smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,696
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Aug 20, 2015 17:16:05 GMT
I learned everything I needed to know from Judy Blume
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:16:09 GMT
My oldest son and I had an hour long conversation about oral sex when he was in seventh grade. It was an absolute out of body experience. I had aways told them they could ask me anything. They have, believe me. In the long run, I am glad they did ask me things. Their dad was more of a tab A goes in slot B kind of guy and he was done. So much more than that to discuss with boys who will need to understand girls. Sorry but I had to chuckle at the tab A goes into slot B comment. Yes, I think many men are very short and to the point if they say anything at all. My dh is a pretty sensitive, in touch with his feminine side kind of guy so I'm sure he'll be more detailed. He's an incurable romantic and I know he'll want to make sure that's passed on.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:18:32 GMT
My oldest son and I had an hour long conversation about oral sex when he was in seventh grade. It was an absolute out of body experience. I had aways told them they could ask me anything. They have, believe me. In the long run, I am glad they did ask me things. Their dad was more of a tab A goes in slot B kind of guy and he was done. So much more than that to discuss with boys who will need to understand girls. Way to go, Brandy! I am surprised the twins didn't share their knowledge with each other. Maybe one was bluffing. And Nancy.... an HOUR!? You deserve the mom of the year award for that! Honestly, I was really surprised they hadn't discussed it either!! They're together ALL the time and share pretty much everything. I'm wondering if DD that knew nothing will give DD that claims she does holy hell for not sharing info!!! LOL And I think DD that claimed to know it all just wanted me to not talk about it and thought that telling me she knew would keep me from doing it. LOL Little did she know!!!
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,750
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 20, 2015 17:19:22 GMT
Oh BOY!!! SO's daughter is going into 5th grade this year. Last year she had to start to wear bras. I think it is only a matter of time before she gets her period. We did sit down one day and discussed what was coming, but now that I am reading some of these posts, I think I need to be more open about it. I was always aware of it, when I got mine, I just grabbed what I needed and went about my business. My mom didn't know, I didn't tell anyone. She found out a couple of months later when I had an accident and she was doing laundry. I think she was a little hurt I didn't tell her. At that point, my sister had gotten hers a year earlier. It was no biggie to me. But now, I don't get one anymore, I had a hysterectomy long before I knew SO and daughter, so these things have never been in our house. And with her mom so far out of the picture, I do need to make sure she is ready. I will go look for that book. Sounds like a great place to start.
I have a son, I did not have to worry about this!!
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:20:49 GMT
I taught 2nd grade and had a girl who started her period over Christmas break - yes, in 2nd grade. I know we had several in 3rd grade, but this was the first one I had to deal with in 2nd. (she had never been held back). It's happening earlier and earlier... My BFF's dd was diagnosed with early onset puberty when she was 6 or 7 and had to get shots every 3 months to stop it. She's been doing the shots for 5 or 6 years and they did her last one at the end of the school year. BFF's DD is really good friends with my girls so they'll all start probably around the same time. Scary to think that a 2nd grader, hell even a 3rd grader, would have to deal with it!!!
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:23:58 GMT
There are a lot of good book resources that you may want to give them so they can learn the mechanics in depth, at their own pace, too. It actually is a good idea for the girls to be comfortable asking Dad any questions or just aware that he knows about this stuff. My dh isn't much of an answer guy on this subject, but the girls aren't particularly secretive about what time of the month it is, either. Both of them have actually fainted a couple of times each from bad cramps, and he's been there to help pick them up and deal with it (offer Aleve, get the hot pad going, etc). One dd had a horrifying Dexter-like episode in the back seat of the car during her first period, and he handled that quite well--and for dd, the cat was out of the bag. They're pretty relaxed with him without being overly detailed. If he asks what's wrong and they say 'cramps', no one blinks an eye. I agree! It definitely won't be a big secret around here and I want them to be comfortable enough with DH to talk to him if they need to. DH is good because he'll pick up supplies for me so I know he'll have no issues if he has to get the girls something. Your poor DDs though! How awful to actually faint from the cramps!! That's horrible!!
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:25:49 GMT
If you havent already please purchase a copy of "The Care and Keeping of You" from American Girl. That book was my bible between the ages of 9 and 12. I read that thing from cover to cover a hundred times. I bought it for them last year and one DD read the whole thing the day I gave it to her and the other one wouldn't touch it. LOL Now neither of them wants it. I imagine that might change though as they start experiencing some of the changes. The book is available to them for their reading pleasure.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
Enter your message here...
Posts: 4,046
Jul 13, 2014 21:23:27 GMT
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Post by Olan on Aug 20, 2015 17:26:21 GMT
Great job! My puberty talk was similar to your own
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:28:42 GMT
I like the book "Perfectly Normal"--good to put on the accessible bookshelf. also, I would put supplies (and clean underwear) in a plastic ziplock in their backpacks now...if they don't need it at school, a friend might. I also remind them that the office probably has supplies, as do most women under a certain age. good for you. no need to be a secret..just normal biology. I gave them each a pad and showed them how most backpacks and purses have a little zippered pocket just for these things. I did tell them that the nurse has supplies if they should find themselves without something. I also told them that while they may get cramps and they're not always pleasant, it's never an excuse to get out of going to school. And how being moody and having your period is NEVER reason enough to be disrespectful to anyone and if someone uses that as an excuse, it's just that..an excuse. And it's not tolerated around here.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Aug 20, 2015 17:31:05 GMT
Ah, the dreaded talk! Mine is a 5th grader too, so we've been talking about it too. I bought the "All About Me" books by American Girl and we really liked those. We read them together and then talked a lot about what we read. I've actually let a couple of her friends who are the same age borrow the books because they are so helpful!
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:36:55 GMT
I was very open with my dd about it, so when she got her period she wasn't shocked. She was in the not showering phase when she started, so I had to have a frank discussion with her about hygiene. It went something like this: If you don't shower while on your period you will start to smell like a dead animal. I was desperate to get her to shower regularly. Well, that night she had a dream that I came into her room, flung open the door, and said "OMG, IT SMELLS LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL IN HERE!" Pretty sure she now needs therapy... OMG, that's hilarious!!!
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Post by bearmom on Aug 20, 2015 17:40:28 GMT
There are a lot of good book resources that you may want to give them so they can learn the mechanics in depth, at their own pace, too. It actually is a good idea for the girls to be comfortable asking Dad any questions or just aware that he knows about this stuff. My dh isn't much of an answer guy on this subject, but the girls aren't particularly secretive about what time of the month it is, either. Both of them have actually fainted a couple of times each from bad cramps, and he's been there to help pick them up and deal with it (offer Aleve, get the hot pad going, etc). One dd had a horrifying Dexter-like episode in the back seat of the car during her first period, and he handled that quite well--and for dd, the cat was out of the bag. They're pretty relaxed with him without being overly detailed. If he asks what's wrong and they say 'cramps', no one blinks an eye. My dh is so comfortable with it, never batted an eye, but dds are so embarrassed in front of him. They tell me they need to go shopping for "things" if dh is in earshot. He has tried to talk to them and make them more comfortable to no avail. Maybe they need a Dexter experience with him...........
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krispea
Shy Member
Posts: 27
Jul 4, 2015 23:50:01 GMT
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Post by krispea on Aug 20, 2015 17:45:52 GMT
One of the best books I thought for this age was the care and keeping of you, from American girls. It talk about body odor and diet and taking care of you. I read it with all 3 of my girls and answered questions. I had little bags with pads for them to keep in their lockers. However my middle daughter was last to start and actually started at school her first week of freshman year. And she didn't have anything with her. Thank goodness for a friend that lived close to the school. it was all good.
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krispea
Shy Member
Posts: 27
Jul 4, 2015 23:50:01 GMT
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Post by krispea on Aug 20, 2015 17:51:00 GMT
I was very open with my dd about it, so when she got her period she wasn't shocked. She was in the not showering phase when she started, so I had to have a frank discussion with her about hygiene. It went something like this: If you don't shower while on your period you will start to smell like a dead animal. I was desperate to get her to shower regularly. Well, that night she had a dream that I came into her room, flung open the door, and said "OMG, IT SMELLS LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL IN HERE!" Pretty sure she now needs therapy... Omg I am over laughing so hard, and it hurts cause I have a pulled muscle in my neck. But oh did that make me laugh. I have one that thinks she has to shower 3 times a day. And not just when she is on her period lol
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Post by khaleesi on Aug 20, 2015 18:04:13 GMT
I learned everything I needed to know from Judy Blume She taught me what I needed to know and then the purple book we got in health class just rounded out what Judy Blume taught me! I remember after getting our purple books, we raced out to the playground to where the boys were to see what was in their blue books Also, those mini zipper pouch bags that you can get from Thirty One or Ipsy bags if you subscribe are perfect for holding supplies! I have several and keep them in my work bag, purse, car, desk, etc. It may be an option for backpacks, too.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 18:05:37 GMT
I learned everything I needed to know from Judy Blume She taught me what I needed to know and then the purple book we got in health class just rounded out what Judy Blume taught me! I remember after getting our purple books, we raced out to the playground to where the boys were to see what was in their blue books Also, those mini zipper pouch bags that you can get from Thirty One or Ipsy bags if you subscribe are perfect for holding supplies! I have several and keep them in my work bag, purse, car, desk, etc. It may be an option for backpacks, too. I looked quickly today when I was at Target but they didn't have any small bags - just some larger ones. I was looking for a really small size so that they could just slip it in their backpack easily. I think I'll look at Etsy!
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,146
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Aug 20, 2015 18:11:18 GMT
If you havent already please purchase a copy of "The Care and Keeping of You" from American Girl. That book was my bible between the ages of 9 and 12. I read that thing from cover to cover a hundred times. I totally agree with this. I had the talk with my daughter and she would come to me and ask questions but, having this book is priceless, she read it over and over. She would refer to that book for so many things.
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Post by tinydogmafia on Aug 20, 2015 18:14:33 GMT
Way to go!!! You've done a great thing talking to them and even encouraging them to seek out their dad!
As I read your post I had a flashback to my own first period. It was awful, I was at summer camp and had no idea what was happening to me. My mom was a great lady but never sat me down for that talk and I was scared, bewildered and unprepared at camp. I'm glad that times have changed and we can be more open with these important discussions.
Great job!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 20, 2015 18:16:57 GMT
I had girls start their periods for the first time in class every single year. Some were mortified, but most knew what was coming. I could never understand the reasons parents wouldn't tell their girls way ahead of time. Do you really want her teacher to be the one who has to explain it? I don't have girls, but I'd like to think I would have pretty good with them. I always was as approachable about any of those subjects as possible as their teacher because I would much rather the info come from me than their friends who may or may not know the real answers. If kids wanted to know about the actual sexual act, that was a question for their parents, but I tried to navigate the rest of the material as matter of fact and no big deal. It seems a shame to me that some kids felt more comfortable discussing girlie issues- period, cramps, liking boys, etc. with their teacher than their mom. I guess if your mom didn't talk to you about it, it might be more difficult. I love to hear that the peas are all doing it regardless of the way their parents did it.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Aug 20, 2015 18:22:48 GMT
There are a lot of good book resources that you may want to give them so they can learn the mechanics in depth, at their own pace, too. It actually is a good idea for the girls to be comfortable asking Dad any questions or just aware that he knows about this stuff. My dh isn't much of an answer guy on this subject, but the girls aren't particularly secretive about what time of the month it is, either. Both of them have actually fainted a couple of times each from bad cramps, and he's been there to help pick them up and deal with it (offer Aleve, get the hot pad going, etc). One dd had a horrifying Dexter-like episode in the back seat of the car during her first period, and he handled that quite well--and for dd, the cat was out of the bag. They're pretty relaxed with him without being overly detailed. If he asks what's wrong and they say 'cramps', no one blinks an eye. My dh is so comfortable with it, never batted an eye, but dds are so embarrassed in front of him. They tell me they need to go shopping for "things" if dh is in earshot. He has tried to talk to them and make them more comfortable to no avail. Maybe they need a Dexter experience with him........... No, no Dexter experience! I will admit that I've never seen anything like that, even with myself and an older daughter. It actually really scared me. I wouldn't wish it on you! (though I know you're joking .
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 18:32:19 GMT
My dh is so comfortable with it, never batted an eye, but dds are so embarrassed in front of him. They tell me they need to go shopping for "things" if dh is in earshot. He has tried to talk to them and make them more comfortable to no avail. Maybe they need a Dexter experience with him........... No, no Dexter experience! I will admit that I've never seen anything like that, even with myself and an older daughter. It actually really scared me. I wouldn't wish it on you! (though I know you're joking . I've had one of those Dexter experiences. Thank God it was in my bathroom after I'd gotten out of the shower though!!! I would've been horrified if I'd have been out anywhere!!
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Post by kellybelly77 on Aug 20, 2015 18:34:00 GMT
I had this talk with my girls when they were in 5th and 3rd grade also. My mom never talked to me about any of this stuff so I wanted to make sure I did. They were curious and I answered all the questions. And then I got pregnant with dd3 and we had the whole talk. Where babies come from, how they got in there, etc. And my 3rd grader would make comments in public like, what happens if the baby just falls out of your uterus? I likely wouldn't have had this part of the talk so early if I hadn't been pregnant!
But, I am not the "God plants a special seed inside mommies and a baby grows" kind of person. Very matter of fact about it, using correct terms. Yeah, it was hard but not as hard as raising a 16yo's baby! But I did tell them not to talk about this to their friends and to come to me with any questions. I have gotten a few over the last couple years and I am thankful they feel like they can talk about this.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Aug 20, 2015 18:37:11 GMT
I truly am just curious, but how do you (anyone) make it that far without ever having had that conversation with your children? I'm pretty sure the boys knew what femprods were for and basic biology of menstruation before they hit school and, well, they're boys. Between the commercials and actually having to buy femprods myself, there was no way they wouldn't have asked the question.
Again, no judgement, just wondering (and maybe a bit envious?)
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 18:41:17 GMT
I had this talk with my girls when they were in 5th and 3rd grade also. My mom never talked to me about any of this stuff so I wanted to make sure I did. They were curious and I answered all the questions. And then I got pregnant with dd3 and we had the whole talk. Where babies come from, how they got in there, etc. And my 3rd grader would make comments in public like, what happens if the baby just falls out of your uterus? I likely wouldn't have had this part of the talk so early if I hadn't been pregnant! But, I am not the "God plants a special seed inside mommies and a baby grows" kind of person. Very matter of fact about it, using correct terms. Yeah, it was hard but not as hard as raising a 16yo's baby! But I did tell them not to talk about this to their friends and to come to me with any questions. I have gotten a few over the last couple years and I am thankful they feel like they can talk about this. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's hilarious!! Yeah, I'm a straight forward type of person too. No sugar coating it or calling it names other than the real ones.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 18:44:40 GMT
I truly am just curious, but how do you (anyone) make it that far without ever having had that conversation with your children? I'm pretty sure the boys knew what femprods were for and basic biology of menstruation before they hit school and, well, they're boys. Between the commercials and actually having to buy femprods myself, there was no way they wouldn't have asked the question. Again, no judgement, just wondering (and maybe a bit envious?) No one ever asked. LOL I was ready to start answering questions years ago but despite what they see on tv (although we really don't watch a ton of tv) they've never asked. And I figure up until now if they had no questions then I wasn't volunteering information. As far as buying stuff, I don't usually have them with me when I'm shopping but if I do, they haven't cared about what I was buying. But they are now informed.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 20, 2015 18:50:05 GMT
I taught 2nd grade and had a girl who started her period over Christmas break - yes, in 2nd grade. I know we had several in 3rd grade, but this was the first one I had to deal with in 2nd. (she had never been held back). It's happening earlier and earlier... Oh, that is just sad! I know my sisters started around 10-12 or so and they kind of clued me in. My mom never said a word about it other than taking me to the doctor when I was 15 because I hadn't started yet. Talk about awkward! Thank God it was a woman doctor or I would have been mortified. I'm taking notes on this thread because I'm sure the next five years are going to fly by as fast as the first five have with my DD! Anyone have any good book suggestions for age appropriate birds & bees discussions with younger kids? ETA: I went to a Catholic grade school, so we didn't get sex ed at our school!
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,625
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Aug 20, 2015 18:53:00 GMT
Good job momma! (My mother never talked about it at all and I was mortified when I started at school at the age of 12, completely unprepared.)
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on Aug 20, 2015 19:33:36 GMT
My daughter tells me next to nothing lol. She's like her father.
But on this issue she's an open book because I had open talks with her early.
A few other sub-issues....
I tell her she can always put any pads/liners whatever she needs into the cart if we're at Walmart/target let's say. She doesn't need to ask and feel weird about it.
She can always bring her sheets/clothing down for laundry ....I'd rather do it right away than have surprises in the wash.
Good luck! And good job!
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Post by piebaker on Aug 21, 2015 0:34:34 GMT
They separated the boys and girls the last week of school in fourth grade and gave us booklets about the changes. I brought my booklet home and showed my Mom, who said: "Don't worry, the dog gets her period, and she survives." ::)That was the extent of sex ed in my house. I grew several inches that summer, taller than any of my classmates, boys included, so I started early the next school year. I am dating myself, because the adhesive-backed pads were new on the market, much better than the belts and surfboards that shifted. I promised myself my kids could ask me anything and that I would be prepared. I had books and supplies handy, and ice cream to chat over.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 23:12:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2015 0:56:29 GMT
You are a good mom. I can tell your work hard and put a lot of effort into doing things for your kids so they have it better than you did.
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