks and snacks! I am so sorry you're going through this. Starting with something small and getting that done will help and if that small thing is a nap than so be it.
I am also in grad school, working and have kids and could of posted the same thing. We'll get through this!
You can do this and I really believe in you ((((hugs)))).
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Post by donna on Apr 28, 2015 22:55:53 GMT
When I feel like you do I find that a good ugly cry helps me get it out. Once I do that, I can focus on the job at hand.
Hugs, I hope things get better soon.
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Post by heartcat on Apr 28, 2015 22:58:48 GMT
I'm sorry that you have so much going on right now. It's not selfish to wish you could take a moment to express what you are feeling. Things sound stressful for you right now. I hope it gets better soon. {{Hugs}}
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Post by caro on Apr 28, 2015 23:00:02 GMT
I'm sorry Raindancer. You have a lot on your ate, A.LOT! Have that cry and you will feel better Hugs for you.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
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Post by jayfab on Apr 28, 2015 23:00:38 GMT
I don't think you're selfish at all. We all need a bit of time to cry or whatever, if not we'd explode! Take care of yourself and hope things get better soon.
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Post by gramasue on Apr 28, 2015 23:01:05 GMT
Nothing wrong with taking an extra long shower and boohooing away from the prying ears of the rest of the family. It's a lot of work to go to school and have other obligations. Sometimes it gets overwhelming...take a few minutes to let it all out and then baby steps to get it all back on track, control what you can and let the rest go. I agree. You need to have a good cry. I remember when my Mom died, I'd tell my kids that I cried in the shower, because, after all, I was already wet anyway. Holding it in is never good in the long run, believe me. Wishing you peace. |
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Apr 28, 2015 23:02:12 GMT
My GI once told me my disease was much harder on my DH and kids than it was on me and I totally believe it is. Please be kind to yourself and know that you have the support of the peas! Hugs to you and while your DH has my sympathy and prayers, so do you and your kids! Gosh, I don't know. He is in so much pain and has a small bowel obstruction. It's so miserable. I know he tries to make me feel better by being strong, but I can just tell he would like to curl up in a ball and cry too sometimes. You guys have to deal with so much. ((hugs)). |
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Post by coffeetalk on Apr 29, 2015 0:09:06 GMT
There are times when a good cry in the shower is the best medicine. My DD was in the hospital with appendicitis complications when a call came up to her room that DH was down in the ER with a Crohn's flare-up, I had been diagnosed with MS the week before and my sister was battling lung cancer. Sometimes life is all too much and overwhelming.
Hugs to you. By Friday the class part will be behind you. Is there a relative or close friend to be there for you and your kids? Keep the Peas posted.
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Post by momof3pits on Apr 29, 2015 0:10:34 GMT
That is a lot for one person to deal with. Big hugs, and be gentle on yourself! Give yourself a pity party that includes a bath, sweet treat, movie, whatever will make you feel better. Then chin up and get that project out of the way so you can move on!
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Deleted
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May 3, 2024 8:18:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 0:16:55 GMT
Do you know anyone from here personally? Have you ever met any of us? If not then you could post what you are feeling (the deeper stuff) if you want (  ) and get everything out of your system or you can just listen to us cheer you on which is therapeutic, too. Whatever makes YOU happy  |
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Post by littlemama on Apr 29, 2015 0:22:36 GMT
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know when I was in the hospital in January with a Crohns flare, it was probably harder on my dh and ds than it was on me. Can u get a friend or hire a teen to help with the kids for a few days, until you can get the school projects behind you?
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,962
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Post by Nanner on Apr 29, 2015 0:22:51 GMT
It's almost over. If you can somehow find it in you to get through that huge pile of everything in the next couple of days, it'll be over. Stay strong.
I hope your DH is feeling better quickly.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Apr 29, 2015 0:23:48 GMT
My GI once told me my disease was much harder on my DH and kids than it was on me and I totally believe it is. Please be kind to yourself and know that you have the support of the peas! Hugs to you and while your DH has my sympathy and prayers, so do you and your kids! Gosh, I don't know. He is in so much pain and has a small bowel obstruction. It's so miserable. I know he tries to make me feel better by being strong, but I can just tell he would like to curl up in a ball and cry too sometimes. You guys have to deal with so much. ((hugs)). I know first hand how painful an obstruction is but the thing is your DH and I get to curl up in a ball because of people like you in our lives who take care of everything else... kids, chores, food, household, etc. You have every right to a pity party. I'm in no way trying to minimize what your DH is going through but you deserve sympathy too. I think all too often people are more concerned with how the patient is doing and overlook the fact that the caregiver needs a break now and again too. |
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Post by foolana on Apr 29, 2015 0:25:44 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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iluvpink
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Post by iluvpink on Apr 29, 2015 0:26:05 GMT
I'm sorry, (((HUGS))). I hope he's feeling better soon and that your presentations go well.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 29, 2015 0:39:10 GMT
Wow. That would be enough to stress anyone out.
I know that feeling -- "If only I could have a breakdown right now."
I truly hope no other challenges come your way so you can recover a little. Best wishes to you!
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I find making lists is so helpful. It feels as if I'm putting my worries on the list and then I don't have to worry, just check the list. Once you write the list, you can ask your kids to do choose some of the chores to do this week just to help you out. Tell them they can think of something special they'd like to do once your classes are done. 
) and get everything out of your system or you can just listen to us cheer you on which is therapeutic, too. Whatever makes YOU happy 
