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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2015 20:22:45 GMT
We aren't ment to be happy every moment. Life is made up of mountains and valleys.
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Post by Dictionary on Aug 10, 2015 20:24:16 GMT
I think my life is pretty damn happy but with unhappy or drama filled moments..I guess life really is ying and yang..you can only have happiness for so long then it needs some unhappy balance. I hate those days/moments. Sometimes life can be brutally hard and just thankful everyday the sun is shining and everything seems good and at peace. Dealing with the drama in life is stressful so I just try to breathe and deal with it as it comes. I know eventually things will get better and they usually do so just have to hold on during those bumpy periods.
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lesley
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My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
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Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Aug 10, 2015 20:49:00 GMT
I used to be pretty content, despite there being some difficult stuff in my life. I would say I'm a positive person, and I am able to compartmentalise, which helps with day-to-day stuff. But ever since my DD first became mentally ill back in 2010, I have had trauma after trauma, heartbreak after heartbreak. I wholeheartedly agree with the philosophy that it is not how heavy the load is, but how long you have to carry it. Five years of being hammered with one thing after another takes its toll.
There are many days when getting out of bed is difficult, dealing with people and officialdom seems impossible, and I just want to leave it all for good.
That being said, I still find things to make me smile and laugh. My dog is a tonic, my son makes me laugh every single day. I'm about to move into my childhood home, which is a third of the size of my current one, but I'll own it outright, and my best friend lives across the road. I'm trying to spin it as a positive move, and not a backwards one.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 10, 2015 20:54:18 GMT
Without the downs in life, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the ups. It isn't realistic to be happy 100% of the time, but to can also feel sadness without suffering from depression.
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Post by tarheelgurl on Aug 10, 2015 21:50:46 GMT
I would describe my life as very happy and full of joy. I have peace and contentment. Who could ask for more?
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momto4kiddos
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 10, 2015 22:17:52 GMT
Such an interesting thing to think about... I have what i'd consider a happy life, but that doesn't mean i'm happy all the time. There are days i'm very grateful for what I have and go about my business...and then there are days that are stressful and difficult.
I know there has been a discussion before about choosing happiness (could be as far back as the original 2peas.) Anyhow I feel like most days I choose to try to look at the bright side. I have things that get me down (have had some difficult marital issues), but I do my best to be happy. I feel like a glass half full person.
It's funny to think about how you're "supposed" to feel. And trust me sometimes I wonder myself even though I generally feel my outlook is ok.
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amom23
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Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Aug 10, 2015 22:24:47 GMT
I have a happy life with lots of happy moments sprinkled on top. Now that doesn't mean I have a perfect life, but I usually chose to see the glass as half full.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 10, 2015 22:49:19 GMT
I have happy moments and contented days if that makes sense. Happy is an elevated feeling that I don't think is possible to maintain, and probably shouldn't be honestly because if we are always happy we lose those moments of varying stages of euphoria. Does that make sense? ... But when I'm content I have an interest in one or more of my hobbies, look forward to interaction with family, friends, coworkers. I think this sums it up pretty well. I am content most of the time with genuinely happy moments sprinkled in here and there. Life is good. Sad moments generally don't last long because I don't allow myself to dwell on them. There was a long stretch of my life when I was younger when I was seeing the glass as half empty a lot of the time. One day I woke up and decided, "Enough! I'm SICK of feeling this way!" That day I started actively seeking out the silver linings and the blessings in my life. I decided I could either spend my time focusing on what was going wrong, or I could spend my time focusing on what was going right so I chose the latter. Every night for a good while, I would write down all the good things that happened that day in a notebook, effectively counting my blessings if you will. Amazingly enough, when I changed my own attitude things suddenly started looking up, going smoother, life just seemed better. Nothing about my overall situation was really different except I was looking for the good parts instead of dwelling on the bad parts. These days I have many more things to be thankful for, and I *AM* thankful for them. I try to live a life of gratitude each and every day. When something unfortunate happens, I do look for the silver lining and try to find something good that has come out of it. When something great happens, it's a reminder of how blessed I am and I try to never forget that.
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Post by quinlove on Aug 10, 2015 23:03:03 GMT
IMHO a happy life and a good life are not necessarily the same thing. You can have all the money in the world, but that alone does not make for a happy life if you do not have the right attitude. I feel being a happy person per se means you have a happy/pleasant personality. We all know people who seem like they have a good life with all the trimmings, but they certainly don't act like they are happy. I used to always say that being happy was a choice but I now feel that it has more to do with your basic personality. Like a half full or half empty glass attitude. Of course I am not talking about depression or other life-altering issues.
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Post by k8smom on Aug 10, 2015 23:38:04 GMT
Both...in general, I am a happy person. I have a quick temper but I generally don't hold grudges and am usually quick to forgive, and that helps me to let go of negativity I think. This is me, too. Once I process through things, I'm over it and actually forget about it. The older I get, the less I worry. Seems things have a way of working out on their own, so why bother? Hugs to you and you dd, OP.
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Post by SunnySmile on Aug 11, 2015 0:22:28 GMT
I also suffer from depression and anxiety which I take meds for. Without them, I only think of myself and how I feel, and how I want others to improve. At one point I convinced myself my dh was a jerk and didn't love me at all. I had suicidal thoughts because I felt my family would be better off without me and my grumpiness. Meds have made a huge difference. I consider myself a generally happy person though. I am content as I can be, taking my health issues into consideration. My mom always tells me I have a sunny disposition. It's amazing how far away from that I felt without being treated. So I would say, content with happy moments and sad moments. I don't think we can be happy all the time...we need the opposite in order to appreciate what happiness feels like.
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Post by redayh on Aug 11, 2015 0:26:13 GMT
Moments
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Post by cyndijane on Aug 11, 2015 0:40:10 GMT
Well I think you can either be feeling anxious and down about something or feeling anxious and down about nothing. Your daughter sounds like she falls into the latter category, which is often a chemical thing. Medication helps a lot, for most people who try it. It changed my life from the chronic anxiety I'd felt since childhood to leading a happy life. I wish I'd heard that first line 20 years ago when my little sister first started dealing with depression! We always say she was crazy before crazy was cool. But, really, she wasn't. It took years for them to figure out she just has a chronic chemical imbalance. Therapists pushed for years to figure out "what happened to her", but nothing did. She just started dealing with this darkness when she was about 11, and it just kept getting worse. OP, your daughter sounds like my sister. Her life has many happy moments, but overall she wouldn't say she has a happy life. And sometimes, her life as a mom of 4 kids is overwhelming to her. I remember talking with her after her first two were born, (and after they'd figured out she needed medication all the time) helping her see the difference between her "darkness" she was so afraid of falling back into and normal SAHM of very active preschoolers. I'd keep saying, M, that's completely normal. All moms feel that- it's going to be okay. It's been a difficult road, but she's finally completely done with babies & the accompanying hormones and she's settling into a routine where she has more good days than bad ones.
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caro
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Post by caro on Aug 11, 2015 0:50:27 GMT
This is a thought provoking question. I would say I have happy moments with some contentment on the side. I have a good bit of stress in my life taking care of two elderly parents. The last 15 years have been stressful in so many ways but I do feel like I am recovering from the stress. If I look at several of my friends' lives and compare my life to what I think theirs is like.......well, it seems dismal and probably my life looks that way to them.
I have s strong faith in God, a happy marriage, productive adult children and 7 wonderful grandchildren and when I think on this then my life seems pretty darn good.
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Post by cindytred on Aug 11, 2015 1:07:27 GMT
I can know I'm happy without feeling it... That's probably 90% of the time... The rest of the time I know I'm happy and I feel happiness... The moments when I can feel my feelings (feeling numb is part of my depression and staying removed is part of my PTSD), are wonderful... So while I can only feel happiness every once in a while, I know that I am happy... penny: You described how I feel - I've never been able to put into words myself. I feel numb most of the time. I also feel removed from life - like I'm watching a tv show and really not participating in it. I also often get like the Pea who said they get to where they don't care anymore - and know that I don't care. I pretty much give up. Cindy
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Post by fiddlesticks on Aug 11, 2015 1:10:55 GMT
I am happy with my life. There are some work things that I wish would be different but that's just work. But I am happy.
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scrapaddie
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Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 11, 2015 1:14:40 GMT
I have a very happy life. I have no commitments and no responsibilities. I'm not responsible for any living thing except myself I only have to do what pleases me. I have close family and lots of friends and can do things at the drop of a hat. It's a very nice position to be in. Are there things I wish were different in my life? You bet but I'm thankful for what I have today. I can't dwell on what can never be. I do get lonely at times but by and large I'm very content. Someone dear to me deals with depression I know how hard it can be. I'm always thankful that I never got dealt that hand. Hugs! Did I write this??!! I am generally happy, or at least content with really happy moments. Rarely I unhappy for no defined reason
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 11, 2015 1:28:16 GMT
I have a happy life sprinkled with some unhappy moments. I do believe I am wired to be happy for the most part. I tend to be very optimistic and to look on the bright side whenever possible.
I do have the occasional troubles, illnesses, deaths, divorce or other negative things happen as do we all. But I tend to pull myself up by my bootstraps and find my equilibrium quickly when they do. I look for that silver lining, I suppose. And I have always actively sought to teach my boys to do that. I call it "resilience." Bad things WILL happen... it's what you do with them that matters. I believe in finding my center, righting myself, and moving forward again. Not getting stuck in that place.
I'm glad your daughter talked to you. Seeing the counselor will be a good and positive step. And hopefully the medication will give her that jump-start to find her equilibrium and make sense of what she's feeling.
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Nanner
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Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Aug 11, 2015 1:30:58 GMT
I would say that I generally have a happy life. It wasn't always like that, but I am there now, and am grateful for that.
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Post by myboysnme on Aug 11, 2015 1:48:24 GMT
I think I have happy moments, but my son answered this with 'a happy life with sad moments.' He has anxiety disorder and bouts of depression so I thought this was an interesting answer.
Overall I have a happy life but I don't live it that way. I live it as though it is not happy except for some moments.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 11, 2015 2:09:57 GMT
I would say both.
yes I get stressed out and worry about what to make for dinner and if I screwed up at work, but in general I am very happy and have tons of happy moments. I really love life in general.
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Post by lancermom on Aug 11, 2015 2:43:43 GMT
Like others said, content yes. I just go about life. I love my kids, husband and dog! There are things I would be happy to change. But I feel blessed to have the life I do. I do my best to keep positive people near, negative far. This helps me stay more positive. therefore the happier moments are more often than the unhappy.
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Post by PEArfect on Aug 11, 2015 4:42:21 GMT
I had a happy life. Now I just have a lot of happy moments. My daughters bless me with those moments. I'm not sure I'll ever be as happy as I was before my husband and mom died. A part of me died with both of them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 7:06:27 GMT
We have a happy life, peppered with unhappy moments. I believe it's how you view it. We have a home, our health, good friends, good jobs, our kids & family. We spend time together, go out and enjoy our home. Am I walking around with a grin from the time my feet hit the ground till I go to bed...no. But on the same token I don't walk around sad all day. I feel for those that do and wish for their happiness. To answer the question, yes I have a happy life and the unhappy moments are what make it a life.
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Post by polz on Aug 11, 2015 8:53:41 GMT
Until recently I would have told you my life was very happy. I guess you don't know what you don't know, so I'm going to go with moments.
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Post by heartcat on Aug 11, 2015 9:51:55 GMT
I have a pretty happy life. I have simple wants and needs, good people to love and be loved by, a naturally optimistic and grateful personality and have been fortunate not to have to deal with any tragedies in life, depression, etc.
I take great pleasure from and feel lucky for very simple things; coffee in the morning, a hot shower, birds in my garden, etc. I am not one who ever seems to feel bored. I don't get stressed about things (though I don't have much to be stressed about). I am not a worrier. I am not a perfectionist. I don't put pressure on myself.
I enjoy my life and I like who I am. I appreciate all that I have, and don't worry about what I don't have. Little things make me inordinately happy. I really don't have any 'low' periods. It's not that I have a 'perfect' life by society's standards, nor is it anything that I make a concerted effort to do, it's just my personality (and the fact that I have not had to deal with any major set backs or stressful events).
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tuesdaysgone
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Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Aug 11, 2015 10:07:44 GMT
I have a mostly happy life, due in most part to an optimistic nature. However, I do understand (or try to) others who suffer with depression. My DH has had 10 years of serious medical issues and depression. We've been thru it together and although it has been a dark journey some days, it has made me much more empathetic to other's suffering. My biggest take away: it's not "in your head, just get over it," anxiety and depression are real.
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Post by cyndijane on Aug 11, 2015 12:40:47 GMT
Sometimes I think our current society puts too much stress on happiness. Almost like you're not okay/normal/acceptable if you're unhappy. Life is going to come at us- and much of what we don't choose is going to be tough, painful, or unpleasant, to say the least. And sometimes those unwanted moments take years for us to get to the other side. And that's okay.
I mentioned earlier my sister has battled depression for over 20 years, and truthfully, she's one of the strongest women I've ever met. I would imagine that she's like others- she's aware of when most of her happy moments occur, but she doesn't fully experience them- she's watching from the outside. And everyday, she gets up and lives life all over again. She cares for her DH and 4 children, she is the first one there when anyone she knows is dealing with difficult situations. She finds joy when and where she can, and has accepted that her life isn't like others (well, isn't like she believes others' lives to be). Most days, I believe she's finding contentment.
My DH has a melancholy temperment. I'm joy, he's just not. I see the cup as refillable- who cares if it's half full/empty, he's wondering what we'll do if the cup breaks. LOL. And we've learned to live with each other's natural inclinations. I've found in the last 15 years that while he's not fond of change, and he doesn't expect rainbows around the corner, he's steady and loyal. He's patient and accepting. He's a great listener. He's content with life, and has moments of happiness. I've learned that some of the things I love most about him wouldn't be there if he were a more driven person.
But these two people in my inner circle have shown me over and over that "happiness" isn't the only way to live. In fact, if they didn't have an alternative, they might believe their lives weren't worth living. Do I want either of them to be miserable? Of course not! But as I'm watching them live their lives, I realize that when they struggle most is when they feel they have to carry the burden of a life of happiness.
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Sarah*H
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Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Aug 11, 2015 12:56:52 GMT
I think like anxiousmom said earlier, personality has a lot to do with it. My general nature is to be happy and I would describe my life as happy. In the last 4 years we've weathered some really awful storms but even through the terror and the heartbreak and frustration, my baseline of happiness didn't change. In contrast, I think my husband is someone whose general nature is to look for and expect the worst and though he has plenty of moments of happiness, it's not fundamentally part of his nature. We're good counterweights for each other that way!
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Post by M~ on Aug 11, 2015 13:36:00 GMT
Hmmmmm...I think I have happy moments. I deal with A LOT of unresolved family conflicts. I've resolved them FOR ME (for the most part), but other people around me continue to bicker over the same bullshit. My life has been filled with obligation ever since I can remember. I'm not making myself into a victim at all, it's just the way it is. I feel I don't know "how to have fun." I don't even know what that means, really. At this point, I'm just programmed to go from one project (whether it's in my personal life or whether it's professional) to the next. I see people here planning trips, "fun outings," or just STUFF. I've never done that-before it was because I didn't have enough money, now it's because my personal life is scheduled out indefinitely-and going away on a trip for more than a weekend is not possible. Honestly, outside of work, I don't really see anyone. I come home, go exercise if it's not my night to take care of my grandmother, and go back to work. My boss WANTS me and STRONGLY ENCOURAGES me to TAKE TIME OFF, M!. She wants me to "go somewhere," and "do something fun." I'm embarrassed to say that I don't know how to do that-I can't even admit that to her. I mean, I laugh all the time with my friends, but it's not as if it's planned around an event, if that makes sense. I take a random day off here and there to appease her. Sorry, I'm rambling. EXHALE. So, would I say I lead a happy life? I dunno. Maybe. There are hills and valley. There are moments, sure. But honestly at this point-happiness is not what I'm looking for. Maybe contentment. THEN we can work on happiness.
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