M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on May 27, 2015 0:12:01 GMT
I read the OP as confronting the other adult in front of her kids, not the whole group. I have no problem with doing this and probably would have done it myself. Depending on my history with the person, I may have called them out in front of the group or done it privately. I also call out my adult friends for reading texts while driving or not wearing seatbelts . It isn't so much that the adult let a 15 year old drive that bugs me, but that they lied about the age to several other adults. I might not always agree with the rule, but I do want to model rule following behavior to my kids. We jet ski on the AZ side of Lake Havasu because the kids only needed to be 12 to ride by themselves (CA side is 16).
I called them out on it when I made my kids get off the golf cart, as soon as I found out about it. It was only me, my kids, the adult and the kid they were letting drive around. Not like a big group of people. Just the parties involved! Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
I did let the other adults that they lied too know how old the kid actually was, but not in front of my kids. I just walked up and let them all know he was 15, wouldn't be 16 until December and that was it. No other discussion.
Again, I don't care what people do on their own golf carts, but having my kids along for the ride when they were stopping and lying to other people who questioned his age was the biggest deal to me. I was fine with keeping it to myself and just making my kids get off the golf cart at first. But then they wanted to argue with me (in front of my kids) when they were lying and totally in the wrong.
Going around and telling the other adults was drama causing and will come back and bite you in the butt next time you break a rule. You aren't in charge of what other people do. I totally agree with you controlling what your own kids do, but you're not in charge of what the other family does or doesn't do, even when you don't agree. I can see where your own history with this person influenced what you did, but you went around and tattled on another adult. I think that's what your family member had a problem with. I'm all for rules for safety, especially for driving and boating when there are really good reasons for the rules. If it is illegal in your area for a kid to drive a car with an adult at 15, then that would be different than if it was legal. The rule of the camp could be different from the law, and if that's the case, I can see why the parent thought that letting their kid get experience with the golf cart in their presence was good practice. They shouldn't have done that with your kids without your permission. That's what I would have had a problem about. I wouldn't have gone around and told everyone else the kid's age. What your relative and family does on their own is not your business.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
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Post by happymomma on May 27, 2015 0:19:09 GMT
No, I do not call people out on things in a public manner. It never achieves good results. Honestly I wouldn't have said a word, except to my own children about not lying, that it's wrong, you have to be 16, blah blah blah. Then I would have made sure they didn't ride with that other adult and kid the rest of the trip. This. There's being right and then there is being peaceful. If it was a big deal to me, I would have scolded my kid for continuing to ride after they knew it was 'wrong.' Because my kid is the only one I have any control over. It's not up to me to teach either the other adult or their kid a lesson. But truthfully, I don't think you made a big scene or anything like that so just let it go and enjoy the rest of your day. We all get irritated at times and say things that we wonder about later. It's okay. Just make sure that your kids know the rules and what to do if someone isn't following them, because I can guarantee you they will face this in life again and it will be good for them to have the confidence to choose the right thing over the fun wrong thing. I hope the rest of the camping trip was fun! Don't be so hard on yourself. ETA: Oh, I just saw that you tattled on them to the authorities. Yeah, that may be a bit dramatic. As M said above, that might bite you one day. I can understand you removing your kids from that situation, but narking them out is a little over the top and childish. MY OPINION ONLY.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on May 27, 2015 15:42:34 GMT
I'd have a problem with the outright lying in front of my kids. If that's the rule, so be it. But I'll confess, my kids drive the golf carts all over when we vacation in northern Minnesota. We stay at a nearby resort and both my brother and parents have places up there. They have been driving since they were 12 or so. Most of the time, they are on private property, but they do use the main road as well. But they weren't allowed to drive the four wheelers alone until they were of legal driving age.
I honestly don't care that the kid was driving. He's a good kid and is pretty responsible. But, to me, a rule is a rule... and it's been the rule for a very long time (as long as that kid has been alive)... and for the adult to be flat out lying in front of my kids is what I had the biggest problem with.
To me, that just teaches the kids that lying is ok, and breaking rules is ok. And in the future, what will this adult lie about for my kids? YKWIM?
Underaged drinking. That is the adult who will let your kid have "just one drink because it's just one).
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