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Post by Karene on May 28, 2015 2:01:43 GMT
My kids have always been able to have their doors closed if they wanted. Never had a rule about it.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on May 28, 2015 2:05:34 GMT
That's not something I can imagine ever needing to make a rule about. However, my daughter always keeps her door open. She does have streamers hanging in her doorway though, so I guess it's kind of like privacy without being closed in. And she likes to have the cats in her room - and they need to be able to come and go.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
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Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on May 28, 2015 2:05:38 GMT
No rule but my oldest (10) keeps his door shut at all times mostly so I don't freak out about how messy his room is! My boys don't hang out much in their rooms, but when they do they are usually watching Netflix and have the door shut.
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Post by Linda on May 28, 2015 2:06:04 GMT
we have an open door policy when friends are over - but otherwise I don't care if the door is open or closed...unless they are changing then for the love of all that is holy PLEASE close the door.
I do knock before going into an occupied room where the door is closed or mostly closed and we have removed doors for slamming in the past (mostly because we have cheap mobile home doors and too much slamming breaks them and we're in NO hurry to replace at that point)
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Post by shannoots on May 28, 2015 2:14:36 GMT
My kids never shut their doors but I don't have a rule about it...they just never have and probably don't think about it. However, I always had my door closed when I was growing up. My mom probably preferred it that way because my room was always a mess!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:28:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 2:17:36 GMT
Doors are always shut. I worry what their younger brother will do to their room. No friends of the opposite sex in their rooms.
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Post by 950nancy on May 28, 2015 2:22:58 GMT
I always do the Sheldon knock of three times and saying their name since they were in junior high. Ain't nobody want to walk in on some "me" time!
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Post by maryland on May 28, 2015 2:26:01 GMT
I never even thought about it. Sometimes open, sometimes closed. My kids are 12, 15 and 17. If they are studying, they usually close it so they can get work done. No rules about doors, they can do what they want. They always close the door when sleeping.
I have girls that are very messy. I can't stand the mess, so I often go in and clean it myself (and they must "pay" me by making their own lunches or something I dislike doing).
When their friends are over, they usually close the door. It can get pretty loud with a group of girls in the room, so I like it closed.
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Post by cmpeter on May 28, 2015 2:31:14 GMT
My dd used to argue that she should be allowed to have her gay (boy) friend in her room because they would never do anything sexual together. The only other boys she has had over were boyfriends. Same with my son, the only girls he has had over to the house were girlfriends. But, yeah...gender rules arent always hard and fast.
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Post by maryland on May 28, 2015 2:33:54 GMT
What? You mean in their home, alone? In their own bedrooms? People actually have rules requiring open door policies on their own children? In their own home? Do they not allow siblings to enter another's room either? I don't type this lightly, or ever, but WTF? I need to return to the "what have you learned lately" thread. This is the most bizarre thing I've read here. ETA I apologize OP, it's not yet ten minutes later and I regret being so flip. I haven't hward that rule, but understand many situations are different- as are kids ages. I have teen boys. I'd rent them an apartment of their own some days. Haha, we tell our girls the same thing about renting them an apt. sometimes!
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Post by myshelly on May 28, 2015 2:37:10 GMT
I've never even heard of anyone having a no closed door rule.
Honestly that sounds like torture. Punishment for no reason.
Don't you ever crave privacy? Quiet? Alone time? Well, your tween/teen does, too.
How horrible not to be able to have those needs met in the comfort of your own bedroom.
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Post by chaosisapony on May 28, 2015 2:44:50 GMT
I value my privacy. Even more so when I was a tween/teen. I can't imagine having none in my own home. I also cannot imagine policing my children at that age. I'm amazed at the things I learn here sometimes.
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Post by Butterfly Momma on May 28, 2015 5:44:25 GMT
and My boys are not teens yet, but that is how I view bedrooms. I think everyone has the right to some level of privacy, be they kids or adults. But I do not tolerate slammed doors and I'd rather that, when they hit the teen years, that their friends of opposite gender stay in public areas of the home. If the point is to prevent hanky-panky, I'd make sure that you have straight kids first . I'm so sorry - I wasn't trying to be offensive. I shouldn't respond to posts when I'm tired and distracted
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Post by gmcwife1 on May 28, 2015 5:51:17 GMT
It would never occur to me to make my teens keep their doors open. We have a no friends of the opposite sex allowed in bedrooms. But, both my kids can close the door to their room otherwise. Same for us in our house. So if the kids can't close their doors, do the parents never close their bedroom door?
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Post by gar on May 28, 2015 6:58:01 GMT
Doors open or shut? When they are just hanging out in their rooms alone, doors open or shut? DS will be 13 Sat an dd 11 next month. I have always had the rule no shut doors unless getting dressed. My reasoning was when they were little if they got hurt and I couldn't get in. Now my reason is all the horror stories you hear about kids that are cutting, depressed, etc. I figure if I can try to prevent it from happening, I can at least try. Not saying this will stop it 100%. So, what are the rules at your house? I pretty sure that if a child is unhappy/depressed/cutting, a closed bedroom door won't stop it....and presumably you're not watching the door constantly? They could always go to the bathroom anyway so..... And when they were little why couldn't you have got in unless the unlikely scenario of them falling against the door wedging it shut was to occur? No, we didn't have door rules - there's enough things that there does need to be rules about without unnecessary (imo) ones. Even children/tweens/teens are entitled to some privacy, appropriate to their age.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,296
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on May 28, 2015 9:30:16 GMT
My DD never closed her bedroom door, it did not help prevent her cutting, and made no difference at all to the extreme depression she has suffered for many years.
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Post by gar on May 28, 2015 9:39:57 GMT
My DD never closed her bedroom door, it did not help prevent her cutting, and made no difference at all to the extreme depression she has suffered for many years. I'm sorry Lesley.
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Post by epeanymous on May 28, 2015 16:09:20 GMT
If the point is to prevent hanky-panky, I'd make sure that you have straight kids first . I'm so sorry - I wasn't trying to be offensive. I shouldn't respond to posts when I'm tired and distracted Ha, I wasn't offended at all. I was just thinking back to my teen days and how many parents thought that their kids were downright prudish based on what they assumed was the dating behavior (or lack thereof) on the part of their kids. They had no idea .
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blue tulip
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Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on May 28, 2015 16:26:24 GMT
my boys are 7 and 10, and their doors are closed 99.9% of the time so our littlest dog doesn't sneak in there and poop in their closets.
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Post by withapea on May 28, 2015 16:34:11 GMT
My kid's doors are both opened and closed. They spend a lot of time in there. It has never crossed my mind to have rule about it. I think my kids need their own space and privacy so I'd never infringe on that without cause.
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Post by BoilerUp! on May 28, 2015 17:22:18 GMT
Their choice
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Anita
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Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on May 28, 2015 17:34:54 GMT
DD 15 can close her door, but I don't want her to lock it. I'm always afraid of fire and not being able to get to her. She has locked her door a couple of times, and I informed her that locking the door could mean the loss of her door. I give her plenty of privacy. I don't enter her room without knocking and I don't go in when she isn't there unless I'm putting laundry in. It's not exactly a place I want to hang out. But she also knows that until she is paying for the place, we have parental rights to check up on her. So far she has given no indication that we need to. She even shows me her phone texts, so I'm not worried about her yet.
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on May 28, 2015 18:01:18 GMT
No rules here.
Close it if you want.
The only time my daughter closes her door that I have noticed is when..
1. She is getting dressed 2. when she is giggling with a friend on the phone about a cute boy. 3. When she is practicing her guitar.
We all sleep with our bedroom doors open.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 11:28:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 18:08:41 GMT
No door open/closed rules for us, except for 16 y.o. DD when her boyfriend or other boys are over (then they remain open). None of our kids keep theirs closed for long extents anyway. When we built our house, though, we intentionally didn't put locks on any bedroom doors besides the master bedroom. Everyone is respectful about knocking.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
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Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
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Post by tiffanytwisted on May 28, 2015 19:22:54 GMT
We never had a rule when they were that age, either and the door was usually left open. Actually, the one time my older one (he was 10 at the time) closed the door and put a note on it saying not to disturb him because he was doing his homework, I caught him on the computer looking at porn. Seriously? The note might as well have said 'Hurry up & come in, Mom. I'm doing something really gross!'. So I guess I should have had a door open rule, huh?
Nowadays, they don't even close the door when they're changing. And I wish they would.
We do have a rule about closing the door when they're playing Xbox. I really don't care to hear WWF, thankyouverymuch.
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Post by kandie on May 28, 2015 20:12:20 GMT
my 14 and 15 yr old DDs always have their doors shut. They like their privacy. I know before entering just like I would expect them to do for me.
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Post by giatocj on May 28, 2015 20:22:49 GMT
Shut is fine with me because I think all kids need some level of privacy. It's never really been an issue for either of us...if the door is shut, I knock, say "incoming" and just go in. Another thing is, we bought him a new amp for his birthday and he plays LOUD. I REALLY prefer the door shut then.
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Post by snappinsami on May 28, 2015 20:31:19 GMT
As others have said, if a kid really wants to do something you don't want them to do (cutting, etc.), they'll find a way, even if you make them keep their doors open.
I like DD (14) to feel like she has a sense of privacy. She's in there all the time. I used to have a rule that she needed to keep the door open at night because we wanted to make sure she went to bed at a decent time. At this point, though, that's on her. If she's up too late and tired the next day, not my problem.
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keithurbanlovinpea
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Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on May 28, 2015 20:31:20 GMT
I grew up in a door open house and it made me crazy. Now my mother was a not-so-well-controlled bipolar sufferer and we went through some pretty bizarre times with paranoia and such; but I had always assumed that the door open policy was about not trusting me. I could close it when I was changing or working on homework, but otherwise it was open even when we slept (and oh my god mom, do you have to be so freaking noisy when you wake up before dawn). Maybe I would not have thought the rule so arbitrary or about trust if she had told me why she wanted it open.
I hated it with a passion and I swore I would never give my kids reason to think I mistrusted them. As others have posted, my policy is there is no policy. Open or shut, I don't care. They go through phases. Now if they give me reason or suspicion to think something is amiss, then all bets are off.
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on May 28, 2015 20:57:03 GMT
I never thought about it. I guess mostly they are closed. Even with friends over. My daughter and her girlfriends really don't want her brother bothering them when they are doing their "things" so sometimes they even lock the door. My son gets so loud playing video games with friends I yell at them to shut the door.
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