|
Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 27, 2015 13:32:19 GMT
I'd let the two of them go alone to the actual concert, but someone would be driving them. I've done that with DD and friends since they were 15. That is something I would consider. That is what I was thinking. I would be nervous about them driving 3 hours home from a concert ! I hate driving at night so I would probably drive them and get a hotel to stay in and make more of an event out of it!
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Jun 27, 2015 13:42:07 GMT
My youngest is almost 17. He has been driving on his own for almost one year.
The concert I have zero issues with. The drive? A few issues for sure. Concerts aren't over until late, then a three hour drive would be really, really late. I would have a few issues with that- it would be hard for anyone of any age after a long day like that. (We were going to concerts way younger than your daughter, but the venue was just across town, so long drives were not part of the equation.)
I know that this time next year the kid will be almost 18 and heading off to college-which will also likely necessitate long drives. But by then he will have another year of driving experience behind him.
For now though, I would rather have an adult make that drive with him.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Jun 27, 2015 14:23:21 GMT
They're too young, I don't trust that they wouldn't get in some kind of trouble, they look like they're 23, take your pick. Plus, this would be a first and it's too big a leap for a first like that. I agree. Too much too soon. Three hrs is a long way to drive. Are they spending the night there? The whole thing is a no-no in my book. Going to a concert close to home, no problem.
|
|
scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
|
Post by scrappinghappy on Jun 27, 2015 14:46:13 GMT
I'd compromise. I'd do the driving, drop them off, pick them up. Or at least be in the back seat if dd drove
|
|
|
Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Jun 27, 2015 15:01:32 GMT
I would feel uncomfortable w/2 fairly new drivers, only 17 going 3 hours away for a concert. Any chance, you want a night away from home? You could rent a hotel room and make a girls weekend out, taking them to the concert and then going shopping or just relaxing at the hotel until pick up time. Do a mini-road trip and have fun. It scares me to send 2 teens out like that, but I'm also overprotective. This is exactly what I would do. Drive them there, then let them have their freedom once you get there. If they get into any kind of trouble, you're in the same city, not 3 hours away. I totally agree! If she balks explain the teen driving laws/consequences. I also think at this point, I would get a hotel room and go with Crapmaven's idea. I also found the PDX area to be confusing as well, when I was in the area in May.
|
|
|
Post by birdy on Jun 27, 2015 15:57:02 GMT
I would feel uncomfortable w/2 fairly new drivers, only 17 going 3 hours away for a concert. Any chance, you want a night away from home? You could rent a hotel room and make a girls weekend out, taking them to the concert and then going shopping or just relaxing at the hotel until pick up time. Do a mini-road trip and have fun. It scares me to send 2 teens out like that, but I'm also overprotective. This is a great suggestion!!!
|
|
Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
|
Post by Judy26 on Jun 27, 2015 16:42:21 GMT
Would not be happening at my house. I would definitely take them though and find a great place to hangout or get a hotel.mthat sounds like a great bonding trip. My DD is 22 and working 9 hours from home. When she is on the road I still check in with her every couple of hours. I know she is a safe driver but it's everyone else on the busy roads that cause me grey hair and anxiety!
|
|
luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
|
Post by luvnlifelady on Jun 27, 2015 17:31:58 GMT
My DD is 18 and has been driving for 2 years. I wouldn't even want her doing the 3 hour drive after a concert. She did go to one in San Diego with friends (she drove) but it was only about an hour home afterwards.
I wouldn't let her drive to prom (about an hour away) with a teen driver with a carload of other teens. DH drove her (I know, not the cool factor) and she seemed ok about it. 2 friends went with them on the way down and 1 on the way back (the other girl chose to drive back up with the carload of teens).
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 27, 2015 21:33:03 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Jun 27, 2015 21:47:09 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom. As someone who had a mom that would agree with the majority of you saying no, I have to agree with likescarrots. You're holding your kids back with your attitudes. You need to learn to let go.
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Jun 28, 2015 1:17:31 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom. Wow. I didn't drive 6 hours to go snowboarding, I absolutely would have asked permission to drive 3 hours to and from a concert, and if I posed the same situation as the OP my mom would have either driven with us/for us and I don't think I am a worthless adult. My kids didn't have that kind of freedom at 17 and they are not worthless adults either.
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 28, 2015 2:18:56 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom. Wow. I didn't drive 6 hours to go snowboarding, I absolutely would have asked permission to drive 3 hours to and from a concert, and if I posed the same situation as the OP my mom would have either driven with us/for us and I don't think I am a worthless adult. My kids didn't have that kind of freedom at 17 and they are not worthless adults either. I mean, I hardly think you would be the best judge of that...
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jun 28, 2015 2:30:09 GMT
Another possibility would be to drive to a hotel within walking distance of the venue, park there, and walk to and from the concert. Personally, even as an adult who has been driving for decades, I find it pretty stressful and difficult getting out of a parking lot after a concert, and nearly impossible to drive distances afterwards.
My my friends and I did a trip to Disneyland when we were 17/18, which was a six-hour drive in each direction. We did stay with an older sibling who was in grad school in LA, which I am sure helped put our parents' minds at ease.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jun 28, 2015 4:16:22 GMT
When I was 17, my best friend and I drove 4 hours away from home to visit friends from camp. We stayed in a hotel for the weekend. (I wish I knew how we got that.) We had a great time. My parents trusted me. My friend and I had boys in the room, but we all behaved. If you have a gut feeling that you shouldn't put her in that situation or if it is illegal to drive that late, I would find an alternate plan, but otherwise, I would let her go. Trust builds independence.
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Jun 28, 2015 16:12:42 GMT
Wow. I didn't drive 6 hours to go snowboarding, I absolutely would have asked permission to drive 3 hours to and from a concert, and if I posed the same situation as the OP my mom would have either driven with us/for us and I don't think I am a worthless adult. My kids didn't have that kind of freedom at 17 and they are not worthless adults either. I mean, I hardly think you would be the best judge of that... *Deleted my initial response* NVM, I am not going to get sucked into an argument with some sanctimonious person on a message board about whether my children are worthless adults or not. I am pretty sure I am not a worthless adult either considering I am gainfully employed, independent and well liked and respected by the parents of the children I teach. My students are pretty fond of me as well. Go ahead and think what you want likescarrots. I don't need your validation.
|
|
oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
|
Post by oaksong on Jun 28, 2015 18:05:47 GMT
What is your major malfunction, likescarrots? Inquiring minds want to know.
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 28, 2015 21:58:25 GMT
What is your major malfunction, likescarrots? Inquiring minds want to know. Is this supposed to be witty?
|
|
|
Post by peasful1 on Jun 28, 2015 22:03:21 GMT
Is this a question? A PVM? What? Clearly you don't want them to go. So say no. Pretty simple.
|
|
huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,990
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
|
Post by huskergal on Jun 28, 2015 22:08:45 GMT
My dd and 2 friends drove to a live podcast event that was over 4 hours away. They were all 18. We let them go. It all went fine. It is difficult to let them go, but I look back at what I was doing when I was the same age. Stuff can happen 15 minutes from home. Teens need to learn to be independent.
|
|
oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
|
Post by oaksong on Jun 28, 2015 23:00:36 GMT
What is your major malfunction, likescarrots? Inquiring minds want to know. Is this supposed to be witty? Not really. I was trying to ask "why are you being mean" in a somewhat indirect way. Your responses seem a little harsh, given the topic at hand.
|
|
MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
|
Post by MizIndependent on Jun 28, 2015 23:22:02 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom. I just love the smell of broad-sweeping generalizations in the afternoon, lol!
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 29, 2015 15:30:16 GMT
Seriously, your kids are all going to be worthless adults. By 17 me and my friends were driving 6 hours to go snowboarding on the weekends. 3 hours and back to a concert wasn't even something I asked my parents permission to do. If the curfew thing is really an issue, why don't they stay at a hotel and come home the next day. This is the exact reason the daughter moving to hawaii didn't tell her mom. I just love the smell of broad, sweeping generalizations in the afternoon, lol! Isn't that exactly what you did to your daughter?
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on Jun 29, 2015 15:35:42 GMT
The driving would be more of an issue for me than the concert. My oldest will be 17 when he goes off to university - if he's old enough to live on his own, I figure he's old enough to go to a concert.
|
|
MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
|
Post by MizIndependent on Jun 29, 2015 16:45:15 GMT
I just love the smell of broad-sweeping generalizations in the afternoon, lol! Isn't that exactly what you did to your daughter? No. It is, in fact the exact opposite since I'm applying it only to my DD and her friend whom I know very, very well. You do understand what a broad-sweeping generalization is, don't you? 'Cause you just making that statement proves pretty clearly that you don't.
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 29, 2015 18:04:12 GMT
Isn't that exactly what you did to your daughter? No. It is, in fact the exact opposite since I'm applying it only to my DD and her friend whom I know very, very well. You do understand what a broad-sweeping generalization is, don't you? 'Cause you just making that statement proves pretty clearly that you don't. Your first response to "why shouldn't they" was "they're too young." Not to mention. . (Ok, I'm going to mention it), it's disgusting of you to base your decisions about what your almost an adult daughter can and can't do on her physical appearance.
|
|
MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
|
Post by MizIndependent on Jun 29, 2015 18:14:29 GMT
No. It is, in fact the exact opposite since I'm applying it only to my DD and her friend whom I know very, very well. You do understand what a broad-sweeping generalization is, don't you? 'Cause you just making that statement proves pretty clearly that you don't. Your first response to "why shouldn't they" was "they're too young." Not to mention. . (Ok, I'm going to mention it), it's disgusting of you to base your decisions about what your almost an adult daughter can and can't do on her physical appearance. I'm pretty sure that you are the only person posting on this thread who has made that assumption. BTW, you're not very good at twisting someone's posts, you know that?
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Jun 29, 2015 18:23:43 GMT
Your first response to "why shouldn't they" was "they're too young." Not to mention. . (Ok, I'm going to mention it), it's disgusting of you to base your decisions about what your almost an adult daughter can and can't do on her physical appearance. I'm pretty sure that you are the only person posting on this thread who has made that assumption. BTW, you're not very good at twisting someone's posts, you know that? If I'm twisting your post, please explain exactly what you meant by "they look like they're 23", and how that could possibly have anything to do with your decision to let your daughter go to a concert?
|
|
|
Post by RiverIsis on Jun 29, 2015 18:27:44 GMT
Here another opinion - how much driving does your daughter actually normally do? When my kids got their license they pretty much were designated drivers whether we were drinking or not, then they got a boatload of experience (within the curfew laws)with us in the car and we could make a good assessment of how mature they were and how able to handle different driving experiences. Mine drove 3 hours to concerts etc., not just the school runs (actually we didn't bother with those as we lived too close to school). One did most of the drive between KY and NY (PA doesn't recognize permits from other states) and back.
I still get nervous when I know they are on the road.
Now the other issue is how mature is your daughter? How aware of her surroundings etc? Concerts are generally cool places but any weirdo can buy a ticket or hang out outside etc.
It might be a bit clingy, but it isn't like any of us get a second chance at life if something tragic happens, but I would go along and hang out either at the concert or a meeting point. I go to concerts all the time with my kids. One likes the barrier and being in the pit, the other hangs out with me at the sound desk.
Oh and there are "stalker" aps for your phone if/when she does go on that first roadtrip. It has helped me not to worry too much because I could check on their progress without distracting my kids with phonecalls and texts.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 13:01:04 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2015 18:28:09 GMT
I'd make an overnight of it, drive them there, let them go to the concert alone, enjoy a fun night on the time myself, and then we'd all drive back after breakfast the next day. Actually, I'd likely let them do that on their own. My BFF and I did some overnights in Seattle when we were 17.
We have too many narrow, windy highways around here with too much wildlife for me to be comfortable for young drivers going that far that late.
|
|
MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
|
Post by MizIndependent on Jun 29, 2015 18:30:40 GMT
If I'm twisting your post, please explain exactly what you meant by "they look like they're 23", and how that could possibly have anything to do with your decision to let your daughter go to a concert? We were posting at the same time. I moved it here to answer you directly: ETA: I thought a visual might be helpful. This is my very beautiful youngest DD, she is a stunning 6'1". This photo was taken last year...when she was FIFTEEN.
|
|