Sick of being mature and understanding...

Have a glass of wine and some chocolate.

I feel your pain. I have a friend just like that. Although she has no anxiety issues. She's just inconsiderate. I thought it was HILARIOUS when she had a Partylite party and had about 10 friends reply that they would come, and then they didn't. And she was so upset and offended. So it's okay for HER to do it to her friends, but not the other way around. I love her, I put up with it. She's also one of those that doesn't like to be told what's wrong with her.

You teach people how to treat you. Sorry, she flakes on you - too many disappointments.

I'd quit inviting her. It isn't being immature.

Just don't expect your friend to join you. 


Sorry, I couldn't resist it. I do sympathise, I had a friend like this and it is infuriating, hurtful and depressing when they do this. My friend used to be full of enthusiasm for outings, dinner, concerts etc, and then she would just casually pull out. I even gave her one of three tickets I had to my university graduation, and she flaked on that on the same morning. 

I am a person that has anxiety. On any given day at any given time that anxiety and rip me a new one. It can chew me up and spit me out. I don't have to do anything or think of any thing to have it happen. It just does. I would go to your friends house and pick her up. be understanding. It isn't fun being the one with the anxiety problems. It isn't always easy for us. We are over it to. but unlike you we just can't be over it. we have to live with it.

It is always easier for me to do stuff if I have a person to go with that means leave my house with. get in the car with. drive to the place with. maybe you need to be the one that goes to her with the wine and chocolate.


I am not trying to sound like a bitch but I know how she feels. It is not easy living with this. and we know that it isn't easy for friends and family to live with us living with this. 


 

Sorry then I am not sure what to tell you there. I know how hard it is for me at times. I think she might be using it as an excuse.

I just don't make plans anymore. I used to make a bunch of plans and then back out. It definitely has to do with anxiety, so now I just tell everyone I'm busy.

She needs to learn not to make plans. Lol. Seriously, I stopped making plans a few years ago. I have a physical illness and had to cancel too many times. My friends were always sympathetic but I'm sure they got plenty frustrated too. I mean, I was the sick one and it frustrated and upset me so I can understand them being upset even if they never showed it to me.
Anxiety is an illness just as much as my migraines are, so I get it, but life will be easier on her if she doesn't set herself or friends up for disappointment. These days I rarely commit to anything in advance because I just never know how I'll feel 'next Teusday at one o'clock'.
I have beautiful supportive friends who come visit me and who'll give me a call the day of something to see if I'm up for it. I'm able to enjoy some activities this way.
It stinks, but that's life.

At a certain point, anyone who is not a masochist will be done with someone reneging on plans. Especially if that costs money, time and or lost opportunities. There really is a limit. Why is her anxiety issue more important than anything else and if she can't help it, she can help making p l ans.

Wow, I have a friend exactly like that too! She asks me if I want to do something, but then has no idea what she wants to do, and flakes 10 minutes before we are to meet. Finally I backed off, and we haven't seen or talked to each other in two years. It's a shame because we've been friends since third grade.

I am sorry you are feeling bad. I started to have have anxiety issues for the last year or so. I never had them in my whole life. (58 yrs). Different day are different. I feel so scared & panicked. afraid of everything.. when I go in the car..(for no reason)at home too. It turns out I was diagnosed with huntingtons disease 2 weeks ago. that is one of the symptoms. My best scrap friend knows that I may have to cancel. She has medical issues too so she has had to cancel lots of times over the years. we were always very sad though but we both understood. I always told her I would never be angry at her for having to cancel for medical issues even if I was sad we had to cancel. She would never be mad at me for having to cancel for medical issue which Anxiety is. That would not be fair of me to be angry for her to be sick She would not be angry at me for it either anxiety is horrible on some days for me. it is an illness like any other disease.. I totally understand you feeling sad about her cancelling all the time. (((((((HUGS)))))) I can't tell you which day it will be there so she probably can't either.

I had to give up on friends like that. It's just too frustrating and annoying to be at the mercy of flakers. Yes, anxiety is real but sometimes (in my experience, most of the time) it's used as an excuse. And I just had to pull away because it was all about them and they couldn't be counted on. I'd had enough. We had fun until the excuses started to fly. Now we're acquaintances at best.

Stop making plans with her unless at least one (or more) mutual friends are included, that way if she chooses to back out, you carry on without her. I would be frank with her about it too. You seem be be understanding about her anxiety issues but this friendship is increasing your anxiety and not healthy for you.