hoping this was bad taste, comment on deceased spouses

Meh just a guy swinging his dick. Pretty common for some. They like to act like soulless jerks in front of other men. Thankfully I didn't marry one like that.

i would interpret this:
A man mentioned his wife passing away and leaving up her decorations, etc. Other men said "wait until you get your floozy, you will take that shit down asap"

as:
a man acknowledged something emotional
other men couldn't cope with that so said something insensitive to reinforce how tough they are

It would depend on how it was said. I could see my SO or his brother saying it to each other, but it would be in a joking kind of way and not at all serious.

Having said that, my dad remarried in just under two years after my mother passed away.  It hurt my sister a lot and bothered me, but at least we all liked our stepmother. I found out a few years ago that no matter how much he may care for my stepmother, he still loves my mother just as much as he ever did. I saw the evidence of it in the iris he put on her grave on her birthday (I'd never visited her grave so close to her birthday before). They were her favorite flower. And just this past Mother's Day, he sent me pictures of the flowers he put on both her grave and on my grandmother's grave. They may move on, but they don't forget.

Jen

I do subscribe to the theory that men who were happy in their marriages remarry quickly but I married a man who was widowed for over two years and didn't date at all until we met and my best friend died over two years ago and her husband has yet to start dating. I do think they are unusual though. Both did take down their wife's decorations though, although dh did leave a couple of pictures of his wife out until he moved.

I don't think the ink was dry on his divorce papers when my father remarried.

Was he already involved with this woman when he and your mom separated? If so, that is pretty common. And very hard on the kids.

I was very young, so I don't know how happy my parents' marriage was, but my father had a new woman in his bed within a month of my mother dying. He met her the week we moved back to his home state and he passed up visiting other family members with us a couple of weeks later. I came home from that visit to find his girlfriend playing house already. She moved in three months later but they didn't get married until the Army forced his hand three years later.

That was back in the 70s and I actually lost a few friends because their parents found out my father was "living in sin" in our conservative town.

Whether or not he "needed" someone, his actions were completely selfish and very damaging to my relationship with him. It wasn't until a good 15 years later, after I was married myself, that I was able to feel comfortable with him.

I think there are just as many women who remarry quickly.

A friend of mine is already looking for a boyfriend , even tho she professes her undying forever love for her deceased husband.

I do think men tend to remarry more quickly than women. And I also think that's a crass thing to say.

And what has it been six months and Teresa Collins just announced her engagement. That seems really fast. :/

Personally I think some of the responses I've read here are in poor taste, but totally expected of people that have no idea what it's like to lose a spouse. It's one of those types of situations that you have no idea how you would cope until you're in the situation yourself. Instead of judging them try being supportive.

My husband was 39 when he died. He was healthy until he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and died 4 months later. We were married 19 years (together 22) and thought we would have many more years together too. If you are married either you or your spouse will be widowed at some point unless you happen to die at the same time. Hopefully people will be supportive of you and won't judge you when you choose to move forward after such a loss.

After 27 years of marriage, my MIL passed away and my FIL had a new girlfriend within 6 months. That was about 3 years ago and he's had MANY more since. He's moved in with a few and also got rid of most of MIL's things pretty quickly. (Had a huge yard sale about 3 weeks after her funeral.)

Makes me sad, and a little disgusted, but I'm told it's normal.

L

Needs.... Or Wants?

Widowed folk cant do anything right. Either they move on too soon, or they don't move on soon enough. They get rid of things (for all anyone knows it was stuff they have always wanted to get rid of) and people complain, or they hoard and people complain. They are too sad or too happy. Honestly its enough to go through grief and the loss of your spouse without constantly having to deal with other peoples expectations on how they should or shouldn't grieve.

A year, to the day, after my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried. His children had a hissy fit. I was happy for him. If he was ready then so be it. Not my place to approve or disapprove. Now that I am a widow, I feel even more sorry that he was treated that way by friends and family. He deserves happiness in his life and if being remarried does that, then I support it. The widowed people I have met in my timeline (almost 3 years now) are a split. Some have moved on, others have not. In almost every single case, when one has moved on, some "well meaning" friend or family has to judge and criticize. Nobody is immune. If Jon Bon Jovi ever asks me to marry him, I can only imagine the responses my family will come up with (most won't be pleasant).