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Post by 2peaornot2pea on Jun 4, 2015 18:26:55 GMT
I would do the same thing you are doing. I would not want to be left alone with the child in the classroom, bathroom, or on the playground.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jun 4, 2015 18:28:36 GMT
I'm with you 100%!
Based on the past circumstance, you don't feel comfortable with this task, for obvious reasons.
It makes no sense, to me, why you would ever put yourself in that situation again.
And anyone over you who doesn't understand why....well watch your back, because it becomes obvious they don't have your best interest at heart.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jun 4, 2015 18:30:38 GMT
I agree with you 150%. Trust is a two way street. You've reached a dead end with this child and the parents.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jun 4, 2015 18:31:19 GMT
I am sorry to hear that you were falsely accused. I can't say that I would no longer help this child with their toileting unless there was a second person present. I would be too afraid that I would be accused again.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 18:31:22 GMT
As the parent of a child who is non verbal and not toilet trained, I would NOT want you taking him to the bathroom if I thought you did something to cause an injury. Why is the school telling you to continue helping this child?
FTR, I am NOT saying I believe the parent. I don't understand the administration at your school.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 18:54:18 GMT
Did you read that I never hurt, nor gave reason to believe I hurt the child? Child was asked what I do. They said "help me wipe and wash my hands." No mention of anything else. And as I said, they are verbal. And call it as it is. If I don't change them, they go all day. Some people refuse to change, so I try to be diligent. With the door open and visible to another adult. It was found that I was innocent of any and all complaint, just fyi. I know. I didn't say I believe the parent. You are being put in a very difficult position. I am just saying it makes no sense the school is trying to force you to do this when there's been a complaint. Even after being cleared. Believe me, I understand there are parents who are just kind of out there. If I were you, I would refuse as well.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Jun 4, 2015 18:57:56 GMT
I would think, legally, the school wouldn't want you helping the child. I think you are perfectly within your right to refuse to put yourself in this situation. Nothing good will come of it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 19:01:03 GMT
I'd request a different system be put in place with two care providers present. I wouldn't refuse to care for the child, I don't think, because it seems like that action would be akin to admitting guilt (even though I understand you say you did nothing wrong).
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Post by Really Red on Jun 4, 2015 19:15:43 GMT
That's awful. Nothing worse than such an accusation. I'm sorry that happened. I don't see anyone on this thread suggesting that something else happened, though. Perhaps you misread someone's post.
If I were you, I would NOT change that child again. Why would the parent even want you to, if they think you did anything.
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Post by myboysnme on Jun 4, 2015 19:34:23 GMT
I would change them with another person
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 19:34:55 GMT
Yes
Can the child be moved to another class ?
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Post by moveablefeast on Jun 4, 2015 19:38:46 GMT
Are you the only person available to care for this child in this instance or can you hand that duty off to someone else?
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 4, 2015 19:38:53 GMT
There needs to be a 2nd adult present from now on.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Jun 4, 2015 19:41:37 GMT
Can you change the child with another person there watching?
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Jun 4, 2015 19:54:33 GMT
Honestly, after receiving such a complaint I'm surprised that your administration (principal, special ed supervisor, or whoever it is) would even allow the current toileting plan for this student to continue as is. There needs to be a new plan prepared. I don't see why a second adult could not be present--maybe in the doorway or around the corner from the stall so that the child does not have to feel like a million people are watching him/her during this personal moment.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Jun 4, 2015 20:03:52 GMT
Being falsely accused must have been stressful for you. You really have no other choice but to protect yourself.
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Post by Jennifer C on Jun 4, 2015 20:07:27 GMT
I would have to say no. I'm surprised your supervisor is allowing this child or parent anywhere near you or any other employee after false accusations.
Jennifer
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 4, 2015 20:07:42 GMT
No. I would protect myself.
The new protocol should say two adults must be present, not only for this child, but for all of them.
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Post by papersilly on Jun 4, 2015 20:11:17 GMT
It's a poor use of time and resources for two people to change this child when one can. That one should not be you if the trust has been broken. I would not leave myself open to another incident. Someone else should change him.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 4, 2015 20:13:14 GMT
Do you have a union? What is the law? Written policy? You do not get to dictate policy as an employee.
If you want to keep your job you have to do what they tell you. For all you know, the admin hopes you quit over it.
Sometimes they have a different agenda than the one that is best for student or employee.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Jun 4, 2015 20:19:20 GMT
Ok, I must be missing something.
There is a bathroom protocol in place that you followed and, when there was doubt, you were cleared because a) you had done nothing wrong, and b) the protocol provided proof that you had done nothing wrong. It sounds to me like the protocol in place works, since you were investigated and cleared.
If my child came home and told me that something had happened in the restroom, I would demand an investigation, too. Who knows what the child said the first time they told the parent about the so called incident? This parent may be off there rocker, but they may also have thought they were acting with cause.
As to continuing to handle the child, I would be concerned that there is no longer any trust between you and the parent. How can your supervisors ask you to continue handling such a duty for this child when they know that this parent is suspicious of you? Unless you and the parent are able to meet with the supervisor to discuss the protocol and how you follow it, I would have a hard time with this child again. Who can be upbeat when dealing with someone whose parent is just looking for a reason to jump on them?
Marcy
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jun 4, 2015 20:21:48 GMT
I would not. No way. And if I found myself in a similar situation in the future I would insist on a 2nd adult present. Always, no exceptions.
We had a similar situation in our elementary school. The parent wanted the child ~8 or 9 years old to be assisted going to the bathroom by the nurse. The school refused because they were not equipped to provide that kind of service for a mainstreamed kid. They offered an alternative school. It was such a sad situation. The father was such a bully to parents and teachers at the school. We were all scared of him because he could be truly abusive. Unfortunately, it was the poor son who suffered because everybody treated him with kid gloves but no genuine warmth. This was in sharp contrast to another little boy with downs who was hugged and cheered at every turn, because a meltdown did not equal a raging call to the superintendent.
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grrlsmom
Full Member
Posts: 141
Jun 26, 2014 2:38:20 GMT
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Post by grrlsmom on Jun 4, 2015 20:25:11 GMT
Having been an aide, I cant figure out your statement 'some people refuse to change'. Hello, that's the job!Ya get used to it. Protect yourself.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jun 5, 2015 5:12:15 GMT
Stick to your guns and don't be on your own with this child (or any other, for that matter) especially where intimate care is involved.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jun 5, 2015 5:18:51 GMT
Did you read that I never hurt, nor gave reason to believe I hurt the child? Child was asked what I do. They said "help me wipe and wash my hands." No mention of anything else. And as I said, they are verbal. And call it as it is. If I don't change them, they go all day. Some people refuse to change, so I try to be diligent. With the door open and visible to another adult. It was found that I was innocent of any and all complaint, just fyi. I know. I didn't say I believe the parent. You are being put in a very difficult position. I am just saying it makes no sense the school is trying to force you to do this when there's been a complaint. Even after being cleared. Believe me, I understand there are parents who are just kind of out there. If I were you, I would refuse as well. I was thinking similar thoughts. I BELIEVE YOU. But under the circumstances I think a responsible parent would suggest someone else change their child, to avoid confusion or issues in the future. No harm, no foul, let's move on... Maybe you can suggest the school require this, in a way that doesn't show on your record? You are justified wanting to step away...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2015 5:35:46 GMT
It's a poor use of time and resources for two people to change this child when one can. That one should not be you if the trust has been broken. I would not leave myself open to another incident. Someone else should change him. Spend a day in a special needs class. At my daughter's elementary school there have been as many as four aides for one child. Of course the admin pulls hours from regular classroom aides to provide these other aides. Then My daughter had a teacher whose mother came in to help with the class because all aides were pulled from the 3-5 classes so they could hire more special ed aides.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jun 5, 2015 12:17:23 GMT
As the parent of a child who is non verbal and not toilet trained, I would NOT want you taking him to the bathroom if I thought you did something to cause an injury. Why is the school telling you to continue helping this child? FTR, I am NOT saying I believe the parent. I don't understand the administration at your school. While I understand what you are saying, your post comes off as a bit accusatory.
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Post by shannoots on Jun 5, 2015 12:40:17 GMT
Can you have a co-worker go in with you? When I was at a middle school, there were kids that needed help with the bathroom and two adults had to go in with them.
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Post by renateb on Jun 5, 2015 13:01:08 GMT
two adults at all times. continue to change child or have parents come in to change if that is an option.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Jun 5, 2015 13:15:30 GMT
The policy at our preschool is, ages 2/3 two teachers, one in the bathroom and one outside the open door. Ages 3/4, no teacher in the bathroom only outside the open door.
Really sad this policy had to be put in place because 3/4 year olds need help sometimes. But it is to protect child and teachers. So if a child can't wipe the teacher can go in but only if another teacher is right at the door. If a child has a potty accident at age 3/4 teachers can change one time. If same child has another accident, parents are called to come Change the child.
Ages 2/3 are older two's who are potty trained and young three's. The older three's are considered totally, without help potty trained.
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