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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2015 15:40:07 GMT
Nevermind, I just saw that you do have your parents available.  |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:19:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:45:02 GMT
DH says no. He hates it. The commute is making him dread his job which he normally enjoys. He's looking for something closer to home but not having much luck as his current job pays well and not many places are willing to match it.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:19:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:45:55 GMT
ashley that commute sounds pretty brutal to be honest. I would hope you LOVED the job and it was high-paying to offset that. That's another valid consideration. What would be your plan for caring for sick children or emergencies? Am I remembering right that your husband commutes, too? You'd need a pretty rock-solid plan for the kids. It does sound bad, doesn't it?  The work would be amazing -- seriously, I am awesome at this kind of stuff. Taking care of cells and making DNA is totally my thing. (And I don't think I'm good at anything, so if I'm saying I'm awesome and talented at this, I know it must be true!). The pay probably isn't great.. I really don't know what comparable jobs at other institutions pay, but I would expect somewhere around the 30-35k mark is about the best I could hope for. |
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,955 
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on May 30, 2015 15:49:09 GMT
I live in Southern California and my current commute is 50 miles each way. I leave at 6 to be there by 7am and I get off work at 5 and get home anywhere between 6-7pm depending on traffic. I've been doing it for 17 1/2 yrs. so even if it's not ideal, it's something you just get used to doing.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2015 15:51:08 GMT
How frustrating to have work that makes you light up like that and, at the same time, have so many roadblocks to being able to experience it.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:19:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 15:57:10 GMT
How frustrating to have work that makes you light up like that and, at the same time, have so many roadblocks to being able to experience it. Yeah, it is really frustrating. We chose to move here because we could afford a house, I didn't really expect that it would be so impossible to find a place to work. |
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anaterra
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Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on May 30, 2015 16:19:00 GMT
I work 12hr shifts 4 days on 4 days off... there is a woman who lives in a town 2 hrs away... so she is gone from home just to get home sleep a few hrs n do it again... its not by choice... we get paid pretty good... she is a single mom so her kids are in a town where her family is... if she moved here... it would cost more in housing plus childcare... so basically when u need $$ to feed ur kids you do what you gotta do...
I'm not trying to make assumptions but if u n ur husband are both looking for work... then the commute doesn't really matter... pull on ur super hero underoos n do it... sometimes life sucks... but it gets better... good luck on whatever road yall take
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Post by momof3pits on May 30, 2015 16:26:53 GMT
Honestly I don't think that sort of commute would be worth it. 14 hour days away from your girls? I wouldn't do that unless I had no other choice in terms of needing the money.
I'm a SAHM so no commute, but DH has a crap commute. His commute is 57 miles, but he has to drive through Detroit to get to work. It can take anywhere from an hour to two hours depending on traffic and the construction that always seems to be going on. And he works 12 hours. He absolutely hates it. But the housing costs by his work have prevented us from relocating bc we can't swallow paying over 100k more for what we have now when it's just 57 miles from us.
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Post by utmr on May 30, 2015 16:30:54 GMT
Years ago, before. DH or kids, I worked in North Dallas and drove 55 miles each way. The commute ran 1:15 in the morning and 1:00-2:00 in the evening. At that point in my life, it was worth it for career reasons. But. I wasn't married, no kids and I travelled 50-75%, so I wasn't actually in the office every day.
This was early 90's, so forecasting wasn't nearly as good as today, and there was no "telecommuting" option. There also weren't the new freeways and toll roads there are today, so I was slogging up the miserable Airport Freeway twice a day. My big concern was being caught in an ice storm in the winter. So I kept cat litter, granola bars, water, extra coat, clothes etc in the trunk in case of problems.
Back then, it was worth it for the career advancement it led to. Would I do it today, absolutely not. Now I have a 15 mile commute that can take 1:30 on bad days and I hate it.
If it was a long commute on clear freeway the whole way, it might be one thing. But city traffic, with kids home, assuming other job options were available, wouldn't be worth it for me.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:19:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 16:34:41 GMT
I've travelled about 2.5 hours a day and it was not worth it at all. The constant tiredness and leaving early getting home late just didn't suit me. I wouldn't do it again.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,039
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on May 30, 2015 17:02:08 GMT
I work 10 hour days plus a half hour for lunch and an hour commute each way, so 12.5 hour days for me 4 days a week.
It is worth it to me at this time. If I had younger kids it wouldn't be. Mine are 21 and almost 19 and almost 16. I could chose shorter days by going five days a week but the commute would be the same (a little worse actually). I'd rather just have a whole extra day free.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
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Post by Nanner on May 30, 2015 17:34:33 GMT
About 40 mins in the morning and an hour at night. DH and I drive in together, so we are at least spending time together then. Our kids are adults, so we don't have to worry about anything pressing in regard to them.
so, although it's longer than I would like, it's worth it to live out of the city.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on May 30, 2015 17:38:05 GMT
Door to door (drove to train station, walk from train to office) was 1 hr 15 minutes on the best of days.
No, it wasn't worth it for many reasons but sometimes you do what you do to pay the bills.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 1:19:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 17:40:43 GMT
I'm not trying to make assumptions but if u n ur husband are both looking for work... then the commute doesn't really matter... pull on ur super hero underoos n do it... sometimes life sucks... but it gets better... good luck on whatever road yall take Yeah, I get what you are saying, but at the same time, I do need to be reasonable about where I'm looking for work. And I think most of these jobs are long-term options, maybe hoping to get a job there in the next few months to a year. It's not like there is this amazing job just waiting for me. I also really cannot risk the potential of actually getting a job with this long commute and then quitting after a short period, because my field is SO SO SO tiny, that it's likely I'll be putting myself at risk of never getting a job in my field again. It's so small that I already have direct connections to 3/4 of the people on the board of this one particular organization that inspired me to ask this question today. DH did apply for a job and had an interview on Friday for it, in the same location that I'm trying to decide about. But for us, it's more worth it for him to commute since he's always commuted and I've always put our family first... and he would make 2-2.5x as much as I would (because he has a Ph.D. and I only have a M.Sc.). I've applied for dozens of jobs in our city, so I *am* doing what we need to do for our family right now, but not only have I not had any job offers yet, the kinds of options available here really aren't what I want to do forever. |
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Post by ntsf on May 30, 2015 18:02:32 GMT
my dh has commuted an hour to 2 hours for the last 20 yrs. it is a total drag..but his salary makes it worth it..and I only work part time.. he can now take a bus..but is reluctant to do so. I wish he would he leaves early and leaves work early to make it a bit better. at least the freeway is beautiful..SF to silicon valley...
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kate
Drama Llama
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Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on May 30, 2015 18:22:11 GMT
Mine is about 50 minutes in the morning and 75-90 minutes in the afternoon. I take two subways and a bus, which means it's chopped up - I don't get a good long stretch to read or do something else. We couldn't afford to live any closer, and there are no jobs like mine near where I live.
My "time away from home" varied greatly. On a good day, I leave at 7 and get home at 5:00. That happens once or twice a week. The other days, I get home between 6:30 and 7:30pm.
I wish I lived nearer to my and my kids' schools, but alas, it's not to be...
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on May 30, 2015 19:33:58 GMT
When daughter was 2 I had to be at the bus stop at 5:45 am and I finally got to work at 8:35am I had to take bus to babysitters house then I had to take bus to work. Then I worked from 9 am to 6 pm and turned around and di the same long bus ride home. There were the occasional day the the babysitter would meet me at the bus transfer station so I could catch the second bus that took me to my house and didn't have to go to her house and then to mine.. most of the time I didn't get home until 8:30 or 9 pm. I did that for 6 months and transfered to a shop that was closer to home and switched babysitters so I didn't have that big commute. I hated it.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
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Post by scrapaddie on May 30, 2015 19:40:19 GMT
I hated the commute to work which was about 45 minutes on a good day and I hated having to work when my daughter was young. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother I wanted to be with my child. However, many years later, I am happy it worked out that way. My ex DH left after 32 years of marriage. Thankfully I was able to take care of myself financially.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on May 30, 2015 19:46:09 GMT
it's pretty much a given where we live-- we live in a mid-sized town a bit southwest of the Phoenix suburbs (Valley of the Sun). We live 35 miles from where I work, and given the traffic situation, I can be in traffic from 40 min - 1 hour to get to work... add that to my workday, and I'm away from home for easily 10-11 hours a day, since I usually add running any needed errands onto my commute.
We live where we do because 1) the mortgage payment is alot cheaper than closer in to the city; 2) we like being farther away from the city so we can see the stars at night; 3) we like being farther away from the city well, because we like being farther away from the city.
I LOVE my job-- I've been working now for between 20 - 25 years. I ended up hating the last job I had for various reasons. The company I work at now finally feels like I can make a 'career' out of it, if you know what I mean, and I feel like I'm finally being recognized for the skills and knowledge I've acquired over my 20 year career. For me, it's totally worth it. Do I wish I had more time at home? yeah, but I love my job, and we really like where we live. So we deal with it.
(fyi, we don't have kids-- we have three dogs and three cats, but no kids.)
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Post by ingrid6 on May 30, 2015 20:29:15 GMT
The longest commute I had was when my 2 oldest were both under the age of 3. It was a minimum of a hour & 1/2 each way (heading into DC from Maryland). It sucked but I was lucky enough to have my mom watch the girls, which made it a bit easier. Years later dh and I bought a B&B so there was no commute. Then 15 years ago we made another change and we have less than a 10 minute drive to work. Out of all 3 situations, the 10 minute commute is by far the best!
Was that long commute worth it? At the time we thought it was but in hindsight, no. I had a fantastic paying job with amazing benefits - but if I had to do it again I would try and find other options. It was such a long day for the kids, my mom & for us.
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Post by M~ on May 30, 2015 20:32:56 GMT
Just wondering if you have a long commute, how long you are gone in total with your work day and commute combined? Was it worth it? It's 2 1/2 hours daily.
I leave home at 6am and don't come back until 5pm.
My house is far from downtown Miami, which is where I work. Mostly everyone I know has at least 1 hour commute each way, whether we live north, south, or west of Miami. Believe it or not, my office is pretty centrally located.
Sigh. Is it worth it? It's where the jobs are. My dream is to move closer to my work. We'll see. I know a person who lives in Miami Beach and her commute is 20 minutes each way. I'd love to live at the beach or in the Brickell/downtown area, but I'm not too keen on apartment living, if I'm honest.
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Post by moveablefeast on May 30, 2015 20:34:29 GMT
I used to commute about 90 minutes each way. Not worth it for three times the salary, never mind the pittance they actually paid. The only way I would do that now that I have a child is if it were absolutely necessary to pay my bills and there was absolutely no alternative.
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Post by cmpeter on May 30, 2015 20:39:47 GMT
When we first moved to Seattle I had a 45 minute commute each way. It was worth it because eventually our office closed and we were all allowed to work from home.
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Post by bessieb on May 30, 2015 20:40:46 GMT
Many many years ago my commute was 1 hour 45 minutes each way if there was no traffic. I would leave home at 5.45am and get home about 8.30pm. Stuck it out for 2 years while I loved my job but then a work merger changed my role to one I had been doing 12 years previously- wasn't prepared to travel that far for a rubbish job ( even though they so generously left my salary the same for a much lower job- their words not mine)so left 6 months later.
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Post by supersoda on May 30, 2015 20:53:02 GMT
My typical commute is about 45 minutes each way l, but it can get a lot longer. Friday took nearly two hours.
Yes, it is worth it. I am a professional working in my chosen field and paid well. If I want to stay in my preferred practice area I need to work in the city. If I want to send my kids to good schools I need to live in the suburbs.
But DH and I plan to move into the city as soon as our youngest two graduate from high school in four years. The commute really is draining and my biggest quality of life issue.
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Post by epeanymous on May 30, 2015 21:52:57 GMT
The longest commute I had was maybe six months after I started dating dh. He was attending grad school, and I had a summer job in the city. It was about 1.5 hours each way, all by mass transit (commuter line to two subway lines).
It was so horrifying to me (and I didn't have kids and was in this relatively new shiny relationship) that after a few weeks of it I got a tiny sublet in the city instead. Sorry, future dh. I hate commuting, as it turns out.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 30, 2015 23:11:09 GMT
I work 9:30am to 5:30pm - a slightly later start so I can drive the kids to school. So I leave home at 8:30am and get home sometime after 6:30pm. I freakin hate it. It's hard to be organised when you're away from home for 10 hours every (week)day. I'm not sure that I can answer your question "Is it worth it?" I have to work to pay the bills. If I could find a job that paid the same but was closer to home I would leave my current job in a heartbeat.
Ashley, my 2 - 2.5 hours a day is awful, the idea of 4 - 6 hours commute every day makes me shudder. I just don't know how you could turn that much time into productive time. At the end of the day, you're still going to have to do all the things a SAHM has to do (cooking, cleaning, shopping etc) but you're going to have 12 hours less per day in which to do it. But I will say, the job you have described sounds so incredibly awesome. It's a field that I have always wished I was smart enough to get into. |
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Post by Daikon on May 30, 2015 23:51:42 GMT
I had a 45 minute ride each way and in the winter it could stretch to a 2 hour drive. Most days it didn't bother me, except when I was sick or the kids got sick and I needed to leave work. A year ago I moved closer to work and I have a 15 minute drive. I love it now.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
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Post by rickmer on May 30, 2015 23:57:52 GMT
i was stuck at work summer 2003 (?) when the great blackout hit eastern seaboard. i normally took transit which would take about 30 mins by streetcar (with one transfer). i had to walk home and it took me almost 2 hours. all of sudden, it seemed so very far away.
now i work a block and half from my home and sometimes when the job drives me crazy, i remember that jobs a block and half away from my residential area are hard to find!!
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Post by scraphollie27 on May 31, 2015 0:48:13 GMT
I think going from SAHM with four children to full-time with a six hour commute would be brutal. I went from SAHM to full time with a five minute commute (and only two, school-aged children) and had really tough time making the transition. I almost quit numerous times while I was trying to work the bugs out both at home and at work.
Is there a part-time job doing anything in your community so you can get your feet wet with childcare, etc before talking this giant leap? I know it's frustrating and I wish you the best with your decisions.
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