Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 12:35:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2015 12:03:18 GMT
It's horrible isn't it? Makes me shudder. I didn't realise that people held on to ashes or made them in to jewellery I find that a bit macabre. The husband swears blind that he's going to have me frozen
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on Aug 12, 2015 12:17:45 GMT
In the UK it's not a usual thing to keep ashes in urns at home, the ashes are either scattered or buried. It's been a very long time since it was the custom here to keep ashes and have jewellery etc., made from them.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 12, 2015 13:00:31 GMT
My grandmother was cremated and we spread her ashes on my grandfather's grave. My dad was cremated and we buried his ashes in ND's veterans cemetery. My mom's ashes will be buried next to him. When DH died we mixed his ashes with a huge bag of wildflower seeds and spread them on a Missouri River bank he particularly loved about 75 miles from here. When I die my ashes will be spread on the same riverbank. I'm all for cremation but would never dream of keeping ashes in an urn. akathy-that is a lovely way to spread the ashes of a loved one! I don't think that I have it written down any where, but have said often enough what I want that the boys laugh, roll their eyes and say "i know mom!" I want to be cremated, I want a big party with lots of fun music on a boat and I want my ashes scattered in the ocean in a particular spot. I tell the boys that I will be part of the ecosystem of the Everglades and every time they go fishing they will be visiting me. I want it to be a happy, joyful celebration of my life, not a sad moment and who can be sad with Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffet playing in the background??
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,112
Jun 26, 2014 3:41:19 GMT
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Post by camcas on Aug 12, 2015 13:09:04 GMT
I reckon I've read somewhere about a place that will turn cremated remains into gemstones. Probably $$$$ but kinda neat..!!
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Post by guzismom on Aug 12, 2015 14:32:01 GMT
I hate the word 'cremains', it's an awful portmanteau. What's wrong with just saying ashes?! Me too..."remains" serves the same purpose. They ARE your remains; just in ash form.
I will have my remains dealt with in keeping with the Roman Catholic Churches teachings; therefore, my remains will be interred within a Catholic cemetery.
My kids will only have to deal with the (currently) 70+ scrapbooks!
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Aug 12, 2015 14:53:39 GMT
I prefer to be cremated, but I'm fine with whoever just dumping them, the trash is fine. Or maybe the compost? My husband also wants to be cremated, and if he dies first i will probably take his ashes somewhere he loves, like the ocean. Or maybe i will make him into a gem stone . Or a new coral habitat . Eta:the term cremains reminds me of craisins which grosses me out a little bit.
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Post by scrapcat on Aug 12, 2015 15:33:57 GMT
I don't know many ppl who keep the cremains? Is it a regional thing? Anyone I know who has kept them it has been a child, so the parent wants it buried/scattered with them when they pass or a spouse. Everyone else I know that's been cremated (like parents and grandparents) has been scattered.
I am not as freaked out about ashes hanging around on shelves as seeing floating caskets when storms uproot cemeteries. That sealed the deal for me on cremation.
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Post by ilikepink on Aug 12, 2015 17:07:26 GMT
Timely topic. On Monday, I was in Arlington National Cemetery for services for my dad. He's now in a columbarium there, and after waiting since April, he can be at peace. I find comfort in going to the cemetery where my mother and grandparents are buried in NJ, and would like for my boys to have a "spot" like that. I've told them, at this moment in time, to cremate me and spread the ashes in that cemetery, some in my favorite place in the world (Cape May, NJ) and some here in Savannah where it's become home. That may change, but for now.... Then they have to deal with all the scrapbooks!!!
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Aug 12, 2015 21:53:54 GMT
Not having a *spot* I could actually visit and bring flowers/burn the get well card that I never got to give my dad caused a lot of additional pain when I was in deep mourning.
My stepmom was going to invite family and Dad's closest friends for a day when we would go into the woods at the plantation where Dad and his brother had hunted and lived and where Dad's dog kennels were. When Dad's brother passed several years ago, my dad and cousin sprinkled his ashes in a favourite spot on the plantation. We were in such shock over Dad's death that my stepmom didn't want to spread the ashes immediately. The special place is not accessible by car, so it would have been weird to have everyone come to the service and lunch and then just invite a few people to go into the woods to scatter the ashes.
Then my mom sued my stepmom and vice versa, and they've been fighting over the estate for the past 4 years. I think everything's finally been settled, so I hope that my stepmom and I can scatter my dad's ashes soon. I'll finally have a place to go visit, and I'm going to burn the get well card that I've been keeping for this purpose.
(My dad and I shared a passion for aviation, and I found a really awesome pop up card that is a biplane towing a banner--where you write your note. I was the manager of my dad's aerial banner operation in the summers during college, and my dad surprised me by arranging for a congratulations banner to be flown over the church at the beach where we got married. It had been a long standing joke that I would probably have to assemble my own wedding banner because I did most of the work because my brother and the other employees were such slackers.)
I would really like to donate my body to science. I've been helped so much by modern medicine, and if doctors can learn more by studying my body, I'd like to help others. My dh doesn't like that idea at all. My bio grandmother died following a failed bone marrow transplant in the late 80s and donated her body to the medical school at the large university hospital in the midwest where she had gone for the transplant. I think the school encouraged patients like my grandmother, who had fought breast cancer for over a decade and had all sorts of treatments, so they could better study the course of the cancer, how the treatments affected her, etc. I've heard that fibromyalgia and MS researchers in the UK have requested that patients donate their spines--I think this can be done like organ and tissue donation, immediately after death and then buried or cremated like usual. My dad donated as many organs and tissues as possible, so a viewing wasn't allowed. That was hard for me because I never got to see him at peace. (in some cases the final days hooked to a ventilator isn't as peaceful as movies make it seem)
Dh wants a traditional burial for me and himself. There is room for dh and me at the family plot where my grandparents are buried, but my mom has been disagreeable--she holds the coloured diamond ring* that my dad bought her as an engagement present over my head to "control my behaviour" and has done the same with the family plot--even though my two aunts have generously given the spots to us if we choose it.
My MIL is very sick, and we hope that she will be here with us for quite a while--if the treatments make her better. I've broached the subject of Dh telling his mother that he's ok with her doing palliative care only because she doesn't have quality of life--a subject the two of us have discussed privately. I hate that she suffers so much--she can't breathe.
I don't know where they will be buried, but dh and I might decide to be buried with them. We'd like to move to SC to be closer to them. I can't do much, but I could spend a lot of time with MIL and be her companion/nurse. FIL is still very active and was doing a lot of mission work in Haiti before MIL got so ill he couldn't leave her. (He helps with radio stations and a seminary school in Haiti)
I love the idea of a natural eco burial, but there aren't many places that allow that, plus we already have the family plot. My dh and inlaws don't like cremation for religious reasons, but I'm much more liberal minded--dh has become much more liberal as well... of course FIL blames it all on me.
* My mom won't wear the ring, and some local "jeweler" told her it couldn't be made into a pendant. I want to take it to a custom jeweler and have it made into a pendant. The ring is comprised of two .50 carat matching non-irradiated canary diamonds, a cognac, and a very rare greenish blue diamond set together to form the shape of a diamond with two curved swags of white diamonds coming off the bottom of the diamond shape. My mom had the top of the ring bent so the diamond part would fit over her large gold wedding band--a lot of engagement rings are made so a band can fit under the stone.
We've been told that the green diamond could be worth up to $30k by itself, and when I was in Chicago, I wanted to take my mom to Graff to get it appraised, but she balked at the idea. I had suggested that if the stone was worth $30k, we could replace it with a cheaper stone since mom needed the money more and wasn't comfortable wearing such an expensive ring.
I was going to pay for the appraisal, and I've talked to custom jewelers and sketched the ring for them, and I've been told that it wouldn't be difficult or very expensive to put a bale on the back of the ring so it could be worn as a pendant. Then my mom would wear the ring this way, and I'd just inherit it. My mom refuses to wear the ring now, and I hate that the ring is just hidden away. I'm not going to push it, though.
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