Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 14:01:59 GMT
Just wondering if you have a long commute, how long you are gone in total with your work day and commute combined?
Was it worth it?
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on May 30, 2015 14:03:39 GMT
I travel less than 15 miles, but with traffic, can take as long as two hours.
It is absolutely, positively not worth it. I can't imagine how much of my life is spent sitting in traffic.
I've asked to be reassigned somewhere closer to where I live.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 14:06:36 GMT
I once had a commute that was at least 60 minutes and could be up to 120 minutes each way.
At the time, I thought it was worth it, but once I stopped and realized how much more I enjoyed by life without it, I vowed to never again have a long commute again. 30 minutes each way would be my absolute maximum, but in reality I've never gone over 15 minutes since then.
My commute was before I was married and had a child. It was miserable enough. I can't imagine it with a family.
I would either move closer to the job or find a different job. That's just too much life to give up IMO (not to mention the money and stress).
ETA: Though I didn't need to be at work at 8, if I left at 7, I may or may not get there on time. So I routinely left at 6 to miss the worst of the traffic, and would often be at work by 7. Then, in the evening, even though my day was done around 5, I never left before 6 because traffic was too bad. If I left at 6, I'd probably be home around 7. Thirteen hours a day away from home. No thanks.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on May 30, 2015 14:12:27 GMT
I had a 50 minute commute once. Mostly all highway. I was gone from 6:30 AM - 5:30 PM. I didn't really mind it. I liked listening to music and singing on my way to work, and decompressing on the drive home. I didn't have a family though, just a husband who got home even later than I did.
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Post by 2peafaithful on May 30, 2015 14:12:46 GMT
My dh does and he is OK with it. He says I have never lived close to work so he accepts it. Personally I wish it wasn't as much as it was. We live in FW and he works in Dallas. He is gone 12-13 hours a day and is driving at least 3 of those. He says he doesn't want to live closer to work and that our life is over here. With my middle son we tried to move a few years ago before he started high school. Our house didn't sell. Now the market is great and would sell but now he is at a place of needing to finish where he started. Plus one of the programs we are in I found out only offers transportation if he is FW and not an area suburb. So I suppose the Lord knew and was looking out for days ahead that we didn't know what would be needed. Now our youngest is in a school (private) close to home and we love it so I think we have another dozen years over here. lol We will probably be free to move about the time my dh is retiring and than we won't need to move. If my dh hated it and complained about it then it would be much harder. He is OK with it and has learned to use the time to unwind, listen to books, get work done (phone calls or conference calls) and sometimes our son will call him on his way back home if he is missing it.
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Post by Karmady on May 30, 2015 14:14:38 GMT
I have commuted from Hamilton to Toronto for a few years. Was it worth it? No. I hated every second of it. The traffic was horrendous. Sixteen to twenty lanes of stopped traffic. It often took 2+ hours to get home. Too much stress.
At my current job, I visit schools all over Southern Ontario. I don't mind the commute at all. I prep the night before and get up super early but the traffic isn't bad and I often drive through rural areas which is relaxing. Luckily, I don't have to drive past the Hamilton boundary (into Halton/Peel) to the east so I miss the crazy traffic.
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Post by Woobster on May 30, 2015 14:15:18 GMT
My drive is about 20 minutes in the morning (I have to be there at 0600) and 30 minutes on my way home in the afternoon. I'm gone for a total of 11 hours a day... More if I have to run any errands on my way home. I would love a shorter drive, but I don't want to live any closer to the airport. I'm lucky that my drive is as easy as it is.
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Post by miominmio on May 30, 2015 14:15:28 GMT
I had a four hour daily commute....it nearly killed me! I was exhausted all the time, blood pressure almost thru the roof..... Always feeling I didn't spend enough time with the kids.... No. To me it wasn't worth it, even though I loved my job as a legal advisor. Is it fulfilling to be a SAHM? No, it isn't (not to me), but I have my degree, it's not becoming obsolete any time soon, so sometime in the future I'll work again.
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Post by ajsweetpea on May 30, 2015 14:17:54 GMT
My longest was about 40 minutes or so, but with traffic it could be significantly longer. I didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like I was wasting so much of the day in the car. I eventually moved closer to my job... so close, in fact, that I didn't even need to get on the highway to get to work. It was great! I found that I was less tired/grumpy when I didn't have to make the commute anymore.
At one point, my husband was traveling 1 1/2 hours per day (each way) to get to work. After a year, he found a new job which was closer to home, but still somewhat of a commute. It made him so much happier and we were very grateful to have more time together as a family. Long commutes really stink but I realize they are a part of life sometimes. I think if you have satisfaction with your job or can earn a really good salary, maybe the commute wouldn't be so overwhelming!
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Post by KelleeM on May 30, 2015 14:22:44 GMT
I leave at 5:50 am and get home around 4:40 pm. I work from 7:00 until 3:30. I'm usually at work 20-30 minutes early but if I leave later traffic would be worse and I'd risk being late. I would love to live closer to work but that would mean way higher housing costs since work is very close to Boston. I don't hate it most days.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2015 14:27:23 GMT
I had a 50 minute commute once. Mostly all highway. I was gone from 6:30 AM - 5:30 PM. I didn't really mind it. I liked listening to music and singing on my way to work, and decompressing on the drive home. I didn't have a family though, just a husband who got home even later than I did. I did about the same or a bit longer for three years. I worked in a hospital in another state and had to be on-call every five weeks. That was back in the day when everyone used beepers. Mine didn't have coverage past a certain point on my commute so many days I'd get home only to see my then-husband standing there with the phone in his hand saying, "It's the hospital." And I'd have to turn around and head back there. I did love the work I was doing though. I was the social worker for a large NICU. Toughest work I've ever done, but it was very rewarding in it's own way. How far a commute are you considering, ashley? I could see losing time to a long commute being frustrating with kids the ages of yours.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 30, 2015 14:28:02 GMT
When I was young and starting my career, I had about a 45 min drive. That drive today would be over 90 mins. I didn't mind so much before kids. I would have hated it if I had kids. I'm glad I was a SAHM. Now my drive is less than 10 mins and it's only three mornings a week.
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Post by KikiPea on May 30, 2015 14:28:05 GMT
Not me, but DH...he drove 40+ miles one way, taking about an hour in the morning (Leaving at 4:30) and a hour + in the evenings (Leaving at 3:30). He did that for over 7 years. The only thing that helped him not be miserable was that it was mostly HWY miles, listening to audio books/podcasts.
We moved last year, because he was tired of it. Now, his commute is 16 miles one way and takes about 30 minutes.
My furthest job was only 24 miles, but it was on a tollway, and took me an hour to get there. Totally NOT worth the pain.
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Post by snappinsami on May 30, 2015 14:29:35 GMT
My longest commute was 36 miles each way. On paper, it should have taken around 40 minutes. In reality, it was usually closer to an hour, especially during the evening commute. I tried to leave at 7am to miss some of the morning traffic. And I'd have to leave at 5 in order to make it to DD's daycare before they closed at 6. I was gone 11-12 hours a day. When I first got the job, I thought it would be worth it. After a while, though, the company I was working for turned out to be a nightmare. When I finally gave my notice, my VP said that it was obvious that I wasn't a fit for the company because, in his words, work/life balance goes both ways, and I was obviously more focused on the "life" part. Any doubt I had about leaving was pretty much put to rest after that. Early in his career, DH had around a 45 minute commute but he was able to take the train. He loved it. He still says it was one of his favorite times in his career because he could read on the train and otherwise make good use of the time.
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Post by Merge on May 30, 2015 14:31:31 GMT
Until recently, I commuted anywhere from 35 minutes to an hour or more each way, depending on traffic, with my kids. If we had after-school activities our time away from home could be 10,12 or 14 hours - even for a 7 PM activity it wasn't worth it to go home in between. Not worth it. We just moved. My new commute by car? Less than five minutes.
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on May 30, 2015 14:32:59 GMT
In my last job I worked 4 9-hour days. I left the house at 6:30am and would get home close to 12 hours later. With 2 young kids it was horrible. When dh was out of town they'd be in before and after school care. We'd all come home hungry, tired and cranky. Yes, it was nice to always have a 3 day weekend, but it still didn't make up for the long days Mon - Thur.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 14:39:55 GMT
Thanks for all of the replies, everyone. Your overwhelming "not worth it" replies are just what I expected. Spongemom Scrappants, not sure exactly at this point. I'm looking at jobs in Toronto because that's where all of the jobs are, and I live in Niagara Region (approx 115 km = 70 mi). DH had a job interview in downtown Toronto on Friday and it took him 3 hours to get home. We also only have one car right now, and it would be a good year+ before we could buy a second car, so I'm also looking at taking the train, but the train doesn't come to my town so I'd have to take a bus and then transfer a few times. It looks like commuting that way would be about 2.5-3 hours. So, I'm thinking the commute would be 4-6 hours a day total, on top of a 8 hour work day. I'm trying to remind myself that lots of moms work 12 hour shifts, and do it. (But that's only 3-4 days a week, not a full five, if that makes much difference). I keep finding REALLY appealing jobs and places of employment in the downtown Toronto area. The one I found this morning is such an amazing fit.. it would be engineering and growing stem cell lines. OMG. That's exactly what I do. I had a paper from my MSc published using stem cell lines I engineered. Part of me wants to do whatever it takes to get a job like that.. and part of me just wants to give up because I'm not sure either my family or I could handle it. Just wanted to feel out what other moms did with their long commutes. I am also sort of wondering if the hours on a train could be used for my own downtime/personal time.. I could read, I could possibly even blog/write. It would be slightly more useful time than if I was driving on the highway and stuck in traffic for 6 hours a day. Oh, and there is NO hope of us ever moving closer to Toronto as housing prices are way beyond anything we could ever afford. Even moving down the highway 45 minutes to our old town would easily still be a 2 hour train commute, and houses are at least 2-3x more than we are paying here. So I'd probably be working just to pay a more expensive mortgage.
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on May 30, 2015 14:42:06 GMT
I used to drive 26 miles one way to work in downtown Fort Worth and hated it, it took an hour or more to get to work or to get back home. It took about 40 minutes to drive there but then I had to catch the subway and then walk, or should I say almost run 7 blocks. If I paid parking and only walked a few blocks, it STILL took as long or longer so I did the free parking and walking since it was the same time difference and parking was SO expensive.
Then I got a job that had FREE parking in a garage, still took the same amount of time but at least the cold wind in the winter was cut out! Then they wanted the two of us to come in a little earlier or later to cover the phones a little extra time for our out of state offices. I tried 7 to 4, STILL the same, then I tried 7:30 to 4:30 and it cut 20 minutes out of my commute each way. LOVED it, and with less traffic stress, I wasn't as worn out. A long commute just isn't worth it to me, not to mention the cost of gas, etc. and wear and tear on a vehicle.
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Post by auntkelly on May 30, 2015 14:50:27 GMT
My longest commute was 30-45 minutes each way. I think that is doable.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 30, 2015 14:57:02 GMT
My commute is 26 miles each way. It takes me about 25-35 minutes on the weekend and an hour on weekdays. I work 12 hour shifts so I'm usually gone at least 14 hrs.
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Post by auntkelly on May 30, 2015 14:59:34 GMT
Do any of the companies you are looking at offer flex hours?
I live in Houston and almost all of the oil companies give their employees every other Friday off. The long weekend is really refreshing and gives employees extra time to spend w/ their families.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:05:19 GMT
Do any of the companies you are looking at offer flex hours? I have no idea. These are all academic/research places I'm considering right now. Some of the work is needed daily, every day -- like taking care of cells. When I was in grad school and did this work I had to work 7 days a week, the cells can't go even a day without being taken care of. I'm not sure how these labs/institutions handle this kind of daily work. There are also a few pharmaceutical companies I've seen job postings for that I'd be qualified for, but working in industry is very stringent and strict, and I doubt there would be much flexibility in those positions -- I've heard from other people I know that have experience/familiarity with industry that the security is very strict and you're basically locked out before 9 and after 5.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 30, 2015 15:07:06 GMT
For 16 years I commuted from the 'burbs in to the City for work by commuter rail. Round trip each day my 3 hours door to door (there's a lot of waiting around when taking the train). Didn't phase me all that much because it's all I knew. THEN I was asked to go to another office 2 days a week. I would drive and it was 30 minutes door to door. After that I HATED my train commute. I ended up taking another job (same company) in another office (in another state) and that commute is now 30 minutes door to door. I don't know that I could ever go back to doing the daily train grind again. Especially after this winter where the trains were just a hot mess.
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raindancer
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Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on May 30, 2015 15:07:57 GMT
I think commuting by train would be a lot less stressful, give you time to be productive and be less exhausting than driving that commute. I think at first with transfers etc. It would be really stressful until you had a routine down.
I commute because we uilt a home on purpose where we live to get our kids in a top school district. I'm gone about 10-11 hours a day when I work. And school days vary by semester. I think the commute is worthe it, but I also chose that distance going in and knew what it would look like.
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on May 30, 2015 15:10:33 GMT
I doubt it's likely in your field, but any chance you could work from home some? My dh's job is about 2hours away, but he can work from home at least a few days a week. Lately he's been traveling so he goes into the office on Monday (he's home by 6 for dinner), leaves for his trip Tuesday after the kids go to school and back Thursday before bedtime, then he works from home Friday. Weeks that he needs to be in the office 4 or 5 days really stress him out, but as long as he doesn't have to do the long drive every day it works for us. We've talked about moving closer but he says he doesn't want to live less than an hour away, he enjoys the decompress time. I don't want to uproot our lives unless we gain a significant amount of time with him (like less than 30min drive).
I worked almost an hour from home. It was fine as there was no other option (we live in the middle of nowhere) now I'm a s/wahm. The only thing that bothered me was being so far away in case of an emergency.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:15:36 GMT
I think commuting by train would be a lot less stressful, give you time to be productive and be less exhausting than driving that commute. I think at first with transfers etc. It would be really stressful until you had a routine down. I think you are right.
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Post by Karmady on May 30, 2015 15:15:49 GMT
The jobs do sound awesome Ashley. Are there no options at McMaster? Between the new McMaster Innovation Park and the beautiful new McMaster Medical facility downtown, you'd think new opportunities would become available.
Do you have a child care provider lined up?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:16:53 GMT
I doubt it's likely in your field, but any chance you could work from home some? I think there is less than a 0% chance of this being possible, unfortunately. The kind of job I'm qualified for is a hands-on, in lab job, doing experiments, making stuff, growing cells, etc.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 1:20:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:22:05 GMT
The jobs do sound awesome Ashley. Are there no options at McMaster? Between the new McMaster Innovation Park and the beautiful new McMaster Medical facility downtown, you'd think new opportunities would become available. Do you have a child care provider lined up? I've looked on the McMaster website and don't even see any careers options??? My mom and dad would probably look after the girls, I'm just not sure they're up for 12 or 14 hour days...
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2015 15:39:15 GMT
ashley that commute sounds pretty brutal to be honest. I would hope you LOVED the job and it was high-paying to offset that. That's another valid consideration. What would be your plan for caring for sick children or emergencies? Am I remembering right that your husband commutes, too? You'd need a pretty rock-solid plan for the kids.
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