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Post by penny on Jul 19, 2015 18:36:22 GMT
As someone who has anxiety - I'm that friend... I can't speak for everyone who has anxiety, but from my experiences and people I know who have it, we know we can really suck at the keeping plans thing... We stress about if we will actually show up, if we'll get there, or be a frazzled mess when we do get there... What will happen if we show too early or too late... So only as an explanation, she likely feels a lot of pressure - and does truly want to, meet up with you... The more often she doesn't make it, the more pressure she feels the next time and the harder it becomes... The best way I've had friends handle it, is for them to tell me they're noticing I'm having a hard time and not keeping plans... It's weird, but I can't say it - I do, but it doesn't have the same effect... It's almost as if when they say it, it breaks the building pressure and I can make a fresh start... I appreciate my friends that have said that I'm welcome to join them, or that they're making plans without me but that I can stop by... It's not always practical - some things need confirmed attendance... But for things that don't, make your own plans, on your own schedule, and with other friends, and mention she can tag along if she shows up... Let her know it bothers you, and look after yourself... It's impossible to compensate for anyone's anxiety so make decisions that work for you... She'll understand
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Post by penny on Jul 19, 2015 18:42:51 GMT
ETA - anxiety isn't any excuse for rudeness... If she no-shows on a paid event, she should repay you (without being asked), and she should be letting you know if she's not going to be there, etc... My experience, but my anxiety makes me hyper aware of details like that...
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,402
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Jul 19, 2015 18:50:22 GMT
I'm one of those people that even quit making plans because I never know on any given day how I'll feel. I'll even be all ready and walking out the door and not be able to. I know it's my fault, but it still can't fix it. Friends were great when I was 100%, but now that I'm not! they view me as worthless and wrote me off. That hurts.
Rudeness shouldn't be accepted regardless. Did you ask to be reimbursed?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 12:39:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 19:51:13 GMT
I broke up with a friend because she always cancelled everything, too. She was always too stoned, mad at her mother, had to bail her crazy sister out of jail, oh the drama.
It's ok to end friendships if you are always being let down. It isn't really a friendship is it?
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